All I can say about the end of the previous year is WHEW!! I previously mentioned that I've gone through a few deaths and rebirths in my teaching career. 2005 was definitely one of those rebirths. I ran to San Diego for a much-needed battery recharge in August on the final day of school. I was relieved, broken, and afraid; relieved to be done with that horrible year, broken because so much had been lost in me, and afraid because the next year might bring more of the same.
In San Diego, my mom got me a book called "The Reluctant Disciplinarian". It read it, nodding and understanding immediately what my problem had been. In first grade, I had never encountered a situation in which tough yet loving discipline had been necessary. In 5th grade it had been vital and I didn't have those skills.
In the dating world, things had cooled...and I was not nearly as frustrated by that as I once had been. Thanks to a special lady friend in the spring, a lot of old stresses went away. Yes, I still had disastrous dates, but it didn't affect me psyche-wise. In fact, the disasters helped to make a big decision soon.
2005-2006
The year commenced with a brief revisit to the previous hellish year in terms of a meeting to discuss an incident. I just shrugged it off, knowing that was the past. I couldn't control it, but I sure as hell could learn from it!
With that, I got my new room ready. Yes, I was back in a real building. What was even better was Dorothy the 4th grade teacher and I had a system for covering each other for bathroom breaks or emergency copying. Everything just felt new again, but in a more harmonious fashion. Plans for discipline and reading groups got more solid, and I felt more prepared than before. I got my new group and was pleased with the turnout. There were still a few with rough edges, but I felt better prepared to take them as they were. With a new student recognition program, we were a pretty happy family for a long while. It was not by any means perfect, but my soul was more harmonious with real life.
On the dating front, I had met a new person who, like others, had hangups. After a 2nd date, we parted ways and I made a decision to drop the dating for a while. Looking back at that decision today, I believe it set up a later marvelous event!
Back to the year, I had the usual status of an occasional student coming and one leaving, it happens every year. Other than that, we had good harmony in pretty much all subject areas. Another boon to the year was 2 new specialists. Erica was our new art teacher and Christy S was the new music teacher. They both brought a positive new vibe.
For Halloween I dressed as the Riddler with Erica's design help. On Nevada Day Eve I went out drinking with some friends. I have rarely gotten plastered, it is just not my thing. In this case, however, it was an opportunity to cleanse the remainder of the bad spirits from the previous year.
Then came track break. I spent the first part of it spending a few nights at a friend's house so she'd feel safe while her sister was away. That was odd to say the least, sleeping on a couch while a cat occasionally kneaded me. Then I went to Arizona to see my grandma and then to San Diego for a short bit. I was still in such good spirits in December that I even bought a little artificial tree for the classroom.
However, by Christmastime, I was feeling different. The school stuff was fine, but the loneliness and celibacy were getting stale and I decided to re-enter the dating world again. I hope it would be different. After New Year on 2006, I got into it again....only to discover that nothing had changed. I don't think I'd expected it to, just wishful thinking. One or 2 more 1-night stands and a short-term relationship in January brought nothing. However, one ad caught my eye, and after waiting out the end of the mentioned relationship, I decided I wanted meet this girl. Her name was Vickie.
We had quite the long date (that's another story, though) and my heart was just pounding with joy at the end of it, anxious to see her again. Before I return to the classroom, I need to note that I've never professed love for anyone on a second date previously...and that was my final 2nd date in life!
Back to the classroom, the year progressed well with the exception of one day when there was a lockdown at our school from 12:30-5:30. We stayed as comfy as we could, but it was still stressful.
As Spring rolled in and out, Vickie and I deepened our relationship, and I saw some old negative things happening in class. However, it was a minority, not majority, of the class population, just a couple of boys who thought they were the bomb. It also went to show that returning from summer track break for the last few weeks while older siblings were on summer vacation makes some fifth graders downright rebellious. Even at my best that was impossible to stop. However, by year's end, I felt pretty good.
On the last day, Vickie and I had a nice dinner at the Top of the World at the Stratosphere and then went to Mesquite for the night. A year earlier, I was a defeated teacher, this year I'd overcome all of that and was at a good place. The next year would continue that good feeling, although at the end it was a bit different.
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