It's a Friday night in 1985. You have no plans, no sex life, not even a dog to watch! When asked what your plans are, what do you say?
A. I'm doing laundry, hair, and nails all in one sitting
B. I'm a eunuch
C. I'm Bryan Moore, who are you kidding?
D. Are you crazy? Dallas is on!
Now, in all reality and in respect to the joys of self-deprecation, choice C is a sure-fire invitation to pity if you're into that form of masochism, but the real answer, and obvious segue, is D for Dallas!
Dallas was a Friday night staple on CBS for 12 years, and did fairly well in syndicated reruns for a while after. I actually got into it the summer of 1990 on one of the Philly local channels, and got to see the episode where J.R. Ewing got shot. In fact, I remember when I was 8 I had heard all about the show without seeing an episode. When my dad was going on a business trip to Dallas, I told him, "Watch out for J.R.!"
After years of catching the rerun circuit on local channels, TNT, and TNN, I finally bought the whole series on DVD for about $150 over 6 years ago. As I watched the entire series, I noted how the cable channels really cut up the show, particularly TNN, for more ads.
Recently I took out the box set and began watching again. After 5 seasons straight through, I realized I didn't want to sit through every episode, because I pretty much know the series by heart and many storylines dragged through 28+ episode seasons, so I am catching what I consider are highlights for the final 9 years.
All that said, what was it about this show that kept up so much momentum? Well, it worked on a few different interest levels. It started at a Romeo and Juliet kind of familial war between the rich Ewings and working class Barnes's. There was of course a large sense of trashiness with a lot of sex, cheating, and drinking. On top of that, there was a dark light shone upon oil companies and their greed for more riches.
What really tied it all together was Larry Hagman's portrayal of ruthless J.R. Ewing. Viewers had previously known him as handsome, often hapless, Major Tony Nelson on I Dream of Jeannie. Within one episode, the whole 5 episode spring 1978 miniseries (counted on the box set as season 1), J.R. was pretty well spelt out as a guiltless philandering husband who ran his dad Jock's company Ewing Oil any damn well way he pleased...which often ended up screwing competitors and even implied friendly business associates out of money, land, or both.
One could really write a book about the psyche of J.R., but I don't have the inclination or rights to that so I'll sum him up as best as I can. At first his main goals were to establish Ewing Oil as the biggest independent oil company in Texas, along with getting rid of Cliff Barnes, a Texas politician who had a beef with the whole Ewing family over what he thought was the Ewings screwing his dad Digger out of riches decades ago. Ewing Oil had its highs and lows throughout the series, even was disbanded for a year by the Federal government due to J.R.'s dealings with a terrorist for hire, but he did get rid of Cliff as a political rival only to gain him as a business rival.
Here's a brief rundown of J.R.'s crooked business ploys (it won't SEEM brief, but it is)
1. Created a forgery of Jock's will to gain the rights to drill on Southfork (the family estate/ranchland) for oil.
2. Bought leases to Asian Oil Wells (by mortgaging Southfork behind his parents' back) and not letting the local oil cartel in, then sold them the leases upon learning the wells were about to be nationalized, causing financial ruin for some...one person committed suicide.
3. Financed a revolution to get those same wells back.
4. Bought all of Clayton Farlow's oil and stockpiled it to force his wife Sue Ellen to leave Dusty Farlow and return son John Ross to Southfork to please Jock.
5. Set up Cliff with a phony deal to ruin him and get Sue Ellen back (still to get John Ross back on Southfork). This resulted in Cliff attempting suicide.
6. Blackmailed an official to get an oil variance to set up cut rate gas stations and sold oil to Cuba in order to win Ewing Oil in a year-long battle with brother Bobby.
7. Set up Cliff (again) in an offshore drilling scheme to financially ruin Cliff...it backfired when Cliff struck oil.
8. When oil prices were falling due to Arabs glutting the market, J.R. contracted terrorist for hire B.D. Calhoun to blow up Arab fields to raise the oil prices. This ended up costing the family the company.
9. Worked with greedy Casey Denault to get Ewing assets back from those who bought them when Ewing Oil was disbanded, and schemed to take over rival WestStar..he gained the assets but Sue Ellen stopped him.
From that last point on, J.R. was less in control of things in terms of business each successive season. It seemed as if everyone was truly onto him more and more and easily blocked him. In terms of personal schemes, he had a number of mistresses that he bedded while married to Sue Ellen, TWICE married to her to be exact. He also waged many a one-up on poor Cliff, including stealing Cliff's girlfriend Mandy, constantly plotted to get Bobby's wife Pamela ("that Barnes woman") out of his life, bullied Sue Ellen relentlessly for the first few seasons, and, in arguably his most chilling scheme, blackmailed a government official who had a secret past as a child molester into letting him see the offshore tracts for auction to set up Cliff. He also bedded a naive country girl then was forced to marry her by her redneck brothers. That was the start of his lack of cunning superiority and growing paranoia.
But wait, there's more!
The second most fascinating character is Sue Ellen. At the start, she is a very proper wife doing all of the wifely duties along with serving on many social committees and acting superior. This of course all a charade to mask her frustration at J.R. not making love to her anymore and therefore not being able to bear a Ewing child. She has a 1 night stand with ranch foreman Ray Krebbs and then a slightly longer affair with Cliff and gets pregnant. Shunned by Cliff eventually and even more so by J.R. , she takes more and more to the bottle and J.R. forces her into a sanitarium where she gives birth to John Ross.
But who was the father? It was J.R.'s after all after several months assuming he was Cliff's. Sue Ellen in the meantime...
1. Found new love in Dusty Farlow before he was thought to be killed in a plane crash
2. Felt new loyalty to J.R. after he was shot, but that lasted only a bit over a month once he bedded Afton Cooper at Lucy's wedding.
3. Reunited with Dusty even though he was crippled and impotent, and took John Ross to the Farlow estate Southern Cross with Pamela's help.
4. Left Dusty and after a controlled (by J.R.s mom Ellie) divorce found her way BACK to J.R...she wasn't quite ready for the single life.
5. After discovering J.R. cheating on her again, she drank again, but got off the bottle not long after, and had an affair with much younger Peter Richards, who was John Ross's camp counselor...even getting pregnant by him but suffered a miscarriage.
6. Reunited with J.R. in bed for a short time before he found Mandy Winger.
7. Drank out of guilt when John Ross was sick (aided by J.R.'s bullying)
8. Got off the bottle and bought Valentine Lingerie at first to embarrass J.R. and mess with Mandy's head, but it turned into a successful business and showed just how much Sue Ellen had grown in confidence. This period (1986-87) marked a permanent change in her. Instead of J.R. getting her goat, the tables were turned.
9. Found new love with investment banker Nicholas Pearce, but he later died after a high balcony struggle with J.R. over a gun.
10. Made a movie about her life with J.R. and used it to blackmail J.R. into never messing with her or hurting John Ross. This was her exit.
I find Sue Ellen so fascinating in those later seasons because she is no longer a woman who was "trained" by her mother into marrying the perfect man...she found independence and happiness...and more importantly self control.
My least favorite character? Lucy Ewing! Always a spoiled brat, she started as a school skipping nympho who regularly bedded Ray Krebbs, had 2 ruined engagements, found out that Ray was her uncle (though nobody mentioned this in season 4, this pretty much beats Luke and Leia's more than sibling level kiss in terms of EWWWWW factor!) She eventually found love and marriage with medical student Mitch Cooper, but her spoiled ways killed that. She was later raped by obsessive modeling photographer Roger and got pregnant and then aborted the baby, found new love with Mickey Trotter before he was paralyzed, then tried for Peter Richards but J.R. had him run out of town. She eventually reunited with Mitch and left, then came back for 2 years with nothing stories and left again. In many ways she was a bigger loser than Cliff.
All right, that is quite enough before I write an entire book, though my next bit is about the cliffhangers!
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