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Saturday, February 25, 2023

My Funny Bone Seems To Be Broken

    Occasionally when I get up on work days, Vickie is still up for some reason or other (she redefines the term NIGHT OWL)  and is watching some old classic sitcom or cartoon show. Often she has on Leave It To Beaver and I'll sit with her for an episode. Incidentally, there are two types of episodes of the Beav. They either revolve around Beaver getting suckered into doing something stupid by one or more of his friends and being left holding the bag (the soup billboard being the most classic) or Wally's growing into a young adult. I personally prefer the Wally-centered shows because they most often entail Eddie Haskell, one of TV's classic naughty friends.

   My point is that many of these old classics seem to have gotten lost even in my own generation when they gained a new audience in rerun heaven/hell. Beav is an exception at times, though there are some episodes I once liked that now seem pretty dumb. This applies to mostly sitcoms, although some old westerns like Bonanza and Gunsmoke suffer a slow and painful re-airing.

   There seems to be something about the format and end product of the situation comedy that makes it more often than not the sacrificial lamb of many a new TV season, often scrapped before Christmas. Other times, a sitcom can stick around for a long time with a fairly stable if not large audience and not strike true funny bones. Often they stick a cute kid in it and make money off the less than precocious brat.

   Where the fuck did sitcoms come from?

   For those on millennial island, let me explain a little history. A hundred years ago, there was no TV...or computers or smartphones or Kardashians. Hell, even movie theatres weren't in vogue yet. Entertainment came in the form of vaudeville, a set of live comedy acts on a stage. Many of these acts were so popular that they made it to radio and occasionally to television from there. I've listened to some of these old radio comedies and while corny, they were generally well-written when they weren't throwing in cheap commercial spots within the show itself. When some of these radio shows came to television, audiences weren't quite ready for the sight of their favorite performers and the show fizzled. By the 1960s, most if not all of the radio comedies had died out.

   The trick, as far as I can see, of a successful sitcom has to be a combination of good writing and relatable characters. Beaver worked because he and Wally were like any other American older and younger brother relationship. Similar regular family situations were in Father Knows Best and The Donna Reed Show, among others, and they worked in reruns for decades after, right into the early 1990s. Soon after, we were entering a new age of digital addiction and the old entertainment norms no longer resonated with many, and the older audiences were starting to die off.

   Two examples of successful sitcoms that to me seem timeless with their successes are Barney Miller and WKRP in Cincinnati. The former works because there were just 2 parts of the set: the squad room and Barney's office. The success came with clever lines and the wacky perps who passed through. With WKRP, there was an almost surreal quality among the characters that made them so engaging. New station manager Andy Travis was frequently saying he had to get out of that place. Why? There was another layer cleverly put into that show that really showcased the Ohio-ness of the station's employees, and really any midwestern state has something unique about their people and towns. I know because eastern Pennsylvania small towns have that quality as well!

   Apart from that, there are some classics that have remained classics in my opinion, at least in terms of watchibility, and others I just can't sit through anymore. Aside from Barney, the Beav, and WKRP , let's take a look at a random sampling...

My Three Sons: How this show lasted 12 years (1960-72) boggles my mind, because the highlight character is Uncle Charley and he was only on for 7 years. The rest of it doesn't grab modern attention. Definitely as white as one can get, and the Disney touch is present. Star Fred MacMurray had a strict shooting schedule that made for a non-linear episode shooting each season. The boys had to get frequent haircuts to make those episodes look fairly sequential.

Gilligan's Island(1964-67): I once loved this show. I even bought season 2 on DVD when shows on disc were the craze. However, when watching it I just couldn't get into it. The sex appeal of Ginger and Mary Ann was not enough to sit out the inane situations anymore. To me the coolest character was the Professor, always will be.

The Brady Bunch(1969-74): Another childhood favorite...but as I have caught it a few times in recent years, I have definitely spotted the major flaw: THE WRITING SUCKED!!! Not only that, the canned laughter now brings a sense of nausea. I can see why Robert Reed conflicted with the creative team often. Incidentally, both this and Gilligan were produced by Sherwood Schwartz, a creator who seems to have had a knack for parallel dimension concepts. The Brady Bunch Movie in 1995 and its sequel captured this alternate universe well. 

Get Smart(1965-70): This show really took the spy genre to task...for its first 2 and a half seasons. After that, the originality left. Max and 99 getting married and then having kids just killed it. The highlights me were the wacky KAOS villains, especially Bernie Kopell as Siegfried. When you see him playing Doc on The Love Boat ten years later, it's a mind-number.

Diff'Rent Strokes(1978-86): Like the Bradys, the writing on this show sucked big time, especially after it got into the 1980s. The first season is still watchable, though, for some reason...perhaps the freshness of the concept. By 1982, Gary Coleman's overdone "Whatchoo talkin' about, Willis?!" couldn't save corny and, shall I say, LAZY writing.

Indeed, there are several sitcoms of the 1980s that suffered from a 'malaise of laze': Webster, Silver Spoons, Who's the Boss, and Full House depended on some form of cute factor. The more adult-oriented shows,,while not always faring better on the classic show streaming channels, at least had good writing and fun characters to make them work at the time. I can still watch Cheers and Night Court and, forgive me for saying this, but despite his despicable actions I can still watch The Cosby Show because even though there was a 'cute' factor with Keshia Knight Pulliam and Rayven Symoné, there was enough intelligent writing to make the characters real. I could relate to Theo's school struggles a bit in the early seasons.

As we pulled into the 90s, the old lazy formulas were generally relegated to Friday and Saturday nights when people generally had lives. There was some experimentation with laughless sitcoms (no audience, no laugh track) that gave the viewer respect as to what they could laugh at...it was too early, though, and not until we got shows like The Office did that audience respect pay off. 

I couldn't get into Friends. I've seen less than 25% of the series and, while some episodes were well done, it wasn't a discussion point the day after like other classic shows of the 80s had done. 

As we moved into the new millennium, the sitcom formula was really dying. Luckily, many of those vomit inducers were on Disney, so I was spared. A friend of mine recently posted this about sitcoms:


"I finally figured out what I hate about sitcoms and modern television- these crappy shows try too hard and so do the studio audiences! They laugh hysterically over something that was, at best, mildly amusing (if that). Older “classic” shows relied on a catch phrase (“kiss my grits”; “heyyyyyy”; “dyn-o-mite”) and milked them to death in every episode. The vast majority of old shows are dated and unwatchable- awful outfits, canned laughter, studio audiences who laugh hysterically at every single implied “funny” moment, etc. Yuck!"

He has a point. Those studio audiences probably get paid pretty well to act wildly amused.

A lot of sitcoms were skipped, but mainly because of the 'overdone' phrases. I could easily have picked at Happy Days as it ran 11 seasons. I left it, and Laverne and Shirley, alone because of their nostalgia draw at the time. Apart from that factor, Potsie Webber is probably the longest-running useless character of all time. After Richie Cunningham left to make good movies, the Fonz wasn't as cool anymore.

I really couldn't ever handle I Love Lucy or The Lucy Show, either...ever! Nothing against Lucille Ball, just not my type of comedy.

You know who I miss? John Ritter. He took a pretty racy and daring concept character in the 1970s and made it a classic. He's what made Three's Company work, not Suzanne Somers.

In closing, the sad truth is that in this modern 'woke' era where funny isn't what it once was for many...or never will be ever...the situation comedy concept is dead in terms of development. You can take any old hackneyed concept, put a racial/cultural spin on it, and reheat it, or add cussing and nudity for a quick cheap laugh. It'll get the teenage boys watching, but it doesn't make it smart.

My funny bone isn't broken, just arthritic!

lamara and 37 other

Wednesday, February 15, 2023

New Me vs Old Me...That is the Question

    Recently I have been looking at myself and thinking UGH!! No, I am not talking about looks. Well, in a way I am, because I haven't felt really good about my looks in some time. Definitely an image problem, and it definitely comingles with my frequent bouts of depression.

   So how do I fix this problem? Well, part of it, a large part of it that is, has to do with my relationship to food. Believe me, it is a damaged and sick relationship, and the food in a way became the narcissist. 

   I say in a way because the food itself was merely an agent of another narcissist...the food INDUSTRY! I could give hundreds of examples of food ads that told you it was healthier or tasted better or subliminally that the CEO wanted to buy another damn yacht, so buying the Drake Yodels would help with the payment.

   A definite up and down history here, so bear with me.

   First up, a confession: for more than 4/5 of my life so far, I have been a sugar addict. Even my dad once labeled me as a sugar junkie when I was a kid. He was right. I could go through more than half a box of Tastykake jelly krimpets or a box of Entenman's crumb donuts in one sitting if someone let me alone with it.

   There was a balance, though, as I got outside and played with my friends and rode my bike, so it was not as if I was Jabba the Hutt in traning...yet. 

   Somewhere along the line in high school, I began a vicious cycle in life where I'd build myself up for something, almost always without solid basis, and I set myself up for a crash. This happened with a girl I liked. It wasn't mutual and the resultant crash put me into probably one of the deepest funks I can remember. Within a year of that time, I began consuming more sugar in the form of junk food and soda, and as I wasn't riding as much as I used to, I was starting to gain weight. It went up and down for a bit but when we moved to California, I was weighing about 175...not the best weight for a 5'5 guy. 

    So what did I do? I went on the Slim Fast diet. I probably did drop a bit just from the change, but I was still consuming sugar in the form of bread. 

   Why was this? Because the food/medical industry was saying fat was the villain so I dropped that shit big time! Truly, my problems were just starting. For a long time in fact!

    Cut forward about 4 or 5 years, right after college graduation, I was at a crossroads and started eating like crap. Lots of chocolate, fast food, anything for that serotonin fix. Even though I tapered off once I started substitute teaching, my weight was at its highest ever in 1998...at that point anyway, in the high 180s. By 2001 I was close to 200. In 2003 I was a bit OVER 200. Small surprise, I was drinking vanilla Coke and Hawaiian Punch Orange Ocean quite regularly. I drank shit and ate shit.

   After a few months at the gym, I was down to 175 and felt great as I'd cut out the high sugary content. After a couple of years and tapering off form the gym, the weight crept up again. After meeting a proposing to Vickie, we tried an Atkins style diet...and our wedding photos were not so hot. Soon after we read up on Dr. Oz's advice and got rid of anything with high fructose corn syrup and walked a lot. That took off some weight for sure form the change...but not long term.

A definite pattern here is short term!

   A few years later, we both went on Weight Watchers. After a few months we quit because I was losing more (short term again) weight.

   For a long time after, I thought I was doing ok, though looking back on past school pictures, I wasn't. I had a definite double, almost triple chin and barely any neck. I didn't look good. Hell, looking back now I looked fairly sick.

Now that I know what I know, which comes later.

   In 2019, our school held a biggest loser challenge which, if it had been about the least dates in high school, I would have won hands down! No, it was weight loss. If I didn't know any better, I'd think the whole thing was set up for me. I anted in and, with some advice from a friend, went very low carb! From January 2020 to August 2020, I lost a bit over 40 pounds through diet and lots of walking! My biggest ever, and I was proud of myself. With the recent shaven head and loose fitting Hawaiian shirts, one might have thought I was a cancer patient!

   In fact I believe I kept under 200 pounds for another year, but I got lazy and started getting into some bad habits again and this past fall I saw my weight at 216. My double chin was starting to return as  well.

   As usually I started to stress, which never helps things and pisses off Vickie to no end. And then I started watching some videos by some doctors...not ones on our insurance plan, but ones with really nothing to gain. In fact, I imagine the food and medical industries might have assassins lying in wait to shut them up, because if people in large droves started listening to them, the profits would drop!

   By the way, since December I have dropped 10 pounds, so I am on the right track. 

   What I learned was that I had an underlying evil in  me much of the time: seed oils. Sunflower, safflower, and worst of all, vegetable oil, otherwise known as soybean oil...none do the body good. In fact, unless I can help it I will no longer do corn, wheat, or soy, or anything that went under major process.

   Process changes the body badly, in the gut, liver, and brain. Hell, even cutting your veggies is a process, but not a bad one. 

   All bread and starches are essentially sugar. Staying away. 

   Water, tea, and coffee are my beverages. Diet Dew, no more.

   Hell, even limiting my Stevia. Making my own mayonnaise with avocado oil.

   If I need a sweetener, I'll use monkfruit until I learn it is dangerous. Nothing yet, though once American know-how gets involved, someone WILL fuck it up. If you have any doubt about that, think about American cheese!

   I think what gets me the most is that the medical industry is in on this on the dark side. They still say low fat, high whole grains, low sodium. Folks, I believe that regimen is creating diabetics by the thousands per day, especially in kids.

   Just like the food industry, the medical industry counts on repeat business. They want you on their drugs which seemingly combat the evils of food or depression or whatever.

   And if you think there isn't a cure for cancer, think about all those doctors and big pharma with their jets, yachts, country club memberships, and influence with our government. Chemo and radiation create new business down the line form the problems they cause.

    Whoa, wait a minute, hold on! I seem to have tripped over a soapbox. Not my intention.

   My intention was to say I'm going to do things my way here on in, with the best possible advice I can find. 

   I don't intend to preach. That might lead to followers and believe me, I don't want anyone following me, it might give me a power trip. What I WANT people to do is think before they act on someone's advice, especially food companies and doctors. Get 2nd opinions, or 3rd opinions.

   Be healthy. If you want a treat here or there from time to time, have one, enjoy it, and get back on the train, because a treat is really just a train stop until you decide it's your new town and the town is East Rutherford.

   That's all. Be good to yourself.