I've Got a 2022 and It's Got Excedrin Written All Over It

    All I can say about this year really is...uuuggghhhh!

   So I guess the question here is why was the year so bad? I suppose it wasn't bad for EVERYONE, but personally speaking it was just a slice of hell on stale rye for me. The first month saw us all in masks still and we were all tired of the whole damn thing, especially at work. On top of that, we had to do a daily check-in of our overall health and temperature reading. THAT didn't go away until September!

   Not ashamed to say that as spring got closer, I was feeling some other stuff inside that got me feeling, well, low on the sanity/emotional health spectrum. Thankfully I have a good support network that helped me to get through it. Some therapy also came into play, but it didn't have the desired outcome...perhaps more down the road might be in order in this coming year if need be. Really I just need to get back to eating healthy and getting my ass outside for physical meditation.

   As for the actual teaching, it was ok for the most part, although in mid May over half my class was quarantined...literally a week from the end of the year! Then came a few weeks of summer school where I focused on American history in the 20th century. 

   Near the end of that period, my new Corolla finally came in! That helped to make a happy if brief summer vacay! 

   My daughter turned 13.

   I turned 50.

   Then came the current school year. Frankly, every few years we teachers get a group of kids who are just tough to build a positive relationship with, and this is one of those years. Will it get better? Time will tell.

   On the news, events were just not heartwarming. The presence of Donald Trump was still around as the Congressional committee investigating January 6, 2021 pieced together clues and testimony for what we all really knew in our minds from that actual day almost 2 years ago now.  

   Gas prices surged in the western part of the nation...in California some towns went over $7 per gallon! We did get a nice treat in December of under $4, but I can already see the prices starting to creep up again.

   The war in the Ukraine sparked support for that poor nation against Russia...but really it was a temporary thing to distract us from what was happening at home...specifically inflation of food and goods prices! I'm still waiting for egg prices to drop to something more reasonable!

   Monkeypox...another quick panic to get people focused on something other than reality.

   Cryptocurrency crashes...I never understood it, never invested in it, so no biggie for me.

   Midterm elections: about as fun as midterm exams in college! At the very least, the Republican party was finally realizing that Donald Trump was not so much a kingmaker, more of a court jester-maker, and most of his handpicked candidates lost.

   Roe vs Wade, after 49 years, was overturned. Quite frankly I think the damage from this move will be greater than the overturners imagined over time. I will not get into my beliefs on this one, but there was missed opportunity for a reformed law as opposed to overturned law here, and all for vain politics. Such a waste!

   As far as I'm concerned, the best part of this year was my road trip with my mom. I took her from San Diego to Fayetteville, North Carolina, a nice 4 day trip where we had a lot of time to talk about lots of things and see parts of the country we had not seen previously. Say what you will about western Texas, but one must define the word "empty" carefully, for there was no real emptiness that I could see. Not always the most interesting, but not a vast flat plain, either. In Alabama, I got to see an old friend from junior high and high school after 33 years apart for a little bit. Plus, I finally got a chance to meet my grand nephews and grand niece along with my beloved nephew Ian and his wife Alexis.

   All right, now it is time to revisit the celebrity deaths of the year...quite numerous as always...and my disclaimer if you feel I missed someone: I list the people with whom I have a sense of familiarity.

January: Dan Reeves, Peter Bogdanovich, Sidney Poitier, Dwayne Hickman, Bob Saget, Ronnie Spector, Ralph Emery, Yvette Mimieux, Meat Loaf, Gary Hart, Donald May, and Howard Hesseman

February: Ivan Reitman, Sally Kellerman (light month)

March: Conrad Janis, Johnny Brown, Tim Considine, Mitchell Ryan, Traci Braxton, William Hurt, Madeleine Albright, and Kathryn Hays

April: Nehemiah Persoff, Bobby Rydell, Orrin Hatch, David Birney, and Naomi Judd

May: Charles Siebert, Jerry verDorn, Jewell, Mickey Gilley, Fred Ward, Lee Lawson, Ray Liotta, and Bo Hopkins

June: Barry Sussman, Jim Seals, and Philip Baker Hall

July: James Caan, Larry Storch, Ivana Trump, Rebecca Balding, Taurean Blacque, Paul Sorvino, Tony Dow, and Nichelle Nichols

August: Clu Gulager, Roger E. Mosley, John Abdo, Anne Heche, Joe E. Tata, and Robert LuPone

September: Bernard Shaw, Mark Miller, Kenneth Starr, Louise Fletcher, and Coolio

October: Judy Tenuta, Ann Flood, Jerry Lee Lewis, and Andrew Prine

November: Robert Clary, Irene Cara, and Clarence Gilyard 

December: Christine McVie, Bob McGrath, Kirstie Alley, Stuart Margolin, Maggie Thrett, Pele, Pope Benedict XVI, and Barbara Walters

   Well, let's wrap up this gas station sushi roll of a year once and for all!

   Happy and peaceful 2023 to all!  

   

   

Brazil or Paraguay? Where to go, Where to go?

    (innocent reader on their knees): No, please! I promise I'll do anything! Just don't do this!

   (me): I have no choice! I have to! I must!

   (innocent reader): If I read another book/movie review/comparison, I'll die a horrible death! 

   (me): If you use 2 slashes again in one sentence, I'll kill you myself...AFTER you read!

   OK, OK, a little extreme, but these review/comparisons get stale at the beginning sometimes! Well, some exciting news first... I have discovered an author this year that I had never read previously: Ira Levin! I saw a hardcover first edition of The Stepford Wives last Spring at a small antique store for a reasonable price and had to get it. Not only that, I actually dared to open it and (gasp) READ it!

   Levin is actually an easy author to read, and Stepford was a quickie. Later in the year as I was preparing to take my mom across the country, my wife got me The Boys From Brazil. It was intended to be read a bit throughout the trip when we stopped for the night, but I only got a few pages in on the plane ride back from North Carolina. I just recently picked it up again during my Christmas holiday and sure enough, I got through it in a few days, finishing it on Christmas in fact.

   What is this one about? Simply, Nazis! Specifically, it is about a complicated plot by Joseph Mengele, having been forced into the jungles of Brazil, to clone a whole  new generation of Adolph Hitlers via tissue samples left to him ceremoniously by Hitler himself. After the fertilization and insertion into Brazilian women, the successful births are then put up for adoption for just the right types of families in Europe and America...the right types being a tyrannical father and loving mother of specific ages.

   When the fathers are at about 65 years of age, Mengele sends out a hit squad of devoted Aryans to kill them. The reason? Hitler's dad died at that age. It is all a carefully concocted plan to mirror Hitler's teen years so one or more of them can be a nation's new fuhrer. In fact, this is so detailed that the book really is a bit of science fiction, a combo of cloning basics and psychological conditioning.

   To balance this out, there is detective work involved on behalf of a former Nazi hunter named Yakov Liebermann who gets a tip from a spy at Mengele's briefing at a Japanese restaurant in Brazil at the book's start on some of the names of those to be assassinated. Yakov hears only a bit before Mengele and a hit squad kill the spy in his hotel room, but moves on it with his limited resources due to financial and organizational troubles.

   Yakov meets with the wife of one of the victims and meets her son, thinking nothing of it. However, when he interviews another victim's wife and meets her son, he is shocked to see the exactitude of this boy to the first one, right down to the blue eyes! After consulting a biology professor and the imprisoned Nazi woman who handled the illegal adoptions, along with the list the spy gave him, he pieces together the intricate puzzle. At first he is confused because Mengele has brown eyes, then he realizes who the boys will become, as well as pieces together who the next victim will be.

   Meanwhile, Mengele's Nazi backers are growing nervous when they hear of Liebermann's snooping and call back the assassins. Mengele is furious and decides to handle the killings himself, as well as take care of Liebermann once and for all. In fact, Ira Levin makes Mengele a master of disguise, almost like Artemus Gordon from The Wild Wild West. Through trickery, he gets Liebermann's location and target: the Wheelock family near Lancaster, PA. Mengele meets Mr. Wheelock who has a menacing team of Dobermans, and says he is Liebermann. He convinces Wheelock to put the dogs away, then assassinates him on the basement stairs. 

   Liebermann arrives and Mengele tries to Americanize his voice, but Liebermann sees through it and the two engage in a struggle, with Liebermann badly injured by gunshots, but not before he releases the dogs. The teen Bobby Wheelock arrives and calls off the dogs tentatively. Mengele tries to persuade the boy of his mission and their identities and paint Liebermann as the villain. Luckily, Bobby doesn't buy it and has the dogs kill Mengele with a command of "Mustard"(kill). Incidentally, "ketchup: told the dogs to be calm and "pickles" put them on close menacing guard. Bobby agrees to call for medical help if Liebermann stays quiet about Bobby ordering the dogs to kill. Liebermann and the young Hitler shake on it...a dark irony considering Liebermann's life.

   At the end, the Jewish Defense League is happy Mengele is dead, but want Liebermann's list of names so they can kill all the boys as a precaution. Liebermann refuses and flushes the list down the toilet, opting to let the boys grow on their own and assume world conditions won't bring a new Hitler forward to take control.

   Like Stepford Wives, Boys From Brazil is more or less satirical (the former was more satirical) in nature. Nazi Germany was only in power  just over 30 years before Levin published the book in 1976, so surviving "Lost Generation" and older Baby Boomers were well informed on the second world war and the Holocaust. Other post-war Nazi stories were published in the 1970s as well, so Levin was well-versed on facts to create this satire, as much as he had some insight on Women's Lib to write Stepford. I liked the way the story unfolded, with the plot thickener of the cloning coming about mid-book. Nothing felt too rushed or too slow, and the coming showdown between Liebermann and Mengele had me reading almost the entire second half in one night!

   One nice thing about the 1970s was that film adaptations of books generally came within a year or two of the book's publication, since George Lucas-style special effects had not yet revolutionized the film industry. The book was published in 1976 and the movie was released in 1978. Gregory Peck played Mengele and Sir Laurence Olivier played Liebermann, though his first name was changed to Ezra for some odd reason. Also, the Nazis were working out of Paraguay, so the title makes no sense at all. Apart from that, the movie is pretty faithful to the book overall.

   What got me laughing was the fight near the end between Peck and Olivier...Peck was 62 and Olivier was 71, so it was like watching Grumpy Old Men in a darker version! Also, there is a drawback to being too faithful to a book at times, though Levin's writing makes adaptation pretty easy.

   In conclusion, if you're into Nazi lore at all merely as a subject of history, this book is quite an entertaining bit of fantasy and sci-fi, even though the very end of the book shows one of the clones having an artful vision of a man giving a great speech to a crowd, an ironic but expected foreshadowing after Liebermann flushed the list in a show of good faith. As to book vs movie, take the book, which I usually recommend anyway.

   Hopefully I did not harm any eyes in the writing of this blog.

Who Shot the Classic Serial part Deux...the Classic Cliffhangers

    Recently I revisited my Dallas (1978-91) box set...thinking at first I'd rewatch the whole series, but by the end of season 5 I was getting a bit worn from viewing entire seasons. Really, as the series gained height in popularity, it also gained in episode count per season (peaking at 31 episodes in season 9). Now, I know that seems tame compared to classic TV's standard 39 episodes in the 50s and early 60s, but as we all know from even the best TV series of our lifetimes...not all episodes are winners.

   In fact, at times Dallas dragged in its storylines. It dragged so much, in fact, that one station in Philly over 30 years ago decided to air the best of each season in 2 week installments, calling this collection "The Classic Cliffhangers". This was a fun relaxation for me during the summer of 1991, and this memory inspires me to go after all 14 cliffhangers instead of their 6, effectively wrapping up my viewing of the show for probably another several years.

Season 1 (1978)- Not so much of a season as a miniseries to see if it could do an entire fall to spring run, but it did set up the original characters  J.R., Bobby, Jock, Miss Ellie, Pam, Sue Ellen, Lucy, Ray, and Cliff nicely. In the last installment, Pamela fell from a hayloft to get away from a drunken J.R. and lost the baby she was carrying. 

Season 2 (1978-79)- The show's first full season focused on J.R.'s continued callous infidelity to Sue Ellen and her subsequent affair with J.R.'s arch enema (enemy) Cliff  Barnes, who dumped her in favor of his political future, just as she realized she was prego. As she'd slept with Cliff more than J.R. this season, it was assumed the baby was Cliff's, but Sue Ellen, stung at rejection by her husband AND her lover, turned increasingly to alcohol. In this season's cliffhanger, she and baby John Ross III were in critical danger as she'd drunkenly tried to escape from the sanitarium J.R. had forced her in and crashed the car.

Side note: This season also introduces Donna Culver (Susan Howard), Ray's eventual wife who would be on the show until season 10. I mention this because while I like her character, she was never a part of any cliffhanger.

Season 3 (1979-80)- J.R. made a slew of enemies in this season, even his own parents when he mortgaged the family home/ranch Southfork to finance an oil venture in Asia. When the Asian wells were nationalized, J.R. was alerted beforehand and sold the leases to the Dallas oil cartel and sleazy banker Vaughn Leland. On top of that, he'd hired ambitious attorney Alan Beam to lure Cliff out of local politics to run for a national post then pulled out Cliff's funding. When Alan tried to marry Lucy Ewing and stay in Dallas, J.R. ruined his career. Not only THAT, he had been sleeping with Sue Ellen's ambitious sister Kristin, but when she turned against him for abandoning her affections, he tried to frame her for prostitution. Icing on the cake was after learning he really was John Ross III's real daddy, he vowed that Sue Ellen would never take him away and upon her renewed drinking when lover Dusty Farlow (Jared Martin) was assumed dead from a plane crash, he tried her have her sent back to the sanitarium. J.R. was shot by a mysterious assailant in his office at the end of the season.

Side note: Starting in this season, Larry Hagman was looking trimmer and younger and the show looked a lot brighter color wise.

Season 4 (1980-81)- J.R. pulled through and waged a war against brother Bobby to regain control of Ewing Oil. He succeeded, then tried to build a new image via P.R. bloodhound Leslie Stewart (Susan Flannery). Unfortunately, during this rebuilding he financed a counter-revolution to regain the Asian Wells and Cliff got wind of it. Sue Ellen, tired of J.R. and wanting to build a new life with not-so-dead Dusty and baby John Ross, tried to get the baby out with Pamela's help. Plus, Kristin had returned to town and was apparently shaking down more than just J.R. for money regarding her baby's paternity. In the final episode, there was a female body in the pool  that Cliff found.

Side Note: Season 4 is the first of 3 seasons where Dallas was #1 in the Nielsens.

Season 5 (1981-82)- There was a definite separate 2 halves of this season. The first half involved J.R. trying to get Sue Ellen and John Ross away from Dusty and his father Clayton at their ranch in San Angelo. The second half was all about everyone coping with Jock's death, even J.R. Once recovered, J.R. waged a war against Cliff when he realized Cliff was pursuing Sue Ellen (she and J.R. were divorced), endangering his plan to get John Ross back on Southfork permanently. Playing on Cliff's newfound greed working at his newly-found mom's company, he set Cliff up for a fall and succeeded. The season ended with Cliff attempting suicide.

Side Note: Season 5 is the second of 3 seasons where Dallas was #1 in the Nielsens.

Season 6 (1982-83)- This whole season was all about dead Jock Ewing's will, creating a battle between Bobby and J.R. for control of Ewing Oil after a year. Several business battles, a lawsuit, and confrontations ensued. At season's end, Pam and Cliff's mom died, Bobby and Pam were splitting up, and a victim of J.R.'s crooked dealings tried to run J.R. off the road, but ended up hitting Sue Ellen and Ray's cousin Mickey. Once Ray found out who it was, he tried to kill J.R. with his bare hands but in the process of trying to defend himself, J.R. started a fire that threatened to burn down Southfork's main mansion.

Season 7 (1983-84)- Like season 3, many were hating J.R. When Cliff started stealing deals from his rival, J.R. set him up to bid on an offshore drilling venture by blackmailing a government official with the areas up for sale to reveal them so he'd know how to bait Cliff. Katherine Wentworth (Cliff and Pam's half sister) had tried to get Bobby to love her all season but failed, thanks mainly to J.R. And then young Peter Richards had an affair with Sue Ellen that jealous J.R. found out about and threatened to set Peter up on drug charges unless he left town and Sue Ellen returned to the marital bed. Indeed there was a gunshot in the Ewing offices...but it was Bobby who got hit!

Side Note: Season 7 is the final of 3 seasons where Dallas was #1 in the Nielsens. It is also, in my opinion, the best of the series.

Season 8 (1984-85)- Quite a busy season without a lot of draw story-wise. Much of it had to do with Bobby's old/new love Jenna Wade (Priscilla Presley) and her problems, but there was another story involving who really owned Ewing Oil via a document cousin Jamie Ewing (Jennilee Harrison) had. It looked like she and Cliff would own a third apiece, but Jamie's brother Jack (Dack Rambo) provided proof it wasn't true...for a tenth of Ewing Oil in payment. At the very end, Bobby decided he really wanted Pam back, but on the way out to tell his family, he took a car hit by crazy Katherine and died from his injuries...not precisely a cliffhanger, but a big finish. 

Season 9 (1985-86)- Now, I could easily just skip this season at it was the infamous "dream" season, and it wasn't a real winner aside from some good acting by Linda Gray showing Sue Ellen hitting rock bottom drinking and rising from the pit. Assumed dead former lover Mark Graison (John Beck) returned to help Pam in business and feelings. Evil businesswoman Angelica Nero (Barbara Carrera) tried to set up J.R. and Jack to die at a masquerade ball to gain control of her dead husband's empire. And then came Matt Cantrell (Marc Singer) to convince Pam to invest in Bobby's emerald mine in South America. At the end, Angelica planted a bomb in Jack's car and in J.R.'s office...only Sue Ellen and Jamie were the victims instead of the Ewing men...and suddenly Pam awakes in bed to see Bobby in the shower!

Season 10 (1986-87)- Like season 5, this season was in 2 parts. The first part dealt with newly hired ranch foreman Wes Parmalee (Steve Forrest) claiming to be Jock back from the dead and the family torn over it all, but Bobby (yes he was back) found out the man's true identity and the story abruptly ended. The second half was all about the end of Ewing Oil. J.R., panicked over falling oil prices, hired terrorist B.D. Calhoun to blow up some Middle Eastern oil fields, but panicked again when warned by the CIA and gave up Calhoun, who went after J.R. for revenge. Bobby and Ray killed Calhoun who was about to kill John Ross. The CIA covered it up, but longtime business rival Jeremy Wendell (William Smithers) of WestStar, seeking revenge for being double-crossed, learned of J.R.'s violation of national security and gave all evidence to the Justice Department, who shut down Ewing Oil.

Side note: To me, that was the end of the season, but a cliffhanger involving Pam crashing into an oil truck and creating a huge explosion, was the actual cliffhanger...but only to say sayonara to Victoria Principal. Incidentally, this was also a season where Cliff was at his worst. He was proving to be a horrible and weaselly businessman. On the other hand, Sue Ellen was becoming a great businesswoman with her new lingerie venture.

Season 11 (1987-88)- When J.R. loses, he doesn't lick his wounds, he springs like a tiger. All season was spent regaining lost Ewing assets while Bobby, fresh over Pam, is given an opportunity to get the Ewing Oil name back...as long as it is only him and not J.R. It all comes to a head when Bobby succeeds at Ewing Oil's rebirth name-wise, but J.R. loses his bid at WestStar thanks to Sue Ellen and seeks revenge by hiding John Ross. Sue Ellen and business advisor/lover Nicholas Pearce (Jack Scalia) confront him and a struggle ensues, ending with Nicholas being thrown off the high balcony of J.R.'s new condo (with a strange freeze frame of the fall for a second) )and Sue Ellen shooting J.R. 

Side note: Cliff redeemed himself this season big time by helping an oilman who reminds him of his father...and then when the man thinks Cliff cheated him, Cliff realizes that his long deceased bitter father was bitter for no good reason at all...then sweetly apologizes to Ellie for all the bad blood over the years.

Season 12 (1988-89)- A pretty disjointed season due to a writers' strike. It started with a range war set up by newly reseated and vengeful Jeremy Wendell, using "rancher" Carter McKay (George Kennedy) to buy Ray's house and land to set up the war. Once Jeremy was discovered and arrested, J.R. was forced to contend with his hick bride Cally (Cathy Podewell) and Carter as the new head of WestStar. On top of that, Sue Ellen was now in the movie business and had a movie made about her and J.R.'s life together. The season ends with her showing J.R. a rough cut of the film and threatening to release it if he ever tries to hurt her or John Ross. The once easily victimized Sue Ellen is now the victor and walks off into the London sunset with new love Don Lockwood (Ian McShane).

Season 13 (1989-90)- Way too many things going on in this season...Carter's son going after Bobby and anyone who he feels hurt his father, an oil tanker accident, J.R.'s long lost (and previously unknown) son James, and intrigue with Clayton's crazy sister Jessica killing many Dallas bigwigs. She is sent away again but not before J.R. learns she has valuable WestStar voting rights. He quite viciously torments Cally to get rid of her (perhaps a nod to the old J.R. 10 years ago) and goes to the sanitarium as a patient to get to Jessica for the voting rights, then gets his release taken away by a vengeful James.

Side note: We all know in serials/soaps that the start and end of seasons find the main characters in different situations, but J.R. was all over the place here. So was Cliff, who ended up being a Ewing foe again for a little while. Like season 9, quite unfocused but at least shorter.

Season 14 (1990-91)- All I can say here is it was a mercifully short season, focusing on Bobby finding the woman who was responsible for new bride April (pre-Walker Sheree J. Wilson) getting killed in Paris while J.R.'s grip on Ewing business slipped further away. A last failed grab at WestStar is foiled by Carter and long-unseen rival Dusty, and everyone except Bobby has left Southfork. A despondent J.R. is about to shoot himself, but not before "angel" Adam (Joel Grey) shows him what life would be like without a J.R. Ewing (Bobby a losing gambler, brother Gary a successful divorce attorney, Sue Ellen an actress, Cliff  the new President of the U.S. and Ray a crippled but happy family man) but only to depress him more to make him pull the trigger. We hear a gunshot and Bobby comes in shocked.

What happened? Well, in 2 later reunion movies J.R. was off somewhere turning his life around while Bobby had returned to ranching and Cliff was running Ewing Oil....until J.R. returns to mess up everyone's lives with a new twinkle in his eye!

Who shot the Classic Serial?

    It's a Friday night in 1985. You have no plans, no sex life, not even a dog to watch! When asked what your plans are, what do you say?

A. I'm doing laundry, hair, and nails all in one sitting

B. I'm a eunuch

C. I'm Bryan Moore, who are you kidding?

D. Are you crazy? Dallas is on!

   Now, in all reality and in respect to the joys of self-deprecation, choice C is a sure-fire invitation to pity if you're into that form of masochism, but the real answer, and obvious segue, is D for Dallas! 

   Dallas was a Friday night staple on CBS for 12 years, and did fairly well in syndicated reruns for a while after. I actually got into it the summer of 1990 on one of the Philly local channels, and got to see the episode where J.R. Ewing got shot. In fact, I remember when I was 8 I had heard all about the show without seeing an episode. When my dad was going on a business trip to Dallas, I told him, "Watch out for J.R.!"

   After years of catching the rerun circuit on local channels, TNT, and TNN, I finally bought the whole series on DVD for about $150 over 6 years ago. As I watched the entire series, I noted how the cable channels really cut up the show, particularly TNN, for more ads.

   Recently I took out the box set and began watching again. After 5 seasons straight through, I realized I didn't want to sit through every episode, because I pretty much know the series by heart and many storylines dragged through 28+ episode seasons, so I am catching what I consider are highlights for the final 9 years.

   All that said, what was it about this show that kept up so much momentum? Well, it worked on a few different interest levels. It started at a Romeo and Juliet kind of familial war between the rich Ewings and working class Barnes's. There was of course a large sense of trashiness with a lot of sex, cheating, and drinking. On top of that, there was a dark light shone upon oil companies and their greed for more riches.

   What really tied it all together was Larry Hagman's portrayal of ruthless J.R. Ewing. Viewers had previously known him as handsome, often hapless, Major Tony Nelson on I Dream of Jeannie. Within one episode, the whole 5 episode spring 1978 miniseries (counted on the box set as season 1), J.R. was pretty well spelt out as a guiltless philandering husband who ran his dad Jock's company Ewing Oil any damn well way he pleased...which often ended up screwing competitors and even implied friendly business associates out of money, land, or both.

   One could really write a book about the psyche of J.R., but I don't have the inclination or rights to that so I'll sum him up as best as I can. At first his main goals were to establish Ewing Oil as the biggest independent oil company in Texas, along with getting rid of Cliff Barnes, a Texas politician who had a beef with the whole Ewing family over what he thought was the Ewings screwing his dad Digger out of riches decades ago. Ewing Oil had its highs and lows throughout the series, even was disbanded for a year by the Federal government due to J.R.'s dealings with a terrorist for hire, but he did get rid of Cliff as a political rival only to gain him as a business rival.

Here's a brief rundown of J.R.'s crooked business ploys (it won't SEEM brief, but it is)

1. Created a forgery of Jock's will to gain the rights to drill on Southfork (the family estate/ranchland) for oil.

2. Bought leases to Asian Oil Wells (by mortgaging Southfork behind his parents' back) and not letting the local oil cartel in, then sold them the leases upon learning the wells were about to be nationalized, causing financial ruin for some...one person committed suicide.

3. Financed a revolution to get those same wells back.

4. Bought all of Clayton Farlow's oil and stockpiled it to force his wife Sue Ellen to leave Dusty Farlow and return son John Ross to Southfork to please Jock.

5. Set up Cliff with a phony deal to ruin him and get Sue Ellen back (still to get John Ross back on Southfork). This resulted in Cliff attempting suicide.

6. Blackmailed an official to get an oil variance to set up cut rate gas stations and sold oil to Cuba in order to win Ewing Oil in a year-long battle with brother Bobby.

7. Set up Cliff (again) in an offshore drilling scheme to financially ruin Cliff...it backfired when Cliff struck oil.

8. When oil prices were falling due to Arabs glutting the market, J.R. contracted terrorist for hire B.D. Calhoun to blow up Arab fields to raise the oil prices. This ended up costing the family the company.

9. Worked with greedy Casey Denault to get Ewing assets back from those who bought them when Ewing Oil was disbanded, and schemed to take over rival WestStar..he gained the assets but Sue Ellen stopped him.

From that last point on, J.R. was less in control of things in terms of business each successive season. It seemed as if everyone was truly onto him more and more and easily blocked him. In terms of  personal schemes, he had a number of mistresses that he bedded while married to Sue Ellen, TWICE married to her to be exact. He also waged many a one-up on poor Cliff, including stealing Cliff's girlfriend Mandy, constantly plotted to get Bobby's wife Pamela ("that Barnes woman") out of his life, bullied Sue Ellen relentlessly for the first few seasons, and, in arguably his most chilling scheme, blackmailed a government official who had a secret past as a child molester into letting him see the offshore tracts for auction to set up Cliff. He also bedded a naive country girl then was forced to marry her by her redneck brothers. That was the start of his lack of cunning superiority and growing paranoia.

But wait, there's more!

The second most fascinating character is Sue Ellen. At the start, she is a very proper wife doing all of the wifely duties along with serving on many social committees and acting superior. This of course all a charade to mask her frustration at J.R. not making love to her anymore and therefore not being able to bear a Ewing child. She has a 1 night stand with ranch foreman Ray Krebbs and then a slightly longer affair with Cliff and gets pregnant. Shunned by Cliff eventually and even more so by J.R. , she takes more and more to the bottle and J.R. forces her into a sanitarium where she gives birth to John Ross.

But who was the father? It was J.R.'s after all after several months assuming he was Cliff's. Sue Ellen in the meantime...

1. Found new love in Dusty Farlow before he was thought to be killed in a plane crash

2. Felt new loyalty to J.R. after he was shot, but that lasted only a bit over a month once he bedded Afton Cooper at Lucy's wedding.

3. Reunited with Dusty even though he was crippled and impotent, and took John Ross to the Farlow estate Southern Cross with Pamela's help.

4. Left Dusty and after a controlled (by J.R.s mom Ellie) divorce found her way BACK to J.R...she wasn't quite ready for the single life.

5. After discovering J.R. cheating on her again, she drank again, but got off the bottle not long after, and had an affair with much younger Peter Richards, who was John Ross's camp counselor...even getting pregnant by him but suffered a miscarriage.

6. Reunited with J.R. in bed for a short time before he found Mandy Winger.

7. Drank out of guilt when John Ross was sick (aided by J.R.'s bullying)

8. Got off the bottle and bought Valentine Lingerie at first to embarrass J.R. and mess with Mandy's head, but it turned into a successful business and showed just how much Sue Ellen had grown in confidence. This period (1986-87) marked a permanent change in her. Instead of J.R. getting her goat, the tables were turned.

9. Found new love with investment banker Nicholas Pearce, but he later died after a high balcony struggle with J.R. over a gun.

10. Made a movie about her life with J.R. and used it to blackmail J.R. into never messing with her or hurting John Ross. This was her exit.

I find Sue Ellen so fascinating in those later seasons because she is no longer a woman who was "trained" by her mother into marrying the perfect man...she found independence and happiness...and more importantly self control.

My least favorite character? Lucy Ewing! Always a spoiled brat, she started as a school skipping nympho who regularly bedded Ray Krebbs, had 2 ruined engagements, found out that Ray was her uncle (though nobody mentioned this in season 4, this pretty much beats Luke and Leia's more than sibling level kiss in terms of EWWWWW factor!) She eventually found love and marriage with medical student Mitch Cooper, but her spoiled ways killed that. She was later raped by obsessive modeling photographer Roger and got pregnant and then aborted the baby, found new love with Mickey Trotter before he was paralyzed, then tried for Peter Richards but J.R. had him run out of town. She eventually reunited with Mitch and left, then came back for 2 years with nothing stories and left again. In many ways she was a bigger loser than Cliff.

All right, that is quite enough before I write an entire book, though my next bit is about the cliffhangers!

The Count of Monte Cristo

    Oh shit, you say, Bryan is doing another one of those damn book reviews! Even worse, he's going to compare it to the movie! Haven't we suffered this hell enough?!

   Well, no, you haven't. There is one consolation, though, I will not compare this work of Alexandre Dumas to any of its film interpretations/adaptations, for in this 1,462 page bullet stopper, there is way too much going on for one movie to cover...but I will return to the media aspect later.

   I do need to mention one film adaptation, though, since it was the impetus for me reading the book in the first place. The 2002 film with Jim Caviezel, Guy Pearce, and Richard Harris made the story intriguing enough. The next year I picked up the book, which turned out to be an ABRIDGED version despite its 500+ pages. Sure enough, when I read it, there seemed to be some pieces missing in terms of characters' fates. Therefore I went back to the store to get the full monty, so to speak. After finally finishing the full version last night, I am quite glad I made the purchase and effort, even though I put it down after just under 500 pages 3 years ago.

   The basic sketch of the tale is as follows: young Edmond Dantes, a sailor aboard the Marseilles vessel Pharaeon, has been secretly put in charge of a letter to one of Napoleon Bonaparte's agents by the ill captain LeClere. Upon arrival in Marseilles, the ship's and company's owner Monsieur Morrel is impressed with Edmond's deeds (not knowing of the letter) and makes him captain. The jealous Danglars, another ship officer, who has seen the letter, plots with Edmond's jealous rival for his lover Mercedes, Fernand Mondego to frame Edmond by sending the letter to the deputy procuror de roi (prosecutor for the king) Villefort. Edmond is arrested and interrogated and, after Edmond reveals is naivete for the letter's true meaning (Edmond is quite illiterate) he is about to be set free until he tells of the name of the letter's intended recipient Noirtier. Villefort is visibly agitated but keeps Edmond assured he will be free...and then sends Edmond to the Chateau D'If, a prison intended for the outcasts and embarrassments of Marseilles. There he meets the Abbe (Father) Faria who is imprisoned in a nearby cell and is befriended by him. 

   Faria is a wise and experienced man who teaches Edmond to read as well as mathematics and economics and the ways of the world. It is with Faria that Edmond discovers what the plot against him was truly about and it is here that Edmond becomes bent on revenge if he ever gets out. Faria also informs Edmond of a hidden treasure trove on the island of Monte Cristo, hidden underwater. When Faria dies, Edmond sneaks his body into the body bag which is tossed into the sea. 

   From there, Edmond works on ships and acquires enough money to get to Monte Cristo to find the treasure. Once that is acquired, he embarks on a series of life adventures for several years, establishing a series of various identities and backgrounds and buying slaves to perform as his servants. Once he purchases the title of the Count of Monte Cristo , he begins to set up his revenge plot by getting to know what makes the men who conspired against him tick and use that intelligence against them, which is pretty much what the last thousand or so pages are all about.

The end.

Haha, yeah right! I've been waiting way too long to write this to end it here.

First, let's go back to where the conspirators met. There was Danglars, the conspiracy leader; Fernand, a jealous rival for Mercedes’s affections and love...and a third, a tailor named Gaspard Caderousse. The latter is introduced as a man who is owed money by the Dantes family, specifically Edmond’s father. After the debt is paid (leaving the father a bit strapped), Caderousse is all friendly and benevolent. He is also prone to drink and as he sits and observes the conspirators, he assumes it is a joke. Caderousse appears later to tell Abbe Busoni (one of Edmond’s alter egos), by prompting, of what happened to all Edmond knew in Marseilles. Edmond learns that his father died of starvation while his enemies relocated to Paris. He provides Caderousse with a diamond to make a new life as Caderousse has fallen on hard times. 

Caderousse only goes downhill from there. Trying to get a good price for the diamond, he and his wife act to murder the jeweler they use (the wife dies during this) and Caderousse is imprisoned. He is later a thief and blackmailer, murdered by his blackmail victim Benedetto. I find Caderousse interesting because really he seems to be a born loser and his demand of repayment of a debt at a bad time, along with not standing up for Edmond to the prosecutor when he should have, sends his life from bad to worse. In fact, Edmond, as the Count, declares “1!” upon Caderousse’s death.

Another aspect of the story that is quite fascinating is Edmond creating all of these elaborate disguises and characters for himself: Sinbad the Sailor, Lord Wilmore, and Abbe Busoni. The latter is the most frequent alter ego as it signifies a religious presence in people’s homes as well as a legal influence to let certain prisoners free to begin a new life, Caderousse among them. In one scene, Abbe Busoni passes Danglars and leaves the room, then out comes the Count a moment or two later! Lord Wilmore is used mainly for one act of generosity for Monsieur Morrel, Edmond’s former boss who fell on hard times. In fact, via the riches from Monte Cristo, Morrel is rescued from a certain suicide. It is Edmond’s last act of generosity for some time.

From then on, the Count (he is not Edmond in any way for some time to come) plots how to get to his enemies via spies and observation. After a mysterious 10 years of which we the reader may assume Edmond traveled and experienced the world, he begins his chess-like game of revenge. He engages the Viscount Albert de Morcerf (son of Mercedes and Fernand, now known as the Count de Morcerf) in Rome. After gaining Albert’s trust via acting as a host in his home and various sports and theatrical displays, the Count arranges a kidnapping of Albert by the bandit Luigi Vampa, an acquaintance Edmond made soon after his prison escape. The Count then easily rescues Albert with merely his name. The ruse is effective and Albert invites the Count to Paris. 

Upon arrival, the Count wastes no time in purchasing not one home, but two, as well as gaining intelligence from unsuspecting friends of Albert regarding the Count’s enemies, though everyone views the Count as a wise benefactor and friend, particularly the wives of Villefort and Danglars. The men themselves meet the Count but do not recognize him as the man they tried to destroy over 20 years ago. Fernand, under his new name Count de Morcerf, does not appear much but does not recognize Edmond, either.

The revenge against Mondego/Morcerf involves love for his family. The Count arranges for Morcerf to be publicly humiliated and charged for a crime via testimony from the Count's slave/eventual love Haydee. After this humiliation, first Albert challenges the Count to a duel. The Count at first is ready to kill Albert until Mercedes, who knows the Count is really Edmond, confronts him and begs to spare Albert's life. The Count is quite moved and is prepared to let himself be killed until Albert apologizes, which to the Count is a sign from God. After Albert backs down, Morcerf personally confronts the Count to kill him, but upon his revelation to Morcerf as Edmond, Morcerf is horrified to see his former rival and, upon seeing Mercedes and Albert leave him and his home, commits suicide via pistol.

The Count’s own servant, the Corsican Bertuccio, gives the Count a big piece of Villefort’s shady past. In fact it is Villefort that is eventually given perhaps the most crushing blow in terms of vengeance. Not only does he and Madame Danglars have a son they both thought was lost (due to him burying him after birth thinking the boy was dead anyway), but his wife is poisoning anyone who gets in the way of her bratty boy Edward’s inheritance. Upon discovery, she poisons herself and Edward and both die. This drives Villefort to madness.

An interesting subplot involving the lost son is involved here regarding the revenge against Villefort. The son Benedetto was rescued from burial and later adopted by Bertuccio's (the servant) sister in law. and raised by her and Bertuccio, but he grew to be a criminal anyway. Imprisoned along with Caderousse, both are released with the Count giving Benedetto the new name Andrea Cavalcanti. "Andrea" upon murdering Caderousse to free himself from blackmail, is arrested for the murder. While imprisoned, Bertuccio visits him and tells him of his true parentage.

Danglars receives probably the lightest of the Count's vengeance, perhaps due to the brutal emotional beating Villefort was dealt, yet deserved in terms of punishing greed, and Danglars was greedy and more than a tad corrupt. He did have his problems, though. His wife was having an affair and his daughter has no interest in men...in fact the daughter Eugenie is a more than subtly implied lesbian. Upon his wife and daughter leaving him and him trying to swindle funds that did not belong to him, he like Albert is imprisoned by Luigi Vampa and generally forced into starvation unless he (Danglars) pays exorbitant sums of money to buy paltry amounts of food. When he is down to a mere 50,000 francs, he repents to the Count who forgives him then reveals himself as Edmond Dantes.

Yet Dantes has a soft spot for one family: the Morrels. After his old shipowner boss and friend dies, the Count befriends his children, particularly Maximillian, who is a military hero and having a forbidden romance with Valentine Villefort, daughter of the procuror and his first wife. After the Count saves her from the second wife's attempted poisoning, she and Maximillian are free to be together by the novel's end.

Over the 1,462 pages, there were many instances where I had to "skip ahead a bit" because of the long descriptive paragraphs that did not move the plot along, plus the too-literal French to English translated phrases that were a bore and sounding pseudo-Shakespearean to me.

While no movie could capture this complete tale without being over 4 hours long, The Count of Monte Cristo could easily be made into a streaming miniseries, or even an entire season if every nuance of the book is used. It would almost be soap opera-ish with different characters having unanticipated interactions with other characters you wouldn't imagine having any connection at all.

Northern California Where the Girls Are Warm(er)

    Of my 10 years spent in California, I have to say by far that the eight spent in Northern California were pretty much better than the two in San Diego. I can attribute this to several factors.

    The biggest factor to me really is the scenery. Right from my first visit on Labor Day weekend in 1993, I knew there was something special about Sonoma State University. I believe it was the small-town atmosphere that surrounded it. The urban/suburban sprawl of San Diego had not served me well, I was used to a little town here, a little town there kind of thing in Pennsylvania, so Rohnert Park did it for me. As I was into taking walks, the town had a perfect set-up. It was also bike friendly. Close by was an equal sized and smaller town called Cotati. I liked the feel of that town as well. 8 miles to the north was the bigger burg of Santa Rosa where I would move after graduation. About 30-40 miles to the west was the Pacific Ocean, depending on where you were headed. To the north and east were local highways and byways containing many a winery. I am not too much into wine itself, but there were a few varieties I came to enjoy now and then, especially Gewurtztraminer, a German that became my favorite.

   And then there was San Francisco itself, a convenient big city to explore when there was time...just 48 miles away. It was almost like the convenience of having Philly so close when living in the Reading area, only the drive to and from San Fran/The City/don't call it Frisco was more pleasant. Then there was Oakland, a less pleasant city, but always good for an A's game. Further south was San Jose. I never had much use for that place because it lacked a lot for me besides congested freeways.

   North of Santa Rosa were picturesque valleys, lots of forests, some hilly terrain...and an odd town called Eureka...and 100 miles beyond that, Oregon. Between my buddy Scott and I, we saw it all.

   In 1994, my folks drove me to Sonoma State for my first semester of classes. I had my mullet at that point. I immediately liked my new dorm and most of the people I was living with...hey in an 8-person suite you can't like EVERYONE, but I got into the environment much better than I did in West Virginia. Plus, on day one I met my almost-common-law-marriage buddy Scott Catania. We stayed pretty good friends and roommates for the next 8 years. We are still friends, but distance and individual family lives lessen the communication.

   I met a lot of other people I still maintain contact with via phone or social media at Sonoma State. Many of our dormmates ate together in the Zinfandel dining hall or got together in our little common area outside for talk or games or both. Several drank fairly often and a few did some pot. Scott and I weren't really into that s o often we just drove around in his car at night, listening to rock and maybe grabbing a drink. In the next semester, a few people moved out and we got some new blood. This second semester I definitely felt better adjusted to my newer surroundings and was quite happy to be there.

   In the fall 1995 semester, Scott, our friend Rob, and I moved into the on-campus apartments. The difference between dorm and on-campus apartment was that you got your own food and a kitchen, but no dining hall access. Down the hall from us were our friends Karen and Kimberly from the previous year. We had a 4th roommate in our apartment in the form of a guy suffering from Tourette's. I probably could have been nicer or at least civil to the guy, but I had anger issues regarding my parents' divorce and he lit my fuse more than he should have. All of us shared a nice 2 semesters together. In that second semester in the apartment, we made a camcorder movie, which ended up being fun but I no longer have the tape sad to say.

   In the summer of 1996, Scott and I got an OFF-campus apartment, one we actually had to pay rent for. It was pretty convenient to school via bike or car (on nice days I biked there), and close to Rohnert Park and Cotati stores for convenience sake. Also that summer, I had a job as a painter (or REpainter) of the dorm interiors. That was a cool gig. Rob joined us for the fall as he still had 2 classes to take but by Christmas he was back to southern Cal.

   In May of 1997, Scott and I graduated. It was sort of a sad time as I was closing a chapter of a positive period in life. The next month, we moved to a family(Scott's family that is)owned apartment in Santa Rosa in the Rincon Valley area. I liked that location a lot, but we got an even better gig 8 months later when we moved to another family-owned place close-by for RENT FREE...in exchange for us taking Scott's grandma June wherever she needed to go. As I was more sporadically employed with either temp jobs or substitute teaching during this period, I was the one who more often did this, and it was a pleasure. June and I had already become good friends in all the times Scott and I went to her house to do laundry the past 3 years.

   In early 2000, I went back to Sonoma State for the classes to get a teaching credential and graduated in mid 2001. Once again I met some good people, but most good people tend to be fleeting when the time is up. This was no exception. I did maintain a friendship with my classmate Jacqueline up until I moved to Las Vegas.

   In the realm of social (dating) life, I was still not what many would consider in the stud category and this was evident when trying to get a dating life going in AND out of college. During my bachelor degree-seeking years, I was interested in Kimberly and a frequent classmate named Sarah, but alas no romantic sparks with either (though my friendship with Kimberly has been renewed in recent years when she moved to Las Vegas). Out of college, it took a while but I had an on again/off again relationship with another Sarah, a Chinese girl, for about 2 years, as well as with a girl named Jody for 2 brief spells in 2000 and 2002. The dating waters had definitely gotten warmer, but it wasn't hot until Las Vegas...well at least a more constant SIMMER there!

   Besides going on drives and trips with Scott, I took frequent drives by myself. My favorite drive was a nighttime jaunt to Goat Rock State Beach. On clear nights, you could see tons of stars in the sky...on cool nights that was a personally satisfying feeling. 

   Toward the end of my time in northern California, Scott's grandma June had a bad fall and she had to move to a sort of nursing residence. Scott and I moved into her house to keep an eye on things. That year between graduating from the teaching program and moving to Las Vegas was probably my most restless time, and it was certainly a period of depression. After getting a swift kick in the ass from my own grandma, I proceeded to get on finding teaching jobs and interviews and what not. It was a long frustrating period...one trip even involved a car accident...until I interviewed in Fresno for the Vegas job. Once I got the YOU'RE HIRED packet in the mail, my whole demeanor changed and I had a light at the end of the proverbial tunnel.

   All in all, I could live these 8 years over again in a heartbeat, maybe change one or two things...but then again, life's direction has a purpose, so one must have some faith in the course of nature...or say FUCK IT. One's choice.

Southern California Here I Come...and Long Gone! (California Time Part 1)

    As I drove my new Corolla down Cajon Pass last week, I wondered if I'd reach San Diego alive! It was only Tuesday and things were backing up already! Not that I'd expect any less, the Cajon pass is a mess of cars and trucks either braking down a long decline or trying to race through the maze of vehicles at all times! However, as I continued into Rancho Cucamonga and northern Riverside County past several major freeway interchanges, I was almost frozen with panic as cars weaved irresponsibly without signal through the lanes to get to...wherever...my guess would be the theme compounds in Orange County, since after Corona, the stress level eased considerably, and the drive into San Diego County was relatively stressless.

   It wasn't always this bad, at least traffic-wise.

   In 1992, my parents moved from Reading, Pennsylvania to San Diego, California. I was still in college at the time, pushing somewhat weakly through my classes at West Virginia University. I was definitely a small fish in a big pond then, and was realizing that maybe I'd made a mistake in my college selection. I was about to find out that the small fish feeling was to remain for a bit longer.

   During Spring Break, I took a plane trip to spend time in my future new surroundings. I had never been to San Diego before then, but I'd seen San Francisco, Los Angeles, and Yosemite, so I was excited for something new. When I arrived in the evening, I noticed that the airport was very close to downtown. That downtown twinkled pleasantly at night and made me feel welcome.

   At that point, my parents had not yet moved to the house on Carmel Ridge Road, they were renting an apartment on El Cajon Blvd near the La Mesa city limit. I was really glad to see our old Scottish terrier Mac waiting for us, though he had to have a muzzle in the apartment while we were gone. During that week, we went to see a show at the Improv with my Aunt Terry, saw the new house, drove all around the area, and saw a movie or two. My dad was working on the regular days, so my mom and I hung out most of that time, though we were all together for dinners. 

   My initial impression of San Diego was positive for the most part, and since I wasn't really enjoying college life (and my GPA reflected that more or less), I opened my mind to it. My one big sadness was not seeing any of my old buddies in Pennsylvania anymore. Apart from my aunt, cousin, and parents, I had nobody else in San Diego...at least not yet.

   In early May, I took off permanently for San Diego. My dad picked me up at the airport, and my mom had my favorite dinner (chicken, mashed potatoes, corn, and cranberry sauce) ready at the new house. All my stuff was set up in my new room. The only thing I had to do was adjust. That weekend we went out to celebrate Mother's Day at a nice restaurant, and in that month, my dad and I enjoyed the final Johnny Carson show together. Well, that was May.

   The summer was spent somewhat well, with my mom and I taking extension courses at UCSD...she went for paralegal and I went for screenwriting. Nothing ever came of either, but I did get to practice a new craft and it got me writing a bit more. Apart from that, I had no wheels, so my mom or dad had to cart me around. It wasn't all that fun and mostly I was staying up late and sleeping in late.

   In the fall I took some really dis-spiriting jobs as a vacuum salesperson, product demonstrater at Price Club (later Costco), and advertising flyer deliverer in Rancho Bernardo. The vacuum gig, failed as it was, got me more oriented with the San Diego area, but that was about it. My cousin giving me her old Nintendo didn't really help me much. In fact, it isolated me more and it wasn't healthy.

   My Aunt Terry had gotten married (or rather remarried) to a nice Finnish guy and he and I got along great. In fact, I'd say Pekkah Taipale was probably the best friend I made in my time in San Diego. With him in town were his two sisters, a brother in law, and some other remote family members we got to know. 

   In early 1993, my mom finally found employment at a college library and my sister got married up in Ridgecrest where she was stationed in the Navy. Apart from another extension course (in Spanish) and a short term job putting together a dollar store that lasted a couple weeks, I wasn't making much social progress...or financial or anything else.

   Then came May and I had established residency...that meant getting me back to school! A new era had begun. I didn't really make permanent alliances while at Miramar College, but I was focused for the first time in a while, and I did meet some good classmates in all the semesters I was there (4 semesters total). College also meant being around females more often. That was definitely healthy!

   On school days, I would drive to campus listening to The Doors, attend a class or two, maybe head home for lunch and a nap, then go back for more. I also found a really good Chinese place for lunch in that time...the Quik Wok. It was there that I found a scrumptious garlic chicken dish that was to become my staple for a year.

   Besides a tour of college campuses in northern California and a soul-refreshing visit to Pennsylvania for New Year's, school was dominant focus and as I had chosen Sonoma State, my pursuit of good to great grades increased.  In the summer 1994 semester, I even made the dean's list!

   I seem to deviate from the San Diego topic here, but aside from school in that second year, I didn't really see much aside from our house where I did school work, wrote a bit here and there, and ate and slept, and the Miramar College campus, I didn't have much else...until I found the beach!

   It does sound strange that it took me nearly 2 years to find the jewel that San Diego really was! I don't even remember how it happened or exactly when, but one day I drove around and came upon a parking lot for Torrey Pines State Beach. It was free, so I parked, walked all the way up to Del Mar, then back. The next time, I did the same but had a beer or 2 at a local pub, then walked back. Aside form Quik Wok, I had a new pastime. Actually, I came to the beach more than I was downing garlic chicken after a while. 

   As Sonoma State approached, I did the beach a lot more. I hadn't made any permanent alliances at school, though I was sort of becoming a groupie/friend of sorts with a local metal band (one of its members was a classmate). Female pursuits hadn't really materialized, and when you're 21 and living with parents and unemployed, there's not much of a draw.

   My departure for Sonoma State pretty much ended my 2 year experience in San Diego. I did go back for holidays and visits and still do occasionally. In those ensuing years, my parents divorced and found new loves and eventual marriages...and my mom lost her second husband. 

   Our most recent visit was brief due to budget, but we stayed in Encinitas and did some beach time while visiting with my dad and stepmom in La Jolla for a few hours. I loved the time actually there, but not the travel. The new generation of drivers scares the shit out of me.

   My overall opinion of San Diego itself is positive. It's a beautiful area geographically and it has several microclimates. If you want beach, there's plenty of that. If you want mountains, visit Julian sometime and enjoy some apple pie and coffee while there. If you want desert without casinos, check out Borrego Springs. Inland San Diego where we lived is mostly residential with the necessary retail accommodations, with towns like Lemon Grove, El Cajon, La Mesa, Poway, Santee, and Escondido. My sister and her first husband lived in Escondido for a short time with their first child, and North County Fair was a half decent mall. 

   In terms of traffic, it wasn't bad 30 years ago, but since then, I 5 and I 15 are hell in a handbasket!

   As to my personal memories, they are of loneliness and depression in those 2 years, though less so in year two. Having a variety of connections is key.

Las Vegas: The Land of New Beginnings...Over and Over!

    In the summer of 1988, our family was on a southern California vacation, and my dad decided to take us to Las Vegas in the middle of it. What I remember of that desert drive is the lonely long stretches on Interstate 15 after we left the Victorville area. There were Barstow, Yermo, and Baker of course, but in between were vast stretches of gold and brown loneliness. Las Vegas, of course, was a true desert jewel! Lots of dazzling lights, not many skyscrapers then, many restaurants, and the promise of entertainment at every facility. There were NO promises of riches, only fun and food...which a 15 year old like me enjoyed, even if it was just at the Sahara Hotel pool. One place I remember looking for was the Riviera Hotel as the final season of The Hollywood Squares (1980-81) had been produced there(that's where my mind was then, TV land and roads!).

   We didn't stay long. The next day, we took a drive to Hoover Dam so my dad could see all the engineering marvel of it. I wasn't all that interested in that part, though the view from the bottom was pretty neat.  After the tour, we headed back to the the megalopolis that was Los Angeles.

   Who knew or could have even guessed that I would be living there in 14 years?

   Before Las Vegas, I had been living in Sonoma County, California, mostly in Santa Rosa, for 8 years. When I learned that the Clark County School District had hired me, I was thrilled, but also had a LOT of preparing to do, mostly mental preparation....getting ready to live in a new place in a new town alone was going to take some doing. I was 29 and hadn't really lived alone at that point. My somewhat strange psych-up was watching the 2001 remake of Ocean's 11 many many times. CSI didn't really excite me for the move as well, but there were fun stories on it. 

   In July of 2002, my mom and I traveled to Las Vegas to see my new workplace, Tom Williams Elementary School, and got myself an apartment near Nellis AFB, which wasn't too far from the school at all. It was a hot, humid July weekend, and we had driven in on a stormy Friday night. We stayed at Circus Circus, a pretty decent place actually, for 2 nights. My overall impression was...undecided. I got living quarters taken care of for sure, but a weekend in Vegas with my mom didn't give a reality hint at all...but that was soon to come.

   Three weeks later, my dad and I arrived at the Nellis Oasis Apartments in the early afternoon of August 2, 2002. We had left Santa Rosa at about 2:30 a.m. and were already zonked from the 11 hour drive. After some time in a nice air-conditioned office signing papers and giving the Oasis people money, we spent a hot few hours unloading my car and his rental truck.

   Unlike the trip with my mom, I had a much different feeling about this one. This was permanent. I had said farewell to my just-one-year-short-of-a-common-law-marriage roommate Scott the previous night. All my stuff was packed up. Apart from Scott, I hadn't really made any firm connections in Sonoma County. temp jobs and substitute teaching made daily money but were lonely jobs in nature. Dating had been pretty slim and unfulfilling, too. 

   After we finished unpacking, my dad and I went in search of some good food and perhaps a beer. Las Vegas Boulevard in North Las Vegas did not have attractive selections, most looked seedy or just plain fast food. We went further down and finally saw an attractive sign: Tony Roma's at the Stardust! We were there, dude! A couple beers and some ribs and we were ourselves again. Back at my new apartment, Dad just sacked out on the floor as I slept in my bed. The next morning he was up before dawn, wrote me a check to get some basic supplies, and he was gone. I never saw or heard him go.

   I think that's important to note because when I did wake up, I was truly on my own for the first time in my life! It was an exciting feeling...a scary one at that! It was just me and my stuff and there was some organizing to do for sure, but the first order of business was breakfast and a plan for the day.

   After filling up at a nearby Chevron for $1.43 (yay 2002 prices!) I asked the clerk for a tip on good breakfast. He recommended the Blueberry Hill on Las Vegas Blvd. across form the base. I went there, loved it, and ended up eating there every Saturday for the next 4 years. After that, I found the Wal Mart close by and did a little stocking up of food and cleaning supplies. That Nellis Wal Mart would be a main store for me for the next few years. Sadly it closed a few years after moving to a new neighborhood. The crime had gotten pretty bad around there.

   The rest of that day was spent organizing the living room and dining room areas, mostly my videos. It was all VHS at that point, I had not yet acquired a DVD player at that point. The next day, I wanted to explore a bit more. A movie sounded good. After looking at the newspaper listings, I decided on Austin Powers:Goldmember, playing at the Regal Theatres at Texas Station. In Vegas terms (as I would soon learn), it wasn't that far away.  

   Texas Station itself would be a main movie venue for me in the years to come. They had a good food court, the theatre itself was pretty big, I occasionally enjoyed some slot play, and there was a good basement level bowling alley. The buffet also was enjoyable. Overall, there was a basic hominess, aside from the constant cigarette smoke, in the place. Until COVID hit, it was a pretty regular place for me and Vickie.

   As time went on, I saw many changes to the Strip. The Riviera, Sahara, and Stardust all eventually went away, as did the "family-friendly" theme that Vegas was dabbling with before I arrived. Seriously, when people on the main drag are giving out hooker flyers near a family-themed venue, the reality sets in, and the fantasy fades away in a blink.

  As I got comfy in my new workplace, I continued to explore my new city and the surrounding desert. I took a drive one weekend around the Lake Mead area, winding up at Logandale and Overton before meeting I 15 and heading back. Another day I went to Mt Charleston and had a drink and snack at the Lodge, which would become a regular destination to get relief from the summer heat as well as an eventual Christmas Eve mecca for me and Vickie. Sadly the lodge burned down last year...that sadness remains with me to this day and I remain hopeful for a new place to premiere before I die.

   I also took a drive to Pahrump one day. I had heard about it from a few people. Pahrump is in neighboring Nye County, and has been known as a legal brothel town. Of course, as time has passed, more families have moved there for more economical living conditions and the brothel life has taken more of a back seat, though they still do exist. I wasn't particularly impressed by the town, but state highway 160 had some scenery as it looped back to U.S. 95 30 miles to the northwest.

   On Friday nights when I was unaccompanied (which were several in the early months), I would sometimes go to the Red Lobster on Decatur, enjoy a meal at the bar, then maybe cruise to the Stratosphere and ride to the top to enjoy Vegas from high up.

   One of my favorite nerdy activities was going to Best Buy at Best of the West on Lake Mead and stocking up on music, movies, and TV show full series on DVD...once I bought the DVD player, I went disc-wild! Probably a bit too much at times, but that's where I was in life.

   In the course of three years, I had many dates though most were one-shots. There were some regulars, some semi-regulars, but I didn't find happiness until I found Vickie in early 2006. At 5'5 and somewhat round in the middle, I was not Captain Stud and did not get to enjoy the empty high-life of constant 1-night stands, clubbing, and buying expensive meals and drinks in hopes of achieving those brief carnal experiences. Somehow, though, I think being me helped to avoid trouble and disease.

   As with any new experience and location, like a penny, time does a lot to dull the shine. New casino hotels replaced the old, new ugly residence towers shot up quickly, and although the Las Vegas Strip is a beautiful gem in the night, in the daytime it is an ugly-looking city. Now, I say that as a RESIDENT WHO DOES NOT LIVE ON THE STRIP! Most residents live nowhere NEAR the Strip, in fact. Most of us live in residential neighborhoods consisting of houses or apartment complexes, with local retail venues supplying our daily needs. Yet on the Strip, especially on weekends (though weekdays are getting just as bad), people come from all over, mostly southern California, on Fridays, get in all their jollies at night, sleep hung over in the daytime, and resume their vampire status later in the day, then go home on either Sunday or Monday if they called in sick. I learned early on to NEVER go to visit my California family on a Sunday, I-15 doesn't handle it well.

   Despite the healthy distance from The Strip, The Strip itself dominates the landscape from almost all angles, almost a reminder of why we as residents get to enjoy BEING residents in the first place.

   As for teaching, I will begin my 21st year in the CCSD soon. I am at my third and favorite school and still enjoy what I do...I just don't always enjoy who I do it for and I don't mean the kids.

   It is not a city for everyone. Early in my teaching career, my school district would hire a few thousand new teachers every year...and often within months, those new hires would run away for their own reasons. Sometimes they realized who they were working for and escaped with their souls, but I suspect most left because Las Vegas is not a place that supports weak constitutions. If you want your green lawn and well-landscaped parks, it's not for you. If you like only occasionally hot summer days, then Vegas is definitely not for you! All that said, I have met many a Las Vegas native and they couldn't live anywhere else, it is home to them. They have a particular angle on Vegas living, and like newbie residents they know where to go to get what they need and want. 

   Las Vegas, like other cities, is what you make of it for yourself. While many are gambling or enjoying the Forum Shops at Caesar's Palace, there are many also getting hardware at Home Depot or Lowe's, or eating at their favorite fast food joint, or bowling, or eating, or just stating home to enjoy the AC. I have been here for 20 years now, and while I can happily say I am a 4-year homeowner, I cannot see myself living here at 70 years old. The water emergency is real, and idiots keep building more and more and don't see the big picture. I see more new beginnings for me down the road, but for the time being, I remain.

   Happy 20 years to me living here!

Once Upon A Western Dreary

    I don't know about you, but I have always had a fascination for the westerns in cinema. They have taken many forms over several decades, but didn't really stray from a certain formula until the 1960s.

   Some basic plots of a western:

a) cowboys vs "Indians", a plot device that has thankfully been disposed of decades ago due to the oversimplification of the hero cowboys and the sometimes good, sometimes "evil" "Indians".

b) evil bandits/hired thugs threaten the sheriff or marshall to get out of town, leading up to a showdown

c) a wagon train encounters troubles on its journey west for a new life

   Lots of combinations of these basic ideas were used over and over between the 1920s and the 1950s, some employing the use of singing cowboys in the form of Gene Autry, who found later success singing about reindeer, and Roy Rogers. In fact the basic formulas worked well in the beginning as they were cheap to produce and theaters were cheap to get into during the Depression and World War 2. Along with the wacky antics of the 3 Stooges, Marx Brothers, and Laurel &Hardy, westerns served to cheer up an otherwise worried and depressed nation.

   When television was turning into a real thing that was here to stay, western TV shows such as "Gunsmoke" and "The Lone Ranger" jumped from radio to the small screen along with countless others and were a major staple of 1950s television. 

   I will say this for "Gunsmoke": it grayed the lines between the good guys and the bad guys fairly often as the show approached its last years. "Bonanza" did that occasionally, but not as successfully.

   Here's the thing, though. Westerns were put out for pure ENTERTAINMENT. They weren't meant to be a moral lesson. You watched the good guys shoot the bad guys with no real special effects blood spewing out, and you couldn't wait to catch the next movie where the same actors playing villains would get shot again. Nobody took those movies or early TV shows seriously.

   I am still amused by a later Brady Bunch episode where Bobby idolizes Jesse James. It amuses me because he's old enough to have a clue if he did any real reading, and as there was no social media or even internet to conveniently skew facts a la Alex Jones, the episode is ludicrous...but then the whole series is really if one watches it on MeTV on the weekends. But I digress...

   Let's come to the mid 1960s where an Italian filmmaker named Sergio Leone decided to take this oversimplified good guy vs bad guy genre and give it a rotini twist. He created a character generally known as 'the man with no name', played by Clint Eastwood, one of 3 American actors Leone used for a classic trilogy of films: A Fistful of Dollars, For a Few Dollars More, and The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly. Eastwood's character was not so much a hero, but rather the classic definition of an anti-hero: a character you know is the protagonist, but can be brutal, opportunistic, and plain old selfish...a far cry from your typical John Wayne flick. Leone made another western later called Once Upon a Time in the West in 1968, a movie featuring more American actors. I just caught this one today and found myself laughing whenever Jason Robards spoke since he was the best character, much like Tuco in Good/Bad/Ugly. Henry Fonda played the villain while Charles Bronson played a quiet hero (in other words, Bronson playing Bronson).

   Clint Eastwood would go on to not only star in but also direct other movies which included westerns. He continued in the rotini twist of the classic formula often, most notably in High Plains Drifter (1973) and The Outlaw Josey Wales (1976). In Drifter, he is a vengeful spirit who is sometimes hard to like but then so are the townfolk who betrayed his former human self, so there is a balance. In Wales, one gets a rare favorable view of the Confederacy and the cruelty of the Union in post-Civil War America.

   Sam Peckinpah really put on the violent edge on the western genre with his films, particularly The Wild Bunch and Pat Garrett & Billy the Kid. The lines of good and bad really blur in the latter. In fact, there is that sense in more modern crime films, not just westerns, that one does not necessarily want to know all that the side of justice does to nail or destroy the evil-doers in the world, and that line between right and wrong gets more and more blurred with each new take. 

   And with each new take we see more blood and gratuitous violence because, well, in many ways that's how things really happened. The west was a violent place for a long time with fights for land, power, and money...often all three. If we keep burying our heads in the sand a pretend it was all for the good of the nation, we haven't learned much about human nature in the past almost 200 years, and are likely doomed to  dreary rehashings of violent history over and over.

Blast to My Past

    I've had it. I can't take it anymore. Once and for all, I am going to leave this ghastly place leaving others to fend for themselves in this modern hell!

   What? No! I am not going to take my own life. Rather, I will take my life out of 2022 and go back to another time, a time where I could relate to what was happening. That's right, I am going to back to my birth year of 1972! 

    I just have to work out the details of getting there. I don't have a plutonium-powered DeLorean or a spaceship that can slingshot around the sun. If anyone has access to an inter-dimensional wormhole, text me.

   That little technicality aside, let's answer the big WHY aspect of this. The HOW is already unlikely enough, so I might as well go into my reasons and philosophy.

   Basically, the world is fucked right now, most of all America. I am 49 years old and have seen a gradual downfall of morals, politics, and media...sadly they feed on each other constantly and have grown into a satanic blob pitting the citizens against each other, even family members, over little things that should be laughed off.

   However, people aren't laughing anymore, not like they used to. Everyone takes everything so damn seriously now. It has become so angry and hostile...and violent.

   The pandemic alone has altered or destroyed so many lives. I didn't escape unscathed. Two years of wearing masks did a number on me and I am still recovering. Others died, went crazy, The sadness of it was that COVID became a political and social weapon, not a medical issue.

   Now let's go to politics. In my life I have seen several U.S. Presidents, almost all of them middle aged to old white guys, which was the norm for most of U.S. history with a few exceptions. Then a Black guy was elected...twice! After his time was done, we as a nation put in another entertainer of sorts. We already enjoyed one in Reagan, so why not another? This time we installed a combo of Don Rickles and Morton Downey Jr in terms of subtlety. This in itself wasn't the bad part, for we tried to convince ourselves that a non-political entity in there would help shake things up. Oh, Mr. Trump shook them all right! He shook them to the point of being impeached twice and trying illegally to hold onto his oval office. And people want him back. 

   Russia was once our enemy...now we have "leaders" who glorify and defend the actions of a former KGB agent, current president.

   On the flip side of the political coin, there is such a large movement on many sides trying to control what people can watch on TV and what people can and cannot say. That to me defies core principles in our Constitution. 

   That's politics...let's go to the media. I used to trust the news. People came on the air, told you the happenings, and left you to ponder the importance of it all in regard to you, your family and friends, and society in general. Now there are a bunch of assholes on several stations that TELL you WHAT may or may not be true, tell you WHAT to think of it all, and TELL you WHO is to blame. On top of that, there is social media online where ordinary citizens post a lot of bullshit "news" and personal views...I've seen friendships and family relations dissolve on social media over the past 6 or 7 years.

   And now let's go to the morals. I'm not sure where they went for many people. I have gone to church many times in my life and felt a personal relationship with God form and develop. I enjoy this relationship to this day, and have a good idea when I have strayed and needed to get back on the right track. I am not seeing a lot of that these days. I see churches get over-involved with politics, even going to the point of saying if you don't believe in our President, you don't believe in God.  I have read about church leaders committing sexual atrocities on children that would get most people sent to prison...many of these people just get sent to a different town like they were in Witness Protection! We have political "leaders" (as opposed to modest servants of the People) do the bidding of rich fuckers so they can stay in office and continue "representing" the People. This is why medical care is so expensive, why education suffers, why homes cost so much. 

   As for myself, I have tried to be the best family man I can, be the best teacher I can me, and be the best me that I can muster...on my current track, I do not see things improving. I will always be carrying burdensome debt, always dealing with some crisis, always wondering when things will get better.

   I am tired of wondering. Tired of dealing. Tired of carrying. Tired of watching the world burn.

   But why 1972?

   Simply, it seems to be a year of good music, better vibes, a clearer idea of what was right and wrong. 

   There certainly was no Internet. If you wanted to find something out, you had to do some actual research by going to a library and looking it up...or look in an encyclopedia. By doing this you found information without getting a free opinion.

   People were outside more. Play structures in parks were more fun for kids. 

   In 1972 if you went to a store in your pajamas, they'd likely kick you out.

   TV didn't have disclaimers for their shows...you watched or you didn't. Most markets had only a few channels, no massive cable packages with a lot of useless channels and shows. Most stations were off the air late at night. No 24/7 outlets. Some radio stations were like this as well.

   As there were no online distractions, families spent more time together (for better or for worse) talking or playing games.

   Schools had a curriculum to teach, not standards...school lunches were made at school, not prepackaged.

   Our enemy was communism and the USSR. Simple.

   Was it perfect? Absolutely not. Vietnam was still a bone of contention. Watergate was about to put trust of the government to the test. People still had problems. Different ones for many.

   Still, I could go back with a decent sum of money and live out my remaining days. I could then see what happened with a more mature pair of eyes and not glorify those events.

   I'd just have to watch out for who I bump into. A small price.

   I can dream, can't I? Dreams are what make things possible...and more acceptable.

The Thrilling Days of Yestercable

    If you're like me (and the Geneva Convention strictly prohibits such sins!) and grew up in the last quarter of the 20th Century (which Millenials are trying to outlaw), you are probably aware of the great technological accomplishments of that era, particularly in the realm of chia pets!

   And how did we learn about the chia pet? I mean, aside from the person down the street conned into buying one the same way some schnook gets a My Pillow now, That's right, it was good old cable TV! Cable is, or rather USED TO BE, a marvelous invention with a very important aim...to make us grateful for more Diff'rent Strokes seasons after being subjected to the horrors of local access shows!

    No, don't be ridiculous, that show was useless right after the Bicycle Man 2-parter starring Mr. Carlson. Seriously, the original purpose of cable was to bring TV signals to homes in rural areas or at least semi-rural areas.

   Of course, many didn't want to pay for cable and instead opted for a huge aerial outside their house and connected to the TV.  When I was really little and we lived in Michigan, we had one that easily got the Detroit stations whose transmitters were only 20 miles away. However, when we moved to Pennsylvania in 1976, we lived in an area where any station was at least 35 or more miles away. In fact, we had 2 choices: aim the aerial to the west and get the Susquehanna Valley stations or aim to the southeast and get the Philadelphia stations...my dad chose the Philly suite, probably the better choice. Most of the stations came in well except for one of the independents.

   A few years later, we moved to Wilmington, North Carolina. NOW it was time to get cable as there were only 3 stations in town: ABC, NBC, and PBS. I distinctly remember when the cable truck pulled up in late June of 1979...it was plastered on both sides with an advertisement for WTCG Channel 17 in Atlanta...it was named a Superstation. At 6 years old I wondered what that even meant. Well, it turned out to be one of 2 independent sitcom/cartoon stations we'd get. Our CBS came out of Durham, and we got a couple other networks from other eastern NC towns. At one point, someone hooked up a wire to the TV and got us an illegal (I assume) connection to HBO. That was pretty cool! I remember seeing Grease for the first time there.

    Well, the South was a fairly short experience, lasting only 16 months. We ended up moving back to PA in the fall of 1980, and THIS time we got cable. All Philly stations came in along with a few Susquehanna Valley stations and a couple up in the Scranton and Allentown areas. A couple of years later, our service, Berkscable, got a new station called USA! It was its own network, airing a lot of older shows, including my beloved The Edge of Night starting in late 1985! I also caught the old Dragnet on this channel.  Also in 1983 we got a decoder box in order to have a local HBO-type station called PRISM which aired movies, sports and, late weekend nights, soft-core porn...or so I heard wink wink! Yeah ok...teenager me turning that opportunity down? Let's move on.

   In 1986, Berkscable got a MAJOR revamping: cable boxes! Suddenly we had 60 channels instead of just 12...of course we didn't watch all of them. Still, we not only had USA, we had ESPN, Nickelodeon, A&E, BET, MTV, VH1, Discovery, HSN, CNN, Weather Channel, Cinemax, TNN, and a few other channels to sort through. A year later we also got WTBS (previously WTCG) which was later just TBS, and even later TNT.

   Later in the 90s we got some other channels like Cartoon Network, Science Fiction (later just lazily Syfy), FX, Game Show Network (later lazily just GSN) and TV Land. I liked TV Land for a while because they aired a lot of classic shows and some classic commercials. By the mid 2000s it had gained too many ads and cut their shows more. As Cartoon Network began airing more original shows, it spawned its own offshoot Boomerang which eventually became like its mother.

   On top of all this were various incarnations of HBO, Cinemax, Movie Channel, Showtime, Starz, and Encore...most of which required an added subscription. Then there were tons of shopping channels as well. Long ads called infomercials replaced the test patterns on broadcast stations. Pretty soon, a lot of cable channels began running long marathons of the same damn show, inspiring the current trend of streaming show binge-watching.

   And with the growing number of cable channels out there, cable package prices got astronomically ridiculous, even just for basic, due to all the licensing fees either the channel or cable provider charged each other. It wasn't that way back in the good ol 20th century, even early 21st. We had Cox for quite some time, then when DirecTV made a deal with AT&T, we switched. It was ok for a time, but then in 2019, DirecTV couldn't reach an agreement with the company that owned our CBS station. That pretty much cut it for me. In the fall we dropped DirecTV (but not without a hefty early termination penalty that we recently finished off) and just used an antenna for regular channels plus their digital offshoots which carry any combination of classics depending on the day's signal strength. Plus a friend gave us one of her spare Fire Sticks, so we also stream with some selected services.

   What I have noticed, however, is the new tricky nature of streaming services, charging rental fees instead of just making all their shows and movies free...Amazon is guilty of this! Plus, other smaller streaming companies offer their own bundles of channels once attainable only through cable. Translation: they saw cable dropping in popularity and needed to find a way to make money.

   All in all, I miss the old days...don't we all? Progress is not always good. In fact, progress in terms of TV viewing has created a system, an ENABLING system if you will, of making us feel ok to just sit and veg on a show all damn day, whereas when I was more youthful, I knew what was on and when, and did other things during those times. If I sit for a binge-watch now, I fall asleep around episode 2! None of the shows are what I'd label RIVETING.

They don't even try to sell me a chia pet!

From the Raven to the Dove

    Recently I read a good book. 

   I know I know, you're saying ANOTHER DAMN BOOK REVIEW?! DON'T YOU KNOW WE HATE THESE AND WANT YOU TO WRITE FUNNY SHIT TO MAKE US GIGGLE?!

   Yeah yeah, I'll write jokes later, I'll smash a damn watermelon, put a prop arrow in my head, whatever you want. For the time being, though, I need to talk about something...

   Or rather someone.

   About 36 years ago, I was channel surfing when upon me came a show on USA that I'd seen once or twice before in daytime called The Edge of Night. I hadn't caught the plot or characters before that, I just liked the music theme. Come to early 1986, I finally sit to catch the actual show. It was an array of some really interesting, off-the-wall characters, from psychotic killers to fraudulent actors to obsessed cops...and at the center of a lot of these stories and dialogues was what could be described as an anti-heroine, someone who people rooted for but wasn't necessarily good. 

   Her name was Raven Whitney...actually I would later come to learn she was Raven Alexander Jamison Swift Whitney. She was played by a quite gorgeous woman named Sharon Gabet. I must admit, at 13 I was quite smitten with her just as much as any girl I liked in junior high.

   When the Edge run ended on USA in early 1989, I was quite bummed, though I knew she was on another soap at that point, just not a front-of-the-line role. For the next ten years, all I had was the scant videotapes of whatever I'd recorded. Then in 1999, I found an Edge web page from which I found some people who had more than I had on tape! I bought a few tapes and that kept me going for some time. Then AOL video aired episodes earlier than the USA run and I got an earlier and quite nastier Raven!

   Even later I found a group on Facebook devoted to Edge as well as another person who sold episodes on disc! Admittedly I spent over $300 on these but this show was important to me and I got to relive what I saw decades before, plus stuff I hadn't seen because I caught it months after the run began. Most importantly, in the group was none other than Sharon Gabet herself! She shared much with us about the show, as well as the fact that she had written a book called From the Raven to the Dove (yeah I know, talk about your long preliminaries, Bryan!). It was more about her spiritual and emotional journey as an adult than about her days as a soap star. She was also good enough to answer questions from me in IM personally. You have no idea what that meant to me after all those years.

   It took me a while, but I finally decided I wanted to get this book and read what Sharon had to say, so I asked for it for Christmas. Thankfully my sister-in-law got a copy for me. When I opened the present, I was beyond ecstatic!

   Truly, I felt a surge of energy holding this book before I opened it up. It was like I held a certain expectation of what I would read, even though I truly knew Sharon is just a human being like the rest of us. Then I flipped past the opening title page and what not and got to the actual text.

   What I received through reading this book over the course of a few weeks was an incredible journey, a tale of someone who grew up in a seemingly idyllic 1950s environment. I must admit that as a child of the 70s and early 80s, I shared some of the same memories...mostly the outdoor life, exploration, options of places to go in a time before the virtual world consumed us. Millenials would not likely understand this life, it is so foreign.

    Yet, that was just the opening.

    The ensuing chapters are about her growth and experience as a model, then a nurse in New York City...and a nasty perspective of an abortion clinic in New York City in the mid 1970s...not a pretty scene. 

    Then there is the acting part of her life that would go for over a decade of thrills, excitement, and a sad number of downs that came toward the end. How Sharon describes it is more than what some might consider a midlife crisis, but more about a person looking around herself and wondering suddenly who she is. She is frustrated, angry, and in despair...almost like the acting had gone on for much longer than her years on TV.

    What really got to me in the "meat" of the book was how she saw herself in terms of her relationships with men...as well as with her children. What she was looking for, or what she thought she needed to look for, tended not to pan out in the long run. Anyone can see someone going through a divorce, maybe two divorces,  and say, "Well, they didn't try hard enough to make it work." Sharon goes to great depths to show that we do not always know what our souls truly need or want. Society has a great, almost EVIL, role in telling us what we should do in our relationships, what roles we are destined to play...especially for females. Yet the same goes for men, the sense of tough dominance and authority they need to exhibit in order to fit the role, to be accepted. 

   I have to confess that my vocabulary in terms of spiritual journeys, so-called "mythical" creatures and ideas are many times lost on me as I read Sharon's words...the words "skip a bit, brother" from Monty Python and the Holy Grail hit my brain a few times when it got too deep vocabulary-wise. Yet, those were small parts that just enhanced Sharon's overall message which was always understood at the end of each chapter.

   And then when she talks about her children, I can see the love, the deep connection...and the frustrations that accompany. Sharon has a daughter who is autistic, and her journey from discovering that quality to exploring ways to cope and communicate with her, show that Sharon Rose Gabet is not your average suburban single mom who merely gets her child diagnosed and fights with the school over the IEP for years...no she went BEYOND that and found people and experience to help make connections. There is a part near the end when her daughter says "NO" and means it...I won't tell the story of that, but it showed that those people and experiences had borne fruit.

   Possibly one of the deepest themes (maybe THE DEEPEST)Sharon explores, maybe deeper than relationship dynamics and expectations, is the relationship with God that she has explored...often referring to God as Creator, an accurate name and perhaps more appropriate as a descriptor. It is a deep topic explored throughout the book, from her Catholic upbringing to examining the social norms and expectations of believing and what believing truly means when one digs deep into their soul about their true relationship with "the man upstairs". I related to this theme as I have taken a smaller mental journey of my relationship with God and have come to understand what I see it to be...and have felt it to me more rewarding inside.

   Toward the end, Sharon shares her online and phone reunion and some times with her Edge love Larkin Malloy. We as fans were devastated when he left us over 5 years ago, but her take was especially emotional given their past time together. You can feel the love between them onscreen even though they never got together in real life. One understands that sometimes things are meant...and not meant to be. Our inner energy does not always match with others the way we WANT them to. Yet what they had in their way was more real than probably most marriages I have seen onscreen and real life.

   All I can really say to end this review is that it all started with being a fan...and I still am. I can watch the adventures of Raven and Sky on The Edge of Night over and over on disc and Youtube and never get tired of it. Yet, by the end of the book, I feel empowered to dig even more deeply into myself to unravel a few knots and see where I end up. It could be scary, it could be exhilarating...possibly both simultaneously. 

   Thank you, Sharon, for giving me probably one of the most meaningful reads I have ever experienced.