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Sunday, July 9, 2023

Only in America

 Only in America would you need a warning sign to open a pizza box befoire eating the pizza.

Only in America would its national cheese actually be a highly processed 'amalgam' of cheese as opposed to cheese itself.

Only in America would an individual turkey be pardoned and be allowed to live through Thanksgiving.

Only in America would there be a popular sport like pro wrestling that's totally staged.

Only in America would stores need to lock up laundry pods so idiots won't steal and eat them.

Only in America would a deep fried piece of chicken doused in an overly sweet orange sauce be marketed as being Chinese.

Only in America would a 'reality' TV show making polygamous families seem acceptable to be produced.

Only in America would the medical inudstry recommend drugs and treatment and diets that could potentially worsen the health or kill the patients outright.

Only in America...nanny cams!

Only in America would we use an antiquated measurement system that the rest of the world, even ENGLAND, abandoned.

Only in America would you owe money most of your adult life for your schooling?

Only in America are taxes not included in store and restaurant item prices.

Only in America is sex and violence acceptable in media, but the cuss words are bleeped or replaced.

Only in America is tipping a major thing, and I don't mean cows.

Only in America do restaurant servers hover and do well-checks.

Only in America are college sports a big deal.

Only in America are drugs directly marketed on TV to consumers...with numberous warnings.

Only in America is white bread a thing.

Only in America does a bloodthirsty retail event directly follow a (meant to be) wholesome family gathering within a 12 hour period!

Only in America is supersizing a meal a thing.

Only Americans seek out their own cuisine when traveling abroad.

Only in America do people salivate over a pumpkin flavored espresso drink...a month before pumpkins are widely harvested.

Only in America are free refills in existence.

Only in America are 24 hour restaurants commonplace.

Only in America do obviously older people get carded for alcohol.

Only in America are superstores (Costco, Sam's Club, Wal Mart) in existence.

Only in America do we have lawyers who mass advertise.

Only in America are ice and AC so frequently used.

Only in America do people pledge loyalty to the national flag in schools.

Only in America will you see people shopping in their PJs...I think we need a law on this.

Only in America are wide public bathroom door gaps...another one that needs revamping.

And only in America would you find a moron like me who actually take the time to type all this and share for possible ridicule.


Please don't take all this as anti-American, for other nations have their own weirdnesses and take them as normal daily life. I love America, have been American all my 50 1/2 years.








Tuesday, July 4, 2023

Mall Bearers

    Just picture it...walking down a path just minding your own business, as several hairy ghouls spekaing in demonic tongues try to get your attention, and at all sides of you are members of several satanic cults demanding you give money to them...only this week everything is 30% off.

   No? This doesn't paint an image you can picture? What if I threw in a food court?

   Ah I can see the elated horror on your face now. Indeed, I am referring to a shopping fare that is, in my opinion, on its last legs. And it is really a shame, for the modern American shopping mall has enjoyed several decades in the pop culture mainstream. In fact, the mall itself has been the go-to for maintaining one's status in keeping up with the ever-changing pop culture landscape, from shoes to clothes to music to toys, the mall was for a long time the go-to place for families to shop  and teens to terrorize mall security.

   Yesterday we went to the Meadows Mall to get Natalie an eye exam and order her new glasses at VisionWorks. Afterward, Natalie wanted to go walk around and check out clothing deals along with getting something to eat.  As we walked down the tiled lanes avoiding the hairy ghouls, I glanced around and saw that there were actually more open stores than the last time we were there. How long that will last, who knows?

   At one point, that mall was anchored by 4 department stores: Sears, JC Penney, Macy's and Dillards. Macy's and JC Penney are still in full operation, Dillard's is only one story, and Sears is all gone. That one made me sad, for Sears had a lot of memories for me as a kid. Meadows Mall iteself is farily small as malls go. I remember the first time I was there almost 21 years ago, I was buying some Christmas related items and couldn't get over how fast I was able to get through the whole length, top and bottom floors. The food court has gone through many changes, the only constant being the teriyaki joint all this time. 

   Oh no, the blurry vision has taken hold like an old Hall's cough drop ad and landed me in...1983! Not only that, it's 1983 in Wyomissing, Pennsylvania! Yup, I am in the Berkshire Mall! 

   To me it is kind of amazing that Berks County got this place because as regions go, that county used to pride itself on its sense of individuality and locally owned shops and eateries, and when the Berkshire Mall opened in 1976, that sense of pride in place and time was big. It wasn't until after I moved away that the meh American mainstream retail market had fully invaded the Reading area...2 examples being a strip mall with a Taco Bell where the drive in theater once was, and Chili's. Believe me, when Chili's hits your town, the bandwagon is fully loaded!

   Yes I digress, don't you know me by now? Anyway, back to Berkshire Mall in 1983, a text tour if you will. At the southwest corner was John Wanamaker's, a Philadelphia-based department store. In fact, as one drove northeast on the Warren Street Bypass, Wanamaker's was the store you saw first. On the northeast end was Sear's with its classic overpriced auto repair shop. In the middle was another Philadelphia classic department store called Pomeroy's. The store itself wasn't particularly notable, but I remember the store's name in blue neon lighting outisde at night looking pretty neat. 

   There was no food court in the modern sense, though eateries were all around. One side corridor had an Arby's, a pizza store, and a Taco Casa. Adjacent to that corridor at one point had been a 1-room movie theater which turned into a Chuck-E-Cheese  for a time. In the middle across from the Pomeroy's was a barber shop, a Radio Shack, and a pretty cool video arcade.

   Strewn throughout the mall itself was a donut place, a pretty awesome record store, a K-B Toys, Waldenbooks AND B-Dalton's...people read in those days. I think my favorite place for a few years was York Steakhouse, where we ate on many a Friday night. Many clothing and shoe stores were also interspersed, particularly a Foot Locker where I got many a pair of sneakers for years. Interestingly, Foot Locker has stayed alive all this time as a company!

   Years later, the mall went through a few changes. The upstairs in the middle was redone to accomodate a food court, Pomeroy's was replaced with the Bon Ton, and York Steakhouse went out. 

   A few miles away to the north of downtown Reading, there was another place called Fairgrounds Square Mall. It was decent, with a similar theme of shops and eateries along with a pretty good movie theater, but it didin't have the same feel as Berkshire to me. Fairgrounds Square shut down some time ago, I heard.

   When we moved to San Diego (a much larger metro area than Reading), I got to know a few malls: North County Fair in Escondido, Fashion Valley Mall, Mission Valley Mall, and Horton Plaza. My mom worked for a short time at Robinson-May in Plaza Camino Royal in Carlsbad. When I lived in Sonoma County, there was Santa Rosa Plaza and Coddingtown, though at that point I preferred the cozy local style of outdoor Montgomery Village better.

   Over time, styles and tastes change. Music stores eventually died out as the online streaming and MP3 formats came in. For a time there were stores that sold VHS and DVD movies, and to me Suncoast was the place to find all sorts of goodies during the VHS era.

  And the change that will eventually phase out malls is the online shopping. Add into that the gigantic rentals that the mall owners charge (which is why many stores go under in a short time) and before long the malls will become vacant lots rife for skating and criminal activity. I see it in so many vacant strip mall acreages all over Las Vegas as it is.

   However, I will bask in my memories of a juicy piece of chicken with fries at York, getting a current 45 record by J Geils or some other 80s group at Wall to Wall records, a glazed donut at Donuts Galore, and if I had a few quarters, play some games at Supercade.

   The memories won't go, at least until years of poor diet bring on the Alzheimer's...sort of joking, but I know reality when it hits.

   Until then, a Happy 4th, and try not to launch anything into your hand.

Sunday, July 2, 2023

Half a Life with Dried Markers and Glue!

    As I sit back and sip my iced coffee...and spill it on my shirt as a Bryan tradition, I think back on the past 25 1/2 years in the field of education...and then woder if the time spent would have been more productive in another field, such as wine grapes!

   That's not a complaint at all, for I have had many great moments in the classroom both as a licensed teacher in Nevada and a licensed substitute in California. Yet, when one reaches a point where half your life has been spent in your profession, I think it is good to take a little inventory. Speaking of which, we need more toilet paper! More on that later.

   At some point in my early adult period, I had a desire to be a journalist. That is due to having a decent journalism teacher in high school. However, as I saw the negative changes in the journalism field, I knew I'd have to take an immoral hit to character if I wanted to survive in that field...so journalism was nixed. I think it was my dad who put the teacher idea in my ear.

   Before I proceed, I will say that if I could go back, I'd take up computer science and get into the dot com industry and retire early. However, having seen a few movies that are time travel themed of late, we'll just proceed with the present course.

   Looking back on my substitute days, I will say that I was an extremely immature moron who knew nothing about what I was getting into, at first. That first year and a half could have easily broken me if I'd let it, but there's something incredibly brave and masochistic in me that presses forward despite danger signs. By the fall of 1999, I was feeling a good fit and decided to go back to school and traion for the real deal.

   Looking back on THOSE 3 semesters, I can't really put into words exactly what I learned, with the exception of covering my ass when needed. Yes, I am saying I learned more survival lessons than actual methods. It was a lot of theory, taught by professors who were so firmly entrenched in their own perceived greatness that they didn't have a decent balance. It was also northern California, so I take all that with its due thought and dump it into the proper liberal landfill. 

   Both my subbing and back to college years (1998-2002) had their successes and pitfalls, much like the 21 years I have spent as an actual teacher.

   I have written before about my good years and bad years, and I really don't like rehashing myself, I leave that for potatoes. Instead, I will look back at some offside highlights and downers...

   Speaking of toilet paper, it is best to keep a decent roll in your teacher mailbox because the school supply is 1 ply.

   It is commonly said that it is wise to make friends with the office and custodial staff. This is so true, and can result in your classroom being vacuumed more than twice a week, plus getting a new copier toner cartridge installed the same day it was requested.

   If you last in the teaching field a decent number of years, you will work for more than one principal. It is vital to bend with the breeze and learn how they want things done, from lesson plans to email communication. Take it from one who did not learn that right away.

   If you want to eat what the kids eat in the lunch room, you need a good cardiologost and psychiatrist.

   I once assumed most if not all parents were doing their job. I was a moron.

   Being a male in a female-dominated field has its pluses and minuses. The pluses are that you are assumed to possess a certain amount of strength at times and be asked to help lift or move things. The minuses are that you as a male are often left out of many female-based conversations/activities and a sense of isolation can come about at times. Well, actually, as time has gone on, that has become more of a plus. I'm nobody's girlfriend, I don't want to be anybody's girlfriend. 

   Posting on social media about your class or co-workers is perfectly fine...and long as NOBODY is your friend or follows you and the only person seeing your posts is YOU! Such passive aggressive behaviors, if they are seen, leads to social and professional isolation.

   Modern school playgrounds are lame and are built with roughly the same material that submarine was made of...luckily they are not miles underwater.

   If you stay in one position too long, you get cramps. I don't mean physically, I mean staying in one grade level. You get too set and too self-righteous...and often too jaded. I think a period of 2-3 years in one grade is plenty and then change it up, you'll stay fresh (though daily deodorant also assists here).

   Your new markers and glue could very well arrive pre-dried. Thank your parent suppliers anyway.

   What your school/school district pushes on you, just try it. It'll be gone before you get too used to it.

   And finally, let me speak about passion...like all things, passion passes. You will love your class, at, least a few kids in each class, and enjoy a few subjects more than others, but that initial fire dies after some time. Some people lose it quickly and quit, or they never really had it and either quit or languish for years or even decades in a profession they do NOT belong in. And it's ok for that fire to die, because it was what got that motor running before the politics, wage freezes, low test scores, delayed supplies, and broken HVAC systems put out the fire. Put out the FIRE, but not the love. 

   I still love what I do. I love coming early in the morning, getting coffee going and prepping for my day, however it ends up going. I love the group of adults I work with and am getting to positively know my new principal. I love that I am going back to teaching the little kids, the ones that love school. My PASSION comes and goes, and that's ok by me. Staying on a constant high is not good for the body.

   Stay hydrated.