Brazil or Paraguay? Where to go, Where to go?

    (innocent reader on their knees): No, please! I promise I'll do anything! Just don't do this!

   (me): I have no choice! I have to! I must!

   (innocent reader): If I read another book/movie review/comparison, I'll die a horrible death! 

   (me): If you use 2 slashes again in one sentence, I'll kill you myself...AFTER you read!

   OK, OK, a little extreme, but these review/comparisons get stale at the beginning sometimes! Well, some exciting news first... I have discovered an author this year that I had never read previously: Ira Levin! I saw a hardcover first edition of The Stepford Wives last Spring at a small antique store for a reasonable price and had to get it. Not only that, I actually dared to open it and (gasp) READ it!

   Levin is actually an easy author to read, and Stepford was a quickie. Later in the year as I was preparing to take my mom across the country, my wife got me The Boys From Brazil. It was intended to be read a bit throughout the trip when we stopped for the night, but I only got a few pages in on the plane ride back from North Carolina. I just recently picked it up again during my Christmas holiday and sure enough, I got through it in a few days, finishing it on Christmas in fact.

   What is this one about? Simply, Nazis! Specifically, it is about a complicated plot by Joseph Mengele, having been forced into the jungles of Brazil, to clone a whole  new generation of Adolph Hitlers via tissue samples left to him ceremoniously by Hitler himself. After the fertilization and insertion into Brazilian women, the successful births are then put up for adoption for just the right types of families in Europe and America...the right types being a tyrannical father and loving mother of specific ages.

   When the fathers are at about 65 years of age, Mengele sends out a hit squad of devoted Aryans to kill them. The reason? Hitler's dad died at that age. It is all a carefully concocted plan to mirror Hitler's teen years so one or more of them can be a nation's new fuhrer. In fact, this is so detailed that the book really is a bit of science fiction, a combo of cloning basics and psychological conditioning.

   To balance this out, there is detective work involved on behalf of a former Nazi hunter named Yakov Liebermann who gets a tip from a spy at Mengele's briefing at a Japanese restaurant in Brazil at the book's start on some of the names of those to be assassinated. Yakov hears only a bit before Mengele and a hit squad kill the spy in his hotel room, but moves on it with his limited resources due to financial and organizational troubles.

   Yakov meets with the wife of one of the victims and meets her son, thinking nothing of it. However, when he interviews another victim's wife and meets her son, he is shocked to see the exactitude of this boy to the first one, right down to the blue eyes! After consulting a biology professor and the imprisoned Nazi woman who handled the illegal adoptions, along with the list the spy gave him, he pieces together the intricate puzzle. At first he is confused because Mengele has brown eyes, then he realizes who the boys will become, as well as pieces together who the next victim will be.

   Meanwhile, Mengele's Nazi backers are growing nervous when they hear of Liebermann's snooping and call back the assassins. Mengele is furious and decides to handle the killings himself, as well as take care of Liebermann once and for all. In fact, Ira Levin makes Mengele a master of disguise, almost like Artemus Gordon from The Wild Wild West. Through trickery, he gets Liebermann's location and target: the Wheelock family near Lancaster, PA. Mengele meets Mr. Wheelock who has a menacing team of Dobermans, and says he is Liebermann. He convinces Wheelock to put the dogs away, then assassinates him on the basement stairs. 

   Liebermann arrives and Mengele tries to Americanize his voice, but Liebermann sees through it and the two engage in a struggle, with Liebermann badly injured by gunshots, but not before he releases the dogs. The teen Bobby Wheelock arrives and calls off the dogs tentatively. Mengele tries to persuade the boy of his mission and their identities and paint Liebermann as the villain. Luckily, Bobby doesn't buy it and has the dogs kill Mengele with a command of "Mustard"(kill). Incidentally, "ketchup: told the dogs to be calm and "pickles" put them on close menacing guard. Bobby agrees to call for medical help if Liebermann stays quiet about Bobby ordering the dogs to kill. Liebermann and the young Hitler shake on it...a dark irony considering Liebermann's life.

   At the end, the Jewish Defense League is happy Mengele is dead, but want Liebermann's list of names so they can kill all the boys as a precaution. Liebermann refuses and flushes the list down the toilet, opting to let the boys grow on their own and assume world conditions won't bring a new Hitler forward to take control.

   Like Stepford Wives, Boys From Brazil is more or less satirical (the former was more satirical) in nature. Nazi Germany was only in power  just over 30 years before Levin published the book in 1976, so surviving "Lost Generation" and older Baby Boomers were well informed on the second world war and the Holocaust. Other post-war Nazi stories were published in the 1970s as well, so Levin was well-versed on facts to create this satire, as much as he had some insight on Women's Lib to write Stepford. I liked the way the story unfolded, with the plot thickener of the cloning coming about mid-book. Nothing felt too rushed or too slow, and the coming showdown between Liebermann and Mengele had me reading almost the entire second half in one night!

   One nice thing about the 1970s was that film adaptations of books generally came within a year or two of the book's publication, since George Lucas-style special effects had not yet revolutionized the film industry. The book was published in 1976 and the movie was released in 1978. Gregory Peck played Mengele and Sir Laurence Olivier played Liebermann, though his first name was changed to Ezra for some odd reason. Also, the Nazis were working out of Paraguay, so the title makes no sense at all. Apart from that, the movie is pretty faithful to the book overall.

   What got me laughing was the fight near the end between Peck and Olivier...Peck was 62 and Olivier was 71, so it was like watching Grumpy Old Men in a darker version! Also, there is a drawback to being too faithful to a book at times, though Levin's writing makes adaptation pretty easy.

   In conclusion, if you're into Nazi lore at all merely as a subject of history, this book is quite an entertaining bit of fantasy and sci-fi, even though the very end of the book shows one of the clones having an artful vision of a man giving a great speech to a crowd, an ironic but expected foreshadowing after Liebermann flushed the list in a show of good faith. As to book vs movie, take the book, which I usually recommend anyway.

   Hopefully I did not harm any eyes in the writing of this blog.

Who Shot the Classic Serial part Deux...the Classic Cliffhangers

    Recently I revisited my Dallas (1978-91) box set...thinking at first I'd rewatch the whole series, but by the end of season 5 I was getting a bit worn from viewing entire seasons. Really, as the series gained height in popularity, it also gained in episode count per season (peaking at 31 episodes in season 9). Now, I know that seems tame compared to classic TV's standard 39 episodes in the 50s and early 60s, but as we all know from even the best TV series of our lifetimes...not all episodes are winners.

   In fact, at times Dallas dragged in its storylines. It dragged so much, in fact, that one station in Philly over 30 years ago decided to air the best of each season in 2 week installments, calling this collection "The Classic Cliffhangers". This was a fun relaxation for me during the summer of 1991, and this memory inspires me to go after all 14 cliffhangers instead of their 6, effectively wrapping up my viewing of the show for probably another several years.

Season 1 (1978)- Not so much of a season as a miniseries to see if it could do an entire fall to spring run, but it did set up the original characters  J.R., Bobby, Jock, Miss Ellie, Pam, Sue Ellen, Lucy, Ray, and Cliff nicely. In the last installment, Pamela fell from a hayloft to get away from a drunken J.R. and lost the baby she was carrying. 

Season 2 (1978-79)- The show's first full season focused on J.R.'s continued callous infidelity to Sue Ellen and her subsequent affair with J.R.'s arch enema (enemy) Cliff  Barnes, who dumped her in favor of his political future, just as she realized she was prego. As she'd slept with Cliff more than J.R. this season, it was assumed the baby was Cliff's, but Sue Ellen, stung at rejection by her husband AND her lover, turned increasingly to alcohol. In this season's cliffhanger, she and baby John Ross III were in critical danger as she'd drunkenly tried to escape from the sanitarium J.R. had forced her in and crashed the car.

Side note: This season also introduces Donna Culver (Susan Howard), Ray's eventual wife who would be on the show until season 10. I mention this because while I like her character, she was never a part of any cliffhanger.

Season 3 (1979-80)- J.R. made a slew of enemies in this season, even his own parents when he mortgaged the family home/ranch Southfork to finance an oil venture in Asia. When the Asian wells were nationalized, J.R. was alerted beforehand and sold the leases to the Dallas oil cartel and sleazy banker Vaughn Leland. On top of that, he'd hired ambitious attorney Alan Beam to lure Cliff out of local politics to run for a national post then pulled out Cliff's funding. When Alan tried to marry Lucy Ewing and stay in Dallas, J.R. ruined his career. Not only THAT, he had been sleeping with Sue Ellen's ambitious sister Kristin, but when she turned against him for abandoning her affections, he tried to frame her for prostitution. Icing on the cake was after learning he really was John Ross III's real daddy, he vowed that Sue Ellen would never take him away and upon her renewed drinking when lover Dusty Farlow (Jared Martin) was assumed dead from a plane crash, he tried her have her sent back to the sanitarium. J.R. was shot by a mysterious assailant in his office at the end of the season.

Side note: Starting in this season, Larry Hagman was looking trimmer and younger and the show looked a lot brighter color wise.

Season 4 (1980-81)- J.R. pulled through and waged a war against brother Bobby to regain control of Ewing Oil. He succeeded, then tried to build a new image via P.R. bloodhound Leslie Stewart (Susan Flannery). Unfortunately, during this rebuilding he financed a counter-revolution to regain the Asian Wells and Cliff got wind of it. Sue Ellen, tired of J.R. and wanting to build a new life with not-so-dead Dusty and baby John Ross, tried to get the baby out with Pamela's help. Plus, Kristin had returned to town and was apparently shaking down more than just J.R. for money regarding her baby's paternity. In the final episode, there was a female body in the pool  that Cliff found.

Side Note: Season 4 is the first of 3 seasons where Dallas was #1 in the Nielsens.

Season 5 (1981-82)- There was a definite separate 2 halves of this season. The first half involved J.R. trying to get Sue Ellen and John Ross away from Dusty and his father Clayton at their ranch in San Angelo. The second half was all about everyone coping with Jock's death, even J.R. Once recovered, J.R. waged a war against Cliff when he realized Cliff was pursuing Sue Ellen (she and J.R. were divorced), endangering his plan to get John Ross back on Southfork permanently. Playing on Cliff's newfound greed working at his newly-found mom's company, he set Cliff up for a fall and succeeded. The season ended with Cliff attempting suicide.

Side Note: Season 5 is the second of 3 seasons where Dallas was #1 in the Nielsens.

Season 6 (1982-83)- This whole season was all about dead Jock Ewing's will, creating a battle between Bobby and J.R. for control of Ewing Oil after a year. Several business battles, a lawsuit, and confrontations ensued. At season's end, Pam and Cliff's mom died, Bobby and Pam were splitting up, and a victim of J.R.'s crooked dealings tried to run J.R. off the road, but ended up hitting Sue Ellen and Ray's cousin Mickey. Once Ray found out who it was, he tried to kill J.R. with his bare hands but in the process of trying to defend himself, J.R. started a fire that threatened to burn down Southfork's main mansion.

Season 7 (1983-84)- Like season 3, many were hating J.R. When Cliff started stealing deals from his rival, J.R. set him up to bid on an offshore drilling venture by blackmailing a government official with the areas up for sale to reveal them so he'd know how to bait Cliff. Katherine Wentworth (Cliff and Pam's half sister) had tried to get Bobby to love her all season but failed, thanks mainly to J.R. And then young Peter Richards had an affair with Sue Ellen that jealous J.R. found out about and threatened to set Peter up on drug charges unless he left town and Sue Ellen returned to the marital bed. Indeed there was a gunshot in the Ewing offices...but it was Bobby who got hit!

Side Note: Season 7 is the final of 3 seasons where Dallas was #1 in the Nielsens. It is also, in my opinion, the best of the series.

Season 8 (1984-85)- Quite a busy season without a lot of draw story-wise. Much of it had to do with Bobby's old/new love Jenna Wade (Priscilla Presley) and her problems, but there was another story involving who really owned Ewing Oil via a document cousin Jamie Ewing (Jennilee Harrison) had. It looked like she and Cliff would own a third apiece, but Jamie's brother Jack (Dack Rambo) provided proof it wasn't true...for a tenth of Ewing Oil in payment. At the very end, Bobby decided he really wanted Pam back, but on the way out to tell his family, he took a car hit by crazy Katherine and died from his injuries...not precisely a cliffhanger, but a big finish. 

Season 9 (1985-86)- Now, I could easily just skip this season at it was the infamous "dream" season, and it wasn't a real winner aside from some good acting by Linda Gray showing Sue Ellen hitting rock bottom drinking and rising from the pit. Assumed dead former lover Mark Graison (John Beck) returned to help Pam in business and feelings. Evil businesswoman Angelica Nero (Barbara Carrera) tried to set up J.R. and Jack to die at a masquerade ball to gain control of her dead husband's empire. And then came Matt Cantrell (Marc Singer) to convince Pam to invest in Bobby's emerald mine in South America. At the end, Angelica planted a bomb in Jack's car and in J.R.'s office...only Sue Ellen and Jamie were the victims instead of the Ewing men...and suddenly Pam awakes in bed to see Bobby in the shower!

Season 10 (1986-87)- Like season 5, this season was in 2 parts. The first part dealt with newly hired ranch foreman Wes Parmalee (Steve Forrest) claiming to be Jock back from the dead and the family torn over it all, but Bobby (yes he was back) found out the man's true identity and the story abruptly ended. The second half was all about the end of Ewing Oil. J.R., panicked over falling oil prices, hired terrorist B.D. Calhoun to blow up some Middle Eastern oil fields, but panicked again when warned by the CIA and gave up Calhoun, who went after J.R. for revenge. Bobby and Ray killed Calhoun who was about to kill John Ross. The CIA covered it up, but longtime business rival Jeremy Wendell (William Smithers) of WestStar, seeking revenge for being double-crossed, learned of J.R.'s violation of national security and gave all evidence to the Justice Department, who shut down Ewing Oil.

Side note: To me, that was the end of the season, but a cliffhanger involving Pam crashing into an oil truck and creating a huge explosion, was the actual cliffhanger...but only to say sayonara to Victoria Principal. Incidentally, this was also a season where Cliff was at his worst. He was proving to be a horrible and weaselly businessman. On the other hand, Sue Ellen was becoming a great businesswoman with her new lingerie venture.

Season 11 (1987-88)- When J.R. loses, he doesn't lick his wounds, he springs like a tiger. All season was spent regaining lost Ewing assets while Bobby, fresh over Pam, is given an opportunity to get the Ewing Oil name back...as long as it is only him and not J.R. It all comes to a head when Bobby succeeds at Ewing Oil's rebirth name-wise, but J.R. loses his bid at WestStar thanks to Sue Ellen and seeks revenge by hiding John Ross. Sue Ellen and business advisor/lover Nicholas Pearce (Jack Scalia) confront him and a struggle ensues, ending with Nicholas being thrown off the high balcony of J.R.'s new condo (with a strange freeze frame of the fall for a second) )and Sue Ellen shooting J.R. 

Side note: Cliff redeemed himself this season big time by helping an oilman who reminds him of his father...and then when the man thinks Cliff cheated him, Cliff realizes that his long deceased bitter father was bitter for no good reason at all...then sweetly apologizes to Ellie for all the bad blood over the years.

Season 12 (1988-89)- A pretty disjointed season due to a writers' strike. It started with a range war set up by newly reseated and vengeful Jeremy Wendell, using "rancher" Carter McKay (George Kennedy) to buy Ray's house and land to set up the war. Once Jeremy was discovered and arrested, J.R. was forced to contend with his hick bride Cally (Cathy Podewell) and Carter as the new head of WestStar. On top of that, Sue Ellen was now in the movie business and had a movie made about her and J.R.'s life together. The season ends with her showing J.R. a rough cut of the film and threatening to release it if he ever tries to hurt her or John Ross. The once easily victimized Sue Ellen is now the victor and walks off into the London sunset with new love Don Lockwood (Ian McShane).

Season 13 (1989-90)- Way too many things going on in this season...Carter's son going after Bobby and anyone who he feels hurt his father, an oil tanker accident, J.R.'s long lost (and previously unknown) son James, and intrigue with Clayton's crazy sister Jessica killing many Dallas bigwigs. She is sent away again but not before J.R. learns she has valuable WestStar voting rights. He quite viciously torments Cally to get rid of her (perhaps a nod to the old J.R. 10 years ago) and goes to the sanitarium as a patient to get to Jessica for the voting rights, then gets his release taken away by a vengeful James.

Side note: We all know in serials/soaps that the start and end of seasons find the main characters in different situations, but J.R. was all over the place here. So was Cliff, who ended up being a Ewing foe again for a little while. Like season 9, quite unfocused but at least shorter.

Season 14 (1990-91)- All I can say here is it was a mercifully short season, focusing on Bobby finding the woman who was responsible for new bride April (pre-Walker Sheree J. Wilson) getting killed in Paris while J.R.'s grip on Ewing business slipped further away. A last failed grab at WestStar is foiled by Carter and long-unseen rival Dusty, and everyone except Bobby has left Southfork. A despondent J.R. is about to shoot himself, but not before "angel" Adam (Joel Grey) shows him what life would be like without a J.R. Ewing (Bobby a losing gambler, brother Gary a successful divorce attorney, Sue Ellen an actress, Cliff  the new President of the U.S. and Ray a crippled but happy family man) but only to depress him more to make him pull the trigger. We hear a gunshot and Bobby comes in shocked.

What happened? Well, in 2 later reunion movies J.R. was off somewhere turning his life around while Bobby had returned to ranching and Cliff was running Ewing Oil....until J.R. returns to mess up everyone's lives with a new twinkle in his eye!

Who shot the Classic Serial?

    It's a Friday night in 1985. You have no plans, no sex life, not even a dog to watch! When asked what your plans are, what do you say?

A. I'm doing laundry, hair, and nails all in one sitting

B. I'm a eunuch

C. I'm Bryan Moore, who are you kidding?

D. Are you crazy? Dallas is on!

   Now, in all reality and in respect to the joys of self-deprecation, choice C is a sure-fire invitation to pity if you're into that form of masochism, but the real answer, and obvious segue, is D for Dallas! 

   Dallas was a Friday night staple on CBS for 12 years, and did fairly well in syndicated reruns for a while after. I actually got into it the summer of 1990 on one of the Philly local channels, and got to see the episode where J.R. Ewing got shot. In fact, I remember when I was 8 I had heard all about the show without seeing an episode. When my dad was going on a business trip to Dallas, I told him, "Watch out for J.R.!"

   After years of catching the rerun circuit on local channels, TNT, and TNN, I finally bought the whole series on DVD for about $150 over 6 years ago. As I watched the entire series, I noted how the cable channels really cut up the show, particularly TNN, for more ads.

   Recently I took out the box set and began watching again. After 5 seasons straight through, I realized I didn't want to sit through every episode, because I pretty much know the series by heart and many storylines dragged through 28+ episode seasons, so I am catching what I consider are highlights for the final 9 years.

   All that said, what was it about this show that kept up so much momentum? Well, it worked on a few different interest levels. It started at a Romeo and Juliet kind of familial war between the rich Ewings and working class Barnes's. There was of course a large sense of trashiness with a lot of sex, cheating, and drinking. On top of that, there was a dark light shone upon oil companies and their greed for more riches.

   What really tied it all together was Larry Hagman's portrayal of ruthless J.R. Ewing. Viewers had previously known him as handsome, often hapless, Major Tony Nelson on I Dream of Jeannie. Within one episode, the whole 5 episode spring 1978 miniseries (counted on the box set as season 1), J.R. was pretty well spelt out as a guiltless philandering husband who ran his dad Jock's company Ewing Oil any damn well way he pleased...which often ended up screwing competitors and even implied friendly business associates out of money, land, or both.

   One could really write a book about the psyche of J.R., but I don't have the inclination or rights to that so I'll sum him up as best as I can. At first his main goals were to establish Ewing Oil as the biggest independent oil company in Texas, along with getting rid of Cliff Barnes, a Texas politician who had a beef with the whole Ewing family over what he thought was the Ewings screwing his dad Digger out of riches decades ago. Ewing Oil had its highs and lows throughout the series, even was disbanded for a year by the Federal government due to J.R.'s dealings with a terrorist for hire, but he did get rid of Cliff as a political rival only to gain him as a business rival.

Here's a brief rundown of J.R.'s crooked business ploys (it won't SEEM brief, but it is)

1. Created a forgery of Jock's will to gain the rights to drill on Southfork (the family estate/ranchland) for oil.

2. Bought leases to Asian Oil Wells (by mortgaging Southfork behind his parents' back) and not letting the local oil cartel in, then sold them the leases upon learning the wells were about to be nationalized, causing financial ruin for some...one person committed suicide.

3. Financed a revolution to get those same wells back.

4. Bought all of Clayton Farlow's oil and stockpiled it to force his wife Sue Ellen to leave Dusty Farlow and return son John Ross to Southfork to please Jock.

5. Set up Cliff with a phony deal to ruin him and get Sue Ellen back (still to get John Ross back on Southfork). This resulted in Cliff attempting suicide.

6. Blackmailed an official to get an oil variance to set up cut rate gas stations and sold oil to Cuba in order to win Ewing Oil in a year-long battle with brother Bobby.

7. Set up Cliff (again) in an offshore drilling scheme to financially ruin Cliff...it backfired when Cliff struck oil.

8. When oil prices were falling due to Arabs glutting the market, J.R. contracted terrorist for hire B.D. Calhoun to blow up Arab fields to raise the oil prices. This ended up costing the family the company.

9. Worked with greedy Casey Denault to get Ewing assets back from those who bought them when Ewing Oil was disbanded, and schemed to take over rival WestStar..he gained the assets but Sue Ellen stopped him.

From that last point on, J.R. was less in control of things in terms of business each successive season. It seemed as if everyone was truly onto him more and more and easily blocked him. In terms of  personal schemes, he had a number of mistresses that he bedded while married to Sue Ellen, TWICE married to her to be exact. He also waged many a one-up on poor Cliff, including stealing Cliff's girlfriend Mandy, constantly plotted to get Bobby's wife Pamela ("that Barnes woman") out of his life, bullied Sue Ellen relentlessly for the first few seasons, and, in arguably his most chilling scheme, blackmailed a government official who had a secret past as a child molester into letting him see the offshore tracts for auction to set up Cliff. He also bedded a naive country girl then was forced to marry her by her redneck brothers. That was the start of his lack of cunning superiority and growing paranoia.

But wait, there's more!

The second most fascinating character is Sue Ellen. At the start, she is a very proper wife doing all of the wifely duties along with serving on many social committees and acting superior. This of course all a charade to mask her frustration at J.R. not making love to her anymore and therefore not being able to bear a Ewing child. She has a 1 night stand with ranch foreman Ray Krebbs and then a slightly longer affair with Cliff and gets pregnant. Shunned by Cliff eventually and even more so by J.R. , she takes more and more to the bottle and J.R. forces her into a sanitarium where she gives birth to John Ross.

But who was the father? It was J.R.'s after all after several months assuming he was Cliff's. Sue Ellen in the meantime...

1. Found new love in Dusty Farlow before he was thought to be killed in a plane crash

2. Felt new loyalty to J.R. after he was shot, but that lasted only a bit over a month once he bedded Afton Cooper at Lucy's wedding.

3. Reunited with Dusty even though he was crippled and impotent, and took John Ross to the Farlow estate Southern Cross with Pamela's help.

4. Left Dusty and after a controlled (by J.R.s mom Ellie) divorce found her way BACK to J.R...she wasn't quite ready for the single life.

5. After discovering J.R. cheating on her again, she drank again, but got off the bottle not long after, and had an affair with much younger Peter Richards, who was John Ross's camp counselor...even getting pregnant by him but suffered a miscarriage.

6. Reunited with J.R. in bed for a short time before he found Mandy Winger.

7. Drank out of guilt when John Ross was sick (aided by J.R.'s bullying)

8. Got off the bottle and bought Valentine Lingerie at first to embarrass J.R. and mess with Mandy's head, but it turned into a successful business and showed just how much Sue Ellen had grown in confidence. This period (1986-87) marked a permanent change in her. Instead of J.R. getting her goat, the tables were turned.

9. Found new love with investment banker Nicholas Pearce, but he later died after a high balcony struggle with J.R. over a gun.

10. Made a movie about her life with J.R. and used it to blackmail J.R. into never messing with her or hurting John Ross. This was her exit.

I find Sue Ellen so fascinating in those later seasons because she is no longer a woman who was "trained" by her mother into marrying the perfect man...she found independence and happiness...and more importantly self control.

My least favorite character? Lucy Ewing! Always a spoiled brat, she started as a school skipping nympho who regularly bedded Ray Krebbs, had 2 ruined engagements, found out that Ray was her uncle (though nobody mentioned this in season 4, this pretty much beats Luke and Leia's more than sibling level kiss in terms of EWWWWW factor!) She eventually found love and marriage with medical student Mitch Cooper, but her spoiled ways killed that. She was later raped by obsessive modeling photographer Roger and got pregnant and then aborted the baby, found new love with Mickey Trotter before he was paralyzed, then tried for Peter Richards but J.R. had him run out of town. She eventually reunited with Mitch and left, then came back for 2 years with nothing stories and left again. In many ways she was a bigger loser than Cliff.

All right, that is quite enough before I write an entire book, though my next bit is about the cliffhangers!

The Count of Monte Cristo

    Oh shit, you say, Bryan is doing another one of those damn book reviews! Even worse, he's going to compare it to the movie! Haven't we suffered this hell enough?!

   Well, no, you haven't. There is one consolation, though, I will not compare this work of Alexandre Dumas to any of its film interpretations/adaptations, for in this 1,462 page bullet stopper, there is way too much going on for one movie to cover...but I will return to the media aspect later.

   I do need to mention one film adaptation, though, since it was the impetus for me reading the book in the first place. The 2002 film with Jim Caviezel, Guy Pearce, and Richard Harris made the story intriguing enough. The next year I picked up the book, which turned out to be an ABRIDGED version despite its 500+ pages. Sure enough, when I read it, there seemed to be some pieces missing in terms of characters' fates. Therefore I went back to the store to get the full monty, so to speak. After finally finishing the full version last night, I am quite glad I made the purchase and effort, even though I put it down after just under 500 pages 3 years ago.

   The basic sketch of the tale is as follows: young Edmond Dantes, a sailor aboard the Marseilles vessel Pharaeon, has been secretly put in charge of a letter to one of Napoleon Bonaparte's agents by the ill captain LeClere. Upon arrival in Marseilles, the ship's and company's owner Monsieur Morrel is impressed with Edmond's deeds (not knowing of the letter) and makes him captain. The jealous Danglars, another ship officer, who has seen the letter, plots with Edmond's jealous rival for his lover Mercedes, Fernand Mondego to frame Edmond by sending the letter to the deputy procuror de roi (prosecutor for the king) Villefort. Edmond is arrested and interrogated and, after Edmond reveals is naivete for the letter's true meaning (Edmond is quite illiterate) he is about to be set free until he tells of the name of the letter's intended recipient Noirtier. Villefort is visibly agitated but keeps Edmond assured he will be free...and then sends Edmond to the Chateau D'If, a prison intended for the outcasts and embarrassments of Marseilles. There he meets the Abbe (Father) Faria who is imprisoned in a nearby cell and is befriended by him. 

   Faria is a wise and experienced man who teaches Edmond to read as well as mathematics and economics and the ways of the world. It is with Faria that Edmond discovers what the plot against him was truly about and it is here that Edmond becomes bent on revenge if he ever gets out. Faria also informs Edmond of a hidden treasure trove on the island of Monte Cristo, hidden underwater. When Faria dies, Edmond sneaks his body into the body bag which is tossed into the sea. 

   From there, Edmond works on ships and acquires enough money to get to Monte Cristo to find the treasure. Once that is acquired, he embarks on a series of life adventures for several years, establishing a series of various identities and backgrounds and buying slaves to perform as his servants. Once he purchases the title of the Count of Monte Cristo , he begins to set up his revenge plot by getting to know what makes the men who conspired against him tick and use that intelligence against them, which is pretty much what the last thousand or so pages are all about.

The end.

Haha, yeah right! I've been waiting way too long to write this to end it here.

First, let's go back to where the conspirators met. There was Danglars, the conspiracy leader; Fernand, a jealous rival for Mercedes’s affections and love...and a third, a tailor named Gaspard Caderousse. The latter is introduced as a man who is owed money by the Dantes family, specifically Edmond’s father. After the debt is paid (leaving the father a bit strapped), Caderousse is all friendly and benevolent. He is also prone to drink and as he sits and observes the conspirators, he assumes it is a joke. Caderousse appears later to tell Abbe Busoni (one of Edmond’s alter egos), by prompting, of what happened to all Edmond knew in Marseilles. Edmond learns that his father died of starvation while his enemies relocated to Paris. He provides Caderousse with a diamond to make a new life as Caderousse has fallen on hard times. 

Caderousse only goes downhill from there. Trying to get a good price for the diamond, he and his wife act to murder the jeweler they use (the wife dies during this) and Caderousse is imprisoned. He is later a thief and blackmailer, murdered by his blackmail victim Benedetto. I find Caderousse interesting because really he seems to be a born loser and his demand of repayment of a debt at a bad time, along with not standing up for Edmond to the prosecutor when he should have, sends his life from bad to worse. In fact, Edmond, as the Count, declares “1!” upon Caderousse’s death.

Another aspect of the story that is quite fascinating is Edmond creating all of these elaborate disguises and characters for himself: Sinbad the Sailor, Lord Wilmore, and Abbe Busoni. The latter is the most frequent alter ego as it signifies a religious presence in people’s homes as well as a legal influence to let certain prisoners free to begin a new life, Caderousse among them. In one scene, Abbe Busoni passes Danglars and leaves the room, then out comes the Count a moment or two later! Lord Wilmore is used mainly for one act of generosity for Monsieur Morrel, Edmond’s former boss who fell on hard times. In fact, via the riches from Monte Cristo, Morrel is rescued from a certain suicide. It is Edmond’s last act of generosity for some time.

From then on, the Count (he is not Edmond in any way for some time to come) plots how to get to his enemies via spies and observation. After a mysterious 10 years of which we the reader may assume Edmond traveled and experienced the world, he begins his chess-like game of revenge. He engages the Viscount Albert de Morcerf (son of Mercedes and Fernand, now known as the Count de Morcerf) in Rome. After gaining Albert’s trust via acting as a host in his home and various sports and theatrical displays, the Count arranges a kidnapping of Albert by the bandit Luigi Vampa, an acquaintance Edmond made soon after his prison escape. The Count then easily rescues Albert with merely his name. The ruse is effective and Albert invites the Count to Paris. 

Upon arrival, the Count wastes no time in purchasing not one home, but two, as well as gaining intelligence from unsuspecting friends of Albert regarding the Count’s enemies, though everyone views the Count as a wise benefactor and friend, particularly the wives of Villefort and Danglars. The men themselves meet the Count but do not recognize him as the man they tried to destroy over 20 years ago. Fernand, under his new name Count de Morcerf, does not appear much but does not recognize Edmond, either.

The revenge against Mondego/Morcerf involves love for his family. The Count arranges for Morcerf to be publicly humiliated and charged for a crime via testimony from the Count's slave/eventual love Haydee. After this humiliation, first Albert challenges the Count to a duel. The Count at first is ready to kill Albert until Mercedes, who knows the Count is really Edmond, confronts him and begs to spare Albert's life. The Count is quite moved and is prepared to let himself be killed until Albert apologizes, which to the Count is a sign from God. After Albert backs down, Morcerf personally confronts the Count to kill him, but upon his revelation to Morcerf as Edmond, Morcerf is horrified to see his former rival and, upon seeing Mercedes and Albert leave him and his home, commits suicide via pistol.

The Count’s own servant, the Corsican Bertuccio, gives the Count a big piece of Villefort’s shady past. In fact it is Villefort that is eventually given perhaps the most crushing blow in terms of vengeance. Not only does he and Madame Danglars have a son they both thought was lost (due to him burying him after birth thinking the boy was dead anyway), but his wife is poisoning anyone who gets in the way of her bratty boy Edward’s inheritance. Upon discovery, she poisons herself and Edward and both die. This drives Villefort to madness.

An interesting subplot involving the lost son is involved here regarding the revenge against Villefort. The son Benedetto was rescued from burial and later adopted by Bertuccio's (the servant) sister in law. and raised by her and Bertuccio, but he grew to be a criminal anyway. Imprisoned along with Caderousse, both are released with the Count giving Benedetto the new name Andrea Cavalcanti. "Andrea" upon murdering Caderousse to free himself from blackmail, is arrested for the murder. While imprisoned, Bertuccio visits him and tells him of his true parentage.

Danglars receives probably the lightest of the Count's vengeance, perhaps due to the brutal emotional beating Villefort was dealt, yet deserved in terms of punishing greed, and Danglars was greedy and more than a tad corrupt. He did have his problems, though. His wife was having an affair and his daughter has no interest in men...in fact the daughter Eugenie is a more than subtly implied lesbian. Upon his wife and daughter leaving him and him trying to swindle funds that did not belong to him, he like Albert is imprisoned by Luigi Vampa and generally forced into starvation unless he (Danglars) pays exorbitant sums of money to buy paltry amounts of food. When he is down to a mere 50,000 francs, he repents to the Count who forgives him then reveals himself as Edmond Dantes.

Yet Dantes has a soft spot for one family: the Morrels. After his old shipowner boss and friend dies, the Count befriends his children, particularly Maximillian, who is a military hero and having a forbidden romance with Valentine Villefort, daughter of the procuror and his first wife. After the Count saves her from the second wife's attempted poisoning, she and Maximillian are free to be together by the novel's end.

Over the 1,462 pages, there were many instances where I had to "skip ahead a bit" because of the long descriptive paragraphs that did not move the plot along, plus the too-literal French to English translated phrases that were a bore and sounding pseudo-Shakespearean to me.

While no movie could capture this complete tale without being over 4 hours long, The Count of Monte Cristo could easily be made into a streaming miniseries, or even an entire season if every nuance of the book is used. It would almost be soap opera-ish with different characters having unanticipated interactions with other characters you wouldn't imagine having any connection at all.

Northern California Where the Girls Are Warm(er)

    Of my 10 years spent in California, I have to say by far that the eight spent in Northern California were pretty much better than the two in San Diego. I can attribute this to several factors.

    The biggest factor to me really is the scenery. Right from my first visit on Labor Day weekend in 1993, I knew there was something special about Sonoma State University. I believe it was the small-town atmosphere that surrounded it. The urban/suburban sprawl of San Diego had not served me well, I was used to a little town here, a little town there kind of thing in Pennsylvania, so Rohnert Park did it for me. As I was into taking walks, the town had a perfect set-up. It was also bike friendly. Close by was an equal sized and smaller town called Cotati. I liked the feel of that town as well. 8 miles to the north was the bigger burg of Santa Rosa where I would move after graduation. About 30-40 miles to the west was the Pacific Ocean, depending on where you were headed. To the north and east were local highways and byways containing many a winery. I am not too much into wine itself, but there were a few varieties I came to enjoy now and then, especially Gewurtztraminer, a German that became my favorite.

   And then there was San Francisco itself, a convenient big city to explore when there was time...just 48 miles away. It was almost like the convenience of having Philly so close when living in the Reading area, only the drive to and from San Fran/The City/don't call it Frisco was more pleasant. Then there was Oakland, a less pleasant city, but always good for an A's game. Further south was San Jose. I never had much use for that place because it lacked a lot for me besides congested freeways.

   North of Santa Rosa were picturesque valleys, lots of forests, some hilly terrain...and an odd town called Eureka...and 100 miles beyond that, Oregon. Between my buddy Scott and I, we saw it all.

   In 1994, my folks drove me to Sonoma State for my first semester of classes. I had my mullet at that point. I immediately liked my new dorm and most of the people I was living with...hey in an 8-person suite you can't like EVERYONE, but I got into the environment much better than I did in West Virginia. Plus, on day one I met my almost-common-law-marriage buddy Scott Catania. We stayed pretty good friends and roommates for the next 8 years. We are still friends, but distance and individual family lives lessen the communication.

   I met a lot of other people I still maintain contact with via phone or social media at Sonoma State. Many of our dormmates ate together in the Zinfandel dining hall or got together in our little common area outside for talk or games or both. Several drank fairly often and a few did some pot. Scott and I weren't really into that s o often we just drove around in his car at night, listening to rock and maybe grabbing a drink. In the next semester, a few people moved out and we got some new blood. This second semester I definitely felt better adjusted to my newer surroundings and was quite happy to be there.

   In the fall 1995 semester, Scott, our friend Rob, and I moved into the on-campus apartments. The difference between dorm and on-campus apartment was that you got your own food and a kitchen, but no dining hall access. Down the hall from us were our friends Karen and Kimberly from the previous year. We had a 4th roommate in our apartment in the form of a guy suffering from Tourette's. I probably could have been nicer or at least civil to the guy, but I had anger issues regarding my parents' divorce and he lit my fuse more than he should have. All of us shared a nice 2 semesters together. In that second semester in the apartment, we made a camcorder movie, which ended up being fun but I no longer have the tape sad to say.

   In the summer of 1996, Scott and I got an OFF-campus apartment, one we actually had to pay rent for. It was pretty convenient to school via bike or car (on nice days I biked there), and close to Rohnert Park and Cotati stores for convenience sake. Also that summer, I had a job as a painter (or REpainter) of the dorm interiors. That was a cool gig. Rob joined us for the fall as he still had 2 classes to take but by Christmas he was back to southern Cal.

   In May of 1997, Scott and I graduated. It was sort of a sad time as I was closing a chapter of a positive period in life. The next month, we moved to a family(Scott's family that is)owned apartment in Santa Rosa in the Rincon Valley area. I liked that location a lot, but we got an even better gig 8 months later when we moved to another family-owned place close-by for RENT FREE...in exchange for us taking Scott's grandma June wherever she needed to go. As I was more sporadically employed with either temp jobs or substitute teaching during this period, I was the one who more often did this, and it was a pleasure. June and I had already become good friends in all the times Scott and I went to her house to do laundry the past 3 years.

   In early 2000, I went back to Sonoma State for the classes to get a teaching credential and graduated in mid 2001. Once again I met some good people, but most good people tend to be fleeting when the time is up. This was no exception. I did maintain a friendship with my classmate Jacqueline up until I moved to Las Vegas.

   In the realm of social (dating) life, I was still not what many would consider in the stud category and this was evident when trying to get a dating life going in AND out of college. During my bachelor degree-seeking years, I was interested in Kimberly and a frequent classmate named Sarah, but alas no romantic sparks with either (though my friendship with Kimberly has been renewed in recent years when she moved to Las Vegas). Out of college, it took a while but I had an on again/off again relationship with another Sarah, a Chinese girl, for about 2 years, as well as with a girl named Jody for 2 brief spells in 2000 and 2002. The dating waters had definitely gotten warmer, but it wasn't hot until Las Vegas...well at least a more constant SIMMER there!

   Besides going on drives and trips with Scott, I took frequent drives by myself. My favorite drive was a nighttime jaunt to Goat Rock State Beach. On clear nights, you could see tons of stars in the sky...on cool nights that was a personally satisfying feeling. 

   Toward the end of my time in northern California, Scott's grandma June had a bad fall and she had to move to a sort of nursing residence. Scott and I moved into her house to keep an eye on things. That year between graduating from the teaching program and moving to Las Vegas was probably my most restless time, and it was certainly a period of depression. After getting a swift kick in the ass from my own grandma, I proceeded to get on finding teaching jobs and interviews and what not. It was a long frustrating period...one trip even involved a car accident...until I interviewed in Fresno for the Vegas job. Once I got the YOU'RE HIRED packet in the mail, my whole demeanor changed and I had a light at the end of the proverbial tunnel.

   All in all, I could live these 8 years over again in a heartbeat, maybe change one or two things...but then again, life's direction has a purpose, so one must have some faith in the course of nature...or say FUCK IT. One's choice.

Southern California Here I Come...and Long Gone! (California Time Part 1)

    As I drove my new Corolla down Cajon Pass last week, I wondered if I'd reach San Diego alive! It was only Tuesday and things were backing up already! Not that I'd expect any less, the Cajon pass is a mess of cars and trucks either braking down a long decline or trying to race through the maze of vehicles at all times! However, as I continued into Rancho Cucamonga and northern Riverside County past several major freeway interchanges, I was almost frozen with panic as cars weaved irresponsibly without signal through the lanes to get to...wherever...my guess would be the theme compounds in Orange County, since after Corona, the stress level eased considerably, and the drive into San Diego County was relatively stressless.

   It wasn't always this bad, at least traffic-wise.

   In 1992, my parents moved from Reading, Pennsylvania to San Diego, California. I was still in college at the time, pushing somewhat weakly through my classes at West Virginia University. I was definitely a small fish in a big pond then, and was realizing that maybe I'd made a mistake in my college selection. I was about to find out that the small fish feeling was to remain for a bit longer.

   During Spring Break, I took a plane trip to spend time in my future new surroundings. I had never been to San Diego before then, but I'd seen San Francisco, Los Angeles, and Yosemite, so I was excited for something new. When I arrived in the evening, I noticed that the airport was very close to downtown. That downtown twinkled pleasantly at night and made me feel welcome.

   At that point, my parents had not yet moved to the house on Carmel Ridge Road, they were renting an apartment on El Cajon Blvd near the La Mesa city limit. I was really glad to see our old Scottish terrier Mac waiting for us, though he had to have a muzzle in the apartment while we were gone. During that week, we went to see a show at the Improv with my Aunt Terry, saw the new house, drove all around the area, and saw a movie or two. My dad was working on the regular days, so my mom and I hung out most of that time, though we were all together for dinners. 

   My initial impression of San Diego was positive for the most part, and since I wasn't really enjoying college life (and my GPA reflected that more or less), I opened my mind to it. My one big sadness was not seeing any of my old buddies in Pennsylvania anymore. Apart from my aunt, cousin, and parents, I had nobody else in San Diego...at least not yet.

   In early May, I took off permanently for San Diego. My dad picked me up at the airport, and my mom had my favorite dinner (chicken, mashed potatoes, corn, and cranberry sauce) ready at the new house. All my stuff was set up in my new room. The only thing I had to do was adjust. That weekend we went out to celebrate Mother's Day at a nice restaurant, and in that month, my dad and I enjoyed the final Johnny Carson show together. Well, that was May.

   The summer was spent somewhat well, with my mom and I taking extension courses at UCSD...she went for paralegal and I went for screenwriting. Nothing ever came of either, but I did get to practice a new craft and it got me writing a bit more. Apart from that, I had no wheels, so my mom or dad had to cart me around. It wasn't all that fun and mostly I was staying up late and sleeping in late.

   In the fall I took some really dis-spiriting jobs as a vacuum salesperson, product demonstrater at Price Club (later Costco), and advertising flyer deliverer in Rancho Bernardo. The vacuum gig, failed as it was, got me more oriented with the San Diego area, but that was about it. My cousin giving me her old Nintendo didn't really help me much. In fact, it isolated me more and it wasn't healthy.

   My Aunt Terry had gotten married (or rather remarried) to a nice Finnish guy and he and I got along great. In fact, I'd say Pekkah Taipale was probably the best friend I made in my time in San Diego. With him in town were his two sisters, a brother in law, and some other remote family members we got to know. 

   In early 1993, my mom finally found employment at a college library and my sister got married up in Ridgecrest where she was stationed in the Navy. Apart from another extension course (in Spanish) and a short term job putting together a dollar store that lasted a couple weeks, I wasn't making much social progress...or financial or anything else.

   Then came May and I had established residency...that meant getting me back to school! A new era had begun. I didn't really make permanent alliances while at Miramar College, but I was focused for the first time in a while, and I did meet some good classmates in all the semesters I was there (4 semesters total). College also meant being around females more often. That was definitely healthy!

   On school days, I would drive to campus listening to The Doors, attend a class or two, maybe head home for lunch and a nap, then go back for more. I also found a really good Chinese place for lunch in that time...the Quik Wok. It was there that I found a scrumptious garlic chicken dish that was to become my staple for a year.

   Besides a tour of college campuses in northern California and a soul-refreshing visit to Pennsylvania for New Year's, school was dominant focus and as I had chosen Sonoma State, my pursuit of good to great grades increased.  In the summer 1994 semester, I even made the dean's list!

   I seem to deviate from the San Diego topic here, but aside from school in that second year, I didn't really see much aside from our house where I did school work, wrote a bit here and there, and ate and slept, and the Miramar College campus, I didn't have much else...until I found the beach!

   It does sound strange that it took me nearly 2 years to find the jewel that San Diego really was! I don't even remember how it happened or exactly when, but one day I drove around and came upon a parking lot for Torrey Pines State Beach. It was free, so I parked, walked all the way up to Del Mar, then back. The next time, I did the same but had a beer or 2 at a local pub, then walked back. Aside form Quik Wok, I had a new pastime. Actually, I came to the beach more than I was downing garlic chicken after a while. 

   As Sonoma State approached, I did the beach a lot more. I hadn't made any permanent alliances at school, though I was sort of becoming a groupie/friend of sorts with a local metal band (one of its members was a classmate). Female pursuits hadn't really materialized, and when you're 21 and living with parents and unemployed, there's not much of a draw.

   My departure for Sonoma State pretty much ended my 2 year experience in San Diego. I did go back for holidays and visits and still do occasionally. In those ensuing years, my parents divorced and found new loves and eventual marriages...and my mom lost her second husband. 

   Our most recent visit was brief due to budget, but we stayed in Encinitas and did some beach time while visiting with my dad and stepmom in La Jolla for a few hours. I loved the time actually there, but not the travel. The new generation of drivers scares the shit out of me.

   My overall opinion of San Diego itself is positive. It's a beautiful area geographically and it has several microclimates. If you want beach, there's plenty of that. If you want mountains, visit Julian sometime and enjoy some apple pie and coffee while there. If you want desert without casinos, check out Borrego Springs. Inland San Diego where we lived is mostly residential with the necessary retail accommodations, with towns like Lemon Grove, El Cajon, La Mesa, Poway, Santee, and Escondido. My sister and her first husband lived in Escondido for a short time with their first child, and North County Fair was a half decent mall. 

   In terms of traffic, it wasn't bad 30 years ago, but since then, I 5 and I 15 are hell in a handbasket!

   As to my personal memories, they are of loneliness and depression in those 2 years, though less so in year two. Having a variety of connections is key.

Las Vegas: The Land of New Beginnings...Over and Over!

    In the summer of 1988, our family was on a southern California vacation, and my dad decided to take us to Las Vegas in the middle of it. What I remember of that desert drive is the lonely long stretches on Interstate 15 after we left the Victorville area. There were Barstow, Yermo, and Baker of course, but in between were vast stretches of gold and brown loneliness. Las Vegas, of course, was a true desert jewel! Lots of dazzling lights, not many skyscrapers then, many restaurants, and the promise of entertainment at every facility. There were NO promises of riches, only fun and food...which a 15 year old like me enjoyed, even if it was just at the Sahara Hotel pool. One place I remember looking for was the Riviera Hotel as the final season of The Hollywood Squares (1980-81) had been produced there(that's where my mind was then, TV land and roads!).

   We didn't stay long. The next day, we took a drive to Hoover Dam so my dad could see all the engineering marvel of it. I wasn't all that interested in that part, though the view from the bottom was pretty neat.  After the tour, we headed back to the the megalopolis that was Los Angeles.

   Who knew or could have even guessed that I would be living there in 14 years?

   Before Las Vegas, I had been living in Sonoma County, California, mostly in Santa Rosa, for 8 years. When I learned that the Clark County School District had hired me, I was thrilled, but also had a LOT of preparing to do, mostly mental preparation....getting ready to live in a new place in a new town alone was going to take some doing. I was 29 and hadn't really lived alone at that point. My somewhat strange psych-up was watching the 2001 remake of Ocean's 11 many many times. CSI didn't really excite me for the move as well, but there were fun stories on it. 

   In July of 2002, my mom and I traveled to Las Vegas to see my new workplace, Tom Williams Elementary School, and got myself an apartment near Nellis AFB, which wasn't too far from the school at all. It was a hot, humid July weekend, and we had driven in on a stormy Friday night. We stayed at Circus Circus, a pretty decent place actually, for 2 nights. My overall impression was...undecided. I got living quarters taken care of for sure, but a weekend in Vegas with my mom didn't give a reality hint at all...but that was soon to come.

   Three weeks later, my dad and I arrived at the Nellis Oasis Apartments in the early afternoon of August 2, 2002. We had left Santa Rosa at about 2:30 a.m. and were already zonked from the 11 hour drive. After some time in a nice air-conditioned office signing papers and giving the Oasis people money, we spent a hot few hours unloading my car and his rental truck.

   Unlike the trip with my mom, I had a much different feeling about this one. This was permanent. I had said farewell to my just-one-year-short-of-a-common-law-marriage roommate Scott the previous night. All my stuff was packed up. Apart from Scott, I hadn't really made any firm connections in Sonoma County. temp jobs and substitute teaching made daily money but were lonely jobs in nature. Dating had been pretty slim and unfulfilling, too. 

   After we finished unpacking, my dad and I went in search of some good food and perhaps a beer. Las Vegas Boulevard in North Las Vegas did not have attractive selections, most looked seedy or just plain fast food. We went further down and finally saw an attractive sign: Tony Roma's at the Stardust! We were there, dude! A couple beers and some ribs and we were ourselves again. Back at my new apartment, Dad just sacked out on the floor as I slept in my bed. The next morning he was up before dawn, wrote me a check to get some basic supplies, and he was gone. I never saw or heard him go.

   I think that's important to note because when I did wake up, I was truly on my own for the first time in my life! It was an exciting feeling...a scary one at that! It was just me and my stuff and there was some organizing to do for sure, but the first order of business was breakfast and a plan for the day.

   After filling up at a nearby Chevron for $1.43 (yay 2002 prices!) I asked the clerk for a tip on good breakfast. He recommended the Blueberry Hill on Las Vegas Blvd. across form the base. I went there, loved it, and ended up eating there every Saturday for the next 4 years. After that, I found the Wal Mart close by and did a little stocking up of food and cleaning supplies. That Nellis Wal Mart would be a main store for me for the next few years. Sadly it closed a few years after moving to a new neighborhood. The crime had gotten pretty bad around there.

   The rest of that day was spent organizing the living room and dining room areas, mostly my videos. It was all VHS at that point, I had not yet acquired a DVD player at that point. The next day, I wanted to explore a bit more. A movie sounded good. After looking at the newspaper listings, I decided on Austin Powers:Goldmember, playing at the Regal Theatres at Texas Station. In Vegas terms (as I would soon learn), it wasn't that far away.  

   Texas Station itself would be a main movie venue for me in the years to come. They had a good food court, the theatre itself was pretty big, I occasionally enjoyed some slot play, and there was a good basement level bowling alley. The buffet also was enjoyable. Overall, there was a basic hominess, aside from the constant cigarette smoke, in the place. Until COVID hit, it was a pretty regular place for me and Vickie.

   As time went on, I saw many changes to the Strip. The Riviera, Sahara, and Stardust all eventually went away, as did the "family-friendly" theme that Vegas was dabbling with before I arrived. Seriously, when people on the main drag are giving out hooker flyers near a family-themed venue, the reality sets in, and the fantasy fades away in a blink.

  As I got comfy in my new workplace, I continued to explore my new city and the surrounding desert. I took a drive one weekend around the Lake Mead area, winding up at Logandale and Overton before meeting I 15 and heading back. Another day I went to Mt Charleston and had a drink and snack at the Lodge, which would become a regular destination to get relief from the summer heat as well as an eventual Christmas Eve mecca for me and Vickie. Sadly the lodge burned down last year...that sadness remains with me to this day and I remain hopeful for a new place to premiere before I die.

   I also took a drive to Pahrump one day. I had heard about it from a few people. Pahrump is in neighboring Nye County, and has been known as a legal brothel town. Of course, as time has passed, more families have moved there for more economical living conditions and the brothel life has taken more of a back seat, though they still do exist. I wasn't particularly impressed by the town, but state highway 160 had some scenery as it looped back to U.S. 95 30 miles to the northwest.

   On Friday nights when I was unaccompanied (which were several in the early months), I would sometimes go to the Red Lobster on Decatur, enjoy a meal at the bar, then maybe cruise to the Stratosphere and ride to the top to enjoy Vegas from high up.

   One of my favorite nerdy activities was going to Best Buy at Best of the West on Lake Mead and stocking up on music, movies, and TV show full series on DVD...once I bought the DVD player, I went disc-wild! Probably a bit too much at times, but that's where I was in life.

   In the course of three years, I had many dates though most were one-shots. There were some regulars, some semi-regulars, but I didn't find happiness until I found Vickie in early 2006. At 5'5 and somewhat round in the middle, I was not Captain Stud and did not get to enjoy the empty high-life of constant 1-night stands, clubbing, and buying expensive meals and drinks in hopes of achieving those brief carnal experiences. Somehow, though, I think being me helped to avoid trouble and disease.

   As with any new experience and location, like a penny, time does a lot to dull the shine. New casino hotels replaced the old, new ugly residence towers shot up quickly, and although the Las Vegas Strip is a beautiful gem in the night, in the daytime it is an ugly-looking city. Now, I say that as a RESIDENT WHO DOES NOT LIVE ON THE STRIP! Most residents live nowhere NEAR the Strip, in fact. Most of us live in residential neighborhoods consisting of houses or apartment complexes, with local retail venues supplying our daily needs. Yet on the Strip, especially on weekends (though weekdays are getting just as bad), people come from all over, mostly southern California, on Fridays, get in all their jollies at night, sleep hung over in the daytime, and resume their vampire status later in the day, then go home on either Sunday or Monday if they called in sick. I learned early on to NEVER go to visit my California family on a Sunday, I-15 doesn't handle it well.

   Despite the healthy distance from The Strip, The Strip itself dominates the landscape from almost all angles, almost a reminder of why we as residents get to enjoy BEING residents in the first place.

   As for teaching, I will begin my 21st year in the CCSD soon. I am at my third and favorite school and still enjoy what I do...I just don't always enjoy who I do it for and I don't mean the kids.

   It is not a city for everyone. Early in my teaching career, my school district would hire a few thousand new teachers every year...and often within months, those new hires would run away for their own reasons. Sometimes they realized who they were working for and escaped with their souls, but I suspect most left because Las Vegas is not a place that supports weak constitutions. If you want your green lawn and well-landscaped parks, it's not for you. If you like only occasionally hot summer days, then Vegas is definitely not for you! All that said, I have met many a Las Vegas native and they couldn't live anywhere else, it is home to them. They have a particular angle on Vegas living, and like newbie residents they know where to go to get what they need and want. 

   Las Vegas, like other cities, is what you make of it for yourself. While many are gambling or enjoying the Forum Shops at Caesar's Palace, there are many also getting hardware at Home Depot or Lowe's, or eating at their favorite fast food joint, or bowling, or eating, or just stating home to enjoy the AC. I have been here for 20 years now, and while I can happily say I am a 4-year homeowner, I cannot see myself living here at 70 years old. The water emergency is real, and idiots keep building more and more and don't see the big picture. I see more new beginnings for me down the road, but for the time being, I remain.

   Happy 20 years to me living here!