Yes, I have seen it. Today. Finally. So stop asking me!
Sorry, for the uptight tone, but people have to understand what a trauma I have been through in my life! From the ages of 4-10, I awaited the showtimes for Star Wars and its 2 sequels. I also eagerly awaited their rereleases for years after, and the "special editions" in 1997. Of course, I never saw any problem with the original versions, though "Empire" made some better use of its soundtrack in places in the 1997 recut.
Then, I came upon the dark side of Star Wars, known as the udderly (because it leaked so much) disgusting Prequel Trilogy...ugghhh, I could hardly stand to even make those proper nouns! You may retort, "Well if they were so horrible, why did you go see them? Huh? Huh?" Simple! We fans were hoping things would improve. However, the producers saw that we were so gullible after watching a movie with a long-ass pod race that we'd be dumb enough to stomach "Attack of the Clones". Granted, "Revenge of the Sith" had a few redeeming factors, but we'd come to learn many things from those Prequels:
1. Obi Wan always seemed to need rescuing at least once in each movie, making him less credible as a wise old desert hermit and later wise apparition in the originals. That just did not do.
2. Even as a lad, Anakin was pretty despicable. No sympathy for him at all.
3. Yoda wasn't a whimsical Muppet but rather a downer. Simply unacceptable.
4. Samuel L. Jackson does not sound credible without uttering "mother-fucker" at least 6 times in a 20 minute period!
5. Fast-paced lightsaber duels aren't cool, they give me a headache.
6. Massive CGI will always lose over good story and good dialogue.
I thought that was the end and therefore was relieved. Then 2 years ago I got an even worse shock...George Lucas had sold Lucasfilm to Disney and they were going to make Episode 7! Nooooo, I can't do Star Wars with annoying music numbers and teeny-boppers who will be pop music stars and sluts in 5 years! I was frightened, petrified, disgusted, even mildly concerned the new movie would be a flop. Then I saw "The Force Awakens" and I was pleasantly amazed, thrilled, even half-smiling, that not only was the CGI not thrown at me, but the lines were good, the story was decent, and we had a return of favorite characters that we thought we'd never see again. My hopes were raised. The best part was that Mark Hamill got top billing for just appearing at the end and didn't say a damn thing! That beats Marlon Brando for the first few minutes of 1978's "Superman"
Of course, there was the interim "Rogue One" last year....I am still in therapy over that one, let's move on.
Tonight I saw "The Last Jedi" and was pleasantly amazed that it was better than episode 7 and had a lot of different facets and story arcs that came together at the end. I still wonder who the hell Snoke is and where he came from...he sounds like an early 1980s Saturday morning cartoon with a breakfast cereal tie-in! Aside from that...
1. Glad to see Luke one with the Force again. He is wittier and more fun to watch. Not exactly a joke on his younger self, just what age and trauma can do to a Jedi...kind of like 16 years as a Las Vegas teacher!
2. Leia is great, but the old banter that made her and Han fun to watch is gone. (SPOILER) She is alive at the end, but Carrie Fisher is no longer with us...how will they handle this in Episode IX?
3. The lightsaber action is less fast-paced...actually pretty minimal, kind of disappointing in a way.
4. The Millennium Falcon is the symbol of rescue, coolness, and quick getaways...she holds it together better than ever here!
5. Rey kind of annoys me (the accent maybe?)but I root for her. She is that lost soul that proves that the Force is throughout the galaxy, not just with the Skywalkers.
6. General Hux, the Nazi-ish commander of the First Order fleet, reminds me of a guest German on a "Hogan's Heroes" episode. His death would be nice.
7. Po is fun to watch, brash and undisciplined, but knows a no-win when he sees one. Finn always looks like he accidentally wandered into the ladies room and doesn't know how to smoothly get out.
To end, I'd recommend this movie to anyone who is a true Star Wars fan. The series is not overly-Disney-fied, in fact quite the opposite, it gets intense at times. But you do understand how my emotions have rollercoastered from high to low to high again. I can't take anymore extremes! Get me a bowl of Cinnamon Snokes!
No comments:
Post a Comment