The 90s certainly took me places, both emotionally and geographically! Emotionally, I went from an early depression to better adjusted to trying to adapt to having my parents divorced. Geographically I went from Pennsylvania to West Virginia to San Diego to Rohnert Park. With that, let us roll into...
1996
I consider the true start to this year to be heading back up to Sonoma State...and this time it was a bit more permanent. I picked up my friend Rob Lander in the morning and we headed back up to school, listening to a lot of Doors and other classic rock. With him was his dad's camcorder, for which we had a fun idea that would come later.
Once back in school it was the same situation. We were hoping Ed would miraculously decide to stay home, but we were not that lucky. Scott was happy when he was in class or at work so he wouldn't have to deal with his roommate. Not all was bad, though. When the school's cable was working, we'd watch some Saturday morning cartoons or Beavis and Butthead. There had been a pretty good miniseries on earlier called Beatles Anthology, where after several minutes of documenting the member's childhoods, Rob comments, "Yeah yeah, now grow up and get cool!" I also watched The WiId Wild West at lunchtime every day...provided the cable was working.
Class wise, I had an odd schedule. I took master-class fiction-writing, dance for children (Karen and Kimberly took that, too, so we had a fun time there). My Hutchins classes were Anatomy of a Virtual COmmunity with Professor Kellogg, a pretty cool guy, Children Should Be Seen and Heard, and Science and Poetry with a legendary 60s activist named Mario Savio. I had a little trouble in there making some connections, but he pulled me through.
Despite those 14 credits, I seemed to have a lot of free time in the later part of the day. Free time, as we have previously learned about me, was not (and IS NOT) a healthy thing. As Rob was working in the university commons as a fry cook, he suggested I apply for a job. I did and got a part time position as a dishwasher. I must say that was pretty cool and I made some good extra dough from it.
All while this was going on, Scott, Rob, and I proceeded with making our movie. It wasn't exactly a fresh idea, pretty much a remake of the film I'd made with Derek and Zach 5 years earlier. It was fun, though, and we pulled in Karen, Kimberly, and even good ol Monkey Boy from across the hall. We filmed in the dorm and on location. The best scene was the fight scene between me and Rob up on Sonoma Mountain...so cheesy yet that's one of the fun things about college...you don't take yourself too seriously. Those who do lose out a lot!
I went to San Diego for Spring Break, but wasn't having much of a good time. Switching between households wasn't too much fun anymore...not that it was before! I was spending a little more time with my Dad and Becky, getting to know her better. I was starting to flaunt this to my mom and that was opening up some new tension between us. Once again, I look back at the past with a new eye... I do believe I was angry. I was actually angry at both of my parents, but my mom was the one who was getting targeted. I'd been called on that several times in the next few years.
After that less than mediocre visit, it was back to school to finish up the year and the movie. I do believe it was in this period that I threatened Ed's life over something he'd said to Kimberly, with whom I'd re-established a good friendship. It got him out of the apartment for the rest of the day and generally away from me for about a week.I had no complaints!
And then May came and Karen and Kimberly were graduating. Rob was coming back in the fall for one or two more classes, and Scott and I didn't want another year on campus. So we looked around and found a pretty decent apartment not far from school for an affordable price. We began moving in during the last week of school. I distinctly remember a rainy Friday when I'd been doing the dishwasher gig almost all day and then went home to the apartment and fell asleep. Scott and I later grabbed something to eat and went to see the Mystery Science Theater 3000 movie at the theater.
That summer I took a job on campus on the painting crew, repainting all of the dorms...early start and late afternoon finish. It was pretty good work. Around that time my friend Sarah and I got together once for twice but it was just good friendly conversation. I really liked her but the spark wasn't there.
I headed home again around the 4th of July, but not a whole week. It was a bit better than Spring Break, but San Diego wasn't home anymore. I really was just a visiting relative!
The rest of the summer was the same in terms of working. Scott and I took a drive one weekend up to Grant's Pass Oregon. Along the way we ate at a Denny's in Eureka and listened to his Time Life Guitar Rock tapes a lot. Coming back, we stopped at the Shasta Lake caverns, pretty neat as I recall. We also hung out at the ranch in Cloverdale a lot. In fact, we had grabbed the couch there earlier to get a couch for the apartment...one of those sofas you can sink into easily. We also had a nice routine of doing our lanudry at his Grandma June's house. Sometimes we would take her to the store. Whenever we visited, we would order from a company that delivered from an agreed set of restaurants...kind of an early form of Doordash or other modern delivery companies.
In the fall, Rob came back for his classes and pretty much camped out on the couch (which unfolded into a bed). He spent a lot of his time studying for his huge human physiology course. Occasionally, though, he had time for fun. His brother Steve came up one weekend and we took a trip up to San Francisco. We even made a mini movie in the apartment Pulp Fiction style.
Before school began, I took a little trip up to Washington to visit with my sister and her family via plane. While there, we took a little drive around the Seattle area. I found it to be a pretty nice city. Ian had gotten a bit more mouthy at 2 1/2, but Shawn at just under a year was an absolute delight.
That semester I took an Internet internship class with Professor Kellogg....Sarah was in there as well. The other Hutchins course was Schools in American Society with Zimmer. There was also Children's Lit, Ethnic Groups in America, Intro to Drama (reading plays), and some other Spanish course that I shared with Robin from 2 years ago in the dorms. A fairly light load, actually. I also did some volunteer work in an elementary classroom in Rohnert Park, a third grade class, a few times a week as part of the requirements of the class with Zimmer.
Early in the year, I came upon a quite welcome sight one morning: Kimberly! She had walked in graduation but still had a class or two to get done to officially graduate. We made plans to get together soon and we did, having a nice lunch, movie, then sat and talked awhile. I was realizing I still had feelings for her a little more than friendship, but she was still on the friendship level. We got together a few more times, but there was an occasion we were to meet and she didn't show. I didn't know she had to get home for something in an emergency, and in not knowing that I sent a bit (more than a bit) of an angry email...dumb old me again! And once I realized what had happened I was apologetic, but our connection had deteriorated a bit thanks to my impulsive nature. The last time I saw her for a while was in early 1997, then again the next year and later in 2001.
Incidentally, she and her family moved to Las Vegas in early 2018, and we have wonderfully reignited a very healthy friendship, and she has become good friends with Vickie and Natalie. Time really is a great healer!
One weekend, we guys took a little drive to Lake Tahoe to hang out. The problem was, we didn't have a whole lot of money so we ended up camping out in Scott's car...not the comfiest of evenings. The next morning we awoke, grabbed some breakfast, then headed to Scott's parents' house where we camped out in the family room for a while.
If there was any big news that fall it was my dad's visit to tell me he was marrying Becky and asked me to be his best man.
I went to San Diego for Thanksgiving and to celebrate my 24th. I also got fitted for my tuxedo there. Thanksgiving was actually at Becky's mom's house where I met much more of her family. I had already met her mom Joy, niece Allison, and nephew Matthew during the summer. Joy even asked me to read a Bible verse before the feast, which I was glad to do. After that, I finished out the semester pretty drama-free.
During the Christmas break, Scott came down for a bit and we took a car ride across the desert and stayed at my grandma's in Sun CIty West one night. A funny memory from that is my grandma asking what Scott wanted for breakfast, but couldn't remember his name, so she said, "your boyfriend"....my grandma Jo was a classic at times!
Also during that break, my mom and I took a trip to Washington. This one was not as smooth as the last one as there was snow in the Seattle area. We had a hop to San Francisco where we were for a long time. No flights to Seattle but we got one to Portland. We got a room and hoped to get a flight to Seattle the next morning, but no go. We then grabbed a rental car and did ok until we got past Olympia. The weather got worse and we slipped and slid a bit. Finally we found a shopping center parking lot where my sister met us and took us to their new home in Kent. Once we were there it was a good visit, though Ian was even worse behavior wise than during my last visit...terrible threes I guess!
1997
The nice thing about having a place of your own is that you can leave and come back whenever you want. Therefore, I didn't have to wait a month until returning to Rohnert Park. On the way back I stopped to visit with Karen and we hung out for a while before I went back home.
Pretty soon the last semester for me bachelor degree-wise was beginning. I wanted to have a little fun this time around so apart from the Hutchins courses (Viewing the Middle East, Law and Media, and Senior Synthesis), I also took tennis just for some movement and an ENglish class called Humor in Lesbian Fiction. The last 2 were for credit/no credit so lessen the stress. Apart from that I continued to volunteer in the 3rd grade classroom as I'd made a connection with the kids and I wanted to get a better idea about working in a classroom.
The social life had gone down a bit as well. Kimberly had left as her class requirements were done. I didn't have any classes with Sarah that semester. It was pretty much just schoolwork. I often putzed around on the Internet on Scott's Mac. Generally, life was pretty dull. Well, except for one event.
My dad's wedding! I flew down to San Diego in February and got to see my 2 uncles Chris and Harvey. My sister and her husband Mike were also there. The day before the wedding, I went with the guys to play golf, though I observed as opposed to playing. Later on was the rehearsal with a few small munches. I went with the uncles and Mike to Tijuana afterward and we had a pretty good bachelor party for my dad without my dad. Hey, I got a lap dance out of it! Coming home we stopped at a Denny's since we didn't get a real dinner. We got back to my Dad's at about 2...and then he was up at 5 on his bike! Before we knew it, it was time to get dressed and head to La Jolla for pictures before the main event. The wedding went well and there was some decent food at the reception. The only hitch was that my best man speech hadn't gotten properly filmed audio-wise so I had to do an aside and do it again! Aarrgghh! When I returned home I discovered my car had been towed from the parking lot where I caught the airport shuttle.Welcome home!
I haven't spent a lot of time writing about the classes themselves because, well, it's like talking about the pigeons milling about in a park. I went in, did my work, met some decent folks that I'd never see again after the classes were done at the end of the semester, then repeat the process. I'd have to say my favorite class was Law and Media. The professor was good but tough. He was also on crutches due to childhood polio. One day he had a fall and one of my classmates Steve DiFranco and I helped him back up...this professor was known to be tough to get an A from but I think that effort helped me get one. We had an end of semester get together at his home on the Russian River in May. I also went on a field trip with the 3rd grade class to San Francisco.
My dad came up for a graduation celebration and gave me a nice check. I also got one from June. I tell you, Scott's family really treated me nicely. I chose not to walk at the ceremony only because both my parents couldn't be there. Looking back, I'd probably walk if I could redo that time.Later we had a celebratory lunch with Scott's family. I was getting to know his Aunt Dell and Uncle Lew pretty well at this point. Scott's cousin Aaron had recently met and married a woman he met in class named Josephine and they had a daughter named Diana together.
Afterward, Scott and I took a drive up to Coo's Bay Oregon. I loved those drives up 101, a good blend of forests, hills, and ocean views...more ocean as you got closer to Oregon, and Oregon had a ton of ocean views!
Then it hit...I am not sure I would classify it as depression, but there was soon a feeling of "NOW WHAT?!" in my system. Whatever it was, my fairly trim figure was taking a turn for the worse as I was eating a lot of crap and not feeling very motivated.
In June, we moved from Rohnert Park to a family(his family) owned apartment village in Santa Rosa, so that took up some time. At least we didn't have to hike furniture upstairs this time. Still, the ennui was hitting big time. I was grabbing fast food for lunch and watching a lot of TV. Yeah, I'd say depression had hit just a bit.
In August, I got rid of my Dodge after a 5 year marriage and inherited my dad's Volvo (he was getting a BMW). I also helped my mom move into her new condo, her 3rd place since leaving my dad, but this one would last for 5 years. I also drove up to Washington for a visit on my own. This visit was pretty good because I also got to see my old buddy Derek from Pennsylvania. He had moved there fairly recently. He was with a woman named Vickie who was really nice and worked at Barnes and Noble. It was great to catch up and we would make a habit of it whenever I came up. I drove back to Santa Rosa all the way down 101 with a stop in Eureka for the night.
With all that done it was time to seek some employment. I found myself at a temp agency that put me into a rubber stamp factory in town. That gig lasted about a month. Another was for a few days at a new video store, wiping old store labels off video tapes with what was essentially nail polish remover. Then came a 1 day gig for Pepsi delivering to convenience stores essentially. And then there was a plush toy warehouse gig that lasted a month, pretty much right up to Christmas time. That was ok, the only thing was it was all the way down in Petaluma, about 20 miles each way really.
Now, I had no intention of doing temp jobs for the rest of my life, it was just something to do to make money and do something with my day for the time being. Three months of lolling about watching TV, Internet surfing, and eating like crap were more than enough, and after graduating from college, it was a huge system letdown. Luckily, I had embarked on another employment route: as a substitute teacher. I had gotten my paperwork, medical stuff and fingerprints taken care of in the fall so it was just a waiting game.
For my 25th birthday, Scott and I went to grab some dinner then saw George Carlin...that was number 3 for me seeing the guy!
Christmas was, well, just that. San Diego...back and forth. The one difference was that since my dad had moved into Becky's condo in La Jolla, the house had been sold. So had my record player, records, and captain's bed of 21 years. When I stayed there it was on a sofa bed in a small room my dad used for riding his stationery bike.Not the comfiest bed but it did the trick. During that trip I seem to remember a conflict with my mom again over my attitude and I discovered through a talk that she was in a peculiar dating situation she wasn't happy about. That did clear the air a bit. I'd gotten some money for Christmas and with some of it I bought a new Doors CD box set with a lot of unreleased material. It made for a fun ride home.
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