Batcomputer in My Belfry Part 4

Sometimes things should end. Gracefully. With dignity. Just float away without ceremony.

Like the McLean Burger.

Disco

The Virtual Boy

Bell bottoms

The New Coke

Pauly Shore

Not so with Batman.

It started out so well, starting a national phenomenon with the spirit of the mid 1960s that could not be matched by anyone with maybe the exception of the Beatles.

You could only hear the Riddler's giggle, Joker's laugh, Penguin's cackle, and Catwoman's purr so many times! Add to that Robin's litany of "Holy---, Batman!, ad hoc Bat inventions, and so on. Add to that the 2-night commitment to watch both parts of the week's story.

And yet the show was not ready to die just yet. Well, maybe the show was, but the producers weren't.

In the spirit of, "Let's try this, Beavis", they huddled over what I can only assume was a buffet of cocktails to prop up the show more.

First move: cut the show to just Thursday.

Add in Batgirl.

Wait, we can afford her? Sure we can because Madge Blake is getting too ill to play Aunt Harriet.

And now Alfred will have yet another secret to hold, making his therapist richer.

The Batgirl concept was actully alluded to in the final week of season 2, where Commissioner Gordon mentions his daughter Barbara is coming home.

Yes, Barbara Gordon apparently was infatuated with Batman enough to want to be like him. In the episodes, Batgirl and Robin had some cute moments, as did Barbars Gordon and Bruce Wayne. There seemed to be a romantic air between them when they were alone.

They came up with a Batgirl theme, even played with lyrics a couple of times.

However, the formula now seemed even more broken because if there was a 2-part story, the viewer had to wait a week. However, most stories were a 1 episode package.

Julie Newmar was off doing other projects, so Catwoman was recast with singer Eartha Kitt. Whatever flirtatious sexual byplay was going on between Catwoman and Batman was completely gone. Hey, Batgirl was there, so who needs Catwoman?

Frank Gorshin made one appearance as the Riddler, an ok episode, and the scene of him and Batman in the boxing ring was pretty funny.

Cesar Romero and Burgess Meredith stayed faithful and each made four episodes. The Joker and Batman on a surfboard episode was probably that season's best, and yes it was pretty funny. The Penguin started the season by kidnapping Barbara Gordon and trying to force her to marry him...and then we find out she's Batgirl. Penguin's pairing with Lola Lasagne (Ethel Merman) was fairly dumb and did not need to be a 2 parter.

Cliff Robertson as Shame came back for a two parter that was not too bad, actually better than his season two story.

Vincent Price as Egghead came back but was always paired with Anne Baxter who was now playing Olga, Queen of the Cossacks, completely a campy character and she looked like she had a lot more fun here than as Zelda. They gave a one parter and a two parter.

Victor Buono came back for two 1 parters as King Tut. He was fun but definitely played for the silliness now. It fit the season so well anyway with its faster pacing.

Of course, we were introduced to a few new villains along the way.

Milton Berle made two 1 parters as Louie the Lilac, a flower-obsessed gangster type. Silly, made for kids. As an adult I find these two episodes pretty dumb. Then again, I never found Uncle Miltie that funny but it might be a Gen X thing.

Joan Collins, long before Dynasty, made an appearance as the Siren, whose high-pitched tone made men obey her...though females like Batgirl were immune. A 1 episode story, very silly, and forgettable.

There was a 3-parter in this season as well, and for the life of me I cannot piece together why aside from a lack of good ideas. The villains were singer Rudy Vallee as Lord Marmaduke Ffogg and Glynis Johns as Lady Penelope Peasoup. The concept was that the Euopean city of Londinium had a string of robberies that their incompetent police commissioner could not solve, so EVERYONE TAKES A CRUISE TO LONDINIUM, AND I MEAN EVERYONE INCLUDING GORDON AND O'HARA! Ludicrous right? Add to that a special Batcave being built for Batman when he arrived. And this travesty went for 3 weeks!

Next we have a curveball on women's liberation. Feminist icon Nora Clavicle (played by Barbara Rush) effectively gets rid of  (fires) Commissioner Gordon and installs women in key postions and herself as police commissioner. Of course, this plot is entirely criminal: takes out a ten million dollar insrance policy on the city and plans to destroy the city with mechanical mouse bombs. The Dynamic Trio play Pied Pipers and flute the mice to the waterfront to explode in the river.

Now, this next one is actually up there with Joker's surfing gag. Ida Lupino and her husband Howard Duff star as Dr. Cassandra Spellcraft and Cabala, respectively. Cassandra is an alchemist who has a pill to make anyone including herself and Cabala, invisible. When they do a count down, they do it rhythmically and Cabala snaps to the rhythm, making them fairly endearing. They also flatten the Dynamic Trio into 2 dimensional carbooard cutouts and then break, get this, Riddler, Joker, Penguin, Catwoman, Egghead, and King Tut (stunt doubles, not their usual players) out of jail. In the final fight, the trio are pummeled by the invisible villains but then turn out the lights to make the odds a bit more even.

Finally we have a weak story, very much like the Siren episode. Zsa Zsa Gabor as Minerva, a spa owner who has a machine (disguised as a special massage) that gets rich men's rich secrets out of their heads, making Minerva rich. Guest starring as a henchman here is William Smith as Adonis...before he became a high profile performer in TV and movies, usually as a tough villain.

And that wraps this strange season up. Now, it was not all bad as I've indicated. The fight scene onomatopoeia was brighter and flashier this season, and each story end revealed who the villain would be in the next story. After this season, ABC canceled the series, but NBC expressed interest in taking over. However, the Batcave set had already ben demolished, so NBC said, screw it!

I do own the entire series on DVD, for the entirety has its sense of fun and nostalgia, even season 3. When it aired on the local indie in Philadelphia every summer, it would play two sequential stories Monday through Thursday and a 1-episode Batgirl story on Friday. 

When the series began airing on cable (The Family Channel for a couple of years and then FX), there were notable episode cuts to make for ad time. MeTV restored full episodes later on. 

Whether it's one of my favorite stories or not so favorite, I will always enjoy a Batman episode, just part of my life!

Batcomputer in My Belfry Part 3

 Ah the smell of freshly baked bread is such a brain massage, much like freshly brewed coffee.

However, that freshness can turn into staleness quite fast.

A fresh concept like Batman in 1966 took the nation by storm and by the time the first season of 17 two-part stories was over, the public was wanting more.

Well, they got it. A whole new season going from fall of 1966 to early spring 1967. And by the time that season was done, the freshness, the novelty, was gone.

It wasn't right away, though. 

In the summer of 1966, a Batman movie had been released to theatres. I have that movie on disc, it's pretty good. They got Frank Gorshin, Cesar Romero, Burgess Meredith and, because Julie Newmar was not available, Lee Meriwether together to form a quartet of villains to fight. Some new music was produced that would be used in the new TV season, not to mention some new tech like the Bat boat ant Bat copter.

Some new things with the new season not associated with the movie as well. With the sound effect words, instead of a yellowish word in the foreground of the scene, now the words were in various colors against various colored backgrounds, which was apparently cheaper. This is the first season:

This is the second season:

Midway through the season the producer replaced the recap of the first part episode with a short scene showing the dilemma Batman and Robin were currently in before the opening animation. It actually helped to make a little more time for the plot to unfold.

Also, a device introduced in season 1 was highly expanded: the celebrity popping out of the window to speak to our heroes for a moment. Dick Clark, Sammy David Jr., Santa Claus, Colonel Klink, and Edward G. Robinson among others showed up.

And then came the villains!

I have to say the winner of the best season 2 stories has to go to Julie Newmar as Catwoman. She occupied a sixth of the season, even teaming up with a new villain, Sandman (Michael Rennie) for one story. My favorite story with her, however, was when her assistant Pussycat (Lesley Gore) drugged Robin to be evil. In pretty much all of the Catwoman stories, there is some flirtation between her and Batman, giving both characters some more depth. By season three, with Newmar being replaced with Eartha Kitt, that dynamic was completely gone.

Another repeat is the Penguin. One of my all time favorite stories of the series had Penguin and Batman campaigning for mayor of Gotham City. Another good one was Penguin trying to go back to prison to get in contact with an expert forger. He tried everything, but when he finally succeeded, the forger was paroled! He was later more of an assistant to the Joker in two parts of a 3 part story. Then he got his own 3 part story teaming up with Marsha Queen of Diamonds. That was not one of his better stories and he closed his involvement in season 2 after that.

Then we have the Joker, who made only 1 story in fall of 1966 but then got that 3 parter mentioned, in early 1967, a story involving signs of the zodiac as the basis of his scheme.Two other stories with the Joker came, one getting control of the Gotham National Bank and the other involving opening an art school. During the last story, Joker was becoming less of a master criminal and more of a spoiled whiner, a theme that would continue into the final season.

Oh, and then there was the one Riddler story, with a catch. Frank Gorshin was not available so the producers snagged John Astin to play him. He fit the Riddler outfit well, and actually did a good job in my opinion, the one flaw being that he couldn't do the high pitched laugh. As I'm a John Astin fan anyway, I'm prejudiced. As his role as Gomez Addams had been finished in 1966, Astin was expanding into villain territory. He also did a turn as a Russian villain on The Wild Wild West at about the same time.

Another repeat was David Wayne as the Mad Hatter. In this one, he manages to radioactively contaminate Batman's cowl, then trap him and Robin into a fluoroscope chamber. The second part fist fight climax is my favorite in the series. Batman and Robin climb a water tower to meet up with Mad Hatter and his men for a fairly long battle with the fight music from the movie playing. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BNl8fEJm684&list=FLUaz0NExtmJa9dRMXNWBvEg&index=142

This particular music piece would serve as the fight music for 6 more stories, though not consecutively, before reverting back to what I refer to as "Batmusic".

Of course, Victor Buono returned for 2 more King Tut stories. These were always a hoot to watch. The second story also starred Lee Meriwether as a love interest of Bruce. Meriwether had played Catwoman in the previous summer's theatrical film.

Now, one more repeat in terms of character happened, though 2 different actors played him in season 2. Mr. Freeze, brilliantly portrayed by George Sanders early in season 1, was either not available or chose not to repeat the role. In came famous director Otto Preminger with a bald head and red thick eyebrows. For some reason he kept using the word "wild" as a responsive interjection to a comment or situation. Not my favorite Mr. Freeze by any means. However, in the last story of the season, Eli Wallach stepped into the role. If you're fond of the mustache-twirling villain type, Wallach pulled it off quite well, and he was clearly having a good time with it, even though he had no mustache. 

With that, we have a lot of new and one-time villains in season 2. A few we can be grateful showed up for just one story!

First up is Art Carney as the Archer, a Robin Hood-themed villain claiming to fight for the poor but really aiming to enrich himself and his gang. Now, I love seeing Art Carney's work. Aside from his fame as Ed Norton, he put in some great dramatic roles later on, particularly in Harry & Tonto(1974). A Batman villain, he was not.

Second is Walter Slezak as Clock King. This one worked, a European villain obsessed with anything involving time. There was something about European actors as Batman villains that just clicked. The cliffhanger had our heroes in a giant hourglass with sand coming down to drown them. Clock King had a pretty cool rhythmic theme made for him, too bad he did not repeat!

The next one was for one word unique: Van Johnson as the Minstel. I'd seen him in other roles, particularly as Steve Maryk in The Caine Mutiny. He was not generally a villainous sort, so this role was surprisingly fun. The Minstel's goal was to extort a thousand a week from each member of the Gotham Stock Exchange to ensure the stock prices were correct. He also love to play the lute and sing short songs to taunt his foes, especially Batman and Robin.

And then there was Ma Parker, played by Shelley Winters, just her type of villainous role to relish. Modeled after famous criminal Ma Barker, Ma Parker led her sons and neglected daughter on a crime spreee, designed to get them into prison so they can run a crime empire form behind bars. This story was written by famous mystery scribe Henry Slesar, famous for penning many soap opera storylines, particularly on my favorite show The Edge of Night from 1968-83.

Probably the most famous creation from season 2 was Vincent Price as Egghead. Egghead prided himself on being quite intelligent and had a high bald dome of a head. His scheme was to kidnap all of the rich men of Gotham City so that they would not be able to deliver pelts as "rent" to Gotham City's true owner Chief Screaming Chicken to renew the city lease. Kind of convoluted, but by then so was the series already. Vincent Price would make 3 more appearances as Egghead in season 3, though as more of a sniveling coward.

All right, here come two really convoluted baddies! And they are played by the same man! Liberace was tapped to play brilliant concert pianist Chandell, as well as his mobster brother Harry. As Chandell, he was playing himself really, while donning a harsh (and forced) voice to play Harry. The scheme was for Chandell to woo Aunt Harriett and then kill Bruce and Dick so that he could pay off Harry, since Harry was blackmailing his brother for using an automated player piano as a White House Dinner due to an injured hand. What is also weird about this story is that the usual Batpole gimmick was not used. Bruce and Dick were off doing separate things (Bruce camping and Dick dating). Plus, in this part of the season, there area few episodes where Commissioner Gordon is lamenting that they seem to be calling on Batman a lot. If I did not know any better, I'd think it was a signal that the bread was getting stale.

Holy off-type role, Batman! There was also Cliff  Robertson as the bad yet cowardly cowboy Shame. Definitely a western theme to this story, albeit quite cheesy. Not one of my favorites. Yet, he returned for season 3 in a two-parter. Liek Art Carney, I really like Cliff Robertson, he was an amazing actor, but not exactly a Batman villain type. Now, a real western villain on a show like Gunsmoke I could see.

Carolyn Jones as Marsha Queen of Diamonds was a bit off as aconcept, though she did a great job playing a not quite evil female charmer aiming to marry Batman. The byplay between her and Marsha's hag aunt played by Estelle Winwood was fun to watch.

The next one I have some fond memories of: Maurice Evans as the Puzzler. It was originally going to be a Riddler story but as Frank Gorshin was not free to do it, the producers created a new bad guy. If you enjoy Maurice Evans on his Bewitched appearances, then this one is even more enjoyable. The window celebrity in this one is Santa Claus, as it aired close to Christmas 1966. I remember first seeing this one in Michigan in 1980 while we were there for Christmas, so it fits. The puzzler was devious and not above trying to kill the Dynamic Duo using a never-landing hot air balloon, but he also possessed humility when defeated. He was also fond of quoting (and misquoting) Shakespeare.

Michael Rennie as Sandman was supposed to be a stand-alone villain. Actually, the producers had another villain and actor in mind, but as Julie Newmar was supposed to be up in the rotation, so that actor (Robert Morley I believe) bowed out and Michael Rennie came forward. Rennie was a fairly stiff and stoic actor, but the story was fairly fun, though not one of the season's strongest.

The 1966-67 season premiered a one season wonder featuring crusading hero the Green Hornet, aided by his butler Kato.In reality the Green Hornet was Britt Reid, a  wealthy newspaper publisher. THe show was produced by the same folks who made Batman so it was decided they had to be together once. The solution was to have Green Hornet and Kato on Batman as "Visiting Heroes" Great, so who is the baddie? Well, it seems both Batman and Green Hornet are after a mssing valuable stamp called the Gotham Gothic, minted by the father of Bruce and Britt's love interest Pinky Pinkston (Diane McBain). PInky owns the stamp factory, but it is run by the corrupt Colonel Gumm, played by Roger C. Carmel. This was quite the crowded story with a lot going on, but the irony was that since Green Hornet and Kato were viewed as villains (as they associated with criminals to take them down), there would have to be a showdown. Sure  enough, in the part 2 climax, all 4 fight Gumm and his men and each other...Batman and Green Hornet trade blows as do Robin and Kato...as Kato was played by Bruce Lee, it was unlikely that Robin would actually win, and indeed both battles were a draw, though Gumm and his men were arrested.

The final original villain in season 2 was Miss Tallulah Bankhead as Black Widow, an older woman who did not come off so mcuh as evil but velvety and clever and entering some senility. A charming performance, actually. Black Widow's MO was robbing banks and hypnotizing bank tellers into giving in to her gentle demands. This was Miss Bankhead's final performance.

Aside form the regulars, we had a lot of original villains, some of whom clicked and others did not. Whatever the result, by the end of the seaosn, the Batmania was wearing off. Plus, it was a lot of work making 60 episodes for one season.It was costing a lot of money as well. The solution? Cut the show to once a week for season 3, but add one more hero...

Batcomputer in My Belfry part 2

 

Summer of 1981, 1982, 1983...really about 5 or 6 summers in a row, WTAF channel 29 in Philadelphia aired Batman reruns ritually, starting around Memorial Day and ending just before Labor Day...they knew when school was about to end and when most everyone began. Also when we went to Michigan, WXON 20 always seemed to have it scheduled in the mornings. 

Batman was a show I took seriously in watching, particularly the fistfights. I also loved the music...a foreshadowng of my interest in TV/movie instrumentals.

I last talked about the structure of the first season which first aired in the winter and spring of 1966, and covered the first story which featured the Riddler.

The next week featured Burgess Meredith's first Penguin story. This to me was actually the loosest and weakest of the first season, though Burgess Meredith immediately established himself as a strong regular go-to villain who would pop up regularly throughout the series. The weakness here was the lack of a solid criminal scheme, rather the Penguin wanted Batman and Robin to "plan" it for him. Still the opening theme was not quite complete with its sound effect but was making progress.

And then we have the following week with the introduction of the Joker, the second most regular villain, featuring Cesar Romero as the "clown prince of crime". Unlike the Penguin's first foray, the Joker's was strong, albeit with some twists and turns as he adapted to Batman's actions. At the climax of the second part, the Joker threatens to behead Batman and Robin if a ransom is not paid. This episode also featured a slightly different Bat fight piece that was used only once more (in the next week's first parter in fact).

Note: on older rerun copies, Cesar Romero's signature mustache was not clearly seen, but remasters show it quite plainly.

Also, we see from these first 3 episodes alone that the villains are quite ready to murder our heroes and often gruesomely at that.

And then comes one of my favorites: Instant Freeze/Rats Like Cheese. Mr. Freeze as played here by George Sanders is a strong villain whose main goal is revenge on Batman. He is not physically notable in terms of makeup. In fact he looks like an ordinary older man who has to don an astronaut-like suit with cold air jets to keep him alive when he goes out. Otherwise, he lives in a mountain hideaway with an interesting device. He can control certain parts of a room's temperature to accomodate his henchmen and butler with 76 degrees of warmth, those sections shown in red while Mr. Freeze's personal cold domain is shown as a grayish blue, cool effects for 1966 (pun intended as always). I think what makes this story neat is how "cold" George Sanders plays it. Very serious, very threatening, and with Sanders's deep voiced English accent, he made this 2-episode story a bit dramatic like the pilot.

Note: Mr. Freeze would appear twice more, all with different actors portraying him. To me, this was the darkest and therefore best.

And then came a really strange and probably the most poignant of Batman stories: Zelda the Great. Zelda, as played by the late great Anne Baxter, was not a villain at heart, but rather committed thefts out of necessity to help pay the man who creates all of her tricks and illusions, an Albanian genius named Eevol Ekdol (played by character actor Jack Kruschen). There is no real climactic fistfight here, though the cliffhanger is Aunt Harriet being tied up and suspended over a vat of boiling oil. As it is revealed that Dick Grayson went to see Zelda when he was a young boy, the tragic story of a revealed fraud adds to the drama. This is probably a bit darker than the premiere and the most unusual story of the series. 

That was the first ten episodes so far. And with that, we now enter the cycle of favorite villain repeats with some newbies shoved in here and there.

The Riddler as played by Frank Gorshin would appear in three more stories in this season: A Riddle A Day Keeps the Riddler Away/When  The Rat's Away, The Mice Will Play, The Ring of Wax/Give 'Em The Axe, and Death in Slow Motion'The Riddler's False Notion. All were pretty strong stories with good cliffhangers. Ring of Wax introduced a definitive "Riddler Theme" in terms of music when he and his gang are breaking into a library vault with a wax solvent. The last story had a silent movie caper theme that was pretty fun to watch.

As for The Penguin, he made up for the somewhat weak introduction with The Penguin's Gone Straight/Not Yet He Ain't and Fine Finny Fiends/Batman Makes the Scenes. These two stories highlight even more the Penguin's arrogance and overinflated sense of self worth. This quality never went away in the series. The laugh that Burgess Meredith created came out of his cough from smoking.

The Joker followed up form his strong start with The Joker Goes to School/He Meets His Match, The Grisly Ghoul, and The Joker Trumps an Ace/Batman Sets the Pace. In the first story, the Joker decides to make high school students corrupt from giving them a false sense of easy living. The cliffhanger here was neat, attaching the Dynamic Duo to a rigged slot machine that would deliver killing jolts of electricity when the machine stopped at 3 lemons. Another slightly dark moment comes when Joker attempts to kill his moll, cheerleader Susie when she talks too much to Dick Grayson. Killing a teenage girl, not cool dude! In the last story, Joker is himself and also posing as a visiting fat maharajah who is being held for ransom by Joker. The fight scene where Batman rips out all of the stuffing from Joker's maharajah suit is pretty funny. Not one weak Joker story here.

And now we come to some one-offs, three of which will appear in the next season.

First up is David Wayne as the Mad Hatter (real name Jervis Tetch). I've seen David Wayne give some interesting performances, some mildly comic, others quite dramatic, but he lets loose a bit here as a quite quirky villain with a hat that contains a device that shoots a mesmerizing beam to its victims. Like Mr. Freeze, Mad Hatter is out for revenge, in this case on all of the jurors who found him guilty at his trial, plus Batman for testifying against him. Other than the hat, David Wayne was provided with thick upraised eyebrows and a long horizontal mustache. Quite murderous and quite quirky, he might have been the unintentional first "fun" villain. He would appear once more in season 2.

Next is, get this...? as False Face.Yes, that was how the producers billed him in the first part and the beginning of the second part. However, by the closing credits of the second part, it was revealed that character actor Malachi Throne was False Face. Wait, you might say, WHO? You are right, Malachi Throne was not on the same tier as Cesar Romero, Burgess Meredith, or even Frank Gorshin (a relative newbie compared to the other two). The story itself was good, a master of disguise making himself look like anybody he had just met. As a character actor, Throne was actually a good choice. However, his main look was a plastic mask when not posing as one of the other characters (O'Hara, Gordon, a cowboy)

In one part one scene, Throne is seen as himself (still as False Face but impersonating a bank guard). The cliffhanger here was almost old movie serial-ish, with Batman and Robin being tied up on train tracks. In many ways, this was a weak entry in season one but only because of that cheap Halloween store mask.

And then we come to a true legend: Julie Newmar as Catwoman, hands down Batman's sexiest enemy with whom he would later have a bit of a flirtatious relationship with, even when she was trying to kill him. More on that when I come to season 2. Here, at her most villainous, she kidnaps Robin and forces Batman to do battle with a tiger. Catwoman's goal is always theft of something priceless, often cat-related like this story. And like in the future episodes, she falls to an uncertian fate at the end, but those nine lives...

And then we have another future appearance character: Victor Buono as King Tut. I always loved the backstory here: a professor of Egyptology who got hit on the head and believed he was King Tut, albeit an evil and conniving rendition of the ancient pharaoh. Even his henchmen understand their boss is a little off but they see he's smart and has a possible future as a gang leader. King Tut was definitely created to be a fun villain. Note that I said he was CREATED, which means he was the first villain on the show to not originate in the comics.

Finally, we top it off with another made-for-TV creation that did not originate in the comics...Roddy McDowall as the Bookworm, one other English actor this season. This episode starts a bit violently with Commissioner Gordon seemingly shot to death and falling off a suspension bridge. It is a ruse to steal the Batmobile when Batman arrives to investigate Gordon's "murder:. The Bookworm's M.O. is stealing evil plots from books as he cannot write anything original himself. The cliffhanger is Robin tied to the Gotham Clock Tower. Roddy McDowall is the strong part of this story with some interesting moments including a giant cookbook that traps in the duo and fills with hot steam to kill them. Not the season's best or worst, but it went to show that some villains created for the show were clever and some, like Bookworm, were one-offs, a pattern to be highly continued in season 2.

And there we have the first season. As I noted in part 1, there's nothing like a fresh loaf of bread right from the oven. That's how good the first season was. However, those fresh loaves can get stale fast and in part 3 we will examine that unfortunate transition in season 2.

Batcomputer in My Belfry part 1

I confess, I am a huge fan of the old style of many things; music, movies, and TV. I get movies but even there the number of remakes of certain characters has gotten ridiculous!

Particularly with Batman!

When it comes to Batman, I have been and always shall be a fan of the old 1966-68 TV show, even as I poke fun at it in my later years...although the show did that for itself almost from the beginning...almost.

Let's go to the beginning:

Season 1 (1966)

By far, I believe this season was the strongest. The concept was fresh and it met the era perfectly. It was the mid 1960s and things were gettin' kind of groovy.

The freshness is a key strength here, like a loaf of newly baked bread...things can get stale fast (by season 2, quite stale)

As Batman premiered in January of 1966, one might presume it was a midseason replacement. Not so, it was just that many of ABC's new shows in the fall of 1965 fell flat. Batman was originally slated to begin the fall of 1966.

The producers took the comic books as their source, even if some of those villains had long faded from the comic book stories. Added to that were classic onomatopoeia to fistfight scenes.

The Batman theme by Neil Hefti was adapted to be within the show during those fights or drives in the Batmobile to police headquarters in Gotham City or even the short trot from the Batphone to the Batpoles.

Now, here is the key to the show's success in that first season. There was often a sense of drama or even melancholy in a few episodes, much like the comics. Remember, the comics were not funny, they played out as adventure that kids really got into, always looking forward to the next issue. I once had a Batman comic from the early 80s where Batman and Robin were battling a villain named Crazy Quilt. Even then, the story was engaging.

Adding on to the novelty of the show, the actors/actresses cast as the villains were not doing it because it was "cool" or "hip", they were doing an acting job. 

Next was the Wednesday-Thursday cliffhanger setup and resolution, an easy way for ABC to fill 2 timeslots instead of 1. So when one sees there were 34 episodes in winter/spring 1966, it was really just 17 weeks, but what a production schedule! The following season would be even more brutal with 60 episodes (29 stories)!

And then there were the main actors. I believe Adam West will always be legendary as Batman beyond his passing 9 years ago. Burt Ward was a kid getting into the Batlife without the benefit of age to allow him to invest his paycheck wisely while he had it, not understanding the high would not last very long. Neil Hamilton as Commissioner Gordon did what Jack Webb had done for Joe Friday: played it straight. And it worked! Stafford Repp put on a nice Irish accent for his Chief O'Hara even though he was from San Francisco!

Madge Blake as Aunt Harriett was actually derived from Aunt Harriett in the comics...not a buffer to dispel any "queer" rumors of just dynamic the heroic duo really were!

And then there was Alan Napier as Alfred, the coke bottle glasses wearing faithful butler who held so many secrets I wonder if he (Alfred) went to a shrink to keep his mind straight.

One more thing before I delve into episodes: the cops on the show were depicted as inept many times, depending too heavily on Batman and Robin to solve their problems. However, Gotham City was a metropolis with metropolitan problems, and when the bizarre villains weren't threatening oblivion, regular criminals were surely out there for them to handle. However, regular villains were for regular cop shows.

All Bat-righty, on to the episodes!

And no, I won't delve too deeply into them, there are books that handled that quite well. I used to have one, now I regret getting rid of it. However, this first season was quite special in its newness, so episode quality and villain choices deserve some focus. In this entry I will focus on just the premiere story.

Hi Riddle Diddle/Smack In The Middle: the premiere episode pair was in many ways the weakest of the season and in other ways the strongest. The animated opening sequence was lacking in its sound effects, just straight music. William Dozier wasn't quite as over the top in his narration as he would be in coming episodes. And this was the pilot...often pilots do not get aired but the series was rushed to production. The Riddler was an interesting choice to open the series, as he only had a few comic appearances before the series came about. Frank Gorshin will forever be identified with that high-pitched giggle that made the Riddler special.

The opening to the first episode is at the World Fair in Gotham City with some light music playing over crowd scenes. I mention this because if one watches the final 1968 episode with Batgirl on TV and then the series restarts, it is a trip! No rushing to action, we are gently led in to the Moldavia display and the exploding cake...a whole 40 seconds before anyone talks. We then see a riddle floating down with the riddler music riff playing before it cuts to police headquarters.

There are a lot of cops in that headquarters scene, in later episodes all we see are Gordon and O'Hara deciding how soon is too soon to use the red phone to call Batman. However, the formula is established: the Riddler is deemed too big for real cops, everyone looks at the red phone, and Gordon makes the call. 

Alfred answers and says the boss will be right there. Cut to Bruce Wayne engaged in a conference with some civic group (later it will be him and Dick engaged in some normal human behavior). Alred discreetly somes to Bruce and whispers that there is a call and Bruce collects Dick and off they go to the study. Bruce listens to Gordon, lists the metal bard head to flip the switch that opens a bookcase to reveal two poles that he and Dick rush to. Cut to opening music animation.

The plot in general is that the Riddler seems to want to frame Batman into a lawsuit where his real identity will be exposed. However, the Riddler really wants Batman and Robin out of the way so he can steal the huge Moldavian treasure of jewels and valuable postage stamps in a large stuffed beast. The Riddler uses his moll Molly to pretend to be Robin to infiltrate the Batcave and kill batman. However, he is on to her and she tries to escape but falls into the Batcave reactor...death in the first week! And then there was the climactic fistfight. The yellowish words like KAPOW and SPLAT appeared on the screen with every punch, kick, push, or solid object impact…sometimes overused here, but the comic motif was now established.

This episode pair is so comic book themed it is perfect! Aside from the Riddler's giggle, there was a lot of drama in this first story. Well, maybe not drama per se, but it was all so straightly played. Jill St. John was the first and only player to receive a "Special Guest" credit in the second act. Her character's death is mourned by Bruce at the end. Batman getting accidentally drunk and barred from driving to save Robin by the police was quite cool in its own way and it showed the Gotham cops to be of worth. Even though there were differences from the rest of the series in terms of the opening and story pacing, it works well to this day.

One more thing before I close: there is a sign a little past the Batcave opening that says "Gotham City 14 Miles" in almost every first part episode in the first 2 seasons. And as Batman just loves following the speed limit, it must be a 20-25 minute drive to downtown Gotham...so his promises of "We'll e right there, Commissioner" doesn't quite fly with me.

Next up: repeat performances and one-off villains

Handy Pamby

 Look, under the sink!

It's a whale!

It's a corpse!

No! It's Satan's handyman!

 OK, the thing people should know about me it that when it comes to fixing things or putting them together, I am much stronger in the assembly department. Usually when I put things together there is some form of instruction written in some broken form of English put together by two Himalayan sherpas and a Mensa yak. Even if I can't decipher it, I can just look at the crayon-drawn diagram to see how it all fits together...and by golly it generally stays intact.

There is one exception to my suspicious success in assemblage and that was Vicki's 3-wheel vehicle...yeah an adult tricycle. I am good at screwing things (hey, watch your dirty mind!), nailing things, gluing things and, if we're feeling really kinky, drilling holes. Hoewever, figuring out the brakes and gears assembly was a bit beyind my comprehension...plus there were a few basic mistakes in the directions. When that axon misfire happens, I put in a text to a guy named Darin. Darin is a friend who just seems to have the tools for and knowledge on and for everything, or at least for the specific problems I pose to him. He patiently guides me through the issue then proceeds to go at it himself because he can see I did not get some basic handyman training as a child.

Hold on there, Bryan. Didn't your father teach you these things?

Actually, yes. He tried. The problem was, as a kid I really showed no interest and, to practice some self-deprecation (Bryan yoga), I really showed little to no amount of physical strength or endurance in those early years for even thje simplest mechanics outside of holding utensils, so he stopped with the futility.

Even a girl I was seeing in the before-Vickie dating years said while I was trying to fix something that I didn't come off as a handyman. I took a little offense to that although I knew she was right.

At the time.

However, a mixture of time and situational necessity have helped to mold me into something a little more useful.

It is often not pretty and a trail of dead bodies were close to being a thing on a number of occasions.

Situation 1: When Natalie was in the second grade, she decided to see what would happen if she put kitty litter down her bathroom sink. Kid curiosity. Vickie was irate, not because of the deed but the feared result that our property management would have to call in a plumber and they'd see we had cats (we weren't supposed to). A couple of years earlier, there was a kitchen sink stoppage where a plumber HAD to be called in and the cats were reported and we were in danger of eviction if we did not get rid of them (we hid them at my brother in law's house for a bit until the heat cooled down). 

Not one to be reliving nasty history twice, I decided to see the plumbing setup. Hmm, get a bucket, unscrew both ends of the p trap, clean out p trap, screw it back in and voila! If I had known that two years previous, a lot of headache could have been avoided.

Situation 2: A year or so down the road, we had a fish tank and were in the process of maintenance when one of the ceramic figures we had in it fell into the kitchen sink and broke, jamming up our disposal. This time, I needed some help and good old Youtube DIY videos helped me to disassemble the unit so I could get inside and get out all of the shards. Sure enough, it worked, I reassembled it and we were good to go.

And then came things in the house, particularly Natalie's bathroom.

She has two sinks and even though she is older, some things just "happen" to fall into the drain. A few years ago, I just had to buy a new P trap for her left sink as it was totally rotted dout (much from the previous owners) and just this mornig I fixed up the right sink without any monetary purchase. It was pretty simple in both scenarios.

Other things I learned to do:

Change my own damn car windshield wipers.

Change the car air filter

Change the house air filter

Hell, I even learned to change my own car oil this winter with help from a colleague!

Somethings I am still not good at, like changing the innards of a toilet, aside from a new handle. 

All that said, I've come a long way, all things situation-dependent.

Will I depend on myself, DIY videos, or Darin?

7 times out of 10, myself, not a bad record for a guy who had to use a special 4-finger holed lefty scissors in Kindergarten 48 years ago.

To conclude, I advise to screw responsibly or have a responsible adult screw for you...again, clean that mind!

 

Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Taking a Cruise But Didn't Care To Ask, Part 3

Cruise

Exciting and steep
Come aboard
We're fleecing you
Yeah, cruise
Life's expensive reward
Let it sail, it rocks back and forth for you

Yes, my apologies to Jack Jones, but it seemed fitting!

In three days time, we had launched on our cruise ship, the Carnival Firenze, took an excursion to Catalina Island, and took a shorter trip (for me and Vickie anyway) to Ensenada.

And now we were on Day 4, which they call Sea Day, essentially dropping anchor (no I don't mean their pants...at least not that I saw) and sitting  for several hours.

For many, this was probably just another day of fun on the ship since several people did not explore Catalina or Ensenada, and that is ok. There are many things to do on board, not the least of which is eating and drinking. The leisure decks have pools, a ropes course, mini golf, an arcade, and basketball. If one wants to, they can just sit and look at the Pacific Ocean. If you're a desert rat like me, that last one is quite enjoyable.

For us, we partook in our final breakfast in the Michelangelo Dining Room, which was actually a brunch on Sea Day. We then went to see about a trivia game in one of the lounges. WOW WAS IT PACKED! The problem was not the excitement of the activity, but rather a lack of off-ship opportunities...all the rats were stuck on the floating ship. It seemed quite disorganized, so Vickie and I watched for a bit then went elsewhere.

Later on, we hit another trivia game which was better prepared, but as we were a team of 2, we got 4 out of 20. Not our best or worst.

After that was our final dinner on the ship, where I had an appetizer of frog legs (yum!) and seafood penne.

And then we went to see the ship's comedian perform. Vickie and I always love a good stand-up act and this guy was no disappointment. The material was definitely for 18+ of age. Later in the night, we went to the Lido Deck for a little late night snack.

And then came debarkation day.

It's funny how for several days, you're treated like a valued guest, but when it's time to go, THEY WANT YOU TO GO! All passengers were to be out of their rooms by 8:30 a.m. and off the ship no later than 10 a.m. No wonder, they were getting ready for the next voyage, which I believe was the weekend 3-day trip to Ensenada and back.

So, once again, we stood in long lines to get back into the USA officially. It was then a tale of 2 Uber trips to find the right bus depot in Long Beach to find the bus I reserved to take us to San Diego and the ANOTHER Uber to take us to my Dad's place. Natalie was anxious to get home, so after some pizza and telling our cruise tales, and getting a battery jump from AAA, we coffee'd and gassed uo and headed for home, arriving at 2a.m.

Some thoughts...

I know this is a world of long lines when there is food or fun involved, I need to stop be a curmudgeon on that stuff.

It's always a fun mystery to come back in the stateroom to see what towel origami was created by the staff and put on our freshly made bed.

The ship's layout was so intricate that even I was still a bit lost at times near the end. But that was ok, it created a daily sense of adventure.

It was expensive for sure, and took a whole year to pay off...but well worth it if you go only once in your life...we want to go again!

There was no drama...everyone was happy to be there and got along fine. The cruise was definitely a multi-cultural gathering. The United Nations could take notes and learn from this.

And finally there was a definite sadness upon returning. Our stateroom was practically home away from home and our time together was wonderful.

Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Taking a Cruise But Didn't Care To Ask, Part 2

 With no coffee in my body yet, I somehow feel inspired to talk about the next part of our 20 years together cruise.

To recap, with so much going on the day we embarked on the Carnival Firenze, Vickie and I just came back to our stateroom and slept after dinner, with me probably sleeping a bit more since I'd been up most of the previous day in excited anticipation of this adventure we'd been waiting for.

And then I awakened, feeling quite refreshed and ready for what our adventure had to offer. I got up, looked outside and got this sight!

Indeed, we were getting ready to dock at Santa Catalina Island! Now, I must confess, this is what I was most excited about in terms of excursions. I had heard of the island but never set sight on it other than photos. I got Vickie up, and we got dressed and went to the dining room for breakfast. 

Then we began our day's adventure with...ANOTHER LONG LINE!! Yes, as I said previously, The Love Boat's 9 seasons never delved into the hell of lines...just like game shows never talk about the taxes on cash and prizes. Luckily, this line moved fast. The ship does not actually dock at the island, but rather sits offshore and uses a local ferry company to take the ship's passengers to and from the island.

Also, anyone who knows me knows that I get just a little disoriented in a new place, particularly when I am not sure where north is. I was also slightly mistaken about where the island was. I had assumed that it lay just south of Santa Barbara when it actually lies about 30 miles south of Long Beach where we had embarked from, so we had not traveled far. 

The area we ferried to was called Avalon, on the northeastern part of Catalina, and wow, is it ever set up for cruise folk! All sorts of souvenir and clothing shops with fairly elevated prices awaited us. Of course, we had one huge advantage: we did not have much to spend for anything. Just paying for this cruise alone took a lot. However, we were not that poor and had enough for a gift for Natalie plus a nice fried seafood lunch along the pier. A sea pigeon absconded with one of my tartar sauce cups quite aggressively, just to keep the sense of adventure alive!

Afterward, we hit one or two more shops and then headed back to the Firenze. A little rest was needed before we got dressed up and attended the photo shoot we were scheduled to have. Now, I kind of knew where this was headed: a pricy sales pitch. We've been through them before when we used to do either family or just Natalie shoots at a Henderson studio for years. I will say the photographer was quite friendly and knew the poses she wanted us to do both inside and outside. 

Soon after, we headed to the dining room for a "formal dress" dinner. Not everyone was dressed in swank, but most were. Vickie opted for a glass of wine. Unlike the rum punches that were foisted on us the first day, this was decided upon by her so I had no objections. My dinner choice was salmon with a delicious asparagus cream sauce. We were even treated to a beautiful sunset over Catalina Island!

Afterward, it was back to the room for rest, it had been quite an exciting day...and I must say this was the best day of the whole trip. 

Of course, with any great day there sometimes follows the antithesis to that greatness, and in this case it was a day docked in Ensenada. Perhaps it was foreshadowed by the less than stellar sight outside our room that morning:

Yeah, shipping docks are not exactly a sight to behold, that is unless you ship things regularly and are excited to see a port.

Unlike the Catalina excursion, the Firenze docked right at the island, so we were able to just get off.

Oh, one thing I forgot to mention is the Sail and Ship cards we were given when our rooms were ready. These cards were our survival to access our rooms, purchase items on board, and get on and off the ship.

Okay...Ensenada, Mexico. If you have any knowledge of Mexico itself when it comes to American tourists, you know that there are NUMEROUS shops and citizens on the streets trying to peddle what they have to offer. I do remember in early 1997 when my dad was getting remarried, my the-borther in law and my dad's 2 brothers and I went to Tijuana and had a bachelor party without the bachelor in attendance. Back then, too, there were a lot of people selling candy on the streeets, Chiclets in particular. 

Helpful tip #5: Saying No or No, gracias is appropriate. Saying No, motherfucker! might get the point across stronger but could also get the hell beaten out of you.

Another thing is that Ensenada, like other Mexican tourist spots, has American businesses there. We saw Carl's Jr, McDonald's, and Starbucks. We stopped in Starbucks for a restroom visit and a chance to tap into some free wifi for a few.

Plus, Mexico is known to be cheaper for a lot of things that are expensive in America, particularly meds, no prescription needed. I've also heard dental work is cheaper.

I think we bought one magnet for my classroom, but that was it. We grabbed the bus back to our ship and got right on. Days later, I do wonder if any people who ate and drank in Ensenada had any issues.

After some lunch on the Lido deck, we just chilled for a while before heading to the top and getting in a round of miniature golf. It was only 9 holes, but still pretty fun. No scorecards. Above us was a ropes course, below was a basketball court, plus an arcade and set of waterslides. Fun for everybody, really!

Later on, we were subjected to the photo session's sales pitch. Most packages were over a thousand, but we decided on one photo of us for about $80. I felt bad for spending so little for all that hard work, but then again, I did not create the prices.

Overall, I think Ensenada day was not the best in terms of experience. Taking photos from the ship made it look much prettier by comparison, and for sure there are a lot of gorgeous parts of Mexico, lots of mountains and beaches near the coast. If you're in Sonora just south of Arizona, well, desert is desert. I know people often associate Mexico with drug cartels and human trafficking...and to just make a small political note that has no business being in this article...no more or less crime than in this country, I am sure.

Up next, part 3: day at sea and debarkation.

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