To the Left to the Left to the Left...To the Right to the Right to the Right!

 To tell the truth, I don't know where I am on the political field anymore. I thought I knew.

I still think I am a Republicn at heart, but this needs explaining and by that I mean beliefs.

I believe in a system where I am minimally taxed on my income.

I believe in a small central government.

I believe in a STRONG national defense (strong but not overarching).

I believe in personal responsibility and personal freedom and the freedom to succeed in a profitable enterprise...provided that enterprise doesn't hurt others other than competition.

I believe states should handle healthcare and education.

I believe our Constitution is law and is required to be followed.

Is that pretty simply and easy to understand? Yeah, I don't really ask for too much. 

Yet, I have come to learn many things in my life, one of which is: personal freedom is highly judged by others who do not think you should be free to be or do anything that does not line up with their idea of personal freedom...or often what others have TOLD THEM what personal freedom really is.

This is where many church leaders have corrupted souls. Or radio talk show hosts or Fox News or anyone who deems themselves an "infleuncer".

We see these people more and more in modern times. When I was first driving 35 years ago, the closest thing to influencer was Rush Limbaugh and MTV, and both were considered entertainment only.

I really don't care if you are a man who considers yourself to be a woman (or vice versa), I don't care of you're homo or hetero, I don't care if you consider yourself to be a "furry", I don't care if you howl at the moon. NONE OF THOSE THINGS AFFECT ME OR HURT ME!

As for my approval, I keep it to myself. I might stare if you are doing or wearing something that draws my attention, but that goes for the general population. 

With all that said, I am not sure my vision of being Republican connects with other Republicans. I am definitely not MAGA.

Why?

MAGA has no meaning, particularly the AGAIN part.

At which point is the clock being turned back to? When was America last great before it supposedly went to hell?

It could be before Watergate, before George W., before Bill Clinton, before Vietnam, or even before Abraham Lincoln.

But there's a dark truth that nobody is discussing, but I've seen it since Trump part 1.

Here it is...

THIS NATION HAS NOT FORGIVEN ITSELF FOR HAVING A BLACK PRESIDENT FOR 2 CONSECUTIVE TERMS!

There, I said it! 

It's like we defiled ourselves as a nation. We really didn't. However, when you have 220 years of white guys as President, and usually older ones at that, and then you get a 40-something Black man who is quite intelligent and maintains good international relations, it belies a perception held by many.

In media terms, Barack Obama was not George Jefferson or Lamont Sanford or Shaft. He was a well-spoken educated man. And he was likeable.

Query: Would Barack have been more appealing to the public if he had been a Republican with conservative views?

Like the Tootsie pop, the world may never know.

I doubt it, though. The Republicans had a go with Ben Carson 11 years ago but he didn't even get close. Once Trump came in, it was pretty much over.

And that one thing Barack Obama gave us that still gives a bitter taste was the Affordable Care Act. I know it raised my premiums when it was rolled out.  Ever since then, the GOP has tried to get rid of it with no replacement in mind ("concepts of a plan", remember that crap in 2024?)

Right now I see a sad Republican party that is not seeing a viable escape. Sure, some are distancing themselves from the executive time bomb, but too little too late, I fear. It became the party of personality when Trump came in. They let him in because they thought once he was in, they could control him to enact their vision, which up to then was pretty much the Newt Gingrich vision.

There was no controlling Donald Trump, though. He commanded loyalty and chose those who would obey him. The only hitch was, one had to come through time and time again with the bar being raised higher and higher. 

Then came COVID. Until then, I truly believed Trump would automatically have a second term, but he botched it with weird suggestions and constant flip-flopping....and to that I have to defend him a little because we were all swimming blind, especially when those damn masks slid over our eyes, even Trump!

But he lost (YES HE LOST IN 2020!) and the efforts that led up to January 6,2021 trying to reverse those election results ranks right up with the 1972 efforts of CREEP to re-elect Richard Nixon, a ton of dirty tricks and lies and a mob wreaking havoc on our nation's Capitol.

Trump lost, he lied about losing (not to mention having loyalists around him telling him he really won and they had a plan to keep him in), and he Kool-Aided a mob into violently trying to force Congress to reject the electoral ballots.

January 6, 2021 was the day I lost any idea that Donald Trump might have a shred of decency. But that's just me, I'm sure. I'm used to being a sole political opinion.

Maybe not.

It didn't get better, though.

I was not very impressed with the Joe Biden years. Some said, "At least it isn't Trump!" 

It wasn't enough.

I watched the 2019 Democratic debates to see who they would put up against Trump. Out of all of those 20 people who decided to throw their hat in the ring...even the Democrats chose the old white guy.

And they were hoping Trump would be in so much legal trouble that he wouldn't be able to run in 2024. They were hoping the January 6 investigations would be finished and get Trump out of politics for good!

So their old white guy could have an easy shot against whoever ran against him.

Oops! They didn't count on the GOP running so many stall tactics on that 1/6/21 investigation that Trump would come to debate Biden. 

Not only did Trump debate him, he creamed him more than a can of Del Monte creamed corn is creamed.

And they brought in Kamala. Her debate with Trump was much more victorious...but it was empty in the end. She came in too late to establish herself as a real contender, and her party ran it all wrong. She was exposed in too much mainstream media and not enough independent video bloggers who are rising as a major influence with their growing audiences. Farron, David, and Brian are getting a lot bigger now in terms of audience. Granted, all 3 are quite left wing and quite opinionated (but Farron does make me laugh) but they deliver news well that tends to not get reported in mainstream anymore.

I will say that I voted for Kamala just because of that January 6 tragedy upon our nation.

But I knew deep inside that Trump was going to win anyway.

Old white guy rule triumphs again. And I suspect old white guy will win for the rest of my life.

All that said, the Democrats are no better. I learned that in 2016, the way Bernie was trampled by Team Hillary into oblivion. In a way, for a short time, I was glad Trump won.

Some have asked me (while calling me ignorant and stupid) why I don't like Donald Trump.

You mean aside from January 6? Well...let's say I've been aware of him as a public figure for over 40 years and aside from the awesomeness of Trump Tower in Manhattan (I was there once), I was never impressed with him as a human being. Watching one episode of The Apprentice really gave it all away that he just likes to be in charge of all he can be in charge of. And he likes getting richer and stamping the Trump name on anything he can find. Which is fine...except he wants everyone to think he is the greatest human being alive.

News flash:

There are richer people than Trump.

There are greater people than Trump.

There are smarter people than Trump.

And there are better people than Trump. Better to me means being kinder to the human race as a whole.

As for Jeffrey Epstein, I don't know how much Trump was involved with him and I don't care anyway, my opinion was already sealed 5 years ago, it can't get worse.

But the left so far is no better, and until they stop winning on recoil effect alone and win on their own merits including better campaigning and messaging, the GOP will be back.

I'm a registered Republican and yes I just said that...because until the Republicans start doing good for Joe Average American and do less for their rich donors, it won't get better.

Eating Out of Business

 We all know this question:

What's for dinner?

What's for lunch?

I'm hungry...what's to eat around here?

Of course, the answer to any of those questions is to see what is in the house that will satisfy my hunger if I put a few minutes of effort in...right? Right?

OF COURSE NOT!! At least not in this house, sad to say. The intended answer is to leave the house to pick something up to eat and either eat it there or bring it back home, thereby spending about 4 times the amount of moeny it would have cost to get something from the store, bring it home, cook, and hopefully enjoy...hopefully meaning it wasn't cooked by me.

Self deprecating, I know, but as a bachelor I got by ok because I had only myself to feed. When I met Vickie, the first woman to suffer my culinary shortfalls, I was finally met with criticism that has lasted 20 years this year along with our relationship.

The next question is what to eat?

If it is my daughter, the answer is easy: a McDouble meal with a Diet Coke (because she's watching those sugars, you know).

If it is just the 2 of us, there are some more options, not necessarily healthy. Hey, let's be honest, the purpose of going out to eat is convenience and hopefully a delicious or at least expected experience, not a feeling of, "Hey, where can we eat that supplies us with protein, healthy fats, vitamins, and minerals?"

To give you an idea of how that last one works, there was an eatery near us called Greens and Proteins for several years, and I hardly saw anyone eating there or ordering out. I was amazed it lasted as long as it did (the staff wasn't all that perky, which likely did not make the place a draw). Replacing it was a Handel's Ice Cream, which is busy every day, even in cooler weather. 

Baskin Robbins is also holding up well, to give you an idea.

However, those are desserts, let's go to fast food.

Here is where I am seeing some realities hit, for better or worse, usually worse.

Question: which fast food places are always crowded and have plenty of staff to keep the operation running?

3 places in Las Vegas come to mind: Chick Fil-A, In N Out, and Raising Canes.

If you look at any of these places (except for Chick Fil A on a Sunday), you will see a well oiled machine, so good that their parking lots are hell to get into or leave. 

But wait, Bryan, having a lot of staff does not mean it is good food.

How true! And yet, Raising Canes has a great main product and they don't vary from it. Same with Chick Fil A and In N Out. I also suspect that the staff of all 3 are paid nicely and that teamwork is promoted.

That to me says one thing: SUCCESSFUL BUSINESS MODEL. I can definitely see where a profitable eatery is rewarded with money pumped back into the business, making it even better. Treat the staff well and be on the lookout for healthy leadership material. Also, KEEP THE PRODUCT CONSISTENT!

Sadly, I see other fast food places I grew up with that are not doing so hot, judging from the lack of consistent business at any given store.

Wendy's may have a couple of decades left, but I have seen the down-trend since the passing of Dave Thomas.

Arby's is also in trouble. I see it at every store I enter.  A few in town have been shuttered. 

Same with Carl's Jr.

Somehow, Burger King has survived, but I'm not sure how. Sure, the food is good (I always like a Whopper here and there). That said, I've seen staff arguments at one near us, and that one is always slow both in the dining room and drive thru. 

Del Taco and Taco Bell seem to breathe on their own all right no matter what.

Same with Natalie's favorite, McDonald's.

Having been a DoorDasher for 6 months now, I am starting to see a difference betwen corporate owned/operated and franchises when it comes to McDonald's. Four that I have picked up orders from have their act together. One does not, and that one almost always has either staffing or organization problems. A new one is being built two miles up the road from that operation, hopefully better. 

Or maybe the ownership isn't the difference, but rather just the management.

Besides McDonald's, I also see differences at a few Little Caesar's. OK, I know pizza is not precisely fast food, though the Hot & Ready setup makes it so for Little Caesar's.

One thing I have noticed is that no matter your own opinion on the food or how many times people complain about the wait or food quality, McDonald's and Little Caesar's have a LOT of business. I have read about the "science" of McDonald's and how they draw customers, or rather draw them back. It's a form of food hypnosis for many. I don't know, I worked at one in Sinking Spring, PA for a few months and aside from a free cheeseburger during break time, all I got form it was a uniform that reeked of grease after every shift.

As for Little Caesar's, my upper and lower GI have agreed they do not like their pizza, 'nuff said. However, Little Caesar's is always crowded with delivery drivers like me and people coming to place an order. One night while I was dashing, a Little Caesar's stopped taking orders because they were so backed up. That was a first.

On the chicken front, it is troubling. I was once a Kentucky Fried Chicken adherent. A 2-piece, mashed and slaw was my go-to for years when I desired fried chicken. I came to like Popeye's a bit better over time, but both companies seem to have some form of issue behind the counter, but there are good exceptions I have seen. 

Looking around town, I also see a plethora of Hawaiian eateries. I tried one once, and if you like rice, Spam, and macaroni salad, enjoy!

Also there is a growing chain of Mexican food  in town called Don Tortaco.Cute name, and if they stay local, they can probably make it last.

All that said, where will we eat?

Usually we will choose locality, and Raising Canes and Domino's are our two main go-to's. If we feel like a sit-down experience and we can afford it, we will share either steak or salmon at Outback.

Dessert-wise (our failing), a Hershey's pie from BK or an apple pie from McDonald's will suffice, or maybe an ice cream from that new Handel's.

At any rate (probably my heart rate after a Big Mac), the dine-out industry is changing and it will be fun to watch...and judging form my watch, some place has anearly bird special! Gotta go!

Tunnels of Love...and a Big Boy Santa

 A fun memory:

I don't remember if it was Christmas 1977 or 1978, but I guess it doesn't matter.

Very early in the morning, I am woken up by my dad. I am already excited because I know what is happening: our drive to Michigan for Christmas. He brings me into the living room where our cheerfully lit and decorated tree, albeit an artificial one, stands. He puts our Gene Autry Christmas album on the phonograph for me to listen to and get excited by as he loads the car up with luggage and, as I later found out, all of Santa's presents wrapped in that special red tissue paper. As a civil engineer, my dad knew how to employ every available square centimeter of trunk space!

My dad also turns on the car, which was a yellow-orange 1971 Ford Torino, to get the heat going. Before the first side of the album was completely done, we are getting into the car, me carrying my stuffed Curious George, my faithful bedtime and road trip companion.

I fall asleep for a bit as it is still dark out, though I am miraculously awake as we get our ticket for entering the Pennsylvania Turnpike at the beckoning toll booth at mile marker 286. Back in those days, way before EZPASS was even a transporation authority's wet dream, actual humans distributed tickets and took in the due money.

Soon after, I was asleep again, but as we got close to the first mountain after over 80 miles of forest and farmland, I popped awake again...our my dad woke me...to see an exciting sign: TUNNEL 1 MILE!

There were four tunnels on the Turnpike: Blue Mountain, Kitatinny Mountain, Tuscarora Mountain, and Allegheny Mountin. The first 2 were right next to each other, dubbed the double tunnel. Tuscarora was about 10 miles to the west, and Allegheny was about 60 miles down the road.

At one time, long before I was born, there were 7 tunnels, but Sideling Hill, Ray's Hill, and Laurel Hill were bypassed.

At mile marker 172, we pulled off at the Sideling Hill service plaza for breakfast. My dad had a philosophy of 100 miles before breakfast, and I think we were at 130 at that stop.

After a good breakfast of whatever Howard Johnson had provided (that company ran all of the service plazas in Pennsylvania, Ohio, and Indiana), we were back on the road and I was reading all of the mile markers and any of the billboards I was able to decipher at age 5 or 6.

After a few hours what what I conceived at driving fast (55mph in those days), we were approaching a double set of toll booths. The first was for paying our fee to Pennsylvania, and just a few miles to the west was the ticket dispensing agent at the first Ohio Turnpike toll booth.

I remember being excited to be in a new state, but it wore off as I saw that Ohio was quite a bit flatter than Pennsylvania. I was always excited to see exit signs, though. There were still some hills and a pretty neat arch bridge while we passed through the southern Cleveland area. After Cleveland, it got flat and farmy for a while.

And then something really exciting happened (for me anyway): the sign for Exit 5: 280 to 75, Toledo-Detroit, Stony Ridge!

The ramp off was pretty neat, going a bit to the right and then crossing over the turnpike to the final toll booth, and then on to I 280, which itself was fairly boring until it entered the Toledo area. 280 crossed over the Maumee RIver on a drawbridge, and I don't remember if it was that year, but one of our drives treated us to the drawbridge going up for a passing boat.

Soon after, we got on to I 75 for the final leg of our jouney into the Detroit area.

Normally, we pulled into Royal Oak at one of my grandparents' homes before eating dinner (both sets of grandparents lived less than a quarter mile away from each other) but this time we were so hungry that we stopped at an Elias Brothers Big Boy on Telegraph Road. On that night, Santa Claus was going around talking to kids, handing out candy canes and the promotional Big Boy comic book for kids.

One final moment of excitement came when we were onb Twelve Mile Road in Royal Oak: the Grand Trunk railroad bridge. Now, we had passed under so many highway bridges on this drive, and I was always impressed with the multitude of them on 75 going through Detroit, but this one always looked neat to me from the outside and passing under it.

Wow, thinking back to those times brings a smile and a small tear to my eye since it represents a time of happiness for me. My dad always built those long drives up for me and we often talk about them. In fact I was asking him about what kind fo mileage that Torino got and we talked a bit more and I felt the inspiration to write this.

Ode to a Mall

 

Apparently, a eulogy must be said, for a death I never expected. Not a person, but a place. A place that holds so many memories from my childhood is leaving us. It is a place called The Berkshire Mall.

Situated on what I assume was once a part of Berks County's former lush farmlands (before the housing boom slowly crept in) in West Wyomissing, the Berkshire Mall was a place where families came, along with teens and their friends hanging out after school, Friday evenings, and the weekends.

Truly, I hardly know where to begin!

From my memory, which leads up to the end of 1991/first week of 1992, there were two eras of the upstairs portion as well as food. The upstairs once had a restaurant, or rather a few. The one that comes to mind is Gadgets, which had a Looney Tunes theme. There was also a barber shop, Radio Shack, and Starcade, where the coolest arcade and pinball games awaited handfuls of quarters to pay the rent. In those days that upstairs also had a street lamp decor.

There was a small food "lane" downstairs close to the Sears end of the building. Taco Casa, Arby's, and I believe a Paolo's Pizza. I think there was a cheesesteak place too, but I am not positive. There was also once a small photography studio, like a pop-up-store, in the center of that lane.

Also in that part of the mall was once a 1-screen movie theater and then a Chuck E Cheese was there for a couple of years, it did not last long.

Other food shops were Donuts Galore in the center near the colorful fountains. What comes to my mind was a great place called York Steakhouse, a cafeteria style eatery that had some decent food. York was a regular Friday Night treat before it closed down.

Store-wise, there were all sorts of clothing and shoe stores. As a reader, I loved Walden Books and B. Dalton Bookseller.

And then there was Wall-to-Wall Records, where there was practically anything for anyone's tastes, from vinyl to cassette and later likely CDs, though I was not there for the CD era.

After the creation of the new upstairs food court in the late 1980s, the streetlamp motif was gone in favor of brighter colors. A shame, really, that old theme was fun.

I remember whenever we drove up the Warren Street Bypass on U.S. 422 (now also 222), there was a curve where the Berkshire Mall was revealed in a pretty cool way, with the John Wanamaker anchor was up front with its cursive logo beckoning us forth. Other anchors were Sears along with its separate auto shop. I distinctively remember a good video game area at Sears in the 1980s. They also had a photography studio where we had family pics taken a few times. In the center was Pomeroy's for a long time. I remember the cool blue POMEROY'S lighting up at night. It later became the Bon Ton, with a less cool logo.

Sadly, the era of indoor shopping malls all around is coming to an end as a whole. Online shopping doomed them before they knew it in the late 1990s...thank you, Amazon, and *%$# you at the same time.

Diamonds Are Forever A Connery Finale

 As well as being on a road kick and healthy eating kick, I am also on one of my occasional Bond kicks...James Bond that is.

As with everything, my kicks go in cycles, though I think the healthy eating kick needs to be a bit more permanent.

Recently I read what could be called an "off-canon" Bond story, if there is any such thing, called Colonel Sun. It was written by author Kingsley Amis (alias Robert Markham) 4 years after Bond creator Ian Fleming's death. It was definitely something I consider many steps away form Fleming, yet Amis seemed to understand the core concept of James Bond and the character's history. That book was written years after the tale of Bond's one marriage and its tragic end. In fact, the Bond we see im Amis's rendition has not exactly lost his killer edge that helps him to survuve, but in terms of women, he has become more relaxed and much less guarded than he once was, letting things happen as they do because he has seen it all before and knows what to anticipate.

I bring this up again so soon because it segues into the topic of one of my favorite Bond movies, Diamonds are Forever. I first saw this movie about 35 years ago, a rental at the video store. When it was on TV, whatever ratings system the local paper used gave the movie 4 stars.

Now, I said this was one of my favorites in terms of James Bond...but I don't think it earned 4 stars. 3 maybe, or even that wonderful status of 2 1/2.

Critical aren't we, Bryan?

Yes, but I say the same for many a kooky movie that I enjoy watching. 4 stars is reserved for some level of acclaim, be it an epic war or western or other period piece that keeps my ass glued to the seat afraid to miss something. There is a long silly moon buggy chase scene in Diamonds that is easy to go relieve myself during.

After You Only Live Twice, Sean Connery quit playing Bond, and in my opinion, rightly so. He had become such a celebrity in the role that it was hard to escape its hold. After the seeming disaster of On Her Majesty's Secret Service (the movie was actually quite good except for the actor playing Bond), the producers pretty much begged Connery to return, giving in to a few costly demands along with it being his final Bond movie (well, not quite). 

If one looks at Connery thoughout Diamonds, they likely notice he's a bit older around the eyes since 1967, and much of the old intensity from 1962-63 is gone. In fact, much of the time he looks like he is on a lark, much like the next 7 Roger Moore Bond movies. The exception here is Bond strangling a woman to get information and slapping an insolent Jill St John, two acts that Moore never performed.

Of course, I have read the book many times, one of my favorites because it flows quite well. The basic diamond smuggling plot from the book gets the movie going for about an hour or so with some variation before he realizes he did not kill the real Blofeld.

Let me go back a bit.

In 1969, Bond married Tracy and just an hour or so later, Ernst Stavro Blofeld and his ugly henchwoman Irma Bunt tried to gun both down on the road but only Tracy had died. Cut to the opening of 1971's Diamonds and James is scouring the earth looking to find and kill Blofeld. He finally tracks him to a plastic surgery clinic where more than one Blofeld is being created. Bond kills one and then believes he is confronted by the real one, whom he also kills.

After that, the diamond smuggling caper begins with Bond following wily Tiffany Case to America to see what is happening to the diamonds being smuggled from South Africa. He impersonates smuggler Peter Franks, is almost incinerated at a Las Vegas mortuary, and shows his dice-rolling acumen in a casino. He meets casino-hustling Plenty O'Toole who is impressed with his ability to rake in the dough. They are about to have a one night stand before Tiffany Case has her men toss her into the pool several floors below. Plenty is later killed by a (assumed) homosexual pair named Mr. Wint and Mr. Kidd who are killing everyone involved in the diamond smuggling to close up shop.

Soon, Bond finds out who took the diamonds, a Dr. Metz. He sneaks into Metz's van at a gas station while now seemingly reformed Tiffany provides a distraction. He is taken to a scientific facility where there is apparently a radiation risk (he is given what is obviously a useless device to wear on his chest called a radiation shield). Once Bond is discovered, the movie descends into a silly antic of a moon buggy chase which evolves into a car chase in and around downtown Las Vegas (actually a fun scene if you know the places they show).

After that, Bond decides to pay a visit to the elusive and reclusive Willard Whyte by climbing to the top of the Whyte House, wher ehe meets not Whyte but a very much alive Blofeld with his one remaining clone. Of course, Bond kills the wrong one and the real Blofeld tries to have Bond killed and buried by Wint and Kidd, but Bond escapes.

The real Willard Whyte is found and rescued after Bond is beaten up by guards Bambi and Thumper (another silly scene), and thereafter, Blofeld's base is discovered on an oil  rig where Tiffany is a willing prisoner who tries to help Bond but is revealed to be a fairly brainless "broad", unlike the Tiffany of earlier in the movie. Nevertheless, she and Bond escape after Bond ram's Blofeld's bathosub into the rig's main headquarters building. Wint and Kidd make one final assassination attempt on two on a cruise ship before Bond sets one on fire and the other with a bomb, both going overboard to their deaths.

Truly, once the Blofeld nonsense is kicked up more than halfway through the movie, the film loses a lot of flavor...3 stars the first half, two stars the second half.

The book, however, is not just in Nevada but also in Saratoga Springs, New York. Plus, the book was published in 1956, 5 years before Blofeld was introduced in Thunderball. The mob is heavily featured in this story, a break from the Soviet SMERSH stories previously published. Wint and Kidd are also in the book, shown as butch assassins. Tiffany Case is also in the book, but her character stays true as a troubled young woman trying to make it in life, even if it is working for gangsters.

And that takes me to Ernst Stavro Blofeld himself. The movies introduced him as a mysterious character who is the head of SPECTRE as early as From Russia With Love in 1963, then Thunderball in 1965. His face is not seen in either. He is finally fully seen in You Only Live Twice in 1967 in the form of Donald Pleasance, a fairly creepy and perhaps the best Blofeld characterization. In On Her Majesty's Secret Service, Blofeld is a taller and more eloquent Telly Savalas, and he also did a good portrayal. 

But in Diamonds, he is played by Charles Gray, a quite NONTHREATENING performer. If you are not familiar with Gray, you might remember him as the "Criminologist" in The Rocky Horror Picture Show. The producers fell on this one in terms of Bond villain casting, and that is the weak part of the movie.

Back to Connery, he walks through the movie so nonchalantly, you'd almost think it was meant for Roger Moore. The threatening bra strangulation and slapping Tiffany are about the only moments you can see it's a shadow of the cold war spy we met in 1962 (well, I first saw him on some ABC Sunday Night Movie or a Blockbuster rental).

So why do I like this movie? It has a good feel before Bond is reunited with Blofeld more than halfway through, and any movie featuring Las Vegas during the majority has a certain appeal for me.

2 for U.S. 2

 It surely has been a bit since I covered any highways, school taking back up again and all, but I have not gotten even close to forgetting my mission of celebrating the greatest U.S. highways created starting 100 years ago next year.

So far, I have covered much of what I consider the desert giants. That was actually easy because if one looks at a highway map of the United States, the eastern half is like a maze, or rather a latticework of roads, while the west is much more sparse.

I also covered highways tht originated in Detroit as well as U.S. 6.

This evening, we will examine what I call the "Northern Tier Highway", known as...

2 is unique in its own right as there are two distinct secions of it.

The eastern portion of U.S. 2 is only about 460 miles, stretching from Maine to just barely into New York. This looks like a highway I would enjoy exploring, especially in the fall when the New England colors and temperatures give images of apple cider and cinnamon donuts..not that I'm doing much in the way of donuts anymore, but having grown up in the eastern U.S., the memory sticks. Not only the colors, but the small towns and countryside along with older building architecture are a sight to behold...and dearly miss when one such as I have lived among newer cookie cutter homes for quite some time now.

While U.S. 2 sees a good around of countryside through Maine, New Hampsire, and eastrern Vermont, its last several miles cross several parts of Lake Champlain. Plus, it begins just west of the Canadian border at New Brunswick and ends just south of Quebec near the northern end of U.S. 11.

However, that is just the beginning. Just a few hundred miles west in the start of Michigan's Upper Peninsula, U.S. 2 begins at I-75 in St. Ignace, just north of the Mackinac Bridge. 2 cuts through heavily wooded areas of northern Michigan after traveling along the northern banks of Lake Michigan. It meets U.S. 41 to travel through Escanaba together, then depart to Wisconsin, then Michigan again and back into Wisconsin after passing through Ironwood.and coursing through northern Wisconsin's ruralness before crossing into Minnesota south of Duluth and then heading into Minnesota's northern woods, farmland, and passing by many lakes along the way. I can just imagine the fun of this drive!

In North Dakota, U.S. 2 sees fewer lakes and many more empty prairies, perhaps wondering if Laura Ingalls Wilder traipsed through those areas.

And then we hit Montana...all 667 miles of it! And much of that land is as empty as North Dakota with even LESS water! After many hundreds of miles of plains and small towns, 2 crosses I 15 in Shelby and then passes through the Blackfeet Reservation before heading by and giving access to Glacier National Park. After many miles of empty plain, U.S. 2 finally hits the Rockies and is a mountain road well into Kalispell where it meets U.S. 93. It maintains a woodsy-mountain feel into Idaho as it heads to join U.S. 95 to Sandpoint and then follow the Pend Oreille River into Washington before it cuts south to be part of the Spokane metro area. It joins I 90 briefly before going into the vast emptiness of central Washington, looking at times like much of Montana. After a long while, it crosses the Columbia River north of Wenatchee and heads into the Cascades, crossing Stevens Pass before ending in Everett at I 5.

U.S. 2 is definitely a more sparse highway as it cuts through the northern tier of the nation, but it does provide access to many scenic and exciting areas...just a lot of distance between them. I would likely find U.S. 2 to be fun in New England with its throwback feel to Minnesota's many lakes to Montana's vast emptiness. A little of something for everyone!

Here Comes The Colonel Sun

    I am not sure who is not aware of this, but aside from roads, I am a HUGE fan of James Bond. I remember when ABC used to play a combo of the Roger Moore and Sean Connery entries during the summer on Sunday nights in the 80s and early 90s.

   Later on, I began to read the original source material written by Ian Fleming between 1953 and 1965. While some of the movies stayed fairly true to the books, a few strayed considerably, particularly The Spy Who Loved Me, You Only Live Twice, Moonraker, and The Man With the Golden Gun. Of course, we all know that theatrical license needs to be taken to make a movie watchable. Trust me on Moonraker, that book put me to sleep.

   In the early 1980s, an author named John Gardner picked up the Bond concept in a series of novels that ran between 1981 and 1996. These books were more in the vein of Roger Moore silliness than Fleming's cold and calculating secret agent. I read most of them quite easily within a day or so, which may have been the problem. Gardner's prose was was simple without diving too deeply into sensory detail, which at the time suited me fine. Even now, I skip past long paragraphs describing gorgeous sitting room furniture because the plot is at a standstill.

   Even Fleming's novels went through a metamorphosis. Casino Royale, Live and Let Die, Moonraker, Diamonds are Forever, and From Russia With Love were not overly inundated with long detail. Doctor No and Goldfinger started to get into more detail, and On Her Majesty's Secret Service and You Only Live Twice had long paragraphs in tinier print that irritated the hell out of my eyes.

   The 1950s Bond novels tended to pit Bond against the Soviet secret service organization called SMERSH, with two exceptions. In the 1960s, the new enemy became SPECTRE, led by mega-villain Ernst Stavro Blofeld. SPECTRE was what many of the early Bond movies focused on and even rewrote from SMERSH material. And then came Roger Moore...and I don't want to talk about that...at least not in this article.

   In 1968, British author Kingsley Amis, fascinated by Bond, wrote his own Bond novel called Colonel Sun. I just finished this book and I have to say...meh!

   I picked up a copy at my favorite local thrift store months ago and just recently decided to delve into it. Now, this is the only Amis book I have ever read, so I have nothing to compare this book to except Fleming novels...particularly the SPECTRE entries in terms of long paragraphs I can do without. Thankfully, the story went only 194 pages.

   One thing I can say for Amis is that he had done his research, specifically on Bond's superior name M and M's domestic staff at him home Quarterdeck, as they were featured briefly in On Her Majesty's Secret Service 5 years previously. 

   The plot is a bit odd, but worthy of transformation into a movie. In fact, it would not amaze me if elements of the book were already part of other films. The basic idea is that M has been kidnapped by Colonel Sun Liang-tan and his men and taken to a Greek Island. Sun had intended to grab Bond as well, but Bond foiled that plot. After consulting with his higher-ups using a planted clue, Bond deduces that M was taken to Greece and once there makes contact with Greek blooded but Communist-leaning Ariadne Alexandrou who is supposed to take him to Soviet friends but not for evil purposes. In short time, Bond and Soviet Major Gordienko form an uneasy truce before Gordienko is killed. After Bond and Ariadne recruit the help of her father's old comrade Niko Litsas, they come to Sun's fortress on Vrakonisi, a Greek Island, where a Soviet detente gathering is happenig. Sun and Nazi von Richter intend to kill everyone at the gathering and pin the blame on M and Bond.

   Bond, as well as Ariadne and Litsas, is eventually captured by Sun's people and, after a brief reunion with M, is taken to a basement to undergo physical and psychological torture performed by Colonel Sun himself. This part of the book to the climactic ending is the most readable...and it is only about 30 pages, but at least the action is palpable. The torture described is gruesome and I was amazed that Bond did not suffer permanent damage from it...but this IS Bond! Litsas sees to von Richter's demise while Bond first stabs Colonel Sun and later kills him. At the end, Bond is offered a medal by the Soviets, which he must refuse. Like with other Bond girls, he and Ariadne vow to spend time with each other when they can. This is a pattern in Bond books...by the next one, the previous book's Bond girl left him. As the next Bond book was Gardner's  1981 Licence Renewed, we never hear of what happened with Ariadne.

   Ariadne Alexandrou is fiercely passionate of Greek legend and history...and probably the most erotically described Bond girl of all time. Put into context of Bond's tragically short-lived marriage, Bond completely gives himself to her, damn the consequences. James Bond was already world-weary by 1963, tired of the hopeless pursuit of Blofeld and in 1964 when he found Blofeld, he strangled his enemy to death, and in 1965 was temporarily brainwashed to think he was a Soviet assassin assigned to kill M. 

   I appreciate what Amis is trying to do here, showing Bond as a quite seasoned agent who is less active than he once was, taking many an opportunity to take a round of golf. In some way, his way with women has not changed, but he is the wiser for his experience, falling almost happily into Ariadne's clutches, knowing it was going to happen one way or the other.

   As for Colonel Sun himself, he appears to be a Chinese version of Blofeld, waxing philosophical when performing torture. The scene in which Bond undergoes this agonizing torture almost seems like it should have been in You Only Live Twice shortly before his swordfight with Blofeld and then strangling him to death. Sun is evil, and yet at the end his emulation of the Marquis de Sade is revealed to not have the satisfactory feel he expected and he even apologized to Bond for this failure before dying. Sun is in fact a recreation of SPECTRE in terms of a third party trying to destroy the other world powers.

   For a one-off attempt at a Bond story, Amis did ok. It was like he had an idea he had to run with so he could get to other literary inspirations. I know that feeling well. Sadly, there was no 1970s literary representation of James Bond, leaving fans to deal with....Roger...Moore! As much as I dig the last name, no thank you!