Well, I've finally arrived at what could be the most painful time in life I can remember. I think I've been avoiding this one deliberately, as I still have nightmares about it.
My time at Tom Williams had ended, and my time at Gilbert was beginning. Originally, Gilbert was a mere 3 miles from our apartment. That is, it was close until our apartment had a foreclosure notice stamped on the door on my checkout day at TW! In the 2-3 week August break, we had to pack and find a new place. At $100 less a month, we found a place 6 miles from Gilbert! That meant my commute had gone down by 1 mile total. It also meant I had NO time to go in and prep my new room.
Come back to school week for teachers, I tried to focus on all the opening crap while trying to figure out how to organize my room, especially since the previous teacher had left so much crap in there! With little to go on, I started my year.
It went pretty well at first. I was now doing 4th grade and the class was pretty nice. I met some nice staff members as well. There was a period a few times a week called explorations where students went to another room and learned a craft or skill. I teamed with the resource teacher on a few of them, it was pretty fun. The fun lasted about 2 months.
When one is used to having a break in November for seven years straight, NOT having one suddenly creates an exhaustion. On top of that, my grandmother's health was getting worse, so we spent our anniversary weekend in San Diego to spend some time with her. Coming back, school was getting ready for a December showcase event so the focus was on that as well as academics. In December, our master bathroom was leaking water from above, so the plaster and plumbing had to be redone.
After Christmas, the principal was coming down on me for lack of proper classroom decoration as well as my teaching style and classroom management. I was already exhausted so why not extend that via stress? I moved desks around and made a bonehead move in terms of student placement...and classroom management went right out the window. It got so bad that the principal had me watch the literacy specialist teach for a while. If this didn't de-spirit any teacher, I don't know what would.
In February, Vickie finally found her father after years of searching. In April, we got a chance to go up and see him during spring break while my mom watched Natalie. That was the highlight of my school year, and that's saying a lot. In class, the kids knew quite well that I was no longer in charge. The principal and I agreed that I'd put in for voluntary transfer in May. However, the school's numbers were just right, so there were no eligible transfers for our school...I was stuck. The principal was on my back, the vice principal was joining in, and the literacy specialist was doing a good job giving me a guilt complex over her added duty of helping me. My therapist was earning her money for sure!
With all of the stress building on me, I had enough. The year wasn't ending well, so in early-mid May, thanks to a suggestion from the school counselor, I put in for family medical leave. I was actually thinking of starting a new career as a cubicle-imprisoned accountant where all i had to do was work with numbers. However, after a couple of months, I was calming down. I was also under the effect of a powerful antidepressant that scrambled my brains a bit.
Fair to say, I can't end it there. In August, I was informed by the boss that I would be coming back as the literacy specialist and not a teacher. Interesting development. On return, we had a meeting over my actions in the previous year and I immediately detected her displeasure at me being there again. Easy to tell she didn't like me much. I was the chink in her otherwise perfect school.
So, I was testing students to see their reading levels, doing morning bus duty, and lunch recess duty. Once I'd tested the students, I had to create a schedule to meet with small groups. After a few stumbles, I was finally coming up with a smooth groove that lasted about 2 weeks. Then count day came, the day when student populations are measured to determine teacher need. As it turned out, there was an extra teacher: me! As agreed from the previous spring, I was to be the volunteer. We parted somewhat amicably. The other cool thing was that we were moving again, this time to a more desirable place. We were there for the last 4 days of my time at Gilbert, making it a longer commute but that was ok, the end was near. I was to begin at Darnell Elementary on October 10, with an intro to my new 4th grade class on the 7th. Indeed, my 10th year of teaching was getting interesting.
Overall, I have to say that Gilbert is a good school and they do good things there. It was just a matter of external factors along with a personality clash with my boss that made the actual teaching part hell. Great school, great kids, under different circumstances, I think I would have had a greater time of it there.
Friday, June 3, 2016
Wednesday, March 23, 2016
14 Years of Good Morning and Class Dismissed, parts 7 and 8
2008-09
The first real year at the new building was filled with joy and stress...as always. The joy came in the form of new technology and natural sunlight getting into my room. The stress came in the form of usual Tom Williams bullshit. New building, same shit, just with 2 floors now. The new computer lab was awesome, as was the new speaker/microphone system. The electronic whiteboard was neat for math, and the ELMO was pretty cool.
As the year began, actually even before the first day with kids, we got treated to a view of the old building being razed. I almost expected to see dead bodies being unearthed, for some reason. Also in the year's beginning, our friend Richard had a major heart attack and passed. The year was a bit marred by his loss.
Come day one, it was a full house in all 5th grade rooms. Come middle of September, a new teacher was added to alleviate the crowds. Overall I had a pretty good class, the usual set of personalities were in place. This was the first year I could remember that I had an attitude-filled female group.
Vickie and I were in the process of trying to see if she could get pregnant via in vitro. All that was missing was funding. Things looked bleak until we got a nice surprise from my dad: he and his wife would fund our effort. It was a success, and on my 36th birthday Vickie told me, "Happy birthday, daddy!" Talk about your proud moments in life!
The rest of the year in many ways was a blur. Many doctor appointments occurred because it was a high-risk pregnancy. I had to give Vickie shots to make sure everything was good. As concentration on Vickie and the joy inside her grew, my focus on work faded a bit. I did my job and all, but my focus on making learning interesting and fun was getting blurry. The class could tell, too. It was getting rough, but not nearly as rough as 4 years ago.
As Spring rolled into Summer, the doctor visits were getting more frequent to monitor the baby's progress and heartbeat. At home we had 3 cats, one of whom was a major safety risk for the baby. Sadly we had to give her to a new owner.
I missed the entire final week of school because of a little thing called our daughter's birth. Her name was Natalie and our lives changed forever....and so did mine the next year.
2009-10
If I could go back and change one thing about this year, it would be to take Family Medical Leave for the first few weeks. I was low on sleep and energy. New babies do that to parents.
During the first staff development days, we were learning the Kagan class management system. It is easy to practice activities with adults, another thing with kids. I was barely awake for any of this.
The year commenced with a good group of kids. Despite my lack of sleep, I really enjoyed this group. I also got to practice a lot of my graduate school activities and ideas with the group. The fall seemed to go pretty well.
Come winter, I was called into the office and the boss laid into me for not doing my job well. In one way I could see her point. Natalie occupied many of my thoughts and I was always ready to race home to see her and Vickie. On the other hand, Kagan and a new reading time system called the Daily 5 had become mandatory in February and it was a lot to handle on top of all the programs the school had.
The clincher came when the following year's assignments came down...I was going to be placed in Kindergarten. I knew it was designed to get me out and I took the hint. The next few months were fairly lame duck for me, although I still enjoyed teaching that group right to the end. The final 5th grade graduation was a sad one for me.
I think what stands out for me is the last day when I was ready to check out. Kristie checked me out on a clipboard and walked out, saying "Good luck at your new school." No handshake, no hug for 8 years of acquaintanceship....pretty cold. In fact, a lot of people had gotten cold in the final 4 months. Goes to show what the term "fair-weather" friends really means.
That being said, my year at the new school was going to show exactly what hell could be like.
The first real year at the new building was filled with joy and stress...as always. The joy came in the form of new technology and natural sunlight getting into my room. The stress came in the form of usual Tom Williams bullshit. New building, same shit, just with 2 floors now. The new computer lab was awesome, as was the new speaker/microphone system. The electronic whiteboard was neat for math, and the ELMO was pretty cool.
As the year began, actually even before the first day with kids, we got treated to a view of the old building being razed. I almost expected to see dead bodies being unearthed, for some reason. Also in the year's beginning, our friend Richard had a major heart attack and passed. The year was a bit marred by his loss.
Come day one, it was a full house in all 5th grade rooms. Come middle of September, a new teacher was added to alleviate the crowds. Overall I had a pretty good class, the usual set of personalities were in place. This was the first year I could remember that I had an attitude-filled female group.
Vickie and I were in the process of trying to see if she could get pregnant via in vitro. All that was missing was funding. Things looked bleak until we got a nice surprise from my dad: he and his wife would fund our effort. It was a success, and on my 36th birthday Vickie told me, "Happy birthday, daddy!" Talk about your proud moments in life!
The rest of the year in many ways was a blur. Many doctor appointments occurred because it was a high-risk pregnancy. I had to give Vickie shots to make sure everything was good. As concentration on Vickie and the joy inside her grew, my focus on work faded a bit. I did my job and all, but my focus on making learning interesting and fun was getting blurry. The class could tell, too. It was getting rough, but not nearly as rough as 4 years ago.
As Spring rolled into Summer, the doctor visits were getting more frequent to monitor the baby's progress and heartbeat. At home we had 3 cats, one of whom was a major safety risk for the baby. Sadly we had to give her to a new owner.
I missed the entire final week of school because of a little thing called our daughter's birth. Her name was Natalie and our lives changed forever....and so did mine the next year.
2009-10
If I could go back and change one thing about this year, it would be to take Family Medical Leave for the first few weeks. I was low on sleep and energy. New babies do that to parents.
During the first staff development days, we were learning the Kagan class management system. It is easy to practice activities with adults, another thing with kids. I was barely awake for any of this.
The year commenced with a good group of kids. Despite my lack of sleep, I really enjoyed this group. I also got to practice a lot of my graduate school activities and ideas with the group. The fall seemed to go pretty well.
Come winter, I was called into the office and the boss laid into me for not doing my job well. In one way I could see her point. Natalie occupied many of my thoughts and I was always ready to race home to see her and Vickie. On the other hand, Kagan and a new reading time system called the Daily 5 had become mandatory in February and it was a lot to handle on top of all the programs the school had.
The clincher came when the following year's assignments came down...I was going to be placed in Kindergarten. I knew it was designed to get me out and I took the hint. The next few months were fairly lame duck for me, although I still enjoyed teaching that group right to the end. The final 5th grade graduation was a sad one for me.
I think what stands out for me is the last day when I was ready to check out. Kristie checked me out on a clipboard and walked out, saying "Good luck at your new school." No handshake, no hug for 8 years of acquaintanceship....pretty cold. In fact, a lot of people had gotten cold in the final 4 months. Goes to show what the term "fair-weather" friends really means.
That being said, my year at the new school was going to show exactly what hell could be like.
Sunday, February 14, 2016
14 Years of Good Morning and Class Dismissed, parts 5 and 6
With the end of the 2005-06 school year, I emerged a much happier person than at the end of the previous year. I credit much of this to my love, roommate and fiancee Vickie. Her presence in my life had saved me finally from the cruel world of dating and utter loneliness.With that, I was ready to tackle the next year, not knowing what the end of it would bring.
2006-07
For the first time in 3 years, I had what could be considered a dream class. Most if not all were quite eager to begin the year, and they could tell that I was eager as well. Of course I was eager! I was a man about to get married and take a few days off over then next few weekends to attend 2 weddings: my mom's and my friend Scott's.
We got new science kits that fall, which made for better science lessons and activities. I also moved away from Judy Blume books and read some Roald Dahl books to them. The class was not perfect, I had those few characters that, well, balance a class. I liked that balance. I also had a repeat student form the first grade days. The feeling of full circle was pretty nice.
I also met 2 new coworkers who were pretty nice: Matt and Robyn, both coming from the same school. We did lunch together at several staff developments.
Before I knew it, the end of October had arrived. The staff threw some sort of half-hearted wedding shower after school. I don't know what it is that makes people feel they need to do something. However, I must also admit that events from 2 years previous still stung....and, sad to say, still do to this day. Luckily, track break was also starting and we could focus on the wedding. Apart from some interesting hitches, we were married on November 11. We couldn't afford a honeymoon, so we took a road trip for a couple of days. Right before track break ended, we joined my mom and her new husband in Big Bear for Thanksgiving.
For the first time in forever, I was not with my parents for Christmas. I had a new bride and it was time to spend the special day with her at home. We already had her cat Mitzy and we added a new one to our home during Christmas, an orange feisty number named Layla.
Back to school, things were going pretty well. Parent conferences were in January for a change. Soon into Spring (meaning late February) we got the news that the new school building was about to enter construction. What that meant for a lot of us was that we were moving into portables before year's end. The move occurred shortly before the final track break. It was actually not so bad this time as everything, particularly the AC, worked just fine. We glided through the rest of the year in slightly more cramped quarters, but our good relationship made it work well.
This was short, I know. I guess it is easier to discuss the bad times than the good times in more detail. What it comes down to is, this particular year was one of my favorites, next to my recent 4 years of teaching 2nd grade. With that I will flow right into...
2007-08
This year started with a summer thunderstorm, which is actually a good way to start a year, particularly in Vegas. Of course, we were starting in the portables, as the new building was still heavily under construction.
What really comes to mind this year is a girl who was in the middle of a nasty custody suit. Eventually the dad came escorted by the assistant principal Kevin to get her. We never saw her again.
The class itself was good. This year I had 2 boys from 4 years ago. Another standout fact was that as the year progressed, my class dwindled in number. By the end I had less than 20 kids.
On a personal note, Vickie and I were trying to see if we were healthy enough to have a baby via in vitro. On that journey, we discovered she had a benign brain tumor. It was zapped using a heavy yet concentrated gamma ray in January.
Of course, this was the final year for the old outdoor school. 51 years of service was about to come to an end.
Some other disturbing things were happening as well. Some of the old guard whom old principal Linda had been promoted to being Kristie's underlings. In other words, the old spy network was in place under a new boss. Well, Kristie was made principal 3 years previously, but no waves had been made yet. Now that she was comfy in her position, she was getting a power trip.
In the summer of 2008, the new building was opened and we had to get things packed in a hurry to transfer belongings to our new rooms. We got to spend the last few weeks in our new rooms and it was a good feel. Strange, though. Being in an entirely indoor environment was nice, but it felt very generic. I was about to find out just what hell could be like.
2006-07
For the first time in 3 years, I had what could be considered a dream class. Most if not all were quite eager to begin the year, and they could tell that I was eager as well. Of course I was eager! I was a man about to get married and take a few days off over then next few weekends to attend 2 weddings: my mom's and my friend Scott's.
We got new science kits that fall, which made for better science lessons and activities. I also moved away from Judy Blume books and read some Roald Dahl books to them. The class was not perfect, I had those few characters that, well, balance a class. I liked that balance. I also had a repeat student form the first grade days. The feeling of full circle was pretty nice.
I also met 2 new coworkers who were pretty nice: Matt and Robyn, both coming from the same school. We did lunch together at several staff developments.
Before I knew it, the end of October had arrived. The staff threw some sort of half-hearted wedding shower after school. I don't know what it is that makes people feel they need to do something. However, I must also admit that events from 2 years previous still stung....and, sad to say, still do to this day. Luckily, track break was also starting and we could focus on the wedding. Apart from some interesting hitches, we were married on November 11. We couldn't afford a honeymoon, so we took a road trip for a couple of days. Right before track break ended, we joined my mom and her new husband in Big Bear for Thanksgiving.
For the first time in forever, I was not with my parents for Christmas. I had a new bride and it was time to spend the special day with her at home. We already had her cat Mitzy and we added a new one to our home during Christmas, an orange feisty number named Layla.
Back to school, things were going pretty well. Parent conferences were in January for a change. Soon into Spring (meaning late February) we got the news that the new school building was about to enter construction. What that meant for a lot of us was that we were moving into portables before year's end. The move occurred shortly before the final track break. It was actually not so bad this time as everything, particularly the AC, worked just fine. We glided through the rest of the year in slightly more cramped quarters, but our good relationship made it work well.
This was short, I know. I guess it is easier to discuss the bad times than the good times in more detail. What it comes down to is, this particular year was one of my favorites, next to my recent 4 years of teaching 2nd grade. With that I will flow right into...
2007-08
This year started with a summer thunderstorm, which is actually a good way to start a year, particularly in Vegas. Of course, we were starting in the portables, as the new building was still heavily under construction.
What really comes to mind this year is a girl who was in the middle of a nasty custody suit. Eventually the dad came escorted by the assistant principal Kevin to get her. We never saw her again.
The class itself was good. This year I had 2 boys from 4 years ago. Another standout fact was that as the year progressed, my class dwindled in number. By the end I had less than 20 kids.
On a personal note, Vickie and I were trying to see if we were healthy enough to have a baby via in vitro. On that journey, we discovered she had a benign brain tumor. It was zapped using a heavy yet concentrated gamma ray in January.
Of course, this was the final year for the old outdoor school. 51 years of service was about to come to an end.
Some other disturbing things were happening as well. Some of the old guard whom old principal Linda had been promoted to being Kristie's underlings. In other words, the old spy network was in place under a new boss. Well, Kristie was made principal 3 years previously, but no waves had been made yet. Now that she was comfy in her position, she was getting a power trip.
In the summer of 2008, the new building was opened and we had to get things packed in a hurry to transfer belongings to our new rooms. We got to spend the last few weeks in our new rooms and it was a good feel. Strange, though. Being in an entirely indoor environment was nice, but it felt very generic. I was about to find out just what hell could be like.
Saturday, February 6, 2016
14 Years of Good Morning...Class Dismissed, part 4
All I can say about the end of the previous year is WHEW!! I previously mentioned that I've gone through a few deaths and rebirths in my teaching career. 2005 was definitely one of those rebirths. I ran to San Diego for a much-needed battery recharge in August on the final day of school. I was relieved, broken, and afraid; relieved to be done with that horrible year, broken because so much had been lost in me, and afraid because the next year might bring more of the same.
In San Diego, my mom got me a book called "The Reluctant Disciplinarian". It read it, nodding and understanding immediately what my problem had been. In first grade, I had never encountered a situation in which tough yet loving discipline had been necessary. In 5th grade it had been vital and I didn't have those skills.
In the dating world, things had cooled...and I was not nearly as frustrated by that as I once had been. Thanks to a special lady friend in the spring, a lot of old stresses went away. Yes, I still had disastrous dates, but it didn't affect me psyche-wise. In fact, the disasters helped to make a big decision soon.
2005-2006
The year commenced with a brief revisit to the previous hellish year in terms of a meeting to discuss an incident. I just shrugged it off, knowing that was the past. I couldn't control it, but I sure as hell could learn from it!
With that, I got my new room ready. Yes, I was back in a real building. What was even better was Dorothy the 4th grade teacher and I had a system for covering each other for bathroom breaks or emergency copying. Everything just felt new again, but in a more harmonious fashion. Plans for discipline and reading groups got more solid, and I felt more prepared than before. I got my new group and was pleased with the turnout. There were still a few with rough edges, but I felt better prepared to take them as they were. With a new student recognition program, we were a pretty happy family for a long while. It was not by any means perfect, but my soul was more harmonious with real life.
On the dating front, I had met a new person who, like others, had hangups. After a 2nd date, we parted ways and I made a decision to drop the dating for a while. Looking back at that decision today, I believe it set up a later marvelous event!
Back to the year, I had the usual status of an occasional student coming and one leaving, it happens every year. Other than that, we had good harmony in pretty much all subject areas. Another boon to the year was 2 new specialists. Erica was our new art teacher and Christy S was the new music teacher. They both brought a positive new vibe.
For Halloween I dressed as the Riddler with Erica's design help. On Nevada Day Eve I went out drinking with some friends. I have rarely gotten plastered, it is just not my thing. In this case, however, it was an opportunity to cleanse the remainder of the bad spirits from the previous year.
Then came track break. I spent the first part of it spending a few nights at a friend's house so she'd feel safe while her sister was away. That was odd to say the least, sleeping on a couch while a cat occasionally kneaded me. Then I went to Arizona to see my grandma and then to San Diego for a short bit. I was still in such good spirits in December that I even bought a little artificial tree for the classroom.
However, by Christmastime, I was feeling different. The school stuff was fine, but the loneliness and celibacy were getting stale and I decided to re-enter the dating world again. I hope it would be different. After New Year on 2006, I got into it again....only to discover that nothing had changed. I don't think I'd expected it to, just wishful thinking. One or 2 more 1-night stands and a short-term relationship in January brought nothing. However, one ad caught my eye, and after waiting out the end of the mentioned relationship, I decided I wanted meet this girl. Her name was Vickie.
We had quite the long date (that's another story, though) and my heart was just pounding with joy at the end of it, anxious to see her again. Before I return to the classroom, I need to note that I've never professed love for anyone on a second date previously...and that was my final 2nd date in life!
Back to the classroom, the year progressed well with the exception of one day when there was a lockdown at our school from 12:30-5:30. We stayed as comfy as we could, but it was still stressful.
As Spring rolled in and out, Vickie and I deepened our relationship, and I saw some old negative things happening in class. However, it was a minority, not majority, of the class population, just a couple of boys who thought they were the bomb. It also went to show that returning from summer track break for the last few weeks while older siblings were on summer vacation makes some fifth graders downright rebellious. Even at my best that was impossible to stop. However, by year's end, I felt pretty good.
On the last day, Vickie and I had a nice dinner at the Top of the World at the Stratosphere and then went to Mesquite for the night. A year earlier, I was a defeated teacher, this year I'd overcome all of that and was at a good place. The next year would continue that good feeling, although at the end it was a bit different.
In San Diego, my mom got me a book called "The Reluctant Disciplinarian". It read it, nodding and understanding immediately what my problem had been. In first grade, I had never encountered a situation in which tough yet loving discipline had been necessary. In 5th grade it had been vital and I didn't have those skills.
In the dating world, things had cooled...and I was not nearly as frustrated by that as I once had been. Thanks to a special lady friend in the spring, a lot of old stresses went away. Yes, I still had disastrous dates, but it didn't affect me psyche-wise. In fact, the disasters helped to make a big decision soon.
2005-2006
The year commenced with a brief revisit to the previous hellish year in terms of a meeting to discuss an incident. I just shrugged it off, knowing that was the past. I couldn't control it, but I sure as hell could learn from it!
With that, I got my new room ready. Yes, I was back in a real building. What was even better was Dorothy the 4th grade teacher and I had a system for covering each other for bathroom breaks or emergency copying. Everything just felt new again, but in a more harmonious fashion. Plans for discipline and reading groups got more solid, and I felt more prepared than before. I got my new group and was pleased with the turnout. There were still a few with rough edges, but I felt better prepared to take them as they were. With a new student recognition program, we were a pretty happy family for a long while. It was not by any means perfect, but my soul was more harmonious with real life.
On the dating front, I had met a new person who, like others, had hangups. After a 2nd date, we parted ways and I made a decision to drop the dating for a while. Looking back at that decision today, I believe it set up a later marvelous event!
Back to the year, I had the usual status of an occasional student coming and one leaving, it happens every year. Other than that, we had good harmony in pretty much all subject areas. Another boon to the year was 2 new specialists. Erica was our new art teacher and Christy S was the new music teacher. They both brought a positive new vibe.
For Halloween I dressed as the Riddler with Erica's design help. On Nevada Day Eve I went out drinking with some friends. I have rarely gotten plastered, it is just not my thing. In this case, however, it was an opportunity to cleanse the remainder of the bad spirits from the previous year.
Then came track break. I spent the first part of it spending a few nights at a friend's house so she'd feel safe while her sister was away. That was odd to say the least, sleeping on a couch while a cat occasionally kneaded me. Then I went to Arizona to see my grandma and then to San Diego for a short bit. I was still in such good spirits in December that I even bought a little artificial tree for the classroom.
However, by Christmastime, I was feeling different. The school stuff was fine, but the loneliness and celibacy were getting stale and I decided to re-enter the dating world again. I hope it would be different. After New Year on 2006, I got into it again....only to discover that nothing had changed. I don't think I'd expected it to, just wishful thinking. One or 2 more 1-night stands and a short-term relationship in January brought nothing. However, one ad caught my eye, and after waiting out the end of the mentioned relationship, I decided I wanted meet this girl. Her name was Vickie.
We had quite the long date (that's another story, though) and my heart was just pounding with joy at the end of it, anxious to see her again. Before I return to the classroom, I need to note that I've never professed love for anyone on a second date previously...and that was my final 2nd date in life!
Back to the classroom, the year progressed well with the exception of one day when there was a lockdown at our school from 12:30-5:30. We stayed as comfy as we could, but it was still stressful.
As Spring rolled in and out, Vickie and I deepened our relationship, and I saw some old negative things happening in class. However, it was a minority, not majority, of the class population, just a couple of boys who thought they were the bomb. It also went to show that returning from summer track break for the last few weeks while older siblings were on summer vacation makes some fifth graders downright rebellious. Even at my best that was impossible to stop. However, by year's end, I felt pretty good.
On the last day, Vickie and I had a nice dinner at the Top of the World at the Stratosphere and then went to Mesquite for the night. A year earlier, I was a defeated teacher, this year I'd overcome all of that and was at a good place. The next year would continue that good feeling, although at the end it was a bit different.
Wednesday, February 3, 2016
14 Years of Good Morning...Class Dismissed, part 3
So far I've had 2 ok years. They weren't great by any means, as I was still learning to become, what I thought was, a good teacher. The year that was to follow made those first 2 years paradise. This is one of two years I have had hesitation in writing about, although this one was 11 years ago, I have have had time to put perspective on it.
2004-2005
This was my year to begin teaching 5th grade. I was moved from my broom closet in 1st grade row to a portable on the blacktop. I was excited at first, trying something new. We were adopting a new math program called Saxon, a hell lasting 4 years.
A few other issues emerged to cause problems before they began. First, it took a whole to get the AC installed on the portable, making it next to impossible to prep the room without sweating bullets. Also, I now felt distanced from the people I'd come to think of as friends. As I'd come to understand later, some friendships are built to last, many more are situational. On top of all that, my personal life was really sucking big time. Following my breakup with Gigi and a short-lived reunion with Treasa in the spring, I was having one disastrous date after another and getting quite discouraged...and this frustration was going to interfere big-time with my professional life.
A few teachers had left including Christy. It all blended into an entirely new feel, and it was disconcerting.
I had what many would consider a rough group. They were into gangsta rap and wrestling for the most part. I was also used to teaching younger kids, and the transition was a 12-month trial by fire, putting it mildly. Personality clashes and my own insecurities regarding these bigger, tougher kids led to many a day ending with my face red and body shaking after dismissal. 11 years later, I realize that if I'd had patience, flexibility, and a huge sense of humor, the year would have been a LOT smoother. However the dating hell had eroded much of that.
2 months of hell went by, although things eased a little bit by September's end, but just enough to keep me from having a nervous breakdown. I was also getting pressure form administration to get my act together, along with hearing some undertones of talking behind my back among teachers. My own fifth grade team wasn't the most sympathetic, either.
The first track break was most welcome, although that was also a big toll on my psyche in terms of relationships. In short, I had asked someone to come stay with me and maybe make it permanent. This was where my emotional state lay, a wreck waiting to happen...and it did. The situation unraveled within a week and I took her home to Texas. This boy needed some psychotherapy and fast! After a couple of sessions and a little trip to San Diego, I was feeling better and trying some new things with my class. For the time being, things were more tranquil.
However, temporary solutions not well thought-out and planned eventually crack, and by spring it was getting bad again. What did not help was the AC failing and us having a hot room for a while, like 2 months. The class was quite aware that my management sucked and took advantage at any given moment. My emotional state had evened out a bit. The dating still sucked, but with one person I had found a nice, if temporary source of sexual sustenance without the stress of first date bullshit.
That and therapy helped to create a wall between me and the class for the remainder of the year.
In class, it was just getting worse. The boys were turning out the lights to have a wrestling match in the dark, and kids were stealing my stuff. One or two of the boys were getting confrontational with me. By the time the final 4 weeks in July and August came, I was in survival mode. Admin was pissed at me for letting the kids do whatever, and the rumor undertones that it was my last year were really hitting my ears. Teachers with rooms near my portable were mad at me for the things my kids were doing...and rightly so. I really had thrown in the towel on that year.
During the last week, the boss made sure I wasn't alone with the kids to prevent a lawsuit from parents. Now, a lot of teachers would resent that. Not me! I was glad to have the backup and relief. I was a man in heaven on the last day. Really. I went home, grabbed a bag of clothes and headed to San Diego. It was a cloudy, humid day and there was a sudden rainfall leaving town. It was like a pressure leaving my body atr last. I laughed and cried for miles.
I learned a lot about myself that year...and about others I worked with. For myself, I learned that I needed healthy outlets outside of dating so that I could work without the emotional overhead. As for the others, I learned who the true friends were (very few) and who the fair-weather twerps were. Such knowledge is useful in any workplace, I just wished it had not taken so long to discover. The next year had its rough edges, but was nowhere near this one.
2004-2005
This was my year to begin teaching 5th grade. I was moved from my broom closet in 1st grade row to a portable on the blacktop. I was excited at first, trying something new. We were adopting a new math program called Saxon, a hell lasting 4 years.
A few other issues emerged to cause problems before they began. First, it took a whole to get the AC installed on the portable, making it next to impossible to prep the room without sweating bullets. Also, I now felt distanced from the people I'd come to think of as friends. As I'd come to understand later, some friendships are built to last, many more are situational. On top of all that, my personal life was really sucking big time. Following my breakup with Gigi and a short-lived reunion with Treasa in the spring, I was having one disastrous date after another and getting quite discouraged...and this frustration was going to interfere big-time with my professional life.
A few teachers had left including Christy. It all blended into an entirely new feel, and it was disconcerting.
I had what many would consider a rough group. They were into gangsta rap and wrestling for the most part. I was also used to teaching younger kids, and the transition was a 12-month trial by fire, putting it mildly. Personality clashes and my own insecurities regarding these bigger, tougher kids led to many a day ending with my face red and body shaking after dismissal. 11 years later, I realize that if I'd had patience, flexibility, and a huge sense of humor, the year would have been a LOT smoother. However the dating hell had eroded much of that.
2 months of hell went by, although things eased a little bit by September's end, but just enough to keep me from having a nervous breakdown. I was also getting pressure form administration to get my act together, along with hearing some undertones of talking behind my back among teachers. My own fifth grade team wasn't the most sympathetic, either.
The first track break was most welcome, although that was also a big toll on my psyche in terms of relationships. In short, I had asked someone to come stay with me and maybe make it permanent. This was where my emotional state lay, a wreck waiting to happen...and it did. The situation unraveled within a week and I took her home to Texas. This boy needed some psychotherapy and fast! After a couple of sessions and a little trip to San Diego, I was feeling better and trying some new things with my class. For the time being, things were more tranquil.
However, temporary solutions not well thought-out and planned eventually crack, and by spring it was getting bad again. What did not help was the AC failing and us having a hot room for a while, like 2 months. The class was quite aware that my management sucked and took advantage at any given moment. My emotional state had evened out a bit. The dating still sucked, but with one person I had found a nice, if temporary source of sexual sustenance without the stress of first date bullshit.
That and therapy helped to create a wall between me and the class for the remainder of the year.
In class, it was just getting worse. The boys were turning out the lights to have a wrestling match in the dark, and kids were stealing my stuff. One or two of the boys were getting confrontational with me. By the time the final 4 weeks in July and August came, I was in survival mode. Admin was pissed at me for letting the kids do whatever, and the rumor undertones that it was my last year were really hitting my ears. Teachers with rooms near my portable were mad at me for the things my kids were doing...and rightly so. I really had thrown in the towel on that year.
During the last week, the boss made sure I wasn't alone with the kids to prevent a lawsuit from parents. Now, a lot of teachers would resent that. Not me! I was glad to have the backup and relief. I was a man in heaven on the last day. Really. I went home, grabbed a bag of clothes and headed to San Diego. It was a cloudy, humid day and there was a sudden rainfall leaving town. It was like a pressure leaving my body atr last. I laughed and cried for miles.
I learned a lot about myself that year...and about others I worked with. For myself, I learned that I needed healthy outlets outside of dating so that I could work without the emotional overhead. As for the others, I learned who the true friends were (very few) and who the fair-weather twerps were. Such knowledge is useful in any workplace, I just wished it had not taken so long to discover. The next year had its rough edges, but was nowhere near this one.
Saturday, January 30, 2016
14 Years of Good Morning and Class Dismissed, part 2
With one year of teaching on my belt, I was ready to tackle a new year. Well, almost ready. The strange thing about a year-round school format is, we end one year in early August and start a new one a few weeks later. The body and spirit do not quite have a true chance to regroup. In my case, there were 2 things happening that set the 2003-04 year on a bad footing.
The first was my apartment having a leaky water heater. It got my floor pretty wet, as well as attracting flies. I'd been there only a year and already there were problems.
The second was a bit bigger. I'd had a sort-of regular thing going with a woman named Treasa for several months. Right before the new year began, she got engaged to another person. Not that I had expected the relationship to get to that point, but it was still a crusher. Timing can really suck!
The result of both those events was my lack of psyched up first-day, actually first week, energy. However, it came back, and I had a pretty good class. The standout student was an energetic little guy named Christian, who happened to be Treasa's nephew. He reminded me a lot of me at that age...therefore he drove me nuts at times.
That year we were finally using a basal reading series and were quite excited over the implementation of it. The 1st grade team was also sent offsite to a literacy training once a week. That was fine, except that if a sub didn't take the class, we were called back to school. Former 3rd grade teacher Heidi had joined our team and was a welcome cheery addition, while Christy moved to Kindergarten. Jennifer P became Jennifer O in September. I attended the wedding with Treasa as my date, but just as friends. Apart from all that, the year went about as usual, which meant utter chaos at all times. I also tutored a couple days a week after school, which brought a little more money.
I kept attending the Friday happy hours, although they came less frequently that year. On one of them I caught sight of 2 co-workers passionately kissing as I headed for my car. 12 years later, it's still an image hard to shake, but those were strange times.
Also in this year, I switched to a new track, which meant different vacay sets. The best one was the first, which lasted pretty much all of November. After another dismal parent conference turnout and another whipped-cream intensive pie-throwing booth, I set out for California. First Santa Rosa, then down to San Diego. I was actually away for most of the break.
It is tough to say what made this year so memorable...probably it was not so much the in-class business as my free time dating. I met several women that year...many of them were 1-time dates, others were a bit longer. One in particular was Gigi, whom I was "steady" with for the first few months of 2004, to use a 50s term. Another briefer one was named Indy in November of 2003. Both of them couldn't quite get why I couldn't get more into the relationships. I was just trying to enjoy life outside of work for a change.
Another distraction was going to the gym a few times a week. Earlier in the year I saw the girth and needed to get it down. I had a trainer and that kept me in check. By Christmas, I was looking pretty good.
However, the myriad of women that I met that year was taking its toll on my sense of self-worth. I was 31 and having much more experience with women than I ever did in Santa Rosa. The time between dates was filled with a lot of lonely evenings at home. A pressure was building by summertime.
The year's end was more positive than the beginning. I was really sad to lose that group, but was even more troubled by another event. Our principal Teddy was making changes here and there and decided to move me from 1st to 5th grade. While I observed a few teachers in 5th, it still didn't prepare me for what was coming.
The first was my apartment having a leaky water heater. It got my floor pretty wet, as well as attracting flies. I'd been there only a year and already there were problems.
The second was a bit bigger. I'd had a sort-of regular thing going with a woman named Treasa for several months. Right before the new year began, she got engaged to another person. Not that I had expected the relationship to get to that point, but it was still a crusher. Timing can really suck!
The result of both those events was my lack of psyched up first-day, actually first week, energy. However, it came back, and I had a pretty good class. The standout student was an energetic little guy named Christian, who happened to be Treasa's nephew. He reminded me a lot of me at that age...therefore he drove me nuts at times.
That year we were finally using a basal reading series and were quite excited over the implementation of it. The 1st grade team was also sent offsite to a literacy training once a week. That was fine, except that if a sub didn't take the class, we were called back to school. Former 3rd grade teacher Heidi had joined our team and was a welcome cheery addition, while Christy moved to Kindergarten. Jennifer P became Jennifer O in September. I attended the wedding with Treasa as my date, but just as friends. Apart from all that, the year went about as usual, which meant utter chaos at all times. I also tutored a couple days a week after school, which brought a little more money.
I kept attending the Friday happy hours, although they came less frequently that year. On one of them I caught sight of 2 co-workers passionately kissing as I headed for my car. 12 years later, it's still an image hard to shake, but those were strange times.
Also in this year, I switched to a new track, which meant different vacay sets. The best one was the first, which lasted pretty much all of November. After another dismal parent conference turnout and another whipped-cream intensive pie-throwing booth, I set out for California. First Santa Rosa, then down to San Diego. I was actually away for most of the break.
It is tough to say what made this year so memorable...probably it was not so much the in-class business as my free time dating. I met several women that year...many of them were 1-time dates, others were a bit longer. One in particular was Gigi, whom I was "steady" with for the first few months of 2004, to use a 50s term. Another briefer one was named Indy in November of 2003. Both of them couldn't quite get why I couldn't get more into the relationships. I was just trying to enjoy life outside of work for a change.
Another distraction was going to the gym a few times a week. Earlier in the year I saw the girth and needed to get it down. I had a trainer and that kept me in check. By Christmas, I was looking pretty good.
However, the myriad of women that I met that year was taking its toll on my sense of self-worth. I was 31 and having much more experience with women than I ever did in Santa Rosa. The time between dates was filled with a lot of lonely evenings at home. A pressure was building by summertime.
The year's end was more positive than the beginning. I was really sad to lose that group, but was even more troubled by another event. Our principal Teddy was making changes here and there and decided to move me from 1st to 5th grade. While I observed a few teachers in 5th, it still didn't prepare me for what was coming.
Saturday, January 23, 2016
14 years of Good Morning...and class dismissed, part 1
14 years is quite s stretch for many teachers. Some stay longer, many drop out before they even get a foothold in the classroom. As for me, I think I've been born, died, and reborn more than twice. There are times when I am not sure what has kept me going all this time. When I scrape away all of the crap outside of the classroom, it is truly the kids that keep me going, particularly in the past 4 years. Other times, well, the survival instinct kicked in.
I've been wanting to write about this for a while, a big look at each year as I saw them. I really wanted to do it at the end of year 10, but that was another rebirth period, not a time to look back. I am actually going through a minor rebirth right now, but this one did not come from traumatic events, just a natural progression. Yeah yeah yeah, save it for Dr. Phil, Bry! Presenting, for your glaucomic pleasure....2002-14: A Masochist's Journey!
Part 1: 2002-03
What can one say about their first year of teaching? For me, as I suspect for others, it was not anywhere near what I'd gone to an extra 12 months of school for. I'd moved away from Santa Rosa to work in Las Vegas at a 12-month school. I'd spent a week and a half getting to know my way around before the trial by fire began. A three-day orientation for the billions of new recruits followed by a few days at my new school, Tom Williams Elementary in North Las Vegas. I was assigned to first grade.
I barely remember anything. I met some really nice people, some royal ass goblins, and just wanted an "Idiot's Guide to Teaching" if such a book existed. I really only had 4 days to get my classroom in some semblance of working order. Incidentally, this classroom was only qualified for that title in that it had desks and a white board for instruction. Other than that, it was a badly-painted piece of narrow hell, no space really for movement. I had been given a multi-book instruction guide for something called Investigations, something no plebe should be exposed to, at least not until a minimal basic comfort level in the classroom has been reached. Really, I spent 4 days putting whatever together just to give the kids a good show. I'd been given a HUGE binder only slightly thinner than the New York City Yellow Pages, giving all the learning standards for all grade levels. I had no idea where to begin. There were no textbooks for anything, really.
Tom Williams Elementary was an outdoor school, meaning all classrooms were accessed from the outside. I'd seen similar setups during my subbing days in Sonoma County, but somehow the concept made no sense in blazing-hot southern Nevada.My broom closet was connected to another on the inside. That teacher was Jennifer P., a friendly younger teacher willing to answer my questions and quelling my nervousness as best as she could. We had quite a motley crew on the 1st grade team. Down the row was Madlyn , a nice Canadian also new to Nevada, although she had experience. Further down was Scott , a good guy who I had for needed guy talk as it arose. Then there was Christy . I was unsure of what to make of her at first. She was friendly, yet kind of reserved. I figured that she'd seen many newbies come and go, how was I any different? There was also Kathleen , a sweet older teacher who worried quite a bit. Halie was another new teacher. Her cheerful take on things was always welcome. And then there was Beth , a nice teacher who gave me good practical lesson tips. All in all, I was happy to have these people in my new life.
Then there was our administration. Linda the principal was a peculiar one. I was grateful to her for hiring me at her school, but I was seeing some interesting personality quirks that were, for lack of a better word, unsettling. There was also the new assistant principal Kristie, a petite blonde Barbie doll-type was just just oh-so happy to be there. Either she'd do well or crash soon, it was hard to tell.
The year commenced. I had a nice first-year set of kids and I did the best I could with little to no materials, and it wasn't too bad. I also elected to take a course after-hours called Project LIFE, a language arts set of ideas for the younger grades. It was taught by Christy. I got a lot out of it, but I would have gotten a lot out of a cockroach if it had given any teaching advice that year. Within a few weeks, I was already on my first vacation! Really! Almost 3 weeks of freedom! I traveled back to Sonoma County to collect a few things I'd forgotten, drove down the coast through Big Sur, spent a few days in San Diego, and then back to work in early October.
Before I knew it, October's end had arrived. Coinciding with this was parent-teacher conference time. Of my 16 kids, only 4 parents came. This was to be my lesson in parent involvement in those parts. There was also the school carnival, where I participated in the pie-throwing contest and the dunking booth. And then there was Nevada Day, a day off on the last weekend of October. I took that opportunity to visit my grandma and her husband in the Phoenix area.
Already after 2 months I'd learned three things. First, I really enjoyed Friday happy hour with the crew. Tom Williams prompted drinking often. At these gatherings were Scott, sometimes Christy, Jennifer M., an obnoxious twit I grew to dislike; Nikea, a pretty chain-smoker who needed a bug removed from her ass, Leslye, a strange woman with a strange husband; Richard, a nice guy old enough to be my dad. I credit him for showing me how to make simplified lesson plans. Second, I learned that one cannot do much on a 2-paper ream allowance using broken-down copiers. The other thing was that there was quite the network of school spies operating to tell the boss anything and everything the teachers were doing. It's tough being a newbie and learning the nonofficial intricacies of professional life.
In December, we learned that Linda was leaving. Either voluntarily or forced out, I've never been 100% clear on that. She was allowed to take several of her spy network with her. What got me was that the people who wanted to be selected but were not were devastated. I guess I was too new to understand anything, but years down the road I'd see some ugly truths about many people who were left behind.
Before Christmas break, I played Santa Claus for most of the day. It was fun, but what stands out is having the bushy eyebrows rubber cemented on my forehead. That burned quite a bit!
Come January, we had a new boss named Teddy. She came along with bad news: No Child Left Behind was upon us and we were near rock bottom. I could only shrug, as I'd only been there a short time, nothing to stress about yet. However, a lot of other teachers like Jennifer M were now under the gun and had to start doing their jobs a lot more. What I liked about Teddy was that she got me some decent math materials. To me, the year was going a lot more smoothly. I was also getting to know Vegas better and began to look into the dating world.
By the third track break in May, I was feeling much better than in the fall. A good routine was forming. I was also chaperoning on the 4th grade trip to Ely. I discovered that Ely gets snow in May and I was severely underdressed. That last track break made for a really long summer. June and July made me grateful for a well-air-conditioned classroom closet.
The last day of school in early August was sad. It was a half day and the kids were tearful as dismissal time came. I was sad, too. They were a good group. Overall, I have to concede that the first year was one full of learnings, realizations, and reality checks. It really shone compared to the following year. Coming soon: part 2: 2003-04
I've been wanting to write about this for a while, a big look at each year as I saw them. I really wanted to do it at the end of year 10, but that was another rebirth period, not a time to look back. I am actually going through a minor rebirth right now, but this one did not come from traumatic events, just a natural progression. Yeah yeah yeah, save it for Dr. Phil, Bry! Presenting, for your glaucomic pleasure....2002-14: A Masochist's Journey!
Part 1: 2002-03
What can one say about their first year of teaching? For me, as I suspect for others, it was not anywhere near what I'd gone to an extra 12 months of school for. I'd moved away from Santa Rosa to work in Las Vegas at a 12-month school. I'd spent a week and a half getting to know my way around before the trial by fire began. A three-day orientation for the billions of new recruits followed by a few days at my new school, Tom Williams Elementary in North Las Vegas. I was assigned to first grade.
I barely remember anything. I met some really nice people, some royal ass goblins, and just wanted an "Idiot's Guide to Teaching" if such a book existed. I really only had 4 days to get my classroom in some semblance of working order. Incidentally, this classroom was only qualified for that title in that it had desks and a white board for instruction. Other than that, it was a badly-painted piece of narrow hell, no space really for movement. I had been given a multi-book instruction guide for something called Investigations, something no plebe should be exposed to, at least not until a minimal basic comfort level in the classroom has been reached. Really, I spent 4 days putting whatever together just to give the kids a good show. I'd been given a HUGE binder only slightly thinner than the New York City Yellow Pages, giving all the learning standards for all grade levels. I had no idea where to begin. There were no textbooks for anything, really.
Tom Williams Elementary was an outdoor school, meaning all classrooms were accessed from the outside. I'd seen similar setups during my subbing days in Sonoma County, but somehow the concept made no sense in blazing-hot southern Nevada.My broom closet was connected to another on the inside. That teacher was Jennifer P., a friendly younger teacher willing to answer my questions and quelling my nervousness as best as she could. We had quite a motley crew on the 1st grade team. Down the row was Madlyn , a nice Canadian also new to Nevada, although she had experience. Further down was Scott , a good guy who I had for needed guy talk as it arose. Then there was Christy . I was unsure of what to make of her at first. She was friendly, yet kind of reserved. I figured that she'd seen many newbies come and go, how was I any different? There was also Kathleen , a sweet older teacher who worried quite a bit. Halie was another new teacher. Her cheerful take on things was always welcome. And then there was Beth , a nice teacher who gave me good practical lesson tips. All in all, I was happy to have these people in my new life.
Then there was our administration. Linda the principal was a peculiar one. I was grateful to her for hiring me at her school, but I was seeing some interesting personality quirks that were, for lack of a better word, unsettling. There was also the new assistant principal Kristie, a petite blonde Barbie doll-type was just just oh-so happy to be there. Either she'd do well or crash soon, it was hard to tell.
The year commenced. I had a nice first-year set of kids and I did the best I could with little to no materials, and it wasn't too bad. I also elected to take a course after-hours called Project LIFE, a language arts set of ideas for the younger grades. It was taught by Christy. I got a lot out of it, but I would have gotten a lot out of a cockroach if it had given any teaching advice that year. Within a few weeks, I was already on my first vacation! Really! Almost 3 weeks of freedom! I traveled back to Sonoma County to collect a few things I'd forgotten, drove down the coast through Big Sur, spent a few days in San Diego, and then back to work in early October.
Before I knew it, October's end had arrived. Coinciding with this was parent-teacher conference time. Of my 16 kids, only 4 parents came. This was to be my lesson in parent involvement in those parts. There was also the school carnival, where I participated in the pie-throwing contest and the dunking booth. And then there was Nevada Day, a day off on the last weekend of October. I took that opportunity to visit my grandma and her husband in the Phoenix area.
Already after 2 months I'd learned three things. First, I really enjoyed Friday happy hour with the crew. Tom Williams prompted drinking often. At these gatherings were Scott, sometimes Christy, Jennifer M., an obnoxious twit I grew to dislike; Nikea, a pretty chain-smoker who needed a bug removed from her ass, Leslye, a strange woman with a strange husband; Richard, a nice guy old enough to be my dad. I credit him for showing me how to make simplified lesson plans. Second, I learned that one cannot do much on a 2-paper ream allowance using broken-down copiers. The other thing was that there was quite the network of school spies operating to tell the boss anything and everything the teachers were doing. It's tough being a newbie and learning the nonofficial intricacies of professional life.
In December, we learned that Linda was leaving. Either voluntarily or forced out, I've never been 100% clear on that. She was allowed to take several of her spy network with her. What got me was that the people who wanted to be selected but were not were devastated. I guess I was too new to understand anything, but years down the road I'd see some ugly truths about many people who were left behind.
Before Christmas break, I played Santa Claus for most of the day. It was fun, but what stands out is having the bushy eyebrows rubber cemented on my forehead. That burned quite a bit!
Come January, we had a new boss named Teddy. She came along with bad news: No Child Left Behind was upon us and we were near rock bottom. I could only shrug, as I'd only been there a short time, nothing to stress about yet. However, a lot of other teachers like Jennifer M were now under the gun and had to start doing their jobs a lot more. What I liked about Teddy was that she got me some decent math materials. To me, the year was going a lot more smoothly. I was also getting to know Vegas better and began to look into the dating world.
By the third track break in May, I was feeling much better than in the fall. A good routine was forming. I was also chaperoning on the 4th grade trip to Ely. I discovered that Ely gets snow in May and I was severely underdressed. That last track break made for a really long summer. June and July made me grateful for a well-air-conditioned classroom closet.
The last day of school in early August was sad. It was a half day and the kids were tearful as dismissal time came. I was sad, too. They were a good group. Overall, I have to concede that the first year was one full of learnings, realizations, and reality checks. It really shone compared to the following year. Coming soon: part 2: 2003-04
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