The Count of Monte Cristo

    Oh shit, you say, Bryan is doing another one of those damn book reviews! Even worse, he's going to compare it to the movie! Haven't we suffered this hell enough?!

   Well, no, you haven't. There is one consolation, though, I will not compare this work of Alexandre Dumas to any of its film interpretations/adaptations, for in this 1,462 page bullet stopper, there is way too much going on for one movie to cover...but I will return to the media aspect later.

   I do need to mention one film adaptation, though, since it was the impetus for me reading the book in the first place. The 2002 film with Jim Caviezel, Guy Pearce, and Richard Harris made the story intriguing enough. The next year I picked up the book, which turned out to be an ABRIDGED version despite its 500+ pages. Sure enough, when I read it, there seemed to be some pieces missing in terms of characters' fates. Therefore I went back to the store to get the full monty, so to speak. After finally finishing the full version last night, I am quite glad I made the purchase and effort, even though I put it down after just under 500 pages 3 years ago.

   The basic sketch of the tale is as follows: young Edmond Dantes, a sailor aboard the Marseilles vessel Pharaeon, has been secretly put in charge of a letter to one of Napoleon Bonaparte's agents by the ill captain LeClere. Upon arrival in Marseilles, the ship's and company's owner Monsieur Morrel is impressed with Edmond's deeds (not knowing of the letter) and makes him captain. The jealous Danglars, another ship officer, who has seen the letter, plots with Edmond's jealous rival for his lover Mercedes, Fernand Mondego to frame Edmond by sending the letter to the deputy procuror de roi (prosecutor for the king) Villefort. Edmond is arrested and interrogated and, after Edmond reveals is naivete for the letter's true meaning (Edmond is quite illiterate) he is about to be set free until he tells of the name of the letter's intended recipient Noirtier. Villefort is visibly agitated but keeps Edmond assured he will be free...and then sends Edmond to the Chateau D'If, a prison intended for the outcasts and embarrassments of Marseilles. There he meets the Abbe (Father) Faria who is imprisoned in a nearby cell and is befriended by him. 

   Faria is a wise and experienced man who teaches Edmond to read as well as mathematics and economics and the ways of the world. It is with Faria that Edmond discovers what the plot against him was truly about and it is here that Edmond becomes bent on revenge if he ever gets out. Faria also informs Edmond of a hidden treasure trove on the island of Monte Cristo, hidden underwater. When Faria dies, Edmond sneaks his body into the body bag which is tossed into the sea. 

   From there, Edmond works on ships and acquires enough money to get to Monte Cristo to find the treasure. Once that is acquired, he embarks on a series of life adventures for several years, establishing a series of various identities and backgrounds and buying slaves to perform as his servants. Once he purchases the title of the Count of Monte Cristo , he begins to set up his revenge plot by getting to know what makes the men who conspired against him tick and use that intelligence against them, which is pretty much what the last thousand or so pages are all about.

The end.

Haha, yeah right! I've been waiting way too long to write this to end it here.

First, let's go back to where the conspirators met. There was Danglars, the conspiracy leader; Fernand, a jealous rival for Mercedes’s affections and love...and a third, a tailor named Gaspard Caderousse. The latter is introduced as a man who is owed money by the Dantes family, specifically Edmond’s father. After the debt is paid (leaving the father a bit strapped), Caderousse is all friendly and benevolent. He is also prone to drink and as he sits and observes the conspirators, he assumes it is a joke. Caderousse appears later to tell Abbe Busoni (one of Edmond’s alter egos), by prompting, of what happened to all Edmond knew in Marseilles. Edmond learns that his father died of starvation while his enemies relocated to Paris. He provides Caderousse with a diamond to make a new life as Caderousse has fallen on hard times. 

Caderousse only goes downhill from there. Trying to get a good price for the diamond, he and his wife act to murder the jeweler they use (the wife dies during this) and Caderousse is imprisoned. He is later a thief and blackmailer, murdered by his blackmail victim Benedetto. I find Caderousse interesting because really he seems to be a born loser and his demand of repayment of a debt at a bad time, along with not standing up for Edmond to the prosecutor when he should have, sends his life from bad to worse. In fact, Edmond, as the Count, declares “1!” upon Caderousse’s death.

Another aspect of the story that is quite fascinating is Edmond creating all of these elaborate disguises and characters for himself: Sinbad the Sailor, Lord Wilmore, and Abbe Busoni. The latter is the most frequent alter ego as it signifies a religious presence in people’s homes as well as a legal influence to let certain prisoners free to begin a new life, Caderousse among them. In one scene, Abbe Busoni passes Danglars and leaves the room, then out comes the Count a moment or two later! Lord Wilmore is used mainly for one act of generosity for Monsieur Morrel, Edmond’s former boss who fell on hard times. In fact, via the riches from Monte Cristo, Morrel is rescued from a certain suicide. It is Edmond’s last act of generosity for some time.

From then on, the Count (he is not Edmond in any way for some time to come) plots how to get to his enemies via spies and observation. After a mysterious 10 years of which we the reader may assume Edmond traveled and experienced the world, he begins his chess-like game of revenge. He engages the Viscount Albert de Morcerf (son of Mercedes and Fernand, now known as the Count de Morcerf) in Rome. After gaining Albert’s trust via acting as a host in his home and various sports and theatrical displays, the Count arranges a kidnapping of Albert by the bandit Luigi Vampa, an acquaintance Edmond made soon after his prison escape. The Count then easily rescues Albert with merely his name. The ruse is effective and Albert invites the Count to Paris. 

Upon arrival, the Count wastes no time in purchasing not one home, but two, as well as gaining intelligence from unsuspecting friends of Albert regarding the Count’s enemies, though everyone views the Count as a wise benefactor and friend, particularly the wives of Villefort and Danglars. The men themselves meet the Count but do not recognize him as the man they tried to destroy over 20 years ago. Fernand, under his new name Count de Morcerf, does not appear much but does not recognize Edmond, either.

The revenge against Mondego/Morcerf involves love for his family. The Count arranges for Morcerf to be publicly humiliated and charged for a crime via testimony from the Count's slave/eventual love Haydee. After this humiliation, first Albert challenges the Count to a duel. The Count at first is ready to kill Albert until Mercedes, who knows the Count is really Edmond, confronts him and begs to spare Albert's life. The Count is quite moved and is prepared to let himself be killed until Albert apologizes, which to the Count is a sign from God. After Albert backs down, Morcerf personally confronts the Count to kill him, but upon his revelation to Morcerf as Edmond, Morcerf is horrified to see his former rival and, upon seeing Mercedes and Albert leave him and his home, commits suicide via pistol.

The Count’s own servant, the Corsican Bertuccio, gives the Count a big piece of Villefort’s shady past. In fact it is Villefort that is eventually given perhaps the most crushing blow in terms of vengeance. Not only does he and Madame Danglars have a son they both thought was lost (due to him burying him after birth thinking the boy was dead anyway), but his wife is poisoning anyone who gets in the way of her bratty boy Edward’s inheritance. Upon discovery, she poisons herself and Edward and both die. This drives Villefort to madness.

An interesting subplot involving the lost son is involved here regarding the revenge against Villefort. The son Benedetto was rescued from burial and later adopted by Bertuccio's (the servant) sister in law. and raised by her and Bertuccio, but he grew to be a criminal anyway. Imprisoned along with Caderousse, both are released with the Count giving Benedetto the new name Andrea Cavalcanti. "Andrea" upon murdering Caderousse to free himself from blackmail, is arrested for the murder. While imprisoned, Bertuccio visits him and tells him of his true parentage.

Danglars receives probably the lightest of the Count's vengeance, perhaps due to the brutal emotional beating Villefort was dealt, yet deserved in terms of punishing greed, and Danglars was greedy and more than a tad corrupt. He did have his problems, though. His wife was having an affair and his daughter has no interest in men...in fact the daughter Eugenie is a more than subtly implied lesbian. Upon his wife and daughter leaving him and him trying to swindle funds that did not belong to him, he like Albert is imprisoned by Luigi Vampa and generally forced into starvation unless he (Danglars) pays exorbitant sums of money to buy paltry amounts of food. When he is down to a mere 50,000 francs, he repents to the Count who forgives him then reveals himself as Edmond Dantes.

Yet Dantes has a soft spot for one family: the Morrels. After his old shipowner boss and friend dies, the Count befriends his children, particularly Maximillian, who is a military hero and having a forbidden romance with Valentine Villefort, daughter of the procuror and his first wife. After the Count saves her from the second wife's attempted poisoning, she and Maximillian are free to be together by the novel's end.

Over the 1,462 pages, there were many instances where I had to "skip ahead a bit" because of the long descriptive paragraphs that did not move the plot along, plus the too-literal French to English translated phrases that were a bore and sounding pseudo-Shakespearean to me.

While no movie could capture this complete tale without being over 4 hours long, The Count of Monte Cristo could easily be made into a streaming miniseries, or even an entire season if every nuance of the book is used. It would almost be soap opera-ish with different characters having unanticipated interactions with other characters you wouldn't imagine having any connection at all.

Northern California Where the Girls Are Warm(er)

    Of my 10 years spent in California, I have to say by far that the eight spent in Northern California were pretty much better than the two in San Diego. I can attribute this to several factors.

    The biggest factor to me really is the scenery. Right from my first visit on Labor Day weekend in 1993, I knew there was something special about Sonoma State University. I believe it was the small-town atmosphere that surrounded it. The urban/suburban sprawl of San Diego had not served me well, I was used to a little town here, a little town there kind of thing in Pennsylvania, so Rohnert Park did it for me. As I was into taking walks, the town had a perfect set-up. It was also bike friendly. Close by was an equal sized and smaller town called Cotati. I liked the feel of that town as well. 8 miles to the north was the bigger burg of Santa Rosa where I would move after graduation. About 30-40 miles to the west was the Pacific Ocean, depending on where you were headed. To the north and east were local highways and byways containing many a winery. I am not too much into wine itself, but there were a few varieties I came to enjoy now and then, especially Gewurtztraminer, a German that became my favorite.

   And then there was San Francisco itself, a convenient big city to explore when there was time...just 48 miles away. It was almost like the convenience of having Philly so close when living in the Reading area, only the drive to and from San Fran/The City/don't call it Frisco was more pleasant. Then there was Oakland, a less pleasant city, but always good for an A's game. Further south was San Jose. I never had much use for that place because it lacked a lot for me besides congested freeways.

   North of Santa Rosa were picturesque valleys, lots of forests, some hilly terrain...and an odd town called Eureka...and 100 miles beyond that, Oregon. Between my buddy Scott and I, we saw it all.

   In 1994, my folks drove me to Sonoma State for my first semester of classes. I had my mullet at that point. I immediately liked my new dorm and most of the people I was living with...hey in an 8-person suite you can't like EVERYONE, but I got into the environment much better than I did in West Virginia. Plus, on day one I met my almost-common-law-marriage buddy Scott Catania. We stayed pretty good friends and roommates for the next 8 years. We are still friends, but distance and individual family lives lessen the communication.

   I met a lot of other people I still maintain contact with via phone or social media at Sonoma State. Many of our dormmates ate together in the Zinfandel dining hall or got together in our little common area outside for talk or games or both. Several drank fairly often and a few did some pot. Scott and I weren't really into that s o often we just drove around in his car at night, listening to rock and maybe grabbing a drink. In the next semester, a few people moved out and we got some new blood. This second semester I definitely felt better adjusted to my newer surroundings and was quite happy to be there.

   In the fall 1995 semester, Scott, our friend Rob, and I moved into the on-campus apartments. The difference between dorm and on-campus apartment was that you got your own food and a kitchen, but no dining hall access. Down the hall from us were our friends Karen and Kimberly from the previous year. We had a 4th roommate in our apartment in the form of a guy suffering from Tourette's. I probably could have been nicer or at least civil to the guy, but I had anger issues regarding my parents' divorce and he lit my fuse more than he should have. All of us shared a nice 2 semesters together. In that second semester in the apartment, we made a camcorder movie, which ended up being fun but I no longer have the tape sad to say.

   In the summer of 1996, Scott and I got an OFF-campus apartment, one we actually had to pay rent for. It was pretty convenient to school via bike or car (on nice days I biked there), and close to Rohnert Park and Cotati stores for convenience sake. Also that summer, I had a job as a painter (or REpainter) of the dorm interiors. That was a cool gig. Rob joined us for the fall as he still had 2 classes to take but by Christmas he was back to southern Cal.

   In May of 1997, Scott and I graduated. It was sort of a sad time as I was closing a chapter of a positive period in life. The next month, we moved to a family(Scott's family that is)owned apartment in Santa Rosa in the Rincon Valley area. I liked that location a lot, but we got an even better gig 8 months later when we moved to another family-owned place close-by for RENT FREE...in exchange for us taking Scott's grandma June wherever she needed to go. As I was more sporadically employed with either temp jobs or substitute teaching during this period, I was the one who more often did this, and it was a pleasure. June and I had already become good friends in all the times Scott and I went to her house to do laundry the past 3 years.

   In early 2000, I went back to Sonoma State for the classes to get a teaching credential and graduated in mid 2001. Once again I met some good people, but most good people tend to be fleeting when the time is up. This was no exception. I did maintain a friendship with my classmate Jacqueline up until I moved to Las Vegas.

   In the realm of social (dating) life, I was still not what many would consider in the stud category and this was evident when trying to get a dating life going in AND out of college. During my bachelor degree-seeking years, I was interested in Kimberly and a frequent classmate named Sarah, but alas no romantic sparks with either (though my friendship with Kimberly has been renewed in recent years when she moved to Las Vegas). Out of college, it took a while but I had an on again/off again relationship with another Sarah, a Chinese girl, for about 2 years, as well as with a girl named Jody for 2 brief spells in 2000 and 2002. The dating waters had definitely gotten warmer, but it wasn't hot until Las Vegas...well at least a more constant SIMMER there!

   Besides going on drives and trips with Scott, I took frequent drives by myself. My favorite drive was a nighttime jaunt to Goat Rock State Beach. On clear nights, you could see tons of stars in the sky...on cool nights that was a personally satisfying feeling. 

   Toward the end of my time in northern California, Scott's grandma June had a bad fall and she had to move to a sort of nursing residence. Scott and I moved into her house to keep an eye on things. That year between graduating from the teaching program and moving to Las Vegas was probably my most restless time, and it was certainly a period of depression. After getting a swift kick in the ass from my own grandma, I proceeded to get on finding teaching jobs and interviews and what not. It was a long frustrating period...one trip even involved a car accident...until I interviewed in Fresno for the Vegas job. Once I got the YOU'RE HIRED packet in the mail, my whole demeanor changed and I had a light at the end of the proverbial tunnel.

   All in all, I could live these 8 years over again in a heartbeat, maybe change one or two things...but then again, life's direction has a purpose, so one must have some faith in the course of nature...or say FUCK IT. One's choice.

Southern California Here I Come...and Long Gone! (California Time Part 1)

    As I drove my new Corolla down Cajon Pass last week, I wondered if I'd reach San Diego alive! It was only Tuesday and things were backing up already! Not that I'd expect any less, the Cajon pass is a mess of cars and trucks either braking down a long decline or trying to race through the maze of vehicles at all times! However, as I continued into Rancho Cucamonga and northern Riverside County past several major freeway interchanges, I was almost frozen with panic as cars weaved irresponsibly without signal through the lanes to get to...wherever...my guess would be the theme compounds in Orange County, since after Corona, the stress level eased considerably, and the drive into San Diego County was relatively stressless.

   It wasn't always this bad, at least traffic-wise.

   In 1992, my parents moved from Reading, Pennsylvania to San Diego, California. I was still in college at the time, pushing somewhat weakly through my classes at West Virginia University. I was definitely a small fish in a big pond then, and was realizing that maybe I'd made a mistake in my college selection. I was about to find out that the small fish feeling was to remain for a bit longer.

   During Spring Break, I took a plane trip to spend time in my future new surroundings. I had never been to San Diego before then, but I'd seen San Francisco, Los Angeles, and Yosemite, so I was excited for something new. When I arrived in the evening, I noticed that the airport was very close to downtown. That downtown twinkled pleasantly at night and made me feel welcome.

   At that point, my parents had not yet moved to the house on Carmel Ridge Road, they were renting an apartment on El Cajon Blvd near the La Mesa city limit. I was really glad to see our old Scottish terrier Mac waiting for us, though he had to have a muzzle in the apartment while we were gone. During that week, we went to see a show at the Improv with my Aunt Terry, saw the new house, drove all around the area, and saw a movie or two. My dad was working on the regular days, so my mom and I hung out most of that time, though we were all together for dinners. 

   My initial impression of San Diego was positive for the most part, and since I wasn't really enjoying college life (and my GPA reflected that more or less), I opened my mind to it. My one big sadness was not seeing any of my old buddies in Pennsylvania anymore. Apart from my aunt, cousin, and parents, I had nobody else in San Diego...at least not yet.

   In early May, I took off permanently for San Diego. My dad picked me up at the airport, and my mom had my favorite dinner (chicken, mashed potatoes, corn, and cranberry sauce) ready at the new house. All my stuff was set up in my new room. The only thing I had to do was adjust. That weekend we went out to celebrate Mother's Day at a nice restaurant, and in that month, my dad and I enjoyed the final Johnny Carson show together. Well, that was May.

   The summer was spent somewhat well, with my mom and I taking extension courses at UCSD...she went for paralegal and I went for screenwriting. Nothing ever came of either, but I did get to practice a new craft and it got me writing a bit more. Apart from that, I had no wheels, so my mom or dad had to cart me around. It wasn't all that fun and mostly I was staying up late and sleeping in late.

   In the fall I took some really dis-spiriting jobs as a vacuum salesperson, product demonstrater at Price Club (later Costco), and advertising flyer deliverer in Rancho Bernardo. The vacuum gig, failed as it was, got me more oriented with the San Diego area, but that was about it. My cousin giving me her old Nintendo didn't really help me much. In fact, it isolated me more and it wasn't healthy.

   My Aunt Terry had gotten married (or rather remarried) to a nice Finnish guy and he and I got along great. In fact, I'd say Pekkah Taipale was probably the best friend I made in my time in San Diego. With him in town were his two sisters, a brother in law, and some other remote family members we got to know. 

   In early 1993, my mom finally found employment at a college library and my sister got married up in Ridgecrest where she was stationed in the Navy. Apart from another extension course (in Spanish) and a short term job putting together a dollar store that lasted a couple weeks, I wasn't making much social progress...or financial or anything else.

   Then came May and I had established residency...that meant getting me back to school! A new era had begun. I didn't really make permanent alliances while at Miramar College, but I was focused for the first time in a while, and I did meet some good classmates in all the semesters I was there (4 semesters total). College also meant being around females more often. That was definitely healthy!

   On school days, I would drive to campus listening to The Doors, attend a class or two, maybe head home for lunch and a nap, then go back for more. I also found a really good Chinese place for lunch in that time...the Quik Wok. It was there that I found a scrumptious garlic chicken dish that was to become my staple for a year.

   Besides a tour of college campuses in northern California and a soul-refreshing visit to Pennsylvania for New Year's, school was dominant focus and as I had chosen Sonoma State, my pursuit of good to great grades increased.  In the summer 1994 semester, I even made the dean's list!

   I seem to deviate from the San Diego topic here, but aside from school in that second year, I didn't really see much aside from our house where I did school work, wrote a bit here and there, and ate and slept, and the Miramar College campus, I didn't have much else...until I found the beach!

   It does sound strange that it took me nearly 2 years to find the jewel that San Diego really was! I don't even remember how it happened or exactly when, but one day I drove around and came upon a parking lot for Torrey Pines State Beach. It was free, so I parked, walked all the way up to Del Mar, then back. The next time, I did the same but had a beer or 2 at a local pub, then walked back. Aside form Quik Wok, I had a new pastime. Actually, I came to the beach more than I was downing garlic chicken after a while. 

   As Sonoma State approached, I did the beach a lot more. I hadn't made any permanent alliances at school, though I was sort of becoming a groupie/friend of sorts with a local metal band (one of its members was a classmate). Female pursuits hadn't really materialized, and when you're 21 and living with parents and unemployed, there's not much of a draw.

   My departure for Sonoma State pretty much ended my 2 year experience in San Diego. I did go back for holidays and visits and still do occasionally. In those ensuing years, my parents divorced and found new loves and eventual marriages...and my mom lost her second husband. 

   Our most recent visit was brief due to budget, but we stayed in Encinitas and did some beach time while visiting with my dad and stepmom in La Jolla for a few hours. I loved the time actually there, but not the travel. The new generation of drivers scares the shit out of me.

   My overall opinion of San Diego itself is positive. It's a beautiful area geographically and it has several microclimates. If you want beach, there's plenty of that. If you want mountains, visit Julian sometime and enjoy some apple pie and coffee while there. If you want desert without casinos, check out Borrego Springs. Inland San Diego where we lived is mostly residential with the necessary retail accommodations, with towns like Lemon Grove, El Cajon, La Mesa, Poway, Santee, and Escondido. My sister and her first husband lived in Escondido for a short time with their first child, and North County Fair was a half decent mall. 

   In terms of traffic, it wasn't bad 30 years ago, but since then, I 5 and I 15 are hell in a handbasket!

   As to my personal memories, they are of loneliness and depression in those 2 years, though less so in year two. Having a variety of connections is key.

Las Vegas: The Land of New Beginnings...Over and Over!

    In the summer of 1988, our family was on a southern California vacation, and my dad decided to take us to Las Vegas in the middle of it. What I remember of that desert drive is the lonely long stretches on Interstate 15 after we left the Victorville area. There were Barstow, Yermo, and Baker of course, but in between were vast stretches of gold and brown loneliness. Las Vegas, of course, was a true desert jewel! Lots of dazzling lights, not many skyscrapers then, many restaurants, and the promise of entertainment at every facility. There were NO promises of riches, only fun and food...which a 15 year old like me enjoyed, even if it was just at the Sahara Hotel pool. One place I remember looking for was the Riviera Hotel as the final season of The Hollywood Squares (1980-81) had been produced there(that's where my mind was then, TV land and roads!).

   We didn't stay long. The next day, we took a drive to Hoover Dam so my dad could see all the engineering marvel of it. I wasn't all that interested in that part, though the view from the bottom was pretty neat.  After the tour, we headed back to the the megalopolis that was Los Angeles.

   Who knew or could have even guessed that I would be living there in 14 years?

   Before Las Vegas, I had been living in Sonoma County, California, mostly in Santa Rosa, for 8 years. When I learned that the Clark County School District had hired me, I was thrilled, but also had a LOT of preparing to do, mostly mental preparation....getting ready to live in a new place in a new town alone was going to take some doing. I was 29 and hadn't really lived alone at that point. My somewhat strange psych-up was watching the 2001 remake of Ocean's 11 many many times. CSI didn't really excite me for the move as well, but there were fun stories on it. 

   In July of 2002, my mom and I traveled to Las Vegas to see my new workplace, Tom Williams Elementary School, and got myself an apartment near Nellis AFB, which wasn't too far from the school at all. It was a hot, humid July weekend, and we had driven in on a stormy Friday night. We stayed at Circus Circus, a pretty decent place actually, for 2 nights. My overall impression was...undecided. I got living quarters taken care of for sure, but a weekend in Vegas with my mom didn't give a reality hint at all...but that was soon to come.

   Three weeks later, my dad and I arrived at the Nellis Oasis Apartments in the early afternoon of August 2, 2002. We had left Santa Rosa at about 2:30 a.m. and were already zonked from the 11 hour drive. After some time in a nice air-conditioned office signing papers and giving the Oasis people money, we spent a hot few hours unloading my car and his rental truck.

   Unlike the trip with my mom, I had a much different feeling about this one. This was permanent. I had said farewell to my just-one-year-short-of-a-common-law-marriage roommate Scott the previous night. All my stuff was packed up. Apart from Scott, I hadn't really made any firm connections in Sonoma County. temp jobs and substitute teaching made daily money but were lonely jobs in nature. Dating had been pretty slim and unfulfilling, too. 

   After we finished unpacking, my dad and I went in search of some good food and perhaps a beer. Las Vegas Boulevard in North Las Vegas did not have attractive selections, most looked seedy or just plain fast food. We went further down and finally saw an attractive sign: Tony Roma's at the Stardust! We were there, dude! A couple beers and some ribs and we were ourselves again. Back at my new apartment, Dad just sacked out on the floor as I slept in my bed. The next morning he was up before dawn, wrote me a check to get some basic supplies, and he was gone. I never saw or heard him go.

   I think that's important to note because when I did wake up, I was truly on my own for the first time in my life! It was an exciting feeling...a scary one at that! It was just me and my stuff and there was some organizing to do for sure, but the first order of business was breakfast and a plan for the day.

   After filling up at a nearby Chevron for $1.43 (yay 2002 prices!) I asked the clerk for a tip on good breakfast. He recommended the Blueberry Hill on Las Vegas Blvd. across form the base. I went there, loved it, and ended up eating there every Saturday for the next 4 years. After that, I found the Wal Mart close by and did a little stocking up of food and cleaning supplies. That Nellis Wal Mart would be a main store for me for the next few years. Sadly it closed a few years after moving to a new neighborhood. The crime had gotten pretty bad around there.

   The rest of that day was spent organizing the living room and dining room areas, mostly my videos. It was all VHS at that point, I had not yet acquired a DVD player at that point. The next day, I wanted to explore a bit more. A movie sounded good. After looking at the newspaper listings, I decided on Austin Powers:Goldmember, playing at the Regal Theatres at Texas Station. In Vegas terms (as I would soon learn), it wasn't that far away.  

   Texas Station itself would be a main movie venue for me in the years to come. They had a good food court, the theatre itself was pretty big, I occasionally enjoyed some slot play, and there was a good basement level bowling alley. The buffet also was enjoyable. Overall, there was a basic hominess, aside from the constant cigarette smoke, in the place. Until COVID hit, it was a pretty regular place for me and Vickie.

   As time went on, I saw many changes to the Strip. The Riviera, Sahara, and Stardust all eventually went away, as did the "family-friendly" theme that Vegas was dabbling with before I arrived. Seriously, when people on the main drag are giving out hooker flyers near a family-themed venue, the reality sets in, and the fantasy fades away in a blink.

  As I got comfy in my new workplace, I continued to explore my new city and the surrounding desert. I took a drive one weekend around the Lake Mead area, winding up at Logandale and Overton before meeting I 15 and heading back. Another day I went to Mt Charleston and had a drink and snack at the Lodge, which would become a regular destination to get relief from the summer heat as well as an eventual Christmas Eve mecca for me and Vickie. Sadly the lodge burned down last year...that sadness remains with me to this day and I remain hopeful for a new place to premiere before I die.

   I also took a drive to Pahrump one day. I had heard about it from a few people. Pahrump is in neighboring Nye County, and has been known as a legal brothel town. Of course, as time has passed, more families have moved there for more economical living conditions and the brothel life has taken more of a back seat, though they still do exist. I wasn't particularly impressed by the town, but state highway 160 had some scenery as it looped back to U.S. 95 30 miles to the northwest.

   On Friday nights when I was unaccompanied (which were several in the early months), I would sometimes go to the Red Lobster on Decatur, enjoy a meal at the bar, then maybe cruise to the Stratosphere and ride to the top to enjoy Vegas from high up.

   One of my favorite nerdy activities was going to Best Buy at Best of the West on Lake Mead and stocking up on music, movies, and TV show full series on DVD...once I bought the DVD player, I went disc-wild! Probably a bit too much at times, but that's where I was in life.

   In the course of three years, I had many dates though most were one-shots. There were some regulars, some semi-regulars, but I didn't find happiness until I found Vickie in early 2006. At 5'5 and somewhat round in the middle, I was not Captain Stud and did not get to enjoy the empty high-life of constant 1-night stands, clubbing, and buying expensive meals and drinks in hopes of achieving those brief carnal experiences. Somehow, though, I think being me helped to avoid trouble and disease.

   As with any new experience and location, like a penny, time does a lot to dull the shine. New casino hotels replaced the old, new ugly residence towers shot up quickly, and although the Las Vegas Strip is a beautiful gem in the night, in the daytime it is an ugly-looking city. Now, I say that as a RESIDENT WHO DOES NOT LIVE ON THE STRIP! Most residents live nowhere NEAR the Strip, in fact. Most of us live in residential neighborhoods consisting of houses or apartment complexes, with local retail venues supplying our daily needs. Yet on the Strip, especially on weekends (though weekdays are getting just as bad), people come from all over, mostly southern California, on Fridays, get in all their jollies at night, sleep hung over in the daytime, and resume their vampire status later in the day, then go home on either Sunday or Monday if they called in sick. I learned early on to NEVER go to visit my California family on a Sunday, I-15 doesn't handle it well.

   Despite the healthy distance from The Strip, The Strip itself dominates the landscape from almost all angles, almost a reminder of why we as residents get to enjoy BEING residents in the first place.

   As for teaching, I will begin my 21st year in the CCSD soon. I am at my third and favorite school and still enjoy what I do...I just don't always enjoy who I do it for and I don't mean the kids.

   It is not a city for everyone. Early in my teaching career, my school district would hire a few thousand new teachers every year...and often within months, those new hires would run away for their own reasons. Sometimes they realized who they were working for and escaped with their souls, but I suspect most left because Las Vegas is not a place that supports weak constitutions. If you want your green lawn and well-landscaped parks, it's not for you. If you like only occasionally hot summer days, then Vegas is definitely not for you! All that said, I have met many a Las Vegas native and they couldn't live anywhere else, it is home to them. They have a particular angle on Vegas living, and like newbie residents they know where to go to get what they need and want. 

   Las Vegas, like other cities, is what you make of it for yourself. While many are gambling or enjoying the Forum Shops at Caesar's Palace, there are many also getting hardware at Home Depot or Lowe's, or eating at their favorite fast food joint, or bowling, or eating, or just stating home to enjoy the AC. I have been here for 20 years now, and while I can happily say I am a 4-year homeowner, I cannot see myself living here at 70 years old. The water emergency is real, and idiots keep building more and more and don't see the big picture. I see more new beginnings for me down the road, but for the time being, I remain.

   Happy 20 years to me living here!

Once Upon A Western Dreary

    I don't know about you, but I have always had a fascination for the westerns in cinema. They have taken many forms over several decades, but didn't really stray from a certain formula until the 1960s.

   Some basic plots of a western:

a) cowboys vs "Indians", a plot device that has thankfully been disposed of decades ago due to the oversimplification of the hero cowboys and the sometimes good, sometimes "evil" "Indians".

b) evil bandits/hired thugs threaten the sheriff or marshall to get out of town, leading up to a showdown

c) a wagon train encounters troubles on its journey west for a new life

   Lots of combinations of these basic ideas were used over and over between the 1920s and the 1950s, some employing the use of singing cowboys in the form of Gene Autry, who found later success singing about reindeer, and Roy Rogers. In fact the basic formulas worked well in the beginning as they were cheap to produce and theaters were cheap to get into during the Depression and World War 2. Along with the wacky antics of the 3 Stooges, Marx Brothers, and Laurel &Hardy, westerns served to cheer up an otherwise worried and depressed nation.

   When television was turning into a real thing that was here to stay, western TV shows such as "Gunsmoke" and "The Lone Ranger" jumped from radio to the small screen along with countless others and were a major staple of 1950s television. 

   I will say this for "Gunsmoke": it grayed the lines between the good guys and the bad guys fairly often as the show approached its last years. "Bonanza" did that occasionally, but not as successfully.

   Here's the thing, though. Westerns were put out for pure ENTERTAINMENT. They weren't meant to be a moral lesson. You watched the good guys shoot the bad guys with no real special effects blood spewing out, and you couldn't wait to catch the next movie where the same actors playing villains would get shot again. Nobody took those movies or early TV shows seriously.

   I am still amused by a later Brady Bunch episode where Bobby idolizes Jesse James. It amuses me because he's old enough to have a clue if he did any real reading, and as there was no social media or even internet to conveniently skew facts a la Alex Jones, the episode is ludicrous...but then the whole series is really if one watches it on MeTV on the weekends. But I digress...

   Let's come to the mid 1960s where an Italian filmmaker named Sergio Leone decided to take this oversimplified good guy vs bad guy genre and give it a rotini twist. He created a character generally known as 'the man with no name', played by Clint Eastwood, one of 3 American actors Leone used for a classic trilogy of films: A Fistful of Dollars, For a Few Dollars More, and The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly. Eastwood's character was not so much a hero, but rather the classic definition of an anti-hero: a character you know is the protagonist, but can be brutal, opportunistic, and plain old selfish...a far cry from your typical John Wayne flick. Leone made another western later called Once Upon a Time in the West in 1968, a movie featuring more American actors. I just caught this one today and found myself laughing whenever Jason Robards spoke since he was the best character, much like Tuco in Good/Bad/Ugly. Henry Fonda played the villain while Charles Bronson played a quiet hero (in other words, Bronson playing Bronson).

   Clint Eastwood would go on to not only star in but also direct other movies which included westerns. He continued in the rotini twist of the classic formula often, most notably in High Plains Drifter (1973) and The Outlaw Josey Wales (1976). In Drifter, he is a vengeful spirit who is sometimes hard to like but then so are the townfolk who betrayed his former human self, so there is a balance. In Wales, one gets a rare favorable view of the Confederacy and the cruelty of the Union in post-Civil War America.

   Sam Peckinpah really put on the violent edge on the western genre with his films, particularly The Wild Bunch and Pat Garrett & Billy the Kid. The lines of good and bad really blur in the latter. In fact, there is that sense in more modern crime films, not just westerns, that one does not necessarily want to know all that the side of justice does to nail or destroy the evil-doers in the world, and that line between right and wrong gets more and more blurred with each new take. 

   And with each new take we see more blood and gratuitous violence because, well, in many ways that's how things really happened. The west was a violent place for a long time with fights for land, power, and money...often all three. If we keep burying our heads in the sand a pretend it was all for the good of the nation, we haven't learned much about human nature in the past almost 200 years, and are likely doomed to  dreary rehashings of violent history over and over.

Blast to My Past

    I've had it. I can't take it anymore. Once and for all, I am going to leave this ghastly place leaving others to fend for themselves in this modern hell!

   What? No! I am not going to take my own life. Rather, I will take my life out of 2022 and go back to another time, a time where I could relate to what was happening. That's right, I am going to back to my birth year of 1972! 

    I just have to work out the details of getting there. I don't have a plutonium-powered DeLorean or a spaceship that can slingshot around the sun. If anyone has access to an inter-dimensional wormhole, text me.

   That little technicality aside, let's answer the big WHY aspect of this. The HOW is already unlikely enough, so I might as well go into my reasons and philosophy.

   Basically, the world is fucked right now, most of all America. I am 49 years old and have seen a gradual downfall of morals, politics, and media...sadly they feed on each other constantly and have grown into a satanic blob pitting the citizens against each other, even family members, over little things that should be laughed off.

   However, people aren't laughing anymore, not like they used to. Everyone takes everything so damn seriously now. It has become so angry and hostile...and violent.

   The pandemic alone has altered or destroyed so many lives. I didn't escape unscathed. Two years of wearing masks did a number on me and I am still recovering. Others died, went crazy, The sadness of it was that COVID became a political and social weapon, not a medical issue.

   Now let's go to politics. In my life I have seen several U.S. Presidents, almost all of them middle aged to old white guys, which was the norm for most of U.S. history with a few exceptions. Then a Black guy was elected...twice! After his time was done, we as a nation put in another entertainer of sorts. We already enjoyed one in Reagan, so why not another? This time we installed a combo of Don Rickles and Morton Downey Jr in terms of subtlety. This in itself wasn't the bad part, for we tried to convince ourselves that a non-political entity in there would help shake things up. Oh, Mr. Trump shook them all right! He shook them to the point of being impeached twice and trying illegally to hold onto his oval office. And people want him back. 

   Russia was once our enemy...now we have "leaders" who glorify and defend the actions of a former KGB agent, current president.

   On the flip side of the political coin, there is such a large movement on many sides trying to control what people can watch on TV and what people can and cannot say. That to me defies core principles in our Constitution. 

   That's politics...let's go to the media. I used to trust the news. People came on the air, told you the happenings, and left you to ponder the importance of it all in regard to you, your family and friends, and society in general. Now there are a bunch of assholes on several stations that TELL you WHAT may or may not be true, tell you WHAT to think of it all, and TELL you WHO is to blame. On top of that, there is social media online where ordinary citizens post a lot of bullshit "news" and personal views...I've seen friendships and family relations dissolve on social media over the past 6 or 7 years.

   And now let's go to the morals. I'm not sure where they went for many people. I have gone to church many times in my life and felt a personal relationship with God form and develop. I enjoy this relationship to this day, and have a good idea when I have strayed and needed to get back on the right track. I am not seeing a lot of that these days. I see churches get over-involved with politics, even going to the point of saying if you don't believe in our President, you don't believe in God.  I have read about church leaders committing sexual atrocities on children that would get most people sent to prison...many of these people just get sent to a different town like they were in Witness Protection! We have political "leaders" (as opposed to modest servants of the People) do the bidding of rich fuckers so they can stay in office and continue "representing" the People. This is why medical care is so expensive, why education suffers, why homes cost so much. 

   As for myself, I have tried to be the best family man I can, be the best teacher I can me, and be the best me that I can muster...on my current track, I do not see things improving. I will always be carrying burdensome debt, always dealing with some crisis, always wondering when things will get better.

   I am tired of wondering. Tired of dealing. Tired of carrying. Tired of watching the world burn.

   But why 1972?

   Simply, it seems to be a year of good music, better vibes, a clearer idea of what was right and wrong. 

   There certainly was no Internet. If you wanted to find something out, you had to do some actual research by going to a library and looking it up...or look in an encyclopedia. By doing this you found information without getting a free opinion.

   People were outside more. Play structures in parks were more fun for kids. 

   In 1972 if you went to a store in your pajamas, they'd likely kick you out.

   TV didn't have disclaimers for their shows...you watched or you didn't. Most markets had only a few channels, no massive cable packages with a lot of useless channels and shows. Most stations were off the air late at night. No 24/7 outlets. Some radio stations were like this as well.

   As there were no online distractions, families spent more time together (for better or for worse) talking or playing games.

   Schools had a curriculum to teach, not standards...school lunches were made at school, not prepackaged.

   Our enemy was communism and the USSR. Simple.

   Was it perfect? Absolutely not. Vietnam was still a bone of contention. Watergate was about to put trust of the government to the test. People still had problems. Different ones for many.

   Still, I could go back with a decent sum of money and live out my remaining days. I could then see what happened with a more mature pair of eyes and not glorify those events.

   I'd just have to watch out for who I bump into. A small price.

   I can dream, can't I? Dreams are what make things possible...and more acceptable.

The Thrilling Days of Yestercable

    If you're like me (and the Geneva Convention strictly prohibits such sins!) and grew up in the last quarter of the 20th Century (which Millenials are trying to outlaw), you are probably aware of the great technological accomplishments of that era, particularly in the realm of chia pets!

   And how did we learn about the chia pet? I mean, aside from the person down the street conned into buying one the same way some schnook gets a My Pillow now, That's right, it was good old cable TV! Cable is, or rather USED TO BE, a marvelous invention with a very important aim...to make us grateful for more Diff'rent Strokes seasons after being subjected to the horrors of local access shows!

    No, don't be ridiculous, that show was useless right after the Bicycle Man 2-parter starring Mr. Carlson. Seriously, the original purpose of cable was to bring TV signals to homes in rural areas or at least semi-rural areas.

   Of course, many didn't want to pay for cable and instead opted for a huge aerial outside their house and connected to the TV.  When I was really little and we lived in Michigan, we had one that easily got the Detroit stations whose transmitters were only 20 miles away. However, when we moved to Pennsylvania in 1976, we lived in an area where any station was at least 35 or more miles away. In fact, we had 2 choices: aim the aerial to the west and get the Susquehanna Valley stations or aim to the southeast and get the Philadelphia stations...my dad chose the Philly suite, probably the better choice. Most of the stations came in well except for one of the independents.

   A few years later, we moved to Wilmington, North Carolina. NOW it was time to get cable as there were only 3 stations in town: ABC, NBC, and PBS. I distinctly remember when the cable truck pulled up in late June of 1979...it was plastered on both sides with an advertisement for WTCG Channel 17 in Atlanta...it was named a Superstation. At 6 years old I wondered what that even meant. Well, it turned out to be one of 2 independent sitcom/cartoon stations we'd get. Our CBS came out of Durham, and we got a couple other networks from other eastern NC towns. At one point, someone hooked up a wire to the TV and got us an illegal (I assume) connection to HBO. That was pretty cool! I remember seeing Grease for the first time there.

    Well, the South was a fairly short experience, lasting only 16 months. We ended up moving back to PA in the fall of 1980, and THIS time we got cable. All Philly stations came in along with a few Susquehanna Valley stations and a couple up in the Scranton and Allentown areas. A couple of years later, our service, Berkscable, got a new station called USA! It was its own network, airing a lot of older shows, including my beloved The Edge of Night starting in late 1985! I also caught the old Dragnet on this channel.  Also in 1983 we got a decoder box in order to have a local HBO-type station called PRISM which aired movies, sports and, late weekend nights, soft-core porn...or so I heard wink wink! Yeah ok...teenager me turning that opportunity down? Let's move on.

   In 1986, Berkscable got a MAJOR revamping: cable boxes! Suddenly we had 60 channels instead of just 12...of course we didn't watch all of them. Still, we not only had USA, we had ESPN, Nickelodeon, A&E, BET, MTV, VH1, Discovery, HSN, CNN, Weather Channel, Cinemax, TNN, and a few other channels to sort through. A year later we also got WTBS (previously WTCG) which was later just TBS, and even later TNT.

   Later in the 90s we got some other channels like Cartoon Network, Science Fiction (later just lazily Syfy), FX, Game Show Network (later lazily just GSN) and TV Land. I liked TV Land for a while because they aired a lot of classic shows and some classic commercials. By the mid 2000s it had gained too many ads and cut their shows more. As Cartoon Network began airing more original shows, it spawned its own offshoot Boomerang which eventually became like its mother.

   On top of all this were various incarnations of HBO, Cinemax, Movie Channel, Showtime, Starz, and Encore...most of which required an added subscription. Then there were tons of shopping channels as well. Long ads called infomercials replaced the test patterns on broadcast stations. Pretty soon, a lot of cable channels began running long marathons of the same damn show, inspiring the current trend of streaming show binge-watching.

   And with the growing number of cable channels out there, cable package prices got astronomically ridiculous, even just for basic, due to all the licensing fees either the channel or cable provider charged each other. It wasn't that way back in the good ol 20th century, even early 21st. We had Cox for quite some time, then when DirecTV made a deal with AT&T, we switched. It was ok for a time, but then in 2019, DirecTV couldn't reach an agreement with the company that owned our CBS station. That pretty much cut it for me. In the fall we dropped DirecTV (but not without a hefty early termination penalty that we recently finished off) and just used an antenna for regular channels plus their digital offshoots which carry any combination of classics depending on the day's signal strength. Plus a friend gave us one of her spare Fire Sticks, so we also stream with some selected services.

   What I have noticed, however, is the new tricky nature of streaming services, charging rental fees instead of just making all their shows and movies free...Amazon is guilty of this! Plus, other smaller streaming companies offer their own bundles of channels once attainable only through cable. Translation: they saw cable dropping in popularity and needed to find a way to make money.

   All in all, I miss the old days...don't we all? Progress is not always good. In fact, progress in terms of TV viewing has created a system, an ENABLING system if you will, of making us feel ok to just sit and veg on a show all damn day, whereas when I was more youthful, I knew what was on and when, and did other things during those times. If I sit for a binge-watch now, I fall asleep around episode 2! None of the shows are what I'd label RIVETING.

They don't even try to sell me a chia pet!