2020...The Review

 Well, to sum it up really quick...fuck this year! OK, I'm done.

Wait, what? You actually WANT me to go way back to one of the worst years in modern history that many people faced? Hey, do you reheat crappy food, too?

(sigh) All right, fine. Just remember, YOU asked for this, not me!

To be fair, the year should be separated into 2 distinct parts...the normal part and the pandemic part.

On my end of things, I was starting a weight loss contest at school, and went on a very low carb eating plan. Despite the oily hair and truly rancid breath at first,  the weight was coming off pretty well.

The normal part, was of course quite short, from January to mid March. Oh sure, there was talk of the Coronavurus and there were a ton of jokes made at its expense. Why? People joke about what they don't understand...and even better comedians know how to joke about what they DO understand...and make enlightening connections.

In those opening months, nobody thought much about it. As for me, I was teaching grammar and writing to 3 different classes every day, one of the worst set-ups for a grade level I ever experienced...and I am glad it was cut short.

In terms of politics, the first months were still about weeding out what was essentially a 20-contestant round of The Dating Game., a round that began the previous summer. There was so much buildup over who could topple Donald Trump in November of 2020. The bizarre twist of this was that he was impeached in January and was acquitted.. He was in fact pretty unstoppable despite the social media hype over his political demise.

We lost Kobe Bryant...and many mourned his passing more than the other folks who were aboard the flying machine. Fame is a bizarrely twisted thing.

Hollywood slimeball Harvey Weinstein was finally convicted of rape and sexual abuse. His many victims had some justice at last...but that doesn't repair soul damage.

And looming through all of this was the COVID 19 epidemic. People talked...people rumored...people fucking PANICKED!

And then March hit...and bit by bit the shit really did hit the fan. First up was the stock market crash. COVID was really having an effect as more cases were coming up. Meantime, I took my wife to Laughlin for her birthday. The next week, we scored for free tickets to see Billy Idol on March 14. There had been talk at work the day before whether schools were closing down, but no final word.

The final word hit on March 15 that we would be out through the middle of April. The first week we did nothing but sit and wait. That didn't bother me much, the rest felt good. 

What DID suck was what I call legal looting...meaning people were allowed to buy up as much water and toilet paper as they wanted. Really, the panic was scary and quite ridiculous. The mask wearing was recommended at first but not enforced. There were also more hired security guards standing in front of stores...just in case.

My weight loss had been 20 pounds by the time we were sent home. The trouble with being home with not a whole lot to do is that you tend to stress eat, even though I wasn't really stressed. More like bored off my ass. As the first week passed, we as teachers were told to just do review for the remaining 2 months, nothing new to teach at all. Plus, we had to make sure we made at least once a week contact with parents and students for attendance purposes. This went on from late March to mid-late May.

I decided that since we were in an emergency mode, I didn't want to style my hair anymore, so my wife gave me a crew cut in late April, and I razored the rest off. Been maintaining the baldness since. As I was giving assignments merely for attendance purposes and checking with parents, I didn't have a whole lot to do, so I got back on the jigsaw puzzle craze. Trouble was, a lot of other people felt the same way...and new puzzles got scarce. 

As we got into mid May, things calmed down a bit, and slowly toilet paper and water got restocked. We had bought a 5 gallon bucket of laundry detergent that was delivered...and we are still using it!

The stimulus checks came and we put ours to good supply use. The country was starting to relax...maybe a bit too much.

I finally had myself on a normal (as in low carb) eating plan again and began experimenting with different things. It was nice to be active in the kitchen!

In late May we had a drive thru graduation ceremony for the 5th grade on the school playground. It was perfect social distancing.

And then George Floyd was beaten by police....and like the Rodney King tragedy 29 years previous, people went apeshit and there was a wave of combined peaceful and violent protest. A local police officer in Vegas was shot by a civilian in early June. So now we had not only COVID to contend with but also social unrest on a different level. 

Plus, Joe Biden had become Trump's opponent in the upcoming election. It was like a choice between Denny's and IHOP. Not the 2 best breakfast choices, but when you're hungry and that's all there is at the next exit...

The summer of 2020...probably my best in a long time! We did not have the dough to travel, and there weren't a whole lot of places to go, anyway. So I walked. And walked and walked and walked! The walks started slowly and then built...from 3 to 4 to 5 to 6,7,8 mile jaunts, and then finally I did a 10 in July! It was probably a bit much but that was ok. I finally got my weight below 200 for the first time in years, and my clothes were hanging more on me. We got a few swims in also at the YMCA as well as at a friend's house, but really it was about the walks.

Then came murder hornets without Kato. Move on.

I lost an old and dear friend from my first school Tom Williams. It was a sad time in mid July, and I was honored to speak at her funeral, though sad and angered that only a few old colleagues came to pay respects.

In August Kamala Harris was nominated as potential VP to Biden. I had no opinion since she had no impact on me.

Then came the real distance learning for most of the nation. After some wasted time on learning one system via page design, we ended up using another system anyway. The sudden spike in internet usage caught the Internet/wifi providers in their bare asses. Come to think of it, the problem has remained though on a smaller basis.

The west coast was up in flames! Wonder if those hornets were involved?

I will say this about distance learning...if your heart is into your class and you want to make it work...it is not all that bad. You just have to expect some going in and out among your students as they have connection issues. Just takes patience.

We lost Ruth Bader Ginsburg and Eddie Van Halen within a month of each other...2 legends of 2 different ilks....yes I went to college, I am ALLOWED to use higher-level 3-letter words!

October brought us the debates sponsored by Satan...yep, IHOP vs Denny's all right! We also lost the grand quizmaster of Jeopardy...Alex Trebek! The quiz game show world will never be the same. We also lost legendary actor Sean Connery. There will never be a Bond like him...no will there be a sexier Scottish lisp again.

November brought a surprise or 2. First, the COVID rate was rising, and at an interesting rate in our district. Therefore it was determined that even teachers couldn't be at school alone, they had to suffer with their families. On the plus side, I turned a proud 48. On the political side, everything that was foreseen and warned about happened. Biden won the electoral and Trump fans went apeshit. They still are.

December brought a subdued Christmas spirit as COVID cases kept rising and the election results kept being challenged. Overall a pretty fast month.

Other deaths of famous people...and this year the deaths of many nonfamous people should also be respected...a tough year for many.

Honor Blackman (Pussy Galore in Goldfinger)

Wilford Brimley (actor)

Jeremy Bulloch...the original Boba Fett costume wearer

Edd "Cookie" Byrnes (actor)

Pierre Cardin (fashion designer)

Mary Higgins Clark (author)

Robert Conrad...famous for playing James West on The Wild Wild West...one of my favorite shows!

Mac Davis (singer)...rest in peace, sir, but I never got hooked on you.

Olivia de Havilland and Kirk Douglas...both at 104! That is a life!!

Brian Dennehy

Winston Groom (author of Forrest Gump)

Buck Henry (writer and comedian)

Terry Jones (Monty Python)

Tom Kennedy (game show host)

Hal Ketchum (country singer)

John Le Carré (author)

Jim Lehrer (TV newsman)

John Lewis (civil rights activist)

Johnny Nash (singer)...I hope he can see clearly now.

Fred 'Curly' Neal (Harlem Globetrotters)

Ken Osmond (Eddie Haskell)

Regis Philbin

Charley Pride

John Prine (singer)

David Prowse (the man in the Darth Vader costume)

Helen Reddy...she was woman!

Carl Reiner

Diana Rigg (played James Bond's only...and brief...wife)

Kenny Rogers

John Saxon (actor)

Jerry Stiller

Peter Tork (the quiet Monkee)

Max Von Sydow

Lyle Waggoner

Fred Willard

Bill Withers (singer)

Chuck Yeager (legendary pilot)

That was just a sampling, I know, and we lost many more.

In closing, 2020 could be heaven or hell, depending on where you stood in life. For me it was heaven surrounded by chaos. We can only hope that the hells of one year can evoke the heaven of the next.

A happy and blessed 2021 to all!