Recently (like YESTERDAY) I wrote a piece about the very early 90s as it related to me. Through that, I made a pretty startling...and cathartic...discovery: I had my first real bout of depression a lot sooner than I thought I had...and it didn't end at the end of that piece, it continued for a time after that. The nice thing is, having that realization relieved a certain weight from my inner core.
Continuing on into the next two years, I see the continuing trend...and where there was a definite change.
1992
This year got its true start once I returned to West Virginia University after Christmas break. I had pretty much said goodbye to my life in Pennsylvania during that time. Three weeks is hardly enough time to make that kind of closure but it was all I had...and apparently it was not enough. If I wasn't into my classes much in the fall semester, I was into them even less this time around. I do believe the main reason was that...quite frankly I did not want to be there.
Going with my parents across the country to San Diego wasn't precisely a fun prospect, either, and the semster and room and board were already paid for, so I sucked it up. One thing I got out of the way was moving into a new dorm, hoping to get a bit more peace. My roommate Charles was a decent guy, it was the rest of the floor for the most part that jsut wanted to party all the time...that just wasn't me.
I moved into a new building, into a room with a good guy named David Hannibal in mid January. It was truly a better environment. My classes were poetry/drama, a self paced psychology course, some nighttime SPanish course that I dropped fairly fast, and English 2 (aka English 101). I put forth due effort in all, and my grades were fairly acceptable considering my lack of full diligence. I knew San Diego was on the horizon, and it was an uncertain future. I continued to hang with my new friend Craig Caes and the guys on his floor. It helped to pass the time. We as a group went to church on Sundays and generally ate meals together. My sort-of interest Julie was in one of my classes and I pursued, but alas she was involved so no go there.
In early April I flew out to San Diego for Spring Break. It was quite different from what I expected...well, I was not sure what I expected exactly, but mountainous terrain wasn't what I had envisioned. Of course I thought of constant beaches, but that's generally what people consider when San Diego comes to mind, right? My parents had bought a house but it wasn't ready yet os they were in an apartment near San Diego State University. It was pretty much an "entertain Bryan and put on happy faces" week...in other words, quite sohrt of real life. We went out to eat a lot, saw movies, saw a comedy show at the Improv, and drove around the entire San Diego area a lot. The weather was quite pleasant as well, mostly sunny the entire time was there. It was sad to go at the end, but a sample is just a sample. Coming back to WVU that Sunday was a definite reality check...cold and snowy!
Another getaway from campus was during Easter weekend (in college, Easter and Spring break are not always the same period) when I went home with Craig to Canton. He had a pretty nice family, including a dad named Clyde who was a retired pastor. I distinctly remember him reading a Bible verse to us before Craig and I headed out to breakfast...my kind of guy! I also remember getting up early for sunrise service on Easter...same day, we headed home.
The rest of the weeks were filled with an almost nightly littany of people pulling the fire alarm in the middle of the night then sneaking into hopefully unlocked doors to steal things fro other students. My room was a victim to that. Luckily my plane ticket to San Diego wasn't taken but Dave's books were and it was finals week!
And then in mid May, the brief West Virginia period was done. I had shipped a lot of my things to San Diego ahead of my departure...at a lot of expense! I arrived in San Diego on a typical gray gloom day, just in time for Mother's Day weekend. A week later, my dad and I enjoyed the final Johnny Carson show together.
With that began quite a long period of ennui. I didn't know anybody besides my parents and Aunt Terry and cousin Erica. I had no residency established yet so I slept in a lot and my mom and I went to the local mall often, just to pass the time. In mid summer, we both took extension courses at UCSD...me in screenwriting and my mom in paralegal. It was a good way to stay occupied for a time. We were also recruited by my aunt to work for Ticketmaster at the baseball fanfest at the convention center...a pretty easy $300. At the same convention center I also attended the famous ComiCon for a day...quite an experience! The same day we went to see George Carlin at Shelter Island.
My sister Kristin had joined the Navy earlier in the year and during the summer was stationed at China Lake up in Ridgecrest. My dad and I drove her up there in the desert. Soon after, he and I took a trip to Pennsylvania, rented a truck, grabbed her things from her ex boyfriend Chaz's house (including a heavy ass pottery wheel and 50 pound hunk of clay), then drove down to North Carolina to get her car from her new fiancé Billy Bob. We then took a nice long transcontinental trek back to San Diego, seeing a lot of great county along the way,the best part being the Rockies.
All of that, while fun, was also a lot of time-passing. I was getting sick of it, and thinking back on it, it really wasn't helping the depression much. One last lift of activity was meeting my aunt's fiancé Pekka Taipale, a very nice Finn, and participating in their wedding...as an usher again. My parents had also gottne me a car, a 1987 Dodge Colt. Not long after getting it,the thing needed new brakes! Ah, used cars.
Afterward, it was time for some job seeking. That was quite a low period morale-wise. The first job,so to speak, was learning the art of selling high-end vacuums. Two weeks of that taught me I was no salesman. I then delivered nifty nickel papers to homes for a few weeks, then went to work for a new pre-Costco Price Club as one of the demonstraters. That lasted a few weeks but at least earned me some good money. I looked for a few other jobs but not much was panning out as the holidays approached. During this period we briefly met my sister's soon to be ex-fiancé Billy Bob as we met her new fiancé Mike at Terry's wedding.
Thanksgiving was spent at Terry and Pekka's apartment. There I got my cousin Erica to sell me her Nintendo. My folks weren't too fond of that but I at least had something to occupy my time since the job thing wasn't happening.
My 20th birthday wasn't much to speak of. I was at a pretty low point...lonely and unemployed. My mom had finally found employment at the library of National University,but that wouldn't begin until January. In the meantime she took a position at Robinson's-May working the jewelry counter at the El Camino Plaza mall in Carlsbad.
Christmas Eve was spent with Pekka's family and I was starting to feel a bit ill. Turns out I was coming down with pneumonia, a nice way to enjoy the holidays...not!
So endeth 1992...the last year of complete hell...for a while at least!
1993
Soon after the pneumonia left me, my folks got me into a weekend course of learning Spanish over the course of a few weeks...it was something! After that, plans for my sister's wedding in Ridgecrest were under way...and I was trying to stay OUT of the way. Nothing for me to do but tag along...as usual. Ridgecrest was quite cold and wintry in February. The wedding went well and all was good...until we got home.
We had boarded our aging dog Mac in town while we were in Ridgecrest, and had forgotten to pack his special diet food. Their food did not do him any favors and his system could not handle it. Just a few days after bringing him home, MacTavish Moore passed away. We had this beloved family member for only a little over 10 years. We buried him in our backyar dand created a nice wodden tombstone for him.
In the meantime, we learned my sister was pregnant. Fast work! I distinctly recall a fight between my mom and dad about it...one of many to come.
Soon after my Spanish course was done, I took a job putting together a dollar store in nearby Rancho Bernardo. That was some more decent pocket money. After all the putting together work and one actual day of working at the open store, they cut back to necessary personnel...of which I wasn't. Ah well, another brief job gone.
And then...my year of residency in California was soon established! That meant...BACK TO SCHOOL!
That meant something else as well...a three-year long depression was coming to an end at last! I enrolled in a full set of summer courses at Miramar College, part of the San Diego city college system. This was much more up my alley than West Virginia was! A daily commute of about 6 miles and back every day was easy. A summer semester is truly intense, even at a community college, but it was what my soul needed. I was getting out of the house, studying, working with others...and generally feeling pretty good about myself.
In that semester I took an anthropology course, algebra (remember that D from WVU? It necessitated this back to the drawing board come-uppance!), ancient history, and some good ol tennis for physical activity. I was feeling GREAT AT LAST!!! That semester ended with me getting a solid 3.6 GPA, a shitload higher than my 2 point whatever at WVU! A shitty year doing a lot of nothing had given me motivation to succeed.
With the bad feelings out of me, I decided on another change...letting my hair grow out in back. Mulelt time!
During this time I began researching some colleges in the state, for community college goes only so far. On Labor Day weekend, my folks and I traveled to three colleges: Sonoma State, Chico State, and as an afterthought, Fresno State on the way back. Sonoma State won me over immediately with its small town feel. I just knew it was the place for me, so work began to get me there. First I had more coursework to do.
In the fall I took an English course, a U.S. history course, a speech class, another stupid algebra class, and probably another class I can't remember...or not. At any rate, I was keeping busy. My parents allotted me $20 a week for gas and whatever. One neat place I found was the Quik Wok not far form our house. I fell in love with their garlic chicken and began coming there regularly to have more of that lunch special!
Now,there was a special present I wanted for Christmas and it really didn't matter if I got nothing else: a trip by myself to Pennsylvania. I really did not care if I received nothing else.
In November I traveled with Terry, Pekka, and Erica to my Grandma and Bob's house in the Phoenix area for Thanksgiving. That was a pretty nice trip, I got to see my grandma's sisters and nephew. While we were there my sister gave birth to Ian Michael Slater. He had a few difficulties at first but then pulled through nicely. After returning to San Diego, I went with my dad to Ridgecrest to pick my mom up.
Soon after, I celebrated my 21st birthday. Not exactly an ideal 21st of debauchery, but it was a helluva lot better than the previous one! I received my Moore family ring, a 3D map of California, and the radio drama of The Empire Strikes Back.
Around Christmas, I was noticing more and more tension around the Moore household. My dad was getting moodier and moodier all the time, and sometimes picking fights with people, menaing me and/or my mom. I had elected to spend Christmas Eve with Terry, Pekka, and his family...a much calmer and merry environment.
The mullet was finally taking good form!
A day after Christmas, I headed to Pennsylvania with a little pocket money for the trip. I came into the Reading Aiport and was met by my friend Tris and his teen brother Trevor. We ate at the airport restaurant then began a pretty fun week of getting together with old friends. New Year's Eve was the highlight. We hung at Rick Klingaman's house with several old Wilson faces. It was at this party that I was introduced to Denis Leary and the Jerky Boys...big comedy names of the 90s! It was great seeing Derek, Zach, Jeremy, and even the Kirkners. Even after Tris's mom returned form a trip we were still having a lot of fun.
Just being back in Pennsylvania was a great feeling. I had looked forward to it for so long that I didn't want it to end...due to a snowstorm I was granted an extra day. Alas, all good things must come to an end, even vacations. But that was ok...1994 was getting off to a great start!
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