Sometimes things should end. Gracefully. With dignity. Just float away without ceremony.
Like the McLean Burger.
Disco
The Virtual Boy
Bell bottoms
The New Coke
Pauly Shore
Not so with Batman.
It started out so well, starting a national phenomenon with the spirit of the mid 1960s that could not be matched by anyone with maybe the exception of the Beatles.
You could only hear the Riddler's giggle, Joker's laugh, Penguin's cackle, and Catwoman's purr so many times! Add to that Robin's litany of "Holy---, Batman!, ad hoc Bat inventions, and so on. Add to that the 2-night commitment to watch both parts of the week's story.
And yet the show was not ready to die just yet. Well, maybe the show was, but the producers weren't.
In the spirit of, "Let's try this, Beavis", they huddled over what I can only assume was a buffet of cocktails to prop up the show more.
First move: cut the show to just Thursday.
Add in Batgirl.
Wait, we can afford her? Sure we can because Madge Blake is getting too ill to play Aunt Harriet.
And now Alfred will have yet another secret to hold, making his therapist richer.
The Batgirl concept was actully alluded to in the final week of season 2, where Commissioner Gordon mentions his daughter Barbara is coming home.
Yes, Barbara Gordon apparently was infatuated with Batman enough to want to be like him. In the episodes, Batgirl and Robin had some cute moments, as did Barbars Gordon and Bruce Wayne. There seemed to be a romantic air between them when they were alone.
They came up with a Batgirl theme, even played with lyrics a couple of times.
However, the formula now seemed even more broken because if there was a 2-part story, the viewer had to wait a week. However, most stories were a 1 episode package.
Julie Newmar was off doing other projects, so Catwoman was recast with singer Eartha Kitt. Whatever flirtatious sexual byplay was going on between Catwoman and Batman was completely gone. Hey, Batgirl was there, so who needs Catwoman?
Frank Gorshin made one appearance as the Riddler, an ok episode, and the scene of him and Batman in the boxing ring was pretty funny.
Cesar Romero and Burgess Meredith stayed faithful and each made four episodes. The Joker and Batman on a surfboard episode was probably that season's best, and yes it was pretty funny. The Penguin started the season by kidnapping Barbara Gordon and trying to force her to marry him...and then we find out she's Batgirl. Penguin's pairing with Lola Lasagne (Ethel Merman) was fairly dumb and did not need to be a 2 parter.
Cliff Robertson as Shame came back for a two parter that was not too bad, actually better than his season two story.
Vincent Price as Egghead came back but was always paired with Anne Baxter who was now playing Olga, Queen of the Cossacks, completely a campy character and she looked like she had a lot more fun here than as Zelda. They gave a one parter and a two parter.
Victor Buono came back for two 1 parters as King Tut. He was fun but definitely played for the silliness now. It fit the season so well anyway with its faster pacing.
Of course, we were introduced to a few new villains along the way.
Milton Berle made two 1 parters as Louie the Lilac, a flower-obsessed gangster type. Silly, made for kids. As an adult I find these two episodes pretty dumb. Then again, I never found Uncle Miltie that funny but it might be a Gen X thing.
Joan Collins, long before Dynasty, made an appearance as the Siren, whose high-pitched tone made men obey her...though females like Batgirl were immune. A 1 episode story, very silly, and forgettable.
There was a 3-parter in this season as well, and for the life of me I cannot piece together why aside from a lack of good ideas. The villains were singer Rudy Vallee as Lord Marmaduke Ffogg and Glynis Johns as Lady Penelope Peasoup. The concept was that the Euopean city of Londinium had a string of robberies that their incompetent police commissioner could not solve, so EVERYONE TAKES A CRUISE TO LONDINIUM, AND I MEAN EVERYONE INCLUDING GORDON AND O'HARA! Ludicrous right? Add to that a special Batcave being built for Batman when he arrived. And this travesty went for 3 weeks!
Next we have a curveball on women's liberation. Feminist icon Nora Clavicle (played by Barbara Rush) effectively gets rid of (fires) Commissioner Gordon and installs women in key postions and herself as police commissioner. Of course, this plot is entirely criminal: takes out a ten million dollar insrance policy on the city and plans to destroy the city with mechanical mouse bombs. The Dynamic Trio play Pied Pipers and flute the mice to the waterfront to explode in the river.
Now, this next one is actually up there with Joker's surfing gag. Ida Lupino and her husband Howard Duff star as Dr. Cassandra Spellcraft and Cabala, respectively. Cassandra is an alchemist who has a pill to make anyone including herself and Cabala, invisible. When they do a count down, they do it rhythmically and Cabala snaps to the rhythm, making them fairly endearing. They also flatten the Dynamic Trio into 2 dimensional carbooard cutouts and then break, get this, Riddler, Joker, Penguin, Catwoman, Egghead, and King Tut (stunt doubles, not their usual players) out of jail. In the final fight, the trio are pummeled by the invisible villains but then turn out the lights to make the odds a bit more even.
Finally we have a weak story, very much like the Siren episode. Zsa Zsa Gabor as Minerva, a spa owner who has a machine (disguised as a special massage) that gets rich men's rich secrets out of their heads, making Minerva rich. Guest starring as a henchman here is William Smith as Adonis...before he became a high profile performer in TV and movies, usually as a tough villain.
And that wraps this strange season up. Now, it was not all bad as I've indicated. The fight scene onomatopoeia was brighter and flashier this season, and each story end revealed who the villain would be in the next story. After this season, ABC canceled the series, but NBC expressed interest in taking over. However, the Batcave set had already ben demolished, so NBC said, screw it!
I do own the entire series on DVD, for the entirety has its sense of fun and nostalgia, even season 3. When it aired on the local indie in Philadelphia every summer, it would play two sequential stories Monday through Thursday and a 1-episode Batgirl story on Friday.
When the series began airing on cable (The Family Channel for a couple of years and then FX), there were notable episode cuts to make for ad time. MeTV restored full episodes later on.
Whether it's one of my favorite stories or not so favorite, I will always enjoy a Batman episode, just part of my life!
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