Pound by Pound

Steppin on the scale

Watching the numbers bounce

That fucker will cry for mercy

If I gain just one more ounce!

Ooh ooh I got the overcarb blues!

OK, well maybe not THAT bad. Still, back in December I wasn't doing too well with my eating. It WAS a vast improvement over the previous year when I employed the following formula.

1. Buy something sweet and delicious, try 1 and put it in the pantry.

2. Love it so much that hey, 1 or 2 or 3 more couldn't hurt.

3. Keep to step 2 until the package was done before midnight.

I'm not kidding, I was really that bad in winter of last year! At the time, I had no idea why I was being that way, nothing in fact seemed wrong. Now, I have come to understand that with buying and moving into a new house the previous fall, my system was adjusting to a LOT of changes and the sweets were helping me cope...well, that and registering as pre-diabetic at my next doctor appointment!

I did get better in terms of eating habits, at least in terms of the sweets. Yet, the weight wasn't exactly melting like butter in a microwave. Skip ahead to December, when my school advertised a Biggest Loser Challenge! I thought, GREAT! If this is going by my high school dating record, I'm a sure winner! However, to my chagrin (cha meaning loss of, grin meaning grin), I discovered that it meant WEIGHT LOSS!

My first reaction was HAHAHAHAHA! I've tried this for myself several times, each instance failing after a little while. Then I found out there was money involved. This greedy bastard changed his tune quickly!

That hurdle out of the way, I needed a plan. As indicated, my previous efforts at weight loss were equal to trying to destroy the Death Star by tickling a stormtrooper....not a lot of laughs and quick failure. A few Facebook friends often posted about weight loss and management so I asked 1 for advice. This person, whom I had never met personally and had graduated from my high school 3 years after me, actually called and gave me some good eastern Pennsylvania-style advice ("Don't be a pussy, do it!") in the realm of low carbs.

So I made a plan: eat like shit for the rest of 2019 and get it out of my system! That really took hold on New Year's Eve! When school started back on January 6, I weighed in at 222 pounds. I had been a few pounds higher than that before, so I wasn't feeling too bad. 

Now, there is something about me, a kind of dark side. I tend to jump ass-first into things like an unsecured hammock (true story there), and my expectations of myself are so high that when failure occurs, it comes BIG and I have difficulty climbing out of that hole I dug for myself. That has happened to me many times in many different situations, and a shrink or two has made some good money off of listening to me ramble about them....well, they did if my insurance paid them their due! Anyway, I was about to do the same thing with the weight loss. Luckily, I have Vickie, that wonderful spouse of reason  (usually) who puts the kibosh on my rash tendencies. She saw it about to happen again and diplomatically told me to calm down or fuck off. Fourteen years and we are still that strong!

That first week was one of the hardest I can remember in terms of eating. My energy was sagging, ready to pounce heavily on the first M&M that came across my lips. Luckily, it didn't happen. I dropped all cereals and grains, and generally all sweets save for an occasional morsel likean Andes mint once in a while.

After a week, I dropped 5 pounds, then a little more each week until early March when I stepped on the scale and it read 202!!! I couldn't believe it!

Even more, my energy levels jumped up by late January. I did have a little bout of oily hair and really bad breath, but as it turns out that is part of the body hitting ketosis.

And that is another thing: the word keto. It brings so many things to mind. To me it is craziness and mucho bucks for anythng with that word on it. And then there are the recipes...way too complicated for my simple mind. 

The real key to it has been this :lots of protein (preferable lean), fats, and veggies. Nuts and cheese for snacks have really helped. Everyone is different, but that has worked for me. For a while.

Then the quarantine hit....and the efforts started to hit the fan. 

It is telling when the system is in stress, just like after our move, I have stumbled quite a few times. Luckily, my gains have not been too great, but the losses have not been regular and I've been in a general stasis. 

Pound by pound, I shall conquer!

As much as I can lose

But with all I gained through the years

I'm still paying my dues!

Diary of a Mad Quarantinee

Monday, March 16

Honey, I'm heading to work.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzz.

I love you, too.

Phone rings. Hello, boss.

"Hello, glad I caught you."

Oh?

"Yes, I just got word from upstairs. Everyone is staying home for the time being."

Talk about last-minute!

"Not last-minute, they were meeting about this all yesterday."

How many did you miss this morning?

"Several. We have to turn them back when they get here."

That should make the ones from the other side of town happy. Thanks for the call. (click). Hey honey, guess what? I get to stay home for the time being, isn't that great?

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

I love you, too. I'm getting some more coffee.

Friday, March 27

Honey, I just got lucky!

With whom?

No, I managed to find a 6-pack of the Cottonelle. Store wasn't packed and I think they'd just restocked.

What about the water?

Still low, but we have the reverse osmosis anyway, so we're good.

Did you do any work this morning?

Yeah, I graded all that was submitted to me, which wasn't much.

Why is that?

Some parents think we have to make this up in the summer so they figure why bother? Some have low home tech. If that's the case, they can go get those packets at the food sites. Since we're not grading, I'm not feeling too much stress. (long silence). Honey, you ok?

No! (sobbing)

What's wrong?

Sally died yesterday!

What from?

Coronavirus.

I'm sorry, sweetie. You've known her a long time.

Since I was a kid.

How old was she?

75 I think. No, 74, her birthday's in September.

(sadly) She was a pretty nice person. I'll miss her.

Wednesday, April 15

Hey babe, what are you doing? 

Oh, we have to go back and document all the contact we've had with students and parents for attendance.

Now? That could have been taken care of every week!

Yeah, well, you know the school district, one step ahead of the snails as always.

So, we going to do anything about the house?

Like?

Maybe some painting? Some cleaning? 

Oh. Yeah. I guess we could.

Seeing as how you're home until the end of the month and the work from home doesn't take forever...we can watch movies and you can do your jigsaw puzzles all you want, but there's things to take care of.

(slightly annoyed) I know that! It's just a weird funk I'm in, like I'm in limbo.

(smiling patiently)Doing something other than sitting at the computer will help, I bet.

You're right! What do you want to paint?

Monday, April 27

Well, it's official.

What?

We're out for the duration. 

At least you don't have to make it up.

From the looks of things there wouldn't be any point to that anyway since the country's on lockdown into the summer anyway. Hey! This sucks!

So you keep saying.

No, I mean Fay's Diner. It's permanently closed. That's the first one.

One of the best local places. We had our first date there, remember?

Yeah, the fried chicken and their spaghetti were to die for! Damn! I wonder what else will be closed?

Don't ask!

Friday, May 22

Hey, hon. Sorry I'm late!

(angry) What took you so fucking long?

Hey! I had to do all that shit by myself! Packing up a classroom alone isn't a picnic.

I'm sorry. I'm just-

What?

Well even when you're here, you're on social media, or playing a game, or working on another jigsaw. We're not doing much together...of anything.

(silent for a while) Yeah...I know. I can't explain it, it's just...I don't know what to do!

About us?

About anything! Work's fucked up, people are dying, there's a near riot every time I have to get something at the store, the streets and freeways are a suicide mission half the time, our government is lying to us all the time...with all that, I feel like I'm losing who I am. It's like I can't trust anyone and anything!

Including me?

(sighing) No, darlin, you're the one person who's stayed right by me all this time. (thinking) And you've been through a lot, too. You didn't lose just Sally, you lost Mary and Vera, too. How've you managed to deal with all of that?

Simple. You've been here to see me through it, and I'm trying to see you through things, too. I know sometimes you need to be by yourself, it's who you are. Just not all day, you know?

(smiling) I know.

Saturday, June 13

Well, I have good news and bad news.

Good first.

No more skanks in see-through PJs.

Huh?

Wal Mart closed down.

What?! That company was solid!

Not with the employee walkouts. They've had the highest cases since everything opened back up. Nobody feels safe there, or really anywhere else now.

I never thought I'd see the day! All right, what's the plan today?

We painted the whole dining room yesterday, I think it's a relax day!

Movies?

I already have a few lined up.

Friday, June 19

Honey, we need more dishwasher soap!

I know. Nobody has any, anyone who's left anyway.

I still think....no!

What?

I'm still in the mindset that I can go to the store to see if I can find a gem or two. No more of that.

For now.

Yeah, but so many have closed already. Target, Smart & Final...

And Texas Roadhouse!

What?!

Yup, no more ribeyes from there.

And the sweet tea!

And the shrimp with the sauce.

Well, shit! We have a grill, I can do shrimp skewers myself. The sauce? That's another story.

I can try something. Worst case scenario, you make your cocktail sauce, always a winner!

Saturday, July 11

Sweetheart, how are you?

Doing better, I think. (coughing) I hate hospitals.

I know, me too. Really missing you.

Feed the cats?

Yes.

Hold them?

I try, but you're Dr Dolittle here, not me.

(pause and a sob) I really (cough) miss you!

I miss you, too. I wish I could see you.

Thursday, July 23

How are you doing?

Great! I think I feel better than I did before I got it!

Good. I was really worried, you know?

I know. I was lucky. So were you!

After years of being around kids, I must have built a damn solid immune system. That sounds iffy now.

Oh?

Just had a Meet with the staff. As of now, we're starting school online in August.

Hmm. I guess we shouldn't be surprised, though I wonder how that'll work. Kids don't learn from packets.

No, it's going to be weird. And I need to figure out what to do with myself.

Huh?

We ended the year this way, that was one thing. The kids are already far behind and if they don't have good devices or anything at all, it'll be pointless.

What does that have to do with you?

Unless the district comes up with a good remote learning system, it's going to be a waste of a year.

Monday, August 3

Honey?

Yeah?

I just want you to know I love you!

I know.

Thank you, Han Solo! I know this is tough today. Your dad was always really nice to me.

It's weird, you know? He was never sick when I was a kid. A few sneezes and coughs here and there, but that's it.

But this was cancer, completely different.

Right. I know. I just wish I could be there. Fucking travel restrictions!

Nancy has everything taken care of, she knew you couldn't get there.

(voice shaking) Whew, this is going to be tough starting the school year this way. I don't know how I've made it this far.

You have me, silly!

I sure do. And honey?

Yes?

I love you, too!

The Divorcé part 4

   I sat down in a booth at the Black Bear Diner, a place where I had met many out of town friends when they had a moment or 2 to spare with me between slot pulls or shows. It was fairly close to the Strip, so Uber or taxi access was easy for them. The place itself was average family restaurant family fare, and that was what I liked about it. Some good oldies were ususally playing so that was a bonus.

   As I decided on a French dip, Tessa appeared before me. She was almost exactly as I had remembered her, except the brown long shaggy hair had more than a few gray strands in it. "Sam! You came!"

  I smiled. "Why wouldn't I?" I stood up and put out my arms to which she ran to and gave me quite a tight hug. After a long minute, I eased back. "You are looking good."

   She laughed. "Yeah, good and gray!" She sat down and so did I. She glanced at the menu I'd had put there for her. "Did you order?"

  "No, but I know what I want. Take your time."

    As she looked through the menu, I could tell she wasn't really interested in the food, her raised eyebrows couldn't have cared less. After a minute of fake looking, she closed it. "A burger looks good to me. You?"

  "French dip."

  "I haven't had one of those for a long time! Maybe I'll do that instead." She looked at me intently with her smile.

  "As you wish. I love them here."

   She looked at me some more, then said, "I bet you are wondering why I wanted to meet with you."

  "Yeah, I've been thinking about that."

  "Any theories?"

  "Well, you and I had no real romantic or sexual nature to our friendship way back when, so I was thinking this is money or business related."

   Tessa's smile shortened a bit. "Really? You didn't get any relationship vibes from me?"

  "I remember us meeting on  a dating site and that you were very cautious, even sending me to meet a friend who was busy at work. We got together a few times for a friendly meal and your son Doug. Most of our phone conversations revolved around him. I do remember helping you move to a new place once and shortly after you were moving to Phoenix and had fallen in love with some online gamer you'd never met. No, I think you and I were the perfect definition of platonic." I took a sip of my beer. "And there's nothing wrong with that, mind you. When you come back into my life 20 years or so later, I rule out a second shot because the seed for a first shot wasn't really planted."

   She nodded in response, then stayed quiet for a long while, in fact she didn't speak until our sever took our orders. We both got the French dip. After the server left us, Tessa's eyes were a bit wet. "Wow, the way you sum that all up sounds pretty cold."

  "Not cold, just matter of fact after so long."

  "Well, were you into me at all?"

  "As far as I know I was, but in the dating era of my youth, I was into a lot of women, figuratively and literally."

   She raised an eyebrow. "A bit TMI there."

  "Sorry. What I mean is, during the time I knew you, I was actually dating other women, going on actual dates. So while I was interested in you, I wasn't waiting on you."

   She nodded again. "OK, I can see that."

   I took another pull. "You've been back a year now?"

  "Yeah, the job brought me back, still servicing slot machines, or rather I'm back to that."

  "What took you so long to contact me?"

  "Oh! Well, I was getting settled in my apartment and the job again, and-"

  "And after burying yourself in all that for all that time, I'm the first guy you contacted, right?"

  "Um, no. Why do you ask that?"

  "Oh, nothing, just taking a survey. While we are waiting for our meals, let's get down to it."

  "Get down to what?"

  "Why we're meeting."

  "I-I wanted to see you."

  "Why?"

  "Oh my God, why are you so suspicious?"

   I smiled. "I'm not suspicious, but I'm not a dummy or a fool...well, except for not seeing a dead marriage for what it is. Now, as I am an experienced man and an old acquaintance, do me the respect of telling me why we are here together at your insistence."

   Tessa opened her mouth to speak, then closed it and looked away in thought. Afrer a while, she looked back at me. "I've been doing a lot of...looking."

  "OK, what have you been looking for?"

  "Not really for so much as at...I've been looking at myself the past year. Been meeting some guys, both new and from my past."

   I nodded in understanding. "You're trying to see if you're broken."

   She flashed me a fierce glare for a quick second, but relented and nodded gravely. "Everyone else from my past wanted to get together for a fling, but nothing else. No interest in talking. The new ones, well, I'm not even up to their standards, especially the younger ones."

  "They wanted the flings. Pardon my question, but did you grant them?"

 "Yes...not that it's any of your business."

  "It's not, and you didn't have to answer. But after the flings, how did you feel?"

  "Jesus! What are you, my shrink?"

  "No, just following up on what you said about looking at yourself. The question fits."

   Tessa just shook her head for a moment. "This is not the Sam Chapin I remember!"

  "That man is long gone, for better or for worse. Right now I'm more aware of people's motives. It's one of the perks of the divorce, almost a super power, though I don't know if it's being used for good or evil."

   We were interrupted by the arrival of our food. We paused the conversation and ate in silence for a few minutes. I savored the au jus with every bite. Tessa picked daintily at her food, eating a bit here and there. After a while, she put down her sandwich and folded her arms on the table. "I'm not really hungry."

  "I know. You didn't expect to actually eat. I'm guessing you wanted to," I lowered my voice, "screw."

   For the first time in a while, Tessa laughed. "Yeah, I did. I decided to give my past another try by giving more and...I think I lost more."

   I finished my chew and decided I'd had enough. "One thing I've learned from my marriage is that my past is merely an accumulation of who I am now, but I can't go back and change it. That's what the twenties, maybe early 30s, are for, for some people anyway, to enjoy when you can, because you can't get them back. What you CAN do later on is evolve from that."

  "Sounds depressing."

  "It can be if you dwell on things like what could have been. Instead, think about what could be, not STILL be, but could be."

   She thought about that for a bit, then grinned. "Are you and me a could be?"

  "Tonight?"

  "Why not?"

   I smiled back. "Could be. Let's get dessert first. I haven't eaten much today."

To be continued.

The Divorcé part 3

  "Hi...Sam?"


   It wasn't a phone conversation, but a chat window on Facebook. "Yeah, it's me. Who is this?"

  "Tessa. Do you remember me?"

   I sure did....in my pre-marriage dating days! I had met her online, chatted frequently, and had dinner with her and her son a few times, then she up and moved to Phoenix for what I assumed was job related, and I haven't seen or spoken to her since. "Vaguely," I typed.

  "I know, it's been what, 20 years?"

  "Give or take. How are you?"

  "Pretty good. Yourself?"

  "Recently divorced."

  "Oh! I am so sorry."

  "Thanks, but I think it was better for all concerned in the long run. How is life in Phoenix?"

  "Well...I am back in Vegas."

  "Ah, nice. Just get back?"

  "No...actually been back for a little over a year."

   I was amused by her 3 period hesitations, almost liek she was feeling guilty. "Well, nice to hear from you. How is your son?"

  "Oh, he's good, long moved out with a family of his own. Still in Arizona."

  "Glad he is well." The small talk was getting borning.

  "Hey..." Those 3 periods again. "How do you feel about getting together sometime?"

  "I really don't know."

  "Oh? Are you seeing someone?"

  "Nothing serious, but you move a bit fast for me."

  "I'll make it worth your while, I promise."

  "How so?"

  "Is there a reason you're being nasty?"

  "I didn't know I was, but you popping in after 20 years without a word after you moved away is a bit much for me right now. But you take care." I closed the window.

   Twelve hours later, I was sitting at my desk at work when Gil popped in. "Yo, how goes the lady life?"

  "You know, I had dinner with that Donna person last week, but apart from that nada. I didn't hear back from that psycho Wendy, either."

  "Oh shit, don't get me started on her! She sent me one fuckin' axe murder email about you. "

  "Axe murder?!"

  "Just means psychotic. I get the feeling she was anxious to meet you because she's repelled a lot of other guys."

  "Sounds right, Gil. Hey, a question, speaking of women."

  "Shoot."

  "If someone comes to you out of the blue after 20 years, what does it mean?"

   Gil laughed. "Probably means he or she is hitting you up for money."

  "I got that feeling, too."

  "Oh, this happened?"

  "Just last night. I cut her off."

  "Hung up?"

  "More like closed the chat window."

   Gil shook his head. "You and social media, I don't get it."

  "Neither do I, man, neither do I."

   About an hour later, Val stopped by. "Hey you!" She leaned over and planted a peck on my cheek.

   I blushed a bit as I replied, "What did I do to earn that?"

  "Well, I was talking to Donna last night, and she said your dinner last week was the best time she's had in a while."

   I grinned. "Ah! Then the kiss should be from her, right?"

  "It was...I was just passing it along from her."

  "Well, in that case," I leaned over and planted one on her right cheek. "Pass it back to her, when you see her next."

  "But if you see her first, I'll be carrying that message for nothing." She winked and blushed simultaneously.

  "If you don't find a recipient, give it back to me, I could use more."

   Val looked around a moment, then put her lips full into mine. No tongue, but it was getting me quite aroused. After what seemed like a pleasant eternity, she slowly pulled back. "Could you use more like that?" she asked in a husky voice.

   I gazed at her as I nodded. "Definitely!"

   She winked again as she walked away. I just sat there for a while dazzled and, as I looked down, still aroused!


   That night, I decided to try Donna on the phone. After three rings, she answered, "Hello there!"

  "Hi, just wanted to check in to see what was going on."

  "Just work really, as usual. I told you my life is hectic."

  "I know. That's why I wanted to get in a hello when I could."

   She laughed. "Well, hello back." A short pause, then "I really don't know when and really if we'll get together again."

  "Oh? I get the when, but confused by the if."

   Another pause. "Well...I was talking to Val the other night. I got the impression that she had some repressed hots for you."

  "Interesting."

  "Do you find her attractive?"

  "I do, but I try to keep that stuff to myself when it comes to colleagues. These days it can mean job security."

  "I get that, but I don't think you'd have that fear with her. What I'm getting at is I don't want to get into a triangle. I have no time for it."

  "Sure. But I'm not losing your number."

  "Please don't! I like us being friends, and I don't want to exactly friend 'zone' you, either...just let it ride, ok?"

   I smiled. "You got it!"

   We clicked off and then I went on to Facebook. I saw my messenger icon blinking, so I opened it. It was Tessa again.

  "What is your problem?"

   I sighed. "No problem," I typed. "Just too much going on."

  "Oh. I thought you said there wasn't anyone."

  "That doesn't mean I don't have things going on! I told you I recently got a divorce, and I'm not exactly recovered from that."

  "I understand that. I was married for a bit too in Arizona. I totally get you need some space for yourself."

  "Thank you."

  "That said, I would like to meet sometime. Not tomorrow or the next day, but sometime soon. Please?"

  "All right. I generally treat myself to dinner out on Fridays. Want to meet then?"

  "You bet! Name the place."

To be continued...

Laughlin

So where and what is Laughlin? To the out of towners that come to Vegas, get their jollies and fly back home in a flash, it does not exist, Las Vegas is their playground. However, for the desert denizens of the southwest, it is a hidden paradise that offers much...all depending on what you look for. And I mean hidden! Nestled in the Colorado River Valley between U.S. 93 and U.S. 95, you have to WANT to get there to find it. There are signs all over the place advertising it. The problem (for many) is the drive.

The drive is a LOT of empty desert, about 95 miles from Vegas via U.S. 95 and NV 163, and about 130 miles via U.S. 93 and AZ 68. It is best to have some drinks and maybe a snack before beginning the trek. One may ask, "Why in the world would you leave Las Vegas for another, even emptier, desert land?"

I believe the simple answer to this is WATER! Laughlin and its Arizona counterpart Bullhead City lie along the Colorado River at the north end of a very long valley. Despite the fact that these 2 towns are often the nation's hot spots, the river never really gets warmer than the low 50s due to coming out of a dam-created lake that's in a mountain shadow.

The river is what draws us there fairly often, though not often enough. This past weekend, we finally made it back there after a 2 1/2 year absence. What is there to do on the river? For many, jet-skiing is the water sport to do. There are a few scattered beaches on both the Nevada and Arizona sides to sun on as well.

And then there is a river cruise we love taking. For 90 minutes, you get a recorded tour and history of the Colorado River and the town of Laughlin itself, while enjoying cool beverages, a nice snack, or a full meal! Vickie once surprised me with the dinner cruise several years ago. It was quite the experience in the evening, hearing the tour and enjoying a salmon dinner. It was late summer and the sun was setting, creating a gorgeous red hue on the mountains to the east. Since then, we have tried to do the dinner cruise again, but it was canceled due to low sign-up volume that day. However, we have done the afternoon cruise many times since. The breezes from the river when you're on the upper deck create a quite pleasant experience.

Apart from that wonderful activity, what else does Laughlin have to offer? Well, as it is in Nevada, it has become a major gambling center in its own right. About 7 hotel/casinos line the river's west shore. Lots of slot, table, and sportsbook play make it a Vegas-like experience. There is a major difference I have noted, however, between the 2 towns. Laughlin is the Lambda Lambda Lambda to Vegas's Alpha Beta.

While Vegas has all of the glitz and glamour (skin-deep only, mind you) with golden revolving doors almost forcing you into it, Laughlin's main hotels pretty much have you opening regular doors yourself. While Vegas has gorgeous cocktail waitresses, Laughlin tends to have the middle-aged post-glamour set serving the beers and cocktails. While Vegas has the limos, fancy valet dropoffs and pickups, and sense of transportational style, Laughlin has the sense of regular people coming from Fresno to get away for a day or so, with tight parking garages and laid-back valet drivers.

Also, some of the hotels in Laughlin are good, some need TLC. For the most part, we have stayed at either the Aquarius or Don Laughlin's Riverside, both pretty good in terms of basic but comfortable rooms. One time, we stayed at the Edgewater which wasn't all that great, and another time at the Colorado Belle which, while great-looking with it's riverboat motif at night, is rather run-down in its hotel itself. Down further are the Golden Nugget and Harrah's, both hotels we avoid due to high cost per night in the past, though in summer during the middle of the week there are some sweet deals! Down the valley about 15 miles away, there is a place called the Avi, which is on a reservation. We've stayed there a few times, and it is decent. The only problem is it is far from Laughlin's main river action. On the plus side, the Avi has a bowling alley and movie theatres.

Across the river is Bullhead City, Arizona, which looks thrown together at certain places, not really atractive, and is stretched out over about a 20 mile length. That said, Bullhead has most of the major businesses such as restaurants and gas stations that Laughlin does not contain. On the subject of gas, it is always better price-wise to fill up on the Arizona side due to lower costs. Example: in Laughlin yesterday, the gas was $3.39 a gallon, In Bullhead, many stations were below $2.50 a gallon. Let's be smart here! I think one of the reasons Arizona has good gas prices is because their stations don't have the detergents that Nevada stations get from California refineries (you know, where all those refinery problems happen yearly?).

If one desires, they can trek further south about 20 miles from Laughlin to Needles, California. Unlike the town's Route 66 heyday, it is pretty run-down and depressing...and VERY HIGH gas-wise! Even the locals trek over to Arizona to save a buck or more per gallon! There are some halfway decent eateries there along with some cooked-up Route 66 memorabilia shops, but unless the state of California gives Needles some TLC, it will be a ghost town soon.

Trekking a bit southeast, speaking of Route 66, one can get a glimpse at a classic 66 town in Oatman, Arizona. It is small to be sure, but contains a lot of wild burros orphaned originally by the desertion of the gold mine decades ago. The town is quite alive thanks to bikers who love taking on the switchbacks of the old highway betwene Oatman and Kingman. 66 was rerouted to a straighter alignment in the early 50s as the Oatman path was the most dangerous part of the entire highway due to the steep grades along with the switchbacks.

In closing, we love Laughlin because of the river, time spent together, and places to explore outside of town while not getting too far away. It is far from perfect, but so are we, so it is a perfect match!

The Divorcé part 2

   The dating game for me, Sam Chapin, recently got reignited, though it was a low flame that was extinguished within 5 minutes, if that. The woman came, sat, got mildly psycho, then left. She made a pretty clear implication that she was prepared to do me a sexual service if I asked nicely. Now, a lot of guys would jump at that opportunity, and the woman seemed like she'd be pleasant enough to 'jump', so to speak. That said, after a recent split up of a long term marriage, I'm leery of just jumping back into a scene I haven't been in for a couple of decades.

   About 5 days after that disaster, my friend Gil stopped in my office. A bit younger and thinner than me, and never married, he was proud of playing the field whenever he was in the mood...and the mood hit him and his loins a few times a week. "Hey, you never told me how it went with Wendy!"

   I studied a sheet of data as I replied. "It really didn't."

  "Huh?"

  "It was the quickest 5 minutes of hell I can remember aside from signing away my marriage."

   Gil sat. "Aw man, what happened?"

   I finally looked up. "Apparently I'm in need of getting laid, according to you."

   Gil held up his hands in defense. "Hey, I was just trying to sell the idea of you to her. Did she actually repeat that?"

  "Sure did. I was taken aback and probably reacted more honestly than necessary, but seeing that she's not a meat eater, I don't think we would have connected well, so no harm, no foul. That said, in the future don't advertise my lapses in the sack, it draws the wrong crowds."

   He nodded in thought. "Good point. Want me to keep looking?"

  "Not really. I need to get in touch with me a bit more before unleashing myself on the unsuspecting female population."

   Gil knocked on the desk, grinned, then left. A few minutes later, I felt a buzz on my phone. I looked...it was a response to an email I'd sent weeks ago to an old friend. Well, not exactly in the normal sense, just a friend of a friend on social media. She liked my shared warped memes and made a friend request years ago. It was strange, that social media world. So many political opinions and bantering. I was in a few groups for discussion, but often had to leave due to negative tangents.

   I looked at the email. It was a woman named Donna, friends with a co-worker named Valerie. I'd asked if she had some movies we'd discussed in messenger. The reply I was reading indicated she wanted to talk in person. This was a tough one. While she might be a nice person to meet, I didn't want to kill something good and anonymous.

   Putting the phone away, I walked down the hall and entered what I dubbed "Cubicle City" where Valerie worked. I found her at her computer. "Hey."

   She looked up at me with her curly brown hair and glasses and smiled. "Hey you! What brings you down here?"

  "A question. Do you know Donna personally?"

  "Donna? Yeah, we do drinks after work every now and then. We hit up a male strip joint last month for the hell of it." She laughed at the memory. "I don't think her lap dance expected that big a tip!"

    I grinned. "She into that stuff?"

  "Eh, not sure. Like I said, we tried it just to try it." She tilted her head a bit. "Why do you ask?"

   I showed her the email. "Took me by surprise, but I wanted a slant on her before I responded either way."

   Val looked at it and shrugged. "I can't really advise you there, apart from saying she's a nice person. But I know your situation right now and I'm not really sure what you're after."

   I shrugged as well and smiled. "Me neither. Catch you later."

   At 7:00p.m. three days later, I sat at Joe's, a local hangout that does trivia one night a week. Joe himself, a 60ish guy who reminded me a bit of Howard Cosell with a toupee, brought me a vodka tonic. "How's it hangin', Sam?"

  "Same ol."

  "Eating anything tonight? Got a salmon filet on special."

  "I might later, not sure. Meeting someone soon."

   He whistled. "Isn't that a kick? I thought you'd be down for a while."

  "I might still be." As I took a pull on my drink, I saw the door open. In came a thin woman with straight black hair. She was wearing tight jeans and a blue t-shirt, quite casual. That was ok, Joe's was a casual place. She looked around, much less awkwardly than Wendy had, spotted me, and held up a finger as she headed to the restroom.

   After about ten minutes, she approached me again and waved. "Hi."

  "Hello. Donna?"

  "That's me, and you must be Sam."

  "Definitely me. Would you like to sit here or at a table?"

    She looked around. "How about we stay here for a minute?"

  "Sure. Can I get you a drink?"

  "I can get my own," she said, but with no vehrmence. I shrugged in acceptance as she ordered a chardonnay from Joe. As she awaited her drink, she turned to me. "I bet you were surprised I made this suggestion."

   I grinned. "Well, you suggested meeting, I sugested the place."

   She looked around for a moment, then took her glas of wine from Joe. She sipped it, and made a small mmm sound. "I needed this today." She put her glass on the bar. "Well, my life is complicated. I do a little of this and that for a living, a lot of driving and phone and computer work. I like it that way, staying busy, you know?"

  "I do, but you don't need to justify yourself."

  "In a way, I do. You see, I don't usually seek people and they generally don't seek me, partially because I'm hard to pin down."

  "Valerie says you see each other fairly regularly."

  "Maybe once a month, twice if we're lucky.She's easy to get along with and doesn't get all serious on me, you know?"

  "I don't think I do."

  "I've had a few 'girlfriends' over the years and they want to get into my head, like we'll be lifelong buds if they know my innermost thoughts. Valerie just wants to have fun and that's perfect for me."

   I nodded as I took a pull. "I can see that. Being newly divorced, I don't want anyone in my head so much right now."

   Donna looked at me a moment as though trying to make a decision. "What about someone in your, or their, bed?"

   I shrugged. "That's fine, as long as it's not pushed upon me."

   She laughed. "Guys don't usually say or even think that."

  "I'm not in my 20s anymore, 30s for that matter. The virtue of patience has grown with recent events."

   She nodded and smiled, then pulled some DVDs out of her purse. "These are for you."

   I looked at them. Some Bogart, Poitier, and the director's cut of Eyes Wide Shut, all things we'd discussed. "You own these?"

  "No, you do."

  "Why thank you! A pleasant surprise indeed! I feel bad for not having anything for you."

   Donna took the seat next to me. "I think we can discuss that for another time, but not tonight. You're very likeable, and I think we have another time waiting for us."

   I couldn't help a smile. "You're likeable as well. I don't suppose you are hungry?"

  "I am. Let's get a table and eat."

To be continued.....

The Divorcé...part 1

   Sam Chapin's my name, recently divorced is my game.  It's been a while since that day she left, about 3 months now. No kids to fight over, and no real property since we both rented a condo and had our own cars. Most of our pictures together were in "the cloud", and I guess they'll stay there. I don't visit it. She probably doesn't either. No longer friends on any social media. No longer really on each others' phones. No reason to. She has a good job and can make it on her own without my support, and I am doing fine as well. She took some dishes and one of the TVs and darted out as fast as she could. I never knew if there was another guy, though there were a few hushed calls in the final months. Right before Christmas. It was almost like a present.

   Do I still love her? Hard to say, there's always a feeling for or at someone when you've spent 18 years together. Maybe getting married at 26 was too soon. Too immature maybe? I know people who got married before that and are still together, as well as those who married later and gave up. All a crap shoot as far as I can tell.

   I wondered if I gave up too easily at the time, like I should have begged or suggested marital counseling. Trouble was, I had stopped putting effort shoretly after she did. The marriage had become like a daily tradition. Meals together, watched movies here and there together, fucked maybe once a month and that was like a planned event, like I had to be penciled in. No early morning suprises, not even by the middle years. She didn't even like exploring different apsects of sex, liked it straight on like a lullaby because she went to sleep soon after.

   Three months later, I was sitting in a booth at the local diner. Some shnook at work set me up with "the perfect" woman for me. I haven't been looking, there has not been a desire to 'get back in the saddle' so to speak, but I was doing it as a favor. Plus I was hungry.

   Several people, mostly in family packs, had walked in. As I sipped my coffee I watched the parking lot idly, not really excited about the upcoming meeting. After about twenty minutes, a lone woman came in. Hard to tell how old she was, maybe 44 like me, but she looked younger. Her thin frame turned with her face as she glanced around then found me. She smiled that smile that says, Whew, glad I found you before I looked like a total dipshit. She sat down across from me, keeping that smile. "Hi, I'm Wendy", she said as she extended her hand.

   I shook it carefully. Nice soft hands. Dry. A good sign. "I'm Samuel, though people just call me Sam."

  "Yes, Gil told me." She released her grip as the server came up and offered us menus. We took them, though I knew what I wanted. She looked at the menu for what seemed like an eternity. "Is anything good here?"

    "I like the reuben, though the personal pizzas are pretty good."

   Wendy made a small crinkle-nose expression. "Not really a meat-eater, I think I'll do a small salad."

   I nodded and smiled, not in approval, but in the knowledge that this would be our only 'date'. "So what did Gil tell you about me?"

   She closed her menu in final decision and folded her hands on the table. "That you're divorced and need to get laid."

   I almost spit out my coffee in shock. "Beg your pardon?"

   She smiled again, but I could see no real warmth or even humor...it was almost wolfish, even in that blue jacket and skirt. "That's what he said."

  "Well, I am divorced, that is the truth. Having said that, I am fully happy in surviving that situation with flying colors. As for needing to get laid, I'm all for a great party, but that's not why I'm here."

   The wolfish smile morphed into a cold stare. "Why are you here then?"

   I sighed. "Curiosity, hunger, and obligation."

  "You were NOT obliged to meet me." Her face was a deep crimson now.

  "I was obliged to Gil since he's a friend and he's helped me a lot over the years. I was indeed curious to see how this would turn out, and as it has been a long day, I'm hungry.Would you like to eat with me?"

   Without another word, Wendy stood up and walked out. As she got to some car I couldn't quite make out, I thought of the movie The Matrix where the heroes could lean back to dodge bullets. The mere mention of the word 'obligation' was the dodge that probably saved my ass.

   The server came back with a smile. "She wasn't hungry?"

  "Hungry for herself. As for me, it's reuben time!"

   And with that, the post-divorce dating game had begun!