Relationships

   This is a piece I have wanted to tackle for a while, and did not quite know how to go about it. No, I'm not doing a pathetic why oh why am I where I am now and how did I get here. It's just a look back because it's a sunny Sunday in March, quite pleasant, and it gets the creative juices flowing.

   I have been in 1 relationship for 11 years and a month and 7 days now. This was the woman I knew from the first day that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, the vibes were that instant. It took quite a long time to find Vickie, an arduous journey of heartache, headaches and despair, and that was just the morning before our first date started!

   No, seriously, the relationship cycle was a rollercoaster for years. I've met a lot of women, some of whom I've spent a good deal of time with, some whom I saw once and never saw again, to a varying degree of relief and sadness. In fact, I don't think I could write this without 11 years of happy marriage under my belt so I can fully look at the past objectively and with fondness, not angst, animosity, or regret. I regret nothing, it was all meant to be....or not to be.

   To begin, I should make it clear that I was basically a virginal geek for quite a long time, even through college. It was a mixture of awkwardness and self-doubt that kept me out of the sexual and relationship arena for the years it would have been fun. The way I look at it is this: given the right opportunity HANDED TO ME ON A SILVER PLATTER, I would have been stupid enough to mess it up and/or gotten a venereal disease due to no condom because I would have been THAT GRATEFUL to get laid. Like I say, things happen for a reason. So let me go all the way back to childhood, say, third grade.

   Yes, I was liking girls a lot early on, but my geekiness made me a laughing stock or just a general creep....I did a lot of staring in admiration and wonderment.

Lisa A- In third and fourth grade I thought her to be the prettiest girl in class. She thought me to be a creepy nerd. Luckily we grew to be friendlier acquaintances in junior high and high school.

Karen W-I liked her in 5th grade and never stopped liking her in junior high. I just had nothing going for me in those years. Hardly saw her in high school, but it's a big place.

Donna M- Cute girl in 6th grade, stayed cute all through graduation, just too sophisticated or pseudo sophisticated for the likes of me.

Robyn S- I thought she was the hottest number in 8th grade. Sitting next to her in science was the highlight of my day that year.

Mary P.- Quite a beautiful Greek-blooded girl. She was my 9th grade focus.

Tracey G.- Actually Tracey and I were just friends, but we talked regularly on the phone for a while. It was nice to talk to a female who didn't get me tongue-tied. I needed that.

Amy E.-Almost right from the start of 11th grade, I was smitten with this blonde beauty. I was not quite sure why then. This was the girl that had me being an idiot just to get her attention, and damn was I pathetic. I wrote her notes, sent her carnations with the message "Love Ya", and it pretty much embarrassed her, and me, as the end result. Ah, awkward youth. I was interested in her for the rest of high school but to no avail.

Julie Cinnamon- This was a girl I liked in my 1 year at West Virginia. Alas, she had a guy who was in the military. I will say it was nice to have a new focus other than Amy.

After West Virginia, I went through a dry spell in regards to girls to like. A full 2 years and 4 months to be exact. One of those years was spent with lousy temp jobs in San Diego, another was in junior college. Well, there was a girl named Darcy, but she was about 6 years older. I found myself being stupid again like I was with Amy...I was a guy who needed to get laid before my mind went bonkers.

Kimberly C.- I met her at Sonoma State's summer orientation. She was really fun and perky and I liked being around her. Unfortunately, I had 2 things going against me. First, when I got the guts to ask her out, my parents were on the verge of splitsville. Second, she had another guy she liked and was getting some from. Still, we had some nice times for a couple of years. My temper almost cost me my friendship with her a couple of times. The trouble with parents divorcing at that point in life is that it put me into a total sense of confusion and loss. And by temper I don't mean physical, just words. Luckily, we have grown and are still friends.

Sarah Sc.- Another college interest. Pretty and gaunt and smart. Other than that, she seemed to have a strange home life and we only got together a couple of times. I tried to get something going after graduation, but she got a job so nothing.

Sarah Su.- This Sarah has the distinction of being the first girl I met online. She was a very pretty Chinese girl who lived in Sacramento. I went over there a few times to see her. Once we just did lunch and movie, the next time was a day in San Francisco. We did a few other things, and were pretty passionate with each other. We never did the deed, but got close a couple of times. Timing was not right and I was probably a bit anxious.

Jodie D.- Another online connection. We actually had 2 separate periods. One was brief in the summer of 2000 and we fooled around a bit. The other was was just slightly longer in late 2001-early 2002. It was during this last period that I got my cherry popped at last...AT 29!! I think she figured that out without asking, and was frustrated I was awkward about that part. Oh well, an obstacle had been overcome and I no longer felt pressure within myself.

Treasa S- My first real regular woman friend after moving to Las Vegas, met online. She was taller than me but it did not matter to her. We had a lot of fun going to movies, eating together, and fooling around. I felt quite blessed to be with her, although she was not really with me exclusively. That bothered me a bit, but I did enjoy my times with her. Like Jodie, we had 2 periods: spring-summer of 2003 and spring-summer 2004. We are still friends to this day.

Gigi P.- I actually met Gigi through another online connection. Gigi was older, divorced, and with a child. After a slow start, we enjoyed a 4 month relationship of sex and companionship. However, we bickered a lot over commitment issues (I wasn't close to ready) and she was quite jealous of any other females in my life, Treasa in particular. There was no place for that relationship to grow.

Dorothy- There came a time when a lot of failed first and second dates were taking their toll on me. Summer of 2004 was that time. Losing Gigi and then Treasa for a second time did not help. I found Dorothy from Texas online in late summer and we developed a daily phone routine. I really wanted to meet her and invited her for a visit. When that time came in late October, I was at wit's end over relationships and work. I not only paid for a plane ticket, but I invited her to live with me. Never having met her before, I actually asked her this! She came, we had sex a few times, and were trying to be domestic. However, she was 9 years younger and had her own huge problems, not the least of which was coming down form a speed addiction. After a week, the dam burst and we both knew it was not working. I drove her back to Texas during track break and came home a lonely guy. This guy was in need of serious psychotherapy and I proceeded immediately.

Thea R.- After a few weeks of therapy, I was starting to feel better and ready for the dating world. Maybe a bit premature, but I had, in my own mind, unmanned myself with Dorothy and needed to get something back. Along came Thea in December of 2004. It was almost too perfect. We met online and then a bar the next night. After a few drinks we came to my place and had the best sex I'd had to that point. Shortly after, she hooked up with someone else, but after a few months it was over and we got together a few times in spring 2005. We are still good friends and I credit her with restoring my manhood during a difficult time.

Jacqueline C-My first experience with a psycho. Quite the mood jumps. A wiccan, and as I later discovered, still married to her 2nd hubby! This lasted a little over a month before I escaped.

After my last time with Thea, I had a few dates with others, but by fall of 2005 I was tired of the scene. Part of it was my fault, I expected too much from people, not in terms of relationships but rather honesty. I quit for 3 months.

During that time I developed a nice friendship with a woman named Robin. No stress, just meals and movies. I also hung with 2 sisters with major mental hangups. Overall, the celibacy was wearing thin pretty quick, so I got back into the game during the Christmas holidays. Robin and I might have gotten serious if we'd wanted to, but her plate was pretty full and the most we shared was a kiss on New Year's Eve.

   In January 2006, I spent some time with Melanie in Bullhead City, but that commute would get old fast. She was also too down on herself. I was also with Vanessa K. Sex with her was fun but she was another temperamental firecracker like Jacqueline, and was much more obsessed with her own orgasms via whole fist. Quite the lesson in elasticity.

   On February 11 2006, after a week of phone talks, I met Vickie. Seriously, the rest is history. We married 9 months later and had a baby girl in summer of 2009. It is not perfect, we have our pasts and disagreements, but we talk and work things out and above all, we love each other with all our hearts!

The end!

Solo 4 and 5 and 6

   Nice to have something to write on again, happy to say! Having no computer was tough for a bit.

   OK, that's out of the way, on to business.

   Previously, I've written about some solo road trips I've taken in  California. I've decided to mix the last 3  memorable trips into one post so I can unclog my brain on other issues. I say last 2 because a year after the last one, I met the woman who would become my wife and make road trips even more great!

Solo road trip 4: Santa Rosa to Las Vegas

   After a quite stressful year of applying and interviewing for teaching jobs, one such trip involving a car wreck, I'd finally wrangled a teaching position in Las Vegas,Nevada.  This meant a major uprooting from comfy, beautiful Sonoma County to the bleak desert. It also meant leaving a pretty easy street situation of no rent payments that had been going on for 4 years. It had to end sometime. I was also leaving my best buddy Scott after 8 years of dorm and apartment living. Yes, the common law marriage was coming to an amicable divorce. It was about time, he needed to get a woman in his life!

   On August 2,2002, my dad and I set out in a 2-vehicle caravan to Las Vegas. It counts as a solo because we were in different autos.We headed out at 2am onto U.S. 101, a dark and typically overcast night. Making our way to San Rafael, we got onto 580 and tore (literally) through the east Bay burbs of Richmond, Oakland, and San Leandro. There was almost no traffic and certainly no typical bay backups. 580 soon cut east into the Castro Valley towns of Pleasanton and Livermore, 2 towns I was never excited about. Before long, 580 was out of the Bay Area, heading through Altamont Pass and into the San Joaquin Valley. 580 soon ended at I 5 just south of Tracy and 5 continued the dreary travel through nondescript brown landscape, occasionally within view of farmland for a couple hundred miles through Stanislaus, Merced, Fresno, and King Counties. Coming into Kern County, we got off on CA 46 to cut across to CA 99. 46 was just a nice quick 20 mile cut with no frills and thankfully no lights.

   Soon we got onto 99 south. 99 was once the main Valley drag that hit all the major towns, and later I-5 was the high-speed yet desolate bypass. After about 25 miles, we were in Bakersfield, where I had gone for an interview previously. We got on to CA 58 (former U.S, 466)  and were soon crossing the lower Sierra Nevada Mountains. It was still only about 8 in the morning. After the Sierras, we were in the Mojave Desert. 58 cut through the small town of Mojave (coincidence?) and proceeded due east for a 70 mile trek to Barstow, passing to the north of Edwards Air Force Base and crossing U.S. 395 on the way. The cool thing was, there were mileage signs on 58 for Las Vegas, only 200 miles away!

   In Barstow, 58 ended at I 15. where we took the northbound ramp toward Vegas. After Barstow, 15 cuts through the barren burg of Yermo and then 48 miles of bleak desert toward Baker, where we got a quick snack, After Baker, 15 climbs quite steeply for 16 miles to a crest, dips into the Cima Valley, then climbs again through a pass, then descends once more down a lengthy hill. This hill is notable because the stateline town of Primm,Nevada is constantly in view with its 3 casinos and an outlet mall. Once in Nevada, 15 is bombarded with billboards advertising all sorts of Las Vegas attrractions.

   After 27 miles more of desert, 15 finally reaches the Vegas Valley. As it was a Friday, there was some traffic buildup at noon, but I was to learn that this was normal any day in Vegas. Passing by the Vegas Strip hotels to the left, we crossed U.S. 95 and picked up U.S. 93 as we headed into North Las Vegas. One thing I have noticed about Las Vegas is that, like other metro areas, it is quite ugly in the daytime, but sparkles at night.

   At exit 46, we got off at Cheyenne Ave and headed east to Nellis Blvd, right next to the Air Force base. My apartment was pretty much right there. After almost an hour of filling out forms in a cool office, we spent a couple of hours unloading the vehicles and setting up my sparse furniture of a bed, chair, and a few glass tables. After that, we found a Tony Roma's on the Strip at the now-defunct Stardust Hotel/Casino and enjoyed some ribs and beer. Well needed!

   The next day, my dad headed home quite early and left me some money to buy some items. I found a place to get breakfast, hit Wal Mart, and just spent the rest of the day getting organized and getting to know the town.


   Over the course of the next several years, I'd do many drives to and from San Diego. Those are not really notable, pretty much I 15 the whole way. Once in a while I'd hit old 66 between Victorville and Barstow, but that was bleak 2-lane desert road with many bumps.

Solo road trip #5: Las Vegas to Enumclaw

   I'd flown a couple of times to see my sister and her kids, but one year I decided to drive it. In March 2004 during track break (3 of those replaced summer vacation) I decided to take an unusual route. I headed up 15 out of the Vegas Valley. Once out, the desert is still there. U.S. 93, having been part of 15 for 22 miles, departs toward Ely and 15 heads toward Moapa and then hits a long straightaway before descending into Mesquite.

   After Mesquite, 15 crosses into Arizona and is bleak desert for 9 miles before entering what is probably one of the most beautiful engineering marvels on an Interstate: the Virgin River Gorge. Before 15 was built through there, one had to take U.S. 91 on a 45-mile curvy route to St. George, Utah. That route is still drivable and is occasionally preferred as the Gorge is often under repair and narrowed to 1 lane, quite treacherous and slow when big rigs are present.

   However, when the Gorge is driven, it is a beautiful canyon drive for 18 miles before exiting and then hitting Utah. Gorgeous red rocks and tight curves make it almost hypnotic, but one must keep an eye on the road here.

   Upon entering Utah, 15 is quickly going into St. George, a good place for breakfast at Shoney's. I like St. George. It is a desert town, but it is so full of red rock and a view of tall ridges to the east that one knows they have entered a different landscape. After St. George, 15 winds north and upward , experiencing up to 20-degree drops in temperature before entering Cedar City, only 50 miles from St. George. After Cedar City, 15 rolls through occasional farmland and is almost always in view of some high peaks in either direction. Utah is cool like that.

After 110 miles in Utah I pass though Beaver, a tiny burg worthy of many cheap jokes just because of the name. 20 miles later, 15 gives access to the western end of I-70, which travels all the way to the Baltimore area. 15 continues into Millard County in a series of high climbs, steep descents, and long valleys, crossing U.S.. 50 along the way. Juab County is a bit flatter, passing through pretty Nephi. Soon after Nephi, 15 enters Utah County and a 100+mile string of towns, the heart of which are Provo and Salt Lake City.. I've always loved this area!

After the Salt Lake area, 15 goes through  Ogden and Brigham City, then enters the first bleak area for the first time in 2 hours. Well, not completely bleak, there were still ridges about. I got onto I 84 west, which cut through more bleak Utah before hitting bleak southern Idaho. In fact, I 84 showed me that southern Idaho is pretty much nothing for miles around. After a junction with short I 86, 84 hits a few small towns like Burley and Jerome, passes to the north of Twin Falls, then wends emptily toward Boise, where I spent the night.

   The next morning, I got a better view of Boise, which looked pretty nice with a mountainous background. After Boise, 84 cut through a few smaller towns in the Snake River Valley, then passed into eastern Oregon. Now, I've driven through Oregon many times and have seen its beauteous greenery. Eastern Oregon is quite the opposite, with its long highway stretches of nothingness, though there are some exceptions, and the ridge and subsequent downgrade toward Pendleton make 84 a worthwhile travel. Shortly after Pendleton came Hermiston, and I got onto I 82.

   82 is not what I'd call interesting, though it was nice to see other parts of Washington. It passes by Kennewick, though Prosser, and later Yakima before heading over a pass to end at I 90 near Ellensburg.

   Once I hit 90, I was almost immediately climbing the Cascades. The highway is quite beautiful through there and is always worthwhile except in snowy winter periods. After hitting Snoqualmie Pass, 90 descends toward the Seattle burbs. I got onto 18 south toward WA 169, getting pulled over for speeding. I explained that I was on the final stretch of a long drive and was forgiven (no ticket). After getting on to 169 and through beautiful Washington farms and greenery, I was soon in Enumclaw and ready to relax.

Coming back was pretty much the same as I took the same route.

Solo trip 6: Santa Rosa to Enumclaw

Actually, my 6th and last major solo trip of note began as a trip to San Diego. After a few days with my mom and soon-to-be-stepdad, I headed up 5 and 101 to Santa Rosa to hang with Scott and his lady Darlene for a few days before heading to Washington. This time, I was determined to take a nice leisurely drive.

 I headed up 101 through the beautiful Sonoma County farmland and vineyards before getting into forested, hilly, and curvy Mendocino County. I'd been through Mendocino County many times and never got tired of it. That county is one of California's best. I could do without Ukiah, but Hopland and Willits are nice little hamlets. Heading north, , two-lane 101 passes small Laytonville and Leggett and Piercey before entering Humboldt County where 101 is mostly freeway again. After passing through many curvy forested valleys, 101 hits the Eureka area. One thing I've always loved about Eureka is its constantly cooler temperatures. There is also a KFC buffet there...probably not good for my body now but back then the never-ending chicken, mashed, and cole slaw were enough to satisfy a traveler's belly. North of Eureka, 101 passes through Arcata where CSU Humboldt is. After that, the highway is windy forest with occasional ocean views, pretty cool stuff.

Soon 101 is in Del Norte County, home of cool Crescent City and Pelican Bay Prison. North of that, 101 gives access to U.S. 199 to Grants Pass, while 101 itself cuts through the rest of woodsy Del Norte into Oregon, hitting oceanfront Brookings quickly. After Brookings, 101, winds through windy forests and ocean views pretty much all the way up the Oregon coast, a lovely 300+ miles. Coos Bay is especially nice! However, I did not get so lucky.

My original plan was to stay in Florence for the night, but as there was widespread construction on 101, I had to cut east on OR 126 to Eugene, cut up to Corvallis, then take U.S. 20 to Newport. By then it was dark and I was hungry, so I stayed in Newport for the night. In the morning I grabbed the continental breakfast and continued up the coast through Lincoln City, Tillamook, and finally Astoria where I was to get a big treat. I had always wanted to cross the big bridge into Washngton on 101 and this was my chance. After a high rise, the bridge flattens to give a view of the Pacific all the way into Washington. I got onto WA 4, crossing miles of wooded valleys into Longview, where I had lunch with someone I'd met on a dating site. After that, I headed to 5 and aimed for Enumclaw.

After a few days with my sister's fam and a day with my high school pal Derek in Everett, I headed up U.S. 2 into the windy Cascades through Stevens Pass, where I caught U.S. 97 to Ellensburg where I took 82 back to 84 back to Idaho. I stayed in Twin Falls for the night, then took U.S.93  back to Vegas. 93 is long, brown, and doesn't hit much besides Jackpot at the state line, a more scenic version of Primm. It also crosses I-80 at Wells and Ely a couple hours later. After that, 93 hits a few pretty area, but mainly it is bleak desert all the way home.

Unfortunately, that was the last of my solo road trips. Not long after that, I was with Vickie and about to enjoy new adventures on the road with her as my co-pilot. I couldn't have asked for a better future!

Big Solo 3!

   Recently I have written about my first 2 solo road trips, which were quite long in mileage and time. The first few were from San Diego to Sonoma County or vice versa. Not much changed in that time span. My buddy Scott and I took several road trips together in that time as well, but my next big solo excursion happened in September of 1997. As it was round trip, I had a lot of mileage to cover.

   To set it up, my sister and her family moved back to the Seattle area in summer 1995. I had gone with my mom and my dad separately via plane to visit them a few times. In early September 1997, my dad gave me his old 1986 Volvo with 120K miles on it. Having spent a fairly dormant summer lazing around after getting my bachelor's degree, I decided a big road trip to make the Volvo truly mine (for better or worse) was necessary. I'd done the San Diego trip enough, so Seattle seemed the right thing to do. Not only was my sister and her family there, my childhood friend Derek Coller was there as well. I wasn't particularly close to my sister or her husband, but her 2 sons were dear to my heart and she'd also recently given birth to a little girl and I wanted to see her.

   The night before the trip, I stayed the night at Scott's parents' house in Fairfield so as to get right on the freeway early in the morning. At about 5:30 am, I got onto I 80 east, cutting through beautiful northern California hills into Vacaville just a few miles later. It was impossible to eat breakfast yet, I had to make 100 miles at least before submitting to food and drink, an old family tradition my wife has since made me end!

   In Vacaville, I turned on to I 505, a 33-mile rural freeway with no frills, just flat agriculture and dirt on the western edge of the Sacramento Valley. Near Dunnigan, it merges with I 5. I was excited because this was all new territory for me to cover. 5 continued in the Sacramento Valley through Yolo County into Colusa County, where in Williams it intersects California 20, which goes west to Clear Lake and east into Gold Country and the Sierras...one of California's nicer state highways. 5 continues into Glenn County, staying rural and interecting with connections to Chico and other valley towns. In Tehama County, 5 crosses through Red Bluff, the first real town since Vacaville. As I'd gone 140 miles, it was time for breakfast, and a Denny's right off an exit ramp seemed perfect.

   Getting back onto 5 afterward, the freeway began to gradually climb for 30 miles. By the time I passed through Redding in Shasta County, I was clearly in mountain country. 5 was now passing through beautiful hills and forested areas, not to mention a few tight curves here and there. It was definitely better than the flat farmland I'd been tortured with earlier. Passing beautiful Shasta Lake and Dunsmuir, I entered Siskiyou County and passed through Weed, a town I suspected was aptly named by a relaxed population. Weed is also where U.S. route 97 begins, cutting into Oregon then Washington. It is notable that gorgeous looming Mt. Shasta was almost always in view.

   Soon after, I passed through Yreka, pondering the weirdness of such a town name, though the surrounding land makes it a nice village. 5 then begins a very steep climb toward Siskiyou Summit. Before the climb was done, I was in Oregon. The descent was steep yet beautiful and before long I was in Ashland, home of a popular Shakespeare festival. Down the road is Medford, another nice southern Oregon town. 5 then curves west along the Rogue River Valley for several miles. The surrounding hills make this stretch pretty fun to drive along.

   Before long, 5 curves north to the east side of Grant's Pass. Scott and I had traveled here a year before, staying in a really hot motel room due to bad AC one night. Continuing north, 5 weaves in and out of steep hills and curves for many miles. In Roseburg, there was an interesting anomaly. U.S. 99 had been decommissioned more than 20 years ago in Oregon, but there was an exit sign remaining with the U.S. shield. I was lucky to get a photo of it, a risky move while driving, but I was lucky to get it, as my next trip through there saw the Oregon state highway symbol for 99 replacing it.

   5 continued through hilly and curvy country for over 50 more miles before hitting the outskirts of Eugene and Springfield. 5 stays clear of both, but I have been in Eugene and it is one of the prettiest small towns I've been in! North of Eugene, 5 enters the Willamette Valley, Oregon's version of California's long-ass San Joaquin/Sacramento Valleys. Luckily, this valley was not so long, and after gassing up in Salem, continued into the Portland area. I remember asking the gas attendant (you can't fill your own car in Oregon) if there was a bridge toll across the Columbia and he smiled and said only crazy California does that...actually a lot of east coast bridges have tolls as well.

   Portland, Oregon is a really gorgeous area filled with trees and mountains on either side. 5 is fairly congested here, but it is not forever and before I knew it I was crossing the Interstate Bridge into Vancouver, Washington, a small but fairly industrial river town. From there, 5 follows the Columbia river for about 30 miles , then goes through Longview and Kelso and leaves the river. 5 then crosses several small creeks and wooded areas for over 50 miles, passing through Centralia, Toledo, and Vader (I laughed here), before hitting the capital of Olympia, where one of my favorite roads, U.S. 101, meets its demise.

   After Olympia, 5 cuts northeast toward Puget Sound and enters Pierce County before coming into Tacoma, a very congested area at rush hour! Before long, I entered King County, the home of Seattle. I got off 5 onto WA 516 and drove into Kent. Soon I was at my sister's house ready to stretch my legs!

After a few days of visiting with 3 year old Ian and 1 year old Shawn and baby Megan, as well as Derek and his wife Vickie, I headed back toward Santa Rosa.

I definitely wanted to try a different route home to keep life fresh. I followed I 5 back down to Kelso where I got off the freeway. As it was 110 miles from Kent, I was legally able to eat breakfast. I chose Shari's, a Denny's-like diner with a counter...my kind of place!

After a heartburn-creating meal, I went down WA 433 through a quite industrial-looking area still in the dark of early hours. It was also drizzling or flat out showering. Soon I crossed a high but simple bridge over the Columbia River and right on the other side was U.S. 30. I got onto 30 west toward Astoria. 30 cut through a rainy forest for 50 miles. I'm sure it was gorgeous on a sunny day. I remembered 30 as the main freeway through Lancaster in Pennsylvania when growing up. In Astoria, 30 met its demise at U.S. 101, which had come off a very nice bridge over the Columbia just east of the mighty Pacific Ocean.

Now on 101 south, I saw a lot of beautiful coastline mixed with forested areas. I soon passed through Tillamook, and then Lincoln City and Newport down the road. After many miles of rainy forest, I drove through Florence, and before long I was in lovely Coo's Bay. All along the way, I was afforded wonderful views of the Pacific Ocean, although in many areas  it was fogged over.

   From Coo's Bay onward, the weather cleared up quite a bit. Bandon, Fort Orford, and Gold's Beach were much more pleasant to drive through. After beautiful Brookings, 101 entered California and got quite woodsy. After a junction with U.S. 199 (toward Grant's Pass) I went through Crescent City, home of nasty prison Pelican Bay. Afterward, 101 was quite curvy and woodsy, but pretty due to no more rain. At dinner time I finally got into Eureka and decided to spend the night there at a Holiday Inn Express.

   The next morning, I mildly cheated and had the continental breakfast at the hotel, then got back on 101. Just south of Fortuna, I got onto the Avenue of the Redwoods, a winding road which was actually old 101 and much prettier than the freeway. The road finally ended at 101 just before entering Mendocino County. In Leggett, there was a nice tourist attraction with a drive-through tree. Recent rains have destroyed this, I am sad to say.

After Legett, 101 winds through beautiful forests and hills, passing through small Laytonville and eventually going through lovely Willits. After Willits, 101 winds down to Ukiah where it is briefly a freeway. It slims down again through Hopland before entering Sonoma County and becoming a full freeway just before Cloverdale. Passing through Geyserville, Healdsburg, and Windsor, 101 hit my old home of Santa Rosa just in time for lunch.

Overall, this was one of my best road trips. I had a great combo of classic rock and audio books to entertain me and occasionally keep me awake. I'd love to do it again with my family one day.

The Second Solo (not Han Jr.)

   Earlier I wrote about my very first solo road trip in January 1995. Hard to believe that was almost 22 years ago, half my lifetime really. At that point, my parents' marriage was almost 2 months from ending. Having a car in college freed me to be a bit more social...or alone to think, which was necessary form time to time.

   In mid-March, the marriage was over and thus began a long period of adjustment for me, about 3 years worth.Well, I had to get home at some point, and Spring Break in April was the time to do it.

   The trip did not start out solo, as I'd offered to drop two guys from the dorms at the Oakland Airport. We set off pretty early on 101, then grabbed I 580. Almost immediately we were on the San Rafael-Richmond Bridge, a long but unimpressive span across the northern bay. After that we passed through Richmond, El Cerrito, and Emeryville before hitting Oakland...all 3 towns suffering from urban blight As the  northernmost part of the 880 freeway had not been rebuilt form the 1989 earthquake, we had to take 980 to 880.  I got to the airport by about 7am, traffic was still fairly light then. Afterward, finally alone, I continued down 880 all the way through the South Bay urban blight cities...they really all look the same. Early morning rush hour caused a few slow areas, but it flowed well overall.

   In San Jose, I returned to 101. The scenery got less urban and more country. All around were yellow-brown hills with a few green patches for 40 miles. At last I went through some woodsy curves after Gilroy (home of garlic and it smells like it!) and was in Monterey County. By this time I was pretty hungry so I stopped at an IHOP around 10am for some Swedish crepes and eggs.

   The landscape in Monterey County around 101 was still yellow-brown hills for the most part, hitting small towns every 15-20 miles. After getting into San Luis Obispo County, the landscape turned pretty hilly for many miles, going through the towns of Atascadero, Paso Robles, and San Luis Obispo, then a great view of the ocean at Pismo Beach. 101 then turned inland again as it entered Santa Barbara County.  Shortly after Buellton, 101 took a huge curve to the east at Gaviota Pass, offering a great view of the Pacific Ocean for dozens of miles. 101 passed through the picturesque towns of Goleta, Santa Barbara, and Carpenteria before entering Ventura County to pass through blighted Ventura and Oxnard. In one of those towns I grabbed some lunch but for the life of me, I cannot remember where!

    Entering Los Angeles County, 101 passed through the beautiful Agoura Hills before entering the San Fernando Valley. Soon, I was entering motion picture land. 101 turned southeast onto the Hollywood Freeway, but I stayed on the current freeway which was now CA 134 through Glendale and then Pasadena before the freeway became I 210...and also became a bit more congested as it traveled through the San Gabriel Valley through ugly town after town. Twenty miles east, the freeway ended on CA 66, former home of U.S. 66 in its glory days. I now had to contend with lights, but it was a small price to pay to be on a classic road. I went through Sam Dimas, Laverne, and Claremont before entering San Bernardino County to pass through Upland and Rancho Cucamonga. At one point, I stopped at a McDonald's just because it strove for a classic building design. The food, however, was far from classic.

   Finally, I hit I 15 south and took the congested rush hour freeway back to San Diego via Norco, Corona, Lake Elsinore, Temecula, and Escondido. I was tired, it was almost 7pm. It was a strange visit home, particularly because I now had 2 homes: my Dad's house and Mom's new apartment. Both were still getting used to their new lives, having their happy moments as well as tough ones. I think my mom, despite a lower income than my dad, had things slightly easier. For one thing, at that point she and her sister Terry were close and lived close to one another so there was a support system. Mom was also a better cook, and she lived near some pretty decent restaurants by San Diego State.

   Almost 22 years later, I remember this trip fondly for the scenery, music on the radio, and self-reflection.

The First Solo Road Trip

I have written a lot about road trips in my life...and if you think I'm stopping soon you don't know me well!

There are a lot of special road trips in my life that stand above others. Many factors go into making them special: firsts, events along the way, people I was with, etc. The focus here is my first solo trip.

In January 1995, I convinced my dad to let me drive my car up to college and keep it there. My reasons were as follows: I was no longer public traffic enemy #1 like I once had been, and I didn't want to be a passenger in a musicless car. He was notorious for long silences on road trips. I was with him on a multi-day trip from Philadelphia to San Diego  2 1/2 years previously, and the number of miles we went without music, news, political banter, whatever on the radio can be expressed like this: yawn! Oh another reason was I wanted to start dating and not having a car kills possibilities there!

I also had a premonition before the trip, that my parents' marriage was in trouble and my self-reliant mobility would be important soon.

So it was, on Friday, January 20, 1995, I set off on my first long solo road trip. I was already packed to go. My mom supplied me with a cup of coffee and a bowl of oatmeal before I left. The plan was: I-15 to I-10 to I-210 to I-5 to I-580 to U.S. 101...simple, direct, and fast. Well...that was my dad's plan and I crossed my fingers as I agreed to it. Yes, I was 22 and still crossed my fingers for fib insurance! My own plan was much more intricate and interesting...and longer! Heading to my car, I gave my mom a tearful hug goodbye. I knew I was leaving her in a stressful home. Even though my sister and her family along with my aunt were in town, another piece of support for her was gone.

With a full tank of gas and a tape of early 70s classics, I set out on I-15. Just north of Temecula, I took 215 because I wanted to see Riverside and San Bernardino. Yeah, I have strange goals sometimes. I wasn't impressed with either toxic dump. However, I had no plans to stop and check out the city halls so I kept going. 215 ended back at 15. I followed that to CA 138 to travel through the foothills of the San Gabriel Mountains. Pretty lucky for me that it was just a cloudy and not snowy day! Eventually, 138 flattened out in the Mojave Desert to flow into Palmdale (not as pretty as it sounds). At this point, the oatmeal had run thin and I needed a meal. I actually wanted to sit and eat, but nothing on the highway was looking good besides fast food, and I wanted no part of that at the moment. I got onto CA 14 north, which led me to Lancaster, another desert armpit. However, there WAS a Coco's, which filled my breakfast needs  quickly.

Getting back on 14, I drove through more desert bleakness for about 30 miles before hitting the town on Mojave. 14 ceased being a freeway here so I had to contend with lights for a mile or so before hitting CA 58. At this point, I popped in an audiobook by Dave Barry. My cousin Erica had gotten it for me for Christmas. I had never read his stuff , so I had no idea what he was all about. I found him to be a funny author. The actor Arte Johnson reading it made the book an even funnier time!

CA 58 wove through the southern Sierra Nevada Mountains for 30 miles, then dropped into the blah Central Valley, hitting lovely (HAH) Bakersfield before long. This was actually about the halfway point of the trip!

After gassing up, I got onto CA 99, which was once U.S. 99, the precursor to Interstate 5 all the way up to Canada in the old days. Dave Barry's humor got me through some boring stretches(meaning the entire 100 miles!) between Bakersfield and Fresno. Fresno seemed like a good place to grab lunch, and as it was raining a bit, the idea made sense. A Denny's caught my eye (I had no taste then) and by the time my heartburn-inducing meal was over, the rain had stopped. 99 continued to other buttcracks such as Madera, Merced, metropolitan Chowchilla, and Modesto. Soon after Modesto, I cut across CA 120 to I-5 south near Stockton. Within a few miles, I got onto I-205 to skirt Tracy and gas up again. After 250+ miles, I was still in the Central Valley!

205 ended at I-580 to take me into Livermore and the outer Bay Area. Thinking the tripw as almost over, I got onto I-680 north...and into hell! It was late Friday afternoon  in the Bay Area and I was a virgin to those traffic conditions. From 580 to Walnut Creek, it was stop and go, and the renewed rain and dark did not precisely help. By the time I hit Martinez 35 miles and over an hour later, the traffic eased up. After paying a toll, I crossed the Benicia-Martinez Bridge...if the bridge tolls were based on aesthetics, the state should pay the drivers to cross it! After the bridge I got onto I-780, a short connector to I-80 in Vallejo. I wasn't on 80 long before hitting CA 37, which skirted the northern San Francisco Bay. It actually crossed into Sonoma COunty for a bit, where I hit CA 121 to the Sonoma area, then grabbed CA 116 to the outskirts of Petaluma. Adobe Road and Petaluma Hill Road took me to the Sonoma State University campus and the end of an over-12 hour trip!

Looking back, my first solo road trip was successful and quite pleasant. The combo of audiobook and music let me enjoy my own world of travel and personal thought.

Incidentally, 2 months later my mom left my dad, and a long period of adjustment ensued. Coming soon: the first trip back home post-divorce.

A Letter to Society

Dear Everyone in my World,

In the past year and a half, I have seen a rapid decline in society. I thought that the death of my father-in-law was the low point of 2015. Compared to everything else I've seen, that was a bright spot of the year.

I know, we're talking ancient history for those who don't remember anything before this election...an election that began in summer of 2015. A summer when gay rights were extended and the Confederate flag was vilified. A summer when Bill Cosby was exposed as a dark pervert for decades.

Too much change at once is not good for anyone's psyche. We don't know what moderation is anymore, it has to be all at once or nothing at all. People are feeling discouraged, depressed, angry, and sometimes suicidal or homicidal...or both!

 

On the political front, I saw Hillary Clinton pretty much pledge to continue the rapid change (in not so many words). I saw Donald Trump pretty much pledge to change the changes, in way too many words. Both of them chewed up the scenery for 16 months and there was no avoiding them. There was also little to no chance for anyone to challenge them within their own parties, any opposition was squashed and humiliated .

The result that I have seen from that carnage is a different civil war in this nation. There are no moderates (at least none being heard). There is the Trump camp filled with those who want to go back to an earlier time (I think they mean pre-Civil Rights) and general Nazis who can't microwave popcorn. There is the Hillary camp filled with those who want every microcosm of society to be valued and funded by the public, those who want religions vilified (I know, I used that word twice, sue me!),  those who want everyone allowed into the country, and those who want the nation disarmed and dis-policed.

There is little-to-no common ground for both camps to share. The divisions were enhanced by the media, TV and social. Radio talkheads in both spectrums spat their hatreds for the other side daily.

At school, things are not much better. Common texts for reading and math are still not present. Common Core IS present, to teachers' and parents' chagrin. We are expected to fill our students' heads with more knowledge than they can be expected to process at their age. Teachers are also expected to follow a strict guideline of practices that were not demonstrated in practical terms for us to follow...therefore some have it, some don't...I'm trying to figure it out still, but I am a visual learner. I could go on about education, but it's Sunday.

What is the answer? Ask those in either huge camp and you'll hear direct opinions with no tolerance for anything different. If you're lucky to find a moderate, embrace them, for they are a rare breed. 

What do I want, you ask? I want the impossible. I want for everyone to get along and be thankful for what they already have, particularly if they have it all! I want the religious and anti-religious to live their lives and stop imposing their ideas on others forcefully. I want our political system to be washed, sanitized, and refilled with fresh bodies (time to empty the fridge, people!). I want people to stop trying to erase history...for if you erase it, how can you learn from it?

Most of all, I want people to be happy. Find your happy place and enjoy it, hopefully with another person or 2. 

Merry Christmas everyone!

Bryan

Home Means Berks County

It is strange. I have lived more than half of my life out west. 2 years in San Diego, 8 years in Sonoma County, and 22 years in Las Vegas. However, there are only 2 places I consider to be home. One is Michigan, a state I was blessed to reconnect with this year. The other is where I had most of my formal schooling and met my childhood friends, a land of big yards, farmland, unique cuisine and, well, American goodness. That place is Berks County, Pennsylvania.

One might think my time in Vegas would make me consider it home. No, it was always intended to be a temporary desert hideout, like Tatooine. However, a 5 year plan involved not only work, but creating a wonderful marriage and, at the 7-year point, a beautiful daughter. Las Vegas simply became a backdrop to our life together, not a central plot point.

Berks County. A land of Penn State football fans and everything involving professional sports teams in Philadelphia. I maintain my Philly allegiances to this day, even if I haven't a damn clue who the players are.

To give a short history of my time there, we moved to Wernersville in early 1976 from Michigan and moved away in mid 1979. I attended nursery school in Robesonia (non-Berks  friends, I challenge you to pronounce that town correctly) and Kindergarten for 2 years at Lower Heidelberg Elementary School. We moved back in late 1980 during my 2nd grade year and we stayed until early 1992.

There are so many memories I have that I'd fill a book full of sleep-inducing anecdotes (just ask my wife). However, there are some central images that make me smile.

The school bus rides from our house in Wernersville to Lower Heidelberg Elementary went through quite beautiful rolling hills and farmland. In fall and spring, the scenery was beautiful.

In West Lawn, there was a great Pizza Hut. It was not only fun to eat at with family, it was also where many of us went after a school dance. Darkly-lit, it had a great atmosphere. I miss that place.

Also in West Lawn was a restaurant called the Ranch House. We went here after dances as well. I remember the food being excellent.

There was also a Hess Station from where my father got his annual Hess model truck during the holidays.

In Sinking Spring was a drive-in theater. I vaguely remember staying awake for 20 minutes of Star Wars in 1977. That theater was a landmark for years, I was disappointed when I visited in 2000 and it had been taken down.

In Sinking Spring there was a department store called Boscov's. Great toy section, bought some Atari games there. Boscov's also had a good diner in the back.

Almost right across from Boscov's was a decent McDonald's, where I had my first real job. Kitty corner from there was a Burger King. My friends and I sometimes rode our bikes there in the summer.

In Sinking Spring was St. John's church. I attended services and confirmation classes there in my final 2-3 years in Berks.

Then there's good old Wyomissing. There was once a Weis Market and Thrift Drug on State Hill Road. My mom would pick me up from Kindergarten on Fridays to do grocery shopping at Weis and get prescriptions or whatever filled at Thrift. In those days my mom let me look at toys or read without supervision...a different time indeed.

Also in Wyomissing was the Berkshire Mall. That place by itself is worth a book. It housed a great record store, one of the best Arby's I ever ate at, a supreme arcade, and a pretty nice central lit fountain, among other things. Whether going to one of the restaurants on a Friday night with family or walking around with buddies, the mall was THE hangout place.

Down the road from Wyomissing once was the Tulpehocken Dairy, a last gasp at returnable glass milk bottles until 1986. I remember them having THE best white and chocolate milk! I was bummed when we had to get milk from the regular store after that!

I remember the "Road to Nowhere", a bizarre 5-mile expressway with no route designation...it narrowed down to Van Reed Rd/Mull Avenue in Sinking Spring. The Road to Nowhere was taken by many to route 183 to get to the airport.

The Reading Airport was where we went to pick up visiting grandparents and sometimes have a meal at the restaurant. My Grandpa Fitz would take me there to watch planes land and take off...and in the late 70s he would also take me to the airport bar. Like I said, different times.

To me, the main road connecting all was Penn Avenue, U.S. 422. It was on this road that Wernersville, Sinking Spring, and West Lawn thrived through business and residence.

Not quite in Berks, but significant, was Zinn's Diner and mini golf in Adamstown. Zinn's was quite famous for Pennsylvania Dutch cuisine and we did the mini golf course many times. Down the road from there was a set of towns deep in Amish country. One was called Blue Ball and another was Intercourse. A half hour or so north of Reading was Bethlehem and Nazareth. Southeastern Pennsylvania had its share of fun town names!

Besides all of these landmarks  and locations, there are a ton of memories. Memories of friendly, quirky, and quiet neighbors, a healthy combo of all 3. Memories of streets filled with rows of houses with big yards. One can imagine the loads of Halloween candy we scored each year!

Memories of bike rides through the countryside of Lower Heidelberg and the path between Reber's Bridge and Gring's Mill. Rides to Mr. Food in Drexelwood to grab a soda and snack.

Memories of going to friends' homes after school and during summer.

Memories of falling leaves in Autumn. Memories of heavy snowfall and the resulting shovel job.

Memories of driving a few miles to the nearest video store when they were new.

Memories of the Kirkners coming to our home on Christmas Eve for many years to eat and drink and enjoy good company.

I could go on...hell, I did go on.

I am grateful to still be connected to people I knew there. Some have remained, many have moved, some near and some far.

I plan to return one day to visit again, but I know that the days of vast, pristine farmland outside of town have given way to new neighborhoods and business developments. That happens. I let it get to me 16 years ago, now I just want to visit people and show my family where the core of my spirit will always remain.

God bless Berks County!