This past year, I took a long look back at life life in the 70s, 80s, and more recently, the 90s. As I looked back, I realized there was a crimp in my damn neck so I had to go back to the forward position!
Facetious as that may sound, there is some truth to it. You can only reflect for so long before getting back to normal operating procedure...whatever that is for you, that is (in other words, your actual mileage may vary).
I really could have ended my journey back at 1999 and been done with it, especially since the year ended on a positive note and a new adventure was about to begin. Then again, that was 27 years ago and so much has happened since then. The only problem is that, unlike the 90s, I am not sure if I have put enough distance between then and now to look at things...objectively. Well, who is really objective about themselves? That said, I've hesitated a lot over life and that's just no fun, so it is time to once again take the Nestea plunge!
2000
As a new century/millenium was coming (in actuality it was starting in 2001), everyone was realizing just how stupid they were for believing any of the crap thrown at us over the Y2K situation regarding computers. As it turned out, the only thing that happened when midnight struck into January 1,2000 was that a lot of people threw up...pretty much the same as any other New Year fallout!
The end of another car era was upon me. As my friend Scott's grandma June no longer drove, she and her son Lew decided to let me have it. The car was an Oldsmobile Cutlass Cruiser station wagon. I don't remember the year, but it was a definite improvement over the Volvo. In turn, I sold the Volvo for a song and a dance, essentially.
Near the end of January, I began my new journey as a learner of educational techniques and theories at my old alma mater Sonoma State. Like 1994, it was a time to meet some new people. I would say the closest friendship I made in that time was with fellow classmate Jacqueline Rolfe, a single mom with two boys who lived near Scott's parents. There were others, of course, but she is the only one I have maintained contact with over the course of 20 years.
The first semester, I had a class about teaching reading, another one about math, an educational pedagogy class, and I believe a general intro class. It was a good load for the first round. Aside from classes, we also took field trips to schools here and there and were required to do classroom observations. I found a school not far from the apartment. It was a first grade classroom and the teacher, Robin Holley, was quite open to my presence there and answered my questions as they came. That was a pretty good experience.
I was also subbing here and there to supplement life, since classes were in the evenings. Most of those stints went well since I was a seasoned pro, though there was one instance where I was a bit worried about getting an assignment done for class and the sub day didn't go so well. Well, the teacher called me later and gave me a bit of a raking over the coals when really all she had to do was request I didn't sub in her room again. Turns out she was a professor in the ed program at SSU, so I suspect there was a little power trip. Luckily I never had her as a professor.
I went to San Diego on the spring break (yes even in a post-graduate program). My mom had a new boyfriend. His name was Don Johnson (no relation to the actor) and was a pretty nice guy.
Before I knew it, the end of the semester was approaching! I tried to throw a little end of semester barbecue at our apartment for classmates, but through many scheduling conflicts nobody was able to come. I remember feeling a bit hurt by this even though it was just a matter of bad timing. However, after the last pedagogy class, two of the girls, Molly and Sarah, and I went to dinner and a movie to celebrate. In retrospect, I am probably not the best of hosts, and do better in small groups, so that was a better celebration.
Right after that, I took a long-anticipated trip back to Pennsylvania for a few days. I was supposed to take a redeye from San Francisco to Chicago Midway then from there to Philly on an airline called ATA. However, there were storms in Chicago so I was rerouted QUICKLY onto a Delta flight to Cincinnati and from there to Philly. Even though I didn't get much sleep, I got into Philadelphia a bit faster than the ATA flight would have delivered me.
I have to say, there is something about the term "you can't go back." There is truth in it...at least in terms of expectations. I hadn't been to PA in six and a half years and one should expect some change. As it turns out, there was a LOT of change! Many former patches of farmland had been turned into new neighborhoods. U.S. 222 was being rerouted onto a new freeway. That wasn't so bad, but the Sinking Spring drive-in theater had been torn down and was now a shopping strip with a Taco Bell.
The bright side was seeing some friends again. I got to see Jeremy Bitz one evening and stopped by to visit Bridgette Kozlowski for a few. The one I got to spend some good time with was Tris Vaughan. As I had a camcorder on this visit and was in the midst of making a "sequel" to our movie from 4 years before, Tris agreed to make a scene (of which I do believe it the only surviving piece) or two. He also introduced me to his wonderful finaceé Ann Marie. I stayed with our old friends the Kirkners. Ray and I went to a Phillies game and also went to see the movie "U-571". I'd always had a good relationship with him going back to when I was a little kid, so that was well spent time.
Alas, it was a short visit since I'd gotten a great cheap deal on a rent-a-car. I went home on a Tuesday and felt pretty bummed over the trip. Not the people I spent time with, but just the changes that had happened to the homeland. Twenty years later, having been in Vegas for over 18 years now, I can say with certainty that change is constant and if you live in the place that changes, it really is gradual.
Entering the summer, I was looking to expand my social horizons again. My friendship with Sarah, the Chinese girl in Sacramento had hit a stall...most likely because of me. I wasn't sure what it is I wanted (other than to get laid for a change) but making connections was a tough go. I did go out with a girl named Jody a couple times but that didn't seem to have a future.
I decided to go back to OCLI for the summer. They took me, but this time it was a 6pm to 6:30 am shift in a different department. This one required donning clean room attire every couple of hours, between which was a lot of down time. I worked with a group of fun people, most of whom smoked. I partook in that a few times, not to try to be cool but just to adjust to the weird hours. Sometimes after the shift we'd hit a local dive and had a beer or two. After that I'd go home and sleep until mid afternoon. It was another 3-3 4-4 schedule, so my days off consisted of getting up in the afternoon and getting to bed around 4 or 5 am. Needless to say, getting out of that sleep pattern was a chore!
Coming into the fall semester, I had a social studies class, a science class, and a part-time student teaching gig. The social studies class had us going on some weird journeys to get us out of our comfort zone. There was another assignment in there that got me in a tad of hot water...as usual because I ran off the cliff before looking first. The assignment was to do a study on a student. I was in a kindergarten class and chose a student. The problem was, even though I contacted the mom, I hadn't discussed this with the lead teacher for guidance. In short, I'd made the other parent angry and I kind of left the school with my tail between my legs.
I did get another shot and was re-placed at Bellevue Elementary. in a 5th grade class. I was happy for the second shot, but like one or two other instances in my life, I had just sunk myself into a new depression. I kind of went through the motions for the rest of the semester, getting my assignments done and all, but I was definitely in a new funk.
The election: Bush vs Gore...kind of like Denny's vs IHOP: neither are really the prime choice but it's what's at the next exit.
My dad came up for my 28th birthday, after which we took a drive up to Enumclaw, Washington where my sister and her family were now living. I hadn't been up to see them in a year and a half, so this was a well-anticipated visit. The time with my dad was also good. The kids had grown quite a bit and were fun to watch and play with.
Sarah from Sacramento had popped back in and we decided to see how things went, though the long distance thing, even though it was only about 80 miles, wasn't really for me.
In December, Scott's Aunt Del passed away after a long sickness. I was quite fond of her and her passing did not feed the depression in a good way. Christmas came and went. While in San Diego, I met Don's daughter Geneva and Don's friends Dan and Anita. All god people, but my mind was in a cloud, and my mom definitely noticed.
2001
I wasn't the only one going through a rough period. After some time with the insurance company as an underwriter, Scott had had enough and went through a weird series of jobs the previous year, from census taker (akin to asking someone to accept a rectal thermometer for temperature check) to medical supply salesman. He finally landed a job in the Sonoma County sheriff's department in early this year...not as a cop but a financial department guy.
I was finally in the full student teaching end of my teaching program. I was at the same school as before, this time with a second grade teacher named Emma Charlebois. She was a fairly strict teacher but a good mentor. Her class and I got along well. There was another part timer in the class named Matt, but he left early on. I subbed occasionally right at the school and got some good advice here and there from other teachers and the principal himself.
My experience as a student teacher was overall positive. I had a lot to learn about classroom management and lesson planning, but that stuff would come with experience as the lead teacher.
I before I knew it, the semester and time at Sonoma State was done. This time, I made sure I walked at the ceremony. Mom and Don came up for it and afterward we went out to dinner at a place in Bodega Bay.
After that...nothing! I really don't know exactly how to describe it, but it was like I was repeating the summer of 1997 after that graduation. Something big was over but I had no connections to the future. I didn't WANT to do anything but get up, watch TV, and crawl through life for a while. A visit to San Diego got me nothing except an Ab Doer that Don got for cheap at his swap meet in El Cajon.
As summer segued into autumn and no prospects, I went back into substitute teaching. I subbed in a few familiar haunts form years before, but found myself driving often to the Sonoma area. A few schools there became regular gigs.
June had a bad fall in her garage and had to be taken to the hospital. It was determined at this time that she couldn't be alone at her house anymore so she was placed in a sort of retirement home. For a while Scott and I traded off staying at her house, then we permanently moved into the house. We had had a good stay at the Parkhurst apartment, over 3 1/2 years.
Kimberly and I got together one day before the school year began and had lunch at Bubba Gump's at Pier 39 in San Francisco. We got a picture together in a model cable car display...a good shot of 2 old friends.
And then 9/11 happened. I was subbing in a Kindergarten in Boyes Hot Springs that day and I had to calm some kids down when even I didn't know what was really going on at first. When I did get the whole story, it really didn't do much for my spirit at the time...didn't really deepen the trouble, but definitely did not help, either!
Before moving into the house, I finally had something happen to take me out of the funk I was in. I had emailed my grandma for a recipe and when she responded, she totally BLASTED me for not taking initiative to get a real teaching job! At first I was shocked but then it was like that scene in Santa Claus 3 where Jack Frost gets defrosted. My motivation suddenly hit and I began organizing my interview kits. At one sub job the next week, there was a sudden rain and thunderstorm in the afternoon. It was truly like a major pressure was taken off of me!
However, one scathing email wasn't enough to get me completely out of it. I needed some help and though the Kaiser HMO system I found myself talking to a therapist once a week. I was finally getting some things out that had been building for years. Being a newbie to therapy, I found that there were some days after a session that I was feeling a bit low and not wanting to communicate much. The therapy period was not long, since Kaiser wasn't interested much in 1 on 1 psychotherapy, they were more for treating drug and alcohol addicts. Oh well, it wasn't to be my only time on the couch in life.
At any rate, I was much better in terms of motivation. I was going to interviews all over the state, mostly in the Central Valley. Not all that positive at first, but I was learning along the way. The Cruiser was certainly getting miles in. Also, getting out of the house and out of town for a few hours was healthy.
Scott and I came to take June out to lunch fairly frequently. We missed her a lot and the house wasn't quite the same without her. We were taking good care of the place and cleaned out a lot of clutter that had built up. It was also nice to have a bit more space to move around in.
My time with Sarah in Sacramento had ended in the summer and I think my funk had a lot to do with it. We did have one more lunch together in the fall. She had been concerned about me and had misread my reassurances about how I was doing as something alarming, perhaps suicide.
I don't remember exactly where the no-go interview had been but I took a leisurely drive toward and up the coast back home afterward. I got a beautiful November coastal sunset in the process and that was quite therapeutic.
Before going to San Diego for Christmas, my friend from the summer of 2000 Jody popped back in. We went to a movie one night and vowed to get together in the new year. The San Diego visit was better than the previous year's in terms of my sense of self-worth, but I was still the 3rd wheel. That was ok, I was determined to make 2002 the year of something big....
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