So far we have seen...
Really embarrassing and humiliating myself over a girl! (freeze)
A bad sunburn!(freeze)
Yahoo, it's the Ponderosa!(freeze)
A car accident!(freeze)
Another car accident!(freeze)
And another!(freeze)
A change to an outside job!(freeze)
College in West Virginia, a bummer!(freeze)
Move to San Diego, with lots of lousy short-term jobs!(freeze)
A return to school!(freeze)
Hold on to your mouse for the exciting continuation...
1994
After the return from my Pennsylvania trip (extended a day due to snow), I was feeling mildly bummed, only because my anticipated event was now over and I felt like there was nothing to look forward to. Well, not excactly true, but I did enjoy seeing my friends again. Little did I know what the year was going to bring down the line.
Shortly after my return, my mom and I took a trip up to Ridgecrest to visit with my siste, her hushand, and baby Ian. What I remmember about this trip are 2 things besides playing with my new nephew. First, my brother in law had a Super Nintendo, and I knew of a recent release: Super Empire Strikes Back! We rented it and I had a pretty good idea that I wanted one of these machines down the line. The other thing was the Northridge Earthquake, my first experience with the ground shaking! It wasn't too scary, though the reports of the damage to roads and resulting injuries and deaths were sad to hear. My mom and I had a slow journey home due to traffic...highways 395 and 15 were now the safe alternative going south.
After that, it was back to school for me. The days of lazing were done. Some little breaks here and there were healthy, but too long a break can be soul-shattering. In this semester, I took a chemistry course along with its lab, the FINAL algebra class that would for a change count on my transcript, a health class, and thanks to doing well in my speech class, I was invited to take an honors readers theater class where we collaborated together on material to create a script. We even toured a bit in the San Diego area.
In chemistry, I recalled much of what I learned in Gary Williamson's class 5 years ago, which proved advantageous finances-wise! There were 3 women in class who needed tutoring and by golly I tutored! One of them, Darcy Urquhart, was just a few years older than me and quite gregarious...a new female to focus on, even though once again she was attached. Hey, I was feeling alive again, so no problem! In math, I met a guy named Dave who, with his brother and a few other guys, had a band who played in small clubs and bars. I hung with them a few times for the next several months along with my tutoring gigs. Yay, a social life at last!
I was really glad to have those escapes. Apart from frequent visits by my sister and her brood, the Moore household was getting more and more tense. The move to San Diego had been tough on my parents' marriage and it was not getting any better. My mom often hung with her sister or went places with her colleagues form National, both escapes her her. She had also experienced some stomach problems at some point. It was stress, pure and simple.
In the summer, I took a few more classes: music appreciation, some civics class, and philospohy, a pretty light load for a change. I met a few more people in this time, but my mind was now on escape mode. Sonoma State was just around the corner for me and this time I was ready. Plus, it wasn't a huge place like West Virginia was. Kristin had gone away for some training, so Mike and Ian came to see us often.
In July, my dad and I went up for orientation. I had signed up to be a communications major, but somewhere along the way (I don't remember when anymore) I got the idea I might be a good teacher( a few more years of practice I might get there, har har). The major for teacher wannabes was liberal studies. As I was inquiring about the program in the Hutchins School of Liberal Studies office, I briefly met a girl seeking the same career...her name was Kimberly Cognac. I was hoping to see her again...and I would.
Coming back, my dad and I drove through Oakland and caught sight of a guy wearing absolutely nothing running across I 580...from the sounds we heard behind us, I don't think he made it...welcome to the Bay Area! We took a scenic route driving through Big Sur on CA 1. It was windy but beautiful!
Over the next month, things were not improving much at home and I wanted to leave more than ever. I was pondering a lot about if I was making a mistake going so far...Sonoma State was futher away from San Diego than WVU was from West Lawn! In the end I realized that staying near my parents was just going to be stressful...and this guy needed to be him...whatever that was besides a wiseass with a mullet.
In August we headed up. We stayed in a motel in Rohnert Park and the next day it was move-in time! It was decided I would be without car for the first semester, just to make sure. I hadn't had any accidents since Pennsylvania, but why take a chance?
As I moved my stuff into my dorm in Solano 508, I almost immediately met my new best buddy Scott Catania. He was a pretty friendly guy...and ever so talkative! Hey, I fart and snore, we all have our shortcomings! He wasn't my direct roommate, Matt Snope was. He was pretty interesting as well, and acted pretty funny when he'd had a few to drink. One night we were all (as a building) playing lawn bowling and Matt acted like a monkey as he picked up the pins...earning him the nickname Monkey Boy! Others in our suite were Ken Richardson and Joe Denny, and in the other part of the suite were Scott and Tim (who later moved to another dorm) and Dan and Craig.
In another room in our building were Calista Archuleta, Jen McPhee, Jen McInerney, Robin Vatcher, and Gina Lanzavecchia. McPhee, Robin, Gina, and I ended up attending the local church together regularly. In yet another room was Karen Squires. Scott, Karen, and I ended up being the 3 Musketeers for the next 2 years, hanging togehter, doing meals and movies often. She moved into a different dorm in the next semester but we still kept close.
In our own dorm, things got a bit wild at times, but this time I was a bit readier for it. There was lots of drinking and a little weed (which Ken called "herb") in the large toilet echo chamber. Often at these times Scott and I would go for drives around the Bay Area. Nicely, San Francisco was not far away so we went there often. We also had a common interest in classic rock.
Classes wise, I had a pretty good load. One of the classes,a science one, I shared with Kimberly. Needless to say, I looked forward to that one twice or 3 times a week. There was also an international literature course, a psychology class, and basic Spanish with an accompanyin lab. The lab consisted of watching the soap opera Destinos that was frequently on PBS. Nothing too heavy and pretty easy for a first semester away.
In October I went on a church trip to Aptos (near Santa Cruz) for a weekend. It was a nice time of prayer and reflection...the beach was decent as well. Events of the past few years definitely welcomed a good deal of reflection. When not doing school work, church stuff, or hanging with Scott, I went out for many walks. The cool Sonoma County air made those walks quite pleasant.
In November it was about time to think about the Thanksgiving holidays. I remember the day I left for San Diego, the science teacher was sensing our restlessness and pretending to be perturbed...I think he wanted an early out as well! The night before, however.Monkey Boy had had an odd combo of Jaegermeister and Twizzlers...making for a quit unplesant vomit on our floor! I couldn't sleep very well anyway so I stayed up and alternated between playing on Ken's Sega and watching TV. When it got light out, I went for a long walk, came to the dining hall to eat, hit up a class or 2, then Scott took me to SFO.
It was only a few days' visit, but I got some good time with now- 1 year old Ian, who had grown quite a bit of hair since I had left. Apart from that I could tell the tension in our house had grown even more without me there...I was anxious to return home...to Sonoma State!
After a few weeks of final classes...and finals, I was picked up by my dad to head home. While in San Diego for a really long break (roughly a month), I luckily got to see Ian a lot and Scott came down for a few days. Mostly I hung in my room awaiting the time to return north. What I was really looking forward to was seeing Kimberly again.
1995
Ah, the year of a great life change...well, great in terms of major at the time, but it would turn out to be possibly the greatest thing to happen to me.
After waiting out the holiday break, it was finally time to head north. I had convinced my dad to let me take my Dodge to school. It was an adventure I was excited to take on. Several music tapes and a Dave Barry audio book were going to take me a long way. Most of the trip was either cloudy or rainy, especially when I got to the Bay Area. It was a relief when I finally got to school and into my dorm.
A few changes to the 508 personnel. Joe Denny had left school and was replaced by Rob Lander, a fellow classic rock devotee and also a runner. Scott's second roommate was replaced by Randy Mazzuss, an odd guy with an uneven temperament. There was also a new guy name Mike who was pretty good. Frequent visitors Bernd and Hunter helped to transform our living area into a piece of art with random pictures and news clippings.
I finally got into the Hutchins School of Liberal Studies. Two of those classes were the intro course and practice of culture. What I remember from the intro course was being assigned to have a dialogue with a painting...yeah right up my alley! The culture course introduced me to perhaps the oddest professor I'd ever had: Richard Zimmer. A very direct and caustic guy who had an odd sense of humor. My other courses were 100 Years of French Cinema, a math number systems course and accompanying geometry course. In my liberal studies courses were a few people from the previous semester's science course and a new friend named Sarah Scallon. Meanwhile, Scott and Karen and I were often joined by Rob Lander, making us a regular foursome at meals.
In March I finally got up the nerve to ask Kimberly out. Pretty basic and friendly, a quick bite to eat and a movie, then drove around a bit talking. When we got back, we watched Lion King in her dorm room. A pretty nice time, actually! And could I just leave it at that? Oh no. She had invited me to stop by a couple days later for her birthday. I got her a couple of presents and a card and did so (this IS me, captain overboard, of course). Well when I finally saw her she was with some others, a bit plastered from lunch, and was with another guy. Eh, a bit grounded again...a bit older and wiser this time, but still felt hurt...but WAIT, there was more to come.
A day or so later, my mom called with quite anh interesting message: when she got home that day she was asking my dad for a divorce...well THAT one topped any girl problems for the moment! Needless to say, my emotions were in a new form of whirlwind! My friends were supportive to be sure, but also knew not to crowd too much. Before Spring Break, Kimberly and I went out again and I was over the birthday thing...hey, we weren't exclusive and it had only been one date! Well, now 2! I felt a bit better about all of that, and I needed some good feeling for Spring Break in San Diego!
After taking Dan and Hunter to the airport, I took 101 (the LONG way) back. I just wanted to listen to music and and take my time. There was a lot to prepare for. When I got hime I think I got the biggest hug from my dad that I could remember...he was really happy to see me. During that week I spent an equal amount of time with him and my mom, who had moved closed to San Diego State (not far from that temporary aprtment in 1992). My feelings were still pretty mixed up and I didn't know where I fit in...with anything! Without their unity to fall back on anymore, tenuous as that unity had been for a while, I now had to fall back on...me! I had to build myself from the ground up. It was to be a long process.
Coming back to Sonoma State was a relief! It was now home to me, even if it was in a dorm. The last few weeks were pretty pleasant. Kimberly and I went out one more time, but at this point my parents' split was completely on my mind and I wasn't myself anymore. I was moody, sullen, depressed, and slightly out of sorts...I ran out of synonyms!
Shortly before I left for home in May, I came to see Kimberly to bring her back an umbrella she'd left behind. I wrote her a note since she wasn't there...saying "Here's your damn umbrella, have a nice summer!" That would be a joke between a lot of us for a while after that, but later. The thing was, I wasn't really mad at her for anything in particular, I was just wrestling with a lot. Perhaps seeking a relationship that semester was not the best idea considering everything, but she and I had some nice times together that got my mind off of things. My dad came to help me take some of my stuff back to the house in San Diego. A bit after breakfast we noticed one of my tires was pretty beat up so we took a detour to Fresno and found a Sears auto place to get it repaired, making our arrival home a lot later than expected.
For the summer, my aunt got me a job at Ticketmaster in the phone center. I got to work with slow computers to place orders for customers. It was decent dough, and it also got me out of the house often. I also took a government course at night at Miramar. In the meantime I continued to split time between mom's and dad's homes. My sister and Ian were staying at my dad's while she worked at the Naval base. She was also pregnant with number 2, which made life not so grand at times.
August couldn't come soon enough! My class at Miramar had ended and I'd put in my notice at Ticketmaster. When it came right down to it, I was still numb from the divorce, going through the motions of life and surviving. My mom got me a bean bag and a feather bed to take back up with me. My dad and I headed up one day in 2 separate cars...which suited me fine as I could listen to my stuff instead of a silent car, which gets old on a 10-11 hour trip!
When we got to the campus, we began taking my stuff to the on-campus apartment in Merlot, the northwesternmost residence building with a wine theme. Unlike the dorm, we had a small kitchen and fairly decent cupboard space. Rob came shortly after we did. We grabbed something to eat with my dad and did some speculation. Rob and I were sharing a room, but with whom would Scott be shacking up?
The answer came the next day after Scott arrived. The guy's name was Ed...Ed Kasprzycki (Casper-zickee). It didn't take long to figure out that he was a bit...different. His handshake was a bit oily (always a turn-off for me), he sputtered, often shuffled his feet before entering or exiting a doorway, almost like a bull preparing to charge, and he talked to his mom late at night...every night...and called her by her first name. It turned out he had Tourette's, but cussing wasn't one of his problems (actually if it had been we might have enjoyed his company a lot more).
Now, before I continue the tale of the new school year, I must stop and make a confession...of the 3 amigos in that apartment, I was the meanest to Ed, and I am not by nature a mean person. Slightly in my defense is the fact that he wasn't all that great a personality to deal with anyway, but I did pull some tricks on him that year that he did not handle well. 25 years later I look upon this and understand a lot of anger was finally coming out over recent events. I was good pals with Scott and Rob, but had no connection or obligation toward Ed, so as long as he kept out of my space he was ok. I didn't beat him up or anything, but I did threaten his life one day...which got him out of my way for several days after.
Actually, the one who really suffered due to Ed was Scott, who luckily held a part time job when not in classes, so he had a little bit more rage toward Ed than I did.
Anyhow, two doors down from us were Karen and Kimberly and their respective roommates Kerenza and Lori. It was a joyous reunion with Karen, but Kimberly and I had a little tension from the previous year at first, but that thawed with a little time and we got to be friends on a normal basis again, which made hanging out a lot less awkward.
The four of us roommates had a weekly routine of each chipping in $20 for groceries at Food 4 Less. Back in 1995, $80 could get a week's worth of basic groceries for college guys easily. Breakfast was generally cereal, lunch and dinner were often basic veggie burritos (sour cream, refried beans, and cheese) or sandwiches and chips. On rare occasions we hit up someplace to eat if we had coupons.
Between the previous spring and current fall, we had gotten involved in some local Rocky Horror Picture Show activities via Karen and Kimberly. One night in September we went to San Jose's show, which was pretty big. Rob got called up on stage as he was a "virgin"and was stripped to his briefs. He didn't care...he knew he'd never see that crowd again. Karen and I had actually been hanging out a lot that fall, which didn't make her then boyfriend (now husband) Grady very happy, but Karen was really just giving me a good friendly ear when I needed one.
One day when I was getting my books for the semester from the school store, there were a couple of guys hawking credit card offers. I signed up, next thing I knew I got a Mastercard and Discover Card...to this day I wish I had not done that so soon...credit cards have not served me well.
In terms of classes, I was feeling a slightly less feeling of motivation than usual, though not nearly as bad as West Virginia. I took a biology course that included a lab, an English course, a phys ed for elementary kids class, and my 2 Hutchins courses "We Hold These Truths" (with Richard Zimmer) and "Literature and Society" (with Francisco Vazquez, a tough but kind professor). Still, I pulled a solid 3.0 that semester considering my inner bullshit.I was seeing a regular group of fellow Hutchins students in many of these courses, including my friend Sarah. I was interested in her, but knew from recent experience I had to get my inner self healed a bit more. That wouldn't happen for a long while, and Sarah and I were just friends for the rest of college and a bit beyond.
Come Thanksgiving, I really didn't want to go to San Diego. My sister and her family (with new addition Shawn) were up in Washington, not sure what my mom was doing, and my dad had a girlfriend so I knew I'd have a 3rd wheel in either household. So I went home with Scott in Fairfield, just an hour away. Scott had a really nice family. His sister Amy was a senior in high school, and his parents Sam and Betty were both high school teachers. As time went, they became like a second set of parents to me so I called them Ma and Pa. I don't talk much to them in recent years, just distance and all, but I still think of them that way. We had a nice time, including a nice dinner and going to see "The American President" at the movies.
Back to school, just a few more weeks. The weather was cooler and rainier...and another month in San Diego was looming. With the Hutchins classes we just had final projects or papers but no finals.
My 23rd birthday consisted of drinking some really bad concoctions we'd created with Kool AId and tequila...not watered down enough. Scott got himself nice and wasted, it was kind of fun to watch. Rob had a lot of fun with him when hung over by playing "Tequila Sunrise" in the morning! You know you have a storng friendship when you can get away with that shit!
On the eve of my departure, Rob left a day early and couldn't fit everything into his car so asked me to bring it to him. That was a pretty stormy week. Even the day I was leaving was pretty wet. I headed out in the early evening through the wet Bay Area freeways. My car was having some transmission trouble so until I could get it fixed, every few hundred miles I had to put a bottle of transmission fluid in. That night I made it into Fresno and stayed at a Motel 6. The next morning I was awake at about 5 and watched TV for a bit, then headed out. It was somewhat clearewr and a smoother ride.
When I got to Rob's, he took me to eat at Baker's Square, then I proceeded to San Diego. The first order of business was getting the car fixed. Apparently the transaxle system needed replacing...an expensive job according to my dad.
Settling in for a long month, I continued the back and forth between my dad's and mom's. Christmas was pretty tough in the new dynamic, both my mom and I were feeling more than a bit sad. Dad was spending time with his new lady Becky and her family. A day or so after Christmas, my mom and I flew up to Washington to spend some time with my sister and her brood. It was the first time I met Shawn. I was also having fun playing with Ian who was a lot more talkative than in the summer. Shortly after, I went back up there with my dad. I also took a drive to Beverly Hills to hang with Lori (one of Karen and Kimberly's roommates) one day. Apart from all that I spent a while in my room listening to music, or in the den watching TV...all the while thinking about some ladies in my life back at school. Before too long, it was time to go back up.
Altogether, I might have to declare 1995 the start of a new depression in a certain way, but not like the one before. It was more of a situation forced ON me than one I created all on my own. In that way it was a little easier to learn how to cope...though that process was just starting!
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