I've Got a 2022 and It's Got Excedrin Written All Over It

    All I can say about this year really is...uuuggghhhh!

   So I guess the question here is why was the year so bad? I suppose it wasn't bad for EVERYONE, but personally speaking it was just a slice of hell on stale rye for me. The first month saw us all in masks still and we were all tired of the whole damn thing, especially at work. On top of that, we had to do a daily check-in of our overall health and temperature reading. THAT didn't go away until September!

   Not ashamed to say that as spring got closer, I was feeling some other stuff inside that got me feeling, well, low on the sanity/emotional health spectrum. Thankfully I have a good support network that helped me to get through it. Some therapy also came into play, but it didn't have the desired outcome...perhaps more down the road might be in order in this coming year if need be. Really I just need to get back to eating healthy and getting my ass outside for physical meditation.

   As for the actual teaching, it was ok for the most part, although in mid May over half my class was quarantined...literally a week from the end of the year! Then came a few weeks of summer school where I focused on American history in the 20th century. 

   Near the end of that period, my new Corolla finally came in! That helped to make a happy if brief summer vacay! 

   My daughter turned 13.

   I turned 50.

   Then came the current school year. Frankly, every few years we teachers get a group of kids who are just tough to build a positive relationship with, and this is one of those years. Will it get better? Time will tell.

   On the news, events were just not heartwarming. The presence of Donald Trump was still around as the Congressional committee investigating January 6, 2021 pieced together clues and testimony for what we all really knew in our minds from that actual day almost 2 years ago now.  

   Gas prices surged in the western part of the nation...in California some towns went over $7 per gallon! We did get a nice treat in December of under $4, but I can already see the prices starting to creep up again.

   The war in the Ukraine sparked support for that poor nation against Russia...but really it was a temporary thing to distract us from what was happening at home...specifically inflation of food and goods prices! I'm still waiting for egg prices to drop to something more reasonable!

   Monkeypox...another quick panic to get people focused on something other than reality.

   Cryptocurrency crashes...I never understood it, never invested in it, so no biggie for me.

   Midterm elections: about as fun as midterm exams in college! At the very least, the Republican party was finally realizing that Donald Trump was not so much a kingmaker, more of a court jester-maker, and most of his handpicked candidates lost.

   Roe vs Wade, after 49 years, was overturned. Quite frankly I think the damage from this move will be greater than the overturners imagined over time. I will not get into my beliefs on this one, but there was missed opportunity for a reformed law as opposed to overturned law here, and all for vain politics. Such a waste!

   As far as I'm concerned, the best part of this year was my road trip with my mom. I took her from San Diego to Fayetteville, North Carolina, a nice 4 day trip where we had a lot of time to talk about lots of things and see parts of the country we had not seen previously. Say what you will about western Texas, but one must define the word "empty" carefully, for there was no real emptiness that I could see. Not always the most interesting, but not a vast flat plain, either. In Alabama, I got to see an old friend from junior high and high school after 33 years apart for a little bit. Plus, I finally got a chance to meet my grand nephews and grand niece along with my beloved nephew Ian and his wife Alexis.

   All right, now it is time to revisit the celebrity deaths of the year...quite numerous as always...and my disclaimer if you feel I missed someone: I list the people with whom I have a sense of familiarity.

January: Dan Reeves, Peter Bogdanovich, Sidney Poitier, Dwayne Hickman, Bob Saget, Ronnie Spector, Ralph Emery, Yvette Mimieux, Meat Loaf, Gary Hart, Donald May, and Howard Hesseman

February: Ivan Reitman, Sally Kellerman (light month)

March: Conrad Janis, Johnny Brown, Tim Considine, Mitchell Ryan, Traci Braxton, William Hurt, Madeleine Albright, and Kathryn Hays

April: Nehemiah Persoff, Bobby Rydell, Orrin Hatch, David Birney, and Naomi Judd

May: Charles Siebert, Jerry verDorn, Jewell, Mickey Gilley, Fred Ward, Lee Lawson, Ray Liotta, and Bo Hopkins

June: Barry Sussman, Jim Seals, and Philip Baker Hall

July: James Caan, Larry Storch, Ivana Trump, Rebecca Balding, Taurean Blacque, Paul Sorvino, Tony Dow, and Nichelle Nichols

August: Clu Gulager, Roger E. Mosley, John Abdo, Anne Heche, Joe E. Tata, and Robert LuPone

September: Bernard Shaw, Mark Miller, Kenneth Starr, Louise Fletcher, and Coolio

October: Judy Tenuta, Ann Flood, Jerry Lee Lewis, and Andrew Prine

November: Robert Clary, Irene Cara, and Clarence Gilyard 

December: Christine McVie, Bob McGrath, Kirstie Alley, Stuart Margolin, Maggie Thrett, Pele, Pope Benedict XVI, and Barbara Walters

   Well, let's wrap up this gas station sushi roll of a year once and for all!

   Happy and peaceful 2023 to all!  

   

   

Brazil or Paraguay? Where to go, Where to go?

    (innocent reader on their knees): No, please! I promise I'll do anything! Just don't do this!

   (me): I have no choice! I have to! I must!

   (innocent reader): If I read another book/movie review/comparison, I'll die a horrible death! 

   (me): If you use 2 slashes again in one sentence, I'll kill you myself...AFTER you read!

   OK, OK, a little extreme, but these review/comparisons get stale at the beginning sometimes! Well, some exciting news first... I have discovered an author this year that I had never read previously: Ira Levin! I saw a hardcover first edition of The Stepford Wives last Spring at a small antique store for a reasonable price and had to get it. Not only that, I actually dared to open it and (gasp) READ it!

   Levin is actually an easy author to read, and Stepford was a quickie. Later in the year as I was preparing to take my mom across the country, my wife got me The Boys From Brazil. It was intended to be read a bit throughout the trip when we stopped for the night, but I only got a few pages in on the plane ride back from North Carolina. I just recently picked it up again during my Christmas holiday and sure enough, I got through it in a few days, finishing it on Christmas in fact.

   What is this one about? Simply, Nazis! Specifically, it is about a complicated plot by Joseph Mengele, having been forced into the jungles of Brazil, to clone a whole  new generation of Adolph Hitlers via tissue samples left to him ceremoniously by Hitler himself. After the fertilization and insertion into Brazilian women, the successful births are then put up for adoption for just the right types of families in Europe and America...the right types being a tyrannical father and loving mother of specific ages.

   When the fathers are at about 65 years of age, Mengele sends out a hit squad of devoted Aryans to kill them. The reason? Hitler's dad died at that age. It is all a carefully concocted plan to mirror Hitler's teen years so one or more of them can be a nation's new fuhrer. In fact, this is so detailed that the book really is a bit of science fiction, a combo of cloning basics and psychological conditioning.

   To balance this out, there is detective work involved on behalf of a former Nazi hunter named Yakov Liebermann who gets a tip from a spy at Mengele's briefing at a Japanese restaurant in Brazil at the book's start on some of the names of those to be assassinated. Yakov hears only a bit before Mengele and a hit squad kill the spy in his hotel room, but moves on it with his limited resources due to financial and organizational troubles.

   Yakov meets with the wife of one of the victims and meets her son, thinking nothing of it. However, when he interviews another victim's wife and meets her son, he is shocked to see the exactitude of this boy to the first one, right down to the blue eyes! After consulting a biology professor and the imprisoned Nazi woman who handled the illegal adoptions, along with the list the spy gave him, he pieces together the intricate puzzle. At first he is confused because Mengele has brown eyes, then he realizes who the boys will become, as well as pieces together who the next victim will be.

   Meanwhile, Mengele's Nazi backers are growing nervous when they hear of Liebermann's snooping and call back the assassins. Mengele is furious and decides to handle the killings himself, as well as take care of Liebermann once and for all. In fact, Ira Levin makes Mengele a master of disguise, almost like Artemus Gordon from The Wild Wild West. Through trickery, he gets Liebermann's location and target: the Wheelock family near Lancaster, PA. Mengele meets Mr. Wheelock who has a menacing team of Dobermans, and says he is Liebermann. He convinces Wheelock to put the dogs away, then assassinates him on the basement stairs. 

   Liebermann arrives and Mengele tries to Americanize his voice, but Liebermann sees through it and the two engage in a struggle, with Liebermann badly injured by gunshots, but not before he releases the dogs. The teen Bobby Wheelock arrives and calls off the dogs tentatively. Mengele tries to persuade the boy of his mission and their identities and paint Liebermann as the villain. Luckily, Bobby doesn't buy it and has the dogs kill Mengele with a command of "Mustard"(kill). Incidentally, "ketchup: told the dogs to be calm and "pickles" put them on close menacing guard. Bobby agrees to call for medical help if Liebermann stays quiet about Bobby ordering the dogs to kill. Liebermann and the young Hitler shake on it...a dark irony considering Liebermann's life.

   At the end, the Jewish Defense League is happy Mengele is dead, but want Liebermann's list of names so they can kill all the boys as a precaution. Liebermann refuses and flushes the list down the toilet, opting to let the boys grow on their own and assume world conditions won't bring a new Hitler forward to take control.

   Like Stepford Wives, Boys From Brazil is more or less satirical (the former was more satirical) in nature. Nazi Germany was only in power  just over 30 years before Levin published the book in 1976, so surviving "Lost Generation" and older Baby Boomers were well informed on the second world war and the Holocaust. Other post-war Nazi stories were published in the 1970s as well, so Levin was well-versed on facts to create this satire, as much as he had some insight on Women's Lib to write Stepford. I liked the way the story unfolded, with the plot thickener of the cloning coming about mid-book. Nothing felt too rushed or too slow, and the coming showdown between Liebermann and Mengele had me reading almost the entire second half in one night!

   One nice thing about the 1970s was that film adaptations of books generally came within a year or two of the book's publication, since George Lucas-style special effects had not yet revolutionized the film industry. The book was published in 1976 and the movie was released in 1978. Gregory Peck played Mengele and Sir Laurence Olivier played Liebermann, though his first name was changed to Ezra for some odd reason. Also, the Nazis were working out of Paraguay, so the title makes no sense at all. Apart from that, the movie is pretty faithful to the book overall.

   What got me laughing was the fight near the end between Peck and Olivier...Peck was 62 and Olivier was 71, so it was like watching Grumpy Old Men in a darker version! Also, there is a drawback to being too faithful to a book at times, though Levin's writing makes adaptation pretty easy.

   In conclusion, if you're into Nazi lore at all merely as a subject of history, this book is quite an entertaining bit of fantasy and sci-fi, even though the very end of the book shows one of the clones having an artful vision of a man giving a great speech to a crowd, an ironic but expected foreshadowing after Liebermann flushed the list in a show of good faith. As to book vs movie, take the book, which I usually recommend anyway.

   Hopefully I did not harm any eyes in the writing of this blog.

Who Shot the Classic Serial part Deux...the Classic Cliffhangers

    Recently I revisited my Dallas (1978-91) box set...thinking at first I'd rewatch the whole series, but by the end of season 5 I was getting a bit worn from viewing entire seasons. Really, as the series gained height in popularity, it also gained in episode count per season (peaking at 31 episodes in season 9). Now, I know that seems tame compared to classic TV's standard 39 episodes in the 50s and early 60s, but as we all know from even the best TV series of our lifetimes...not all episodes are winners.

   In fact, at times Dallas dragged in its storylines. It dragged so much, in fact, that one station in Philly over 30 years ago decided to air the best of each season in 2 week installments, calling this collection "The Classic Cliffhangers". This was a fun relaxation for me during the summer of 1991, and this memory inspires me to go after all 14 cliffhangers instead of their 6, effectively wrapping up my viewing of the show for probably another several years.

Season 1 (1978)- Not so much of a season as a miniseries to see if it could do an entire fall to spring run, but it did set up the original characters  J.R., Bobby, Jock, Miss Ellie, Pam, Sue Ellen, Lucy, Ray, and Cliff nicely. In the last installment, Pamela fell from a hayloft to get away from a drunken J.R. and lost the baby she was carrying. 

Season 2 (1978-79)- The show's first full season focused on J.R.'s continued callous infidelity to Sue Ellen and her subsequent affair with J.R.'s arch enema (enemy) Cliff  Barnes, who dumped her in favor of his political future, just as she realized she was prego. As she'd slept with Cliff more than J.R. this season, it was assumed the baby was Cliff's, but Sue Ellen, stung at rejection by her husband AND her lover, turned increasingly to alcohol. In this season's cliffhanger, she and baby John Ross III were in critical danger as she'd drunkenly tried to escape from the sanitarium J.R. had forced her in and crashed the car.

Side note: This season also introduces Donna Culver (Susan Howard), Ray's eventual wife who would be on the show until season 10. I mention this because while I like her character, she was never a part of any cliffhanger.

Season 3 (1979-80)- J.R. made a slew of enemies in this season, even his own parents when he mortgaged the family home/ranch Southfork to finance an oil venture in Asia. When the Asian wells were nationalized, J.R. was alerted beforehand and sold the leases to the Dallas oil cartel and sleazy banker Vaughn Leland. On top of that, he'd hired ambitious attorney Alan Beam to lure Cliff out of local politics to run for a national post then pulled out Cliff's funding. When Alan tried to marry Lucy Ewing and stay in Dallas, J.R. ruined his career. Not only THAT, he had been sleeping with Sue Ellen's ambitious sister Kristin, but when she turned against him for abandoning her affections, he tried to frame her for prostitution. Icing on the cake was after learning he really was John Ross III's real daddy, he vowed that Sue Ellen would never take him away and upon her renewed drinking when lover Dusty Farlow (Jared Martin) was assumed dead from a plane crash, he tried her have her sent back to the sanitarium. J.R. was shot by a mysterious assailant in his office at the end of the season.

Side note: Starting in this season, Larry Hagman was looking trimmer and younger and the show looked a lot brighter color wise.

Season 4 (1980-81)- J.R. pulled through and waged a war against brother Bobby to regain control of Ewing Oil. He succeeded, then tried to build a new image via P.R. bloodhound Leslie Stewart (Susan Flannery). Unfortunately, during this rebuilding he financed a counter-revolution to regain the Asian Wells and Cliff got wind of it. Sue Ellen, tired of J.R. and wanting to build a new life with not-so-dead Dusty and baby John Ross, tried to get the baby out with Pamela's help. Plus, Kristin had returned to town and was apparently shaking down more than just J.R. for money regarding her baby's paternity. In the final episode, there was a female body in the pool  that Cliff found.

Side Note: Season 4 is the first of 3 seasons where Dallas was #1 in the Nielsens.

Season 5 (1981-82)- There was a definite separate 2 halves of this season. The first half involved J.R. trying to get Sue Ellen and John Ross away from Dusty and his father Clayton at their ranch in San Angelo. The second half was all about everyone coping with Jock's death, even J.R. Once recovered, J.R. waged a war against Cliff when he realized Cliff was pursuing Sue Ellen (she and J.R. were divorced), endangering his plan to get John Ross back on Southfork permanently. Playing on Cliff's newfound greed working at his newly-found mom's company, he set Cliff up for a fall and succeeded. The season ended with Cliff attempting suicide.

Side Note: Season 5 is the second of 3 seasons where Dallas was #1 in the Nielsens.

Season 6 (1982-83)- This whole season was all about dead Jock Ewing's will, creating a battle between Bobby and J.R. for control of Ewing Oil after a year. Several business battles, a lawsuit, and confrontations ensued. At season's end, Pam and Cliff's mom died, Bobby and Pam were splitting up, and a victim of J.R.'s crooked dealings tried to run J.R. off the road, but ended up hitting Sue Ellen and Ray's cousin Mickey. Once Ray found out who it was, he tried to kill J.R. with his bare hands but in the process of trying to defend himself, J.R. started a fire that threatened to burn down Southfork's main mansion.

Season 7 (1983-84)- Like season 3, many were hating J.R. When Cliff started stealing deals from his rival, J.R. set him up to bid on an offshore drilling venture by blackmailing a government official with the areas up for sale to reveal them so he'd know how to bait Cliff. Katherine Wentworth (Cliff and Pam's half sister) had tried to get Bobby to love her all season but failed, thanks mainly to J.R. And then young Peter Richards had an affair with Sue Ellen that jealous J.R. found out about and threatened to set Peter up on drug charges unless he left town and Sue Ellen returned to the marital bed. Indeed there was a gunshot in the Ewing offices...but it was Bobby who got hit!

Side Note: Season 7 is the final of 3 seasons where Dallas was #1 in the Nielsens. It is also, in my opinion, the best of the series.

Season 8 (1984-85)- Quite a busy season without a lot of draw story-wise. Much of it had to do with Bobby's old/new love Jenna Wade (Priscilla Presley) and her problems, but there was another story involving who really owned Ewing Oil via a document cousin Jamie Ewing (Jennilee Harrison) had. It looked like she and Cliff would own a third apiece, but Jamie's brother Jack (Dack Rambo) provided proof it wasn't true...for a tenth of Ewing Oil in payment. At the very end, Bobby decided he really wanted Pam back, but on the way out to tell his family, he took a car hit by crazy Katherine and died from his injuries...not precisely a cliffhanger, but a big finish. 

Season 9 (1985-86)- Now, I could easily just skip this season at it was the infamous "dream" season, and it wasn't a real winner aside from some good acting by Linda Gray showing Sue Ellen hitting rock bottom drinking and rising from the pit. Assumed dead former lover Mark Graison (John Beck) returned to help Pam in business and feelings. Evil businesswoman Angelica Nero (Barbara Carrera) tried to set up J.R. and Jack to die at a masquerade ball to gain control of her dead husband's empire. And then came Matt Cantrell (Marc Singer) to convince Pam to invest in Bobby's emerald mine in South America. At the end, Angelica planted a bomb in Jack's car and in J.R.'s office...only Sue Ellen and Jamie were the victims instead of the Ewing men...and suddenly Pam awakes in bed to see Bobby in the shower!

Season 10 (1986-87)- Like season 5, this season was in 2 parts. The first part dealt with newly hired ranch foreman Wes Parmalee (Steve Forrest) claiming to be Jock back from the dead and the family torn over it all, but Bobby (yes he was back) found out the man's true identity and the story abruptly ended. The second half was all about the end of Ewing Oil. J.R., panicked over falling oil prices, hired terrorist B.D. Calhoun to blow up some Middle Eastern oil fields, but panicked again when warned by the CIA and gave up Calhoun, who went after J.R. for revenge. Bobby and Ray killed Calhoun who was about to kill John Ross. The CIA covered it up, but longtime business rival Jeremy Wendell (William Smithers) of WestStar, seeking revenge for being double-crossed, learned of J.R.'s violation of national security and gave all evidence to the Justice Department, who shut down Ewing Oil.

Side note: To me, that was the end of the season, but a cliffhanger involving Pam crashing into an oil truck and creating a huge explosion, was the actual cliffhanger...but only to say sayonara to Victoria Principal. Incidentally, this was also a season where Cliff was at his worst. He was proving to be a horrible and weaselly businessman. On the other hand, Sue Ellen was becoming a great businesswoman with her new lingerie venture.

Season 11 (1987-88)- When J.R. loses, he doesn't lick his wounds, he springs like a tiger. All season was spent regaining lost Ewing assets while Bobby, fresh over Pam, is given an opportunity to get the Ewing Oil name back...as long as it is only him and not J.R. It all comes to a head when Bobby succeeds at Ewing Oil's rebirth name-wise, but J.R. loses his bid at WestStar thanks to Sue Ellen and seeks revenge by hiding John Ross. Sue Ellen and business advisor/lover Nicholas Pearce (Jack Scalia) confront him and a struggle ensues, ending with Nicholas being thrown off the high balcony of J.R.'s new condo (with a strange freeze frame of the fall for a second) )and Sue Ellen shooting J.R. 

Side note: Cliff redeemed himself this season big time by helping an oilman who reminds him of his father...and then when the man thinks Cliff cheated him, Cliff realizes that his long deceased bitter father was bitter for no good reason at all...then sweetly apologizes to Ellie for all the bad blood over the years.

Season 12 (1988-89)- A pretty disjointed season due to a writers' strike. It started with a range war set up by newly reseated and vengeful Jeremy Wendell, using "rancher" Carter McKay (George Kennedy) to buy Ray's house and land to set up the war. Once Jeremy was discovered and arrested, J.R. was forced to contend with his hick bride Cally (Cathy Podewell) and Carter as the new head of WestStar. On top of that, Sue Ellen was now in the movie business and had a movie made about her and J.R.'s life together. The season ends with her showing J.R. a rough cut of the film and threatening to release it if he ever tries to hurt her or John Ross. The once easily victimized Sue Ellen is now the victor and walks off into the London sunset with new love Don Lockwood (Ian McShane).

Season 13 (1989-90)- Way too many things going on in this season...Carter's son going after Bobby and anyone who he feels hurt his father, an oil tanker accident, J.R.'s long lost (and previously unknown) son James, and intrigue with Clayton's crazy sister Jessica killing many Dallas bigwigs. She is sent away again but not before J.R. learns she has valuable WestStar voting rights. He quite viciously torments Cally to get rid of her (perhaps a nod to the old J.R. 10 years ago) and goes to the sanitarium as a patient to get to Jessica for the voting rights, then gets his release taken away by a vengeful James.

Side note: We all know in serials/soaps that the start and end of seasons find the main characters in different situations, but J.R. was all over the place here. So was Cliff, who ended up being a Ewing foe again for a little while. Like season 9, quite unfocused but at least shorter.

Season 14 (1990-91)- All I can say here is it was a mercifully short season, focusing on Bobby finding the woman who was responsible for new bride April (pre-Walker Sheree J. Wilson) getting killed in Paris while J.R.'s grip on Ewing business slipped further away. A last failed grab at WestStar is foiled by Carter and long-unseen rival Dusty, and everyone except Bobby has left Southfork. A despondent J.R. is about to shoot himself, but not before "angel" Adam (Joel Grey) shows him what life would be like without a J.R. Ewing (Bobby a losing gambler, brother Gary a successful divorce attorney, Sue Ellen an actress, Cliff  the new President of the U.S. and Ray a crippled but happy family man) but only to depress him more to make him pull the trigger. We hear a gunshot and Bobby comes in shocked.

What happened? Well, in 2 later reunion movies J.R. was off somewhere turning his life around while Bobby had returned to ranching and Cliff was running Ewing Oil....until J.R. returns to mess up everyone's lives with a new twinkle in his eye!

Who shot the Classic Serial?

    It's a Friday night in 1985. You have no plans, no sex life, not even a dog to watch! When asked what your plans are, what do you say?

A. I'm doing laundry, hair, and nails all in one sitting

B. I'm a eunuch

C. I'm Bryan Moore, who are you kidding?

D. Are you crazy? Dallas is on!

   Now, in all reality and in respect to the joys of self-deprecation, choice C is a sure-fire invitation to pity if you're into that form of masochism, but the real answer, and obvious segue, is D for Dallas! 

   Dallas was a Friday night staple on CBS for 12 years, and did fairly well in syndicated reruns for a while after. I actually got into it the summer of 1990 on one of the Philly local channels, and got to see the episode where J.R. Ewing got shot. In fact, I remember when I was 8 I had heard all about the show without seeing an episode. When my dad was going on a business trip to Dallas, I told him, "Watch out for J.R.!"

   After years of catching the rerun circuit on local channels, TNT, and TNN, I finally bought the whole series on DVD for about $150 over 6 years ago. As I watched the entire series, I noted how the cable channels really cut up the show, particularly TNN, for more ads.

   Recently I took out the box set and began watching again. After 5 seasons straight through, I realized I didn't want to sit through every episode, because I pretty much know the series by heart and many storylines dragged through 28+ episode seasons, so I am catching what I consider are highlights for the final 9 years.

   All that said, what was it about this show that kept up so much momentum? Well, it worked on a few different interest levels. It started at a Romeo and Juliet kind of familial war between the rich Ewings and working class Barnes's. There was of course a large sense of trashiness with a lot of sex, cheating, and drinking. On top of that, there was a dark light shone upon oil companies and their greed for more riches.

   What really tied it all together was Larry Hagman's portrayal of ruthless J.R. Ewing. Viewers had previously known him as handsome, often hapless, Major Tony Nelson on I Dream of Jeannie. Within one episode, the whole 5 episode spring 1978 miniseries (counted on the box set as season 1), J.R. was pretty well spelt out as a guiltless philandering husband who ran his dad Jock's company Ewing Oil any damn well way he pleased...which often ended up screwing competitors and even implied friendly business associates out of money, land, or both.

   One could really write a book about the psyche of J.R., but I don't have the inclination or rights to that so I'll sum him up as best as I can. At first his main goals were to establish Ewing Oil as the biggest independent oil company in Texas, along with getting rid of Cliff Barnes, a Texas politician who had a beef with the whole Ewing family over what he thought was the Ewings screwing his dad Digger out of riches decades ago. Ewing Oil had its highs and lows throughout the series, even was disbanded for a year by the Federal government due to J.R.'s dealings with a terrorist for hire, but he did get rid of Cliff as a political rival only to gain him as a business rival.

Here's a brief rundown of J.R.'s crooked business ploys (it won't SEEM brief, but it is)

1. Created a forgery of Jock's will to gain the rights to drill on Southfork (the family estate/ranchland) for oil.

2. Bought leases to Asian Oil Wells (by mortgaging Southfork behind his parents' back) and not letting the local oil cartel in, then sold them the leases upon learning the wells were about to be nationalized, causing financial ruin for some...one person committed suicide.

3. Financed a revolution to get those same wells back.

4. Bought all of Clayton Farlow's oil and stockpiled it to force his wife Sue Ellen to leave Dusty Farlow and return son John Ross to Southfork to please Jock.

5. Set up Cliff with a phony deal to ruin him and get Sue Ellen back (still to get John Ross back on Southfork). This resulted in Cliff attempting suicide.

6. Blackmailed an official to get an oil variance to set up cut rate gas stations and sold oil to Cuba in order to win Ewing Oil in a year-long battle with brother Bobby.

7. Set up Cliff (again) in an offshore drilling scheme to financially ruin Cliff...it backfired when Cliff struck oil.

8. When oil prices were falling due to Arabs glutting the market, J.R. contracted terrorist for hire B.D. Calhoun to blow up Arab fields to raise the oil prices. This ended up costing the family the company.

9. Worked with greedy Casey Denault to get Ewing assets back from those who bought them when Ewing Oil was disbanded, and schemed to take over rival WestStar..he gained the assets but Sue Ellen stopped him.

From that last point on, J.R. was less in control of things in terms of business each successive season. It seemed as if everyone was truly onto him more and more and easily blocked him. In terms of  personal schemes, he had a number of mistresses that he bedded while married to Sue Ellen, TWICE married to her to be exact. He also waged many a one-up on poor Cliff, including stealing Cliff's girlfriend Mandy, constantly plotted to get Bobby's wife Pamela ("that Barnes woman") out of his life, bullied Sue Ellen relentlessly for the first few seasons, and, in arguably his most chilling scheme, blackmailed a government official who had a secret past as a child molester into letting him see the offshore tracts for auction to set up Cliff. He also bedded a naive country girl then was forced to marry her by her redneck brothers. That was the start of his lack of cunning superiority and growing paranoia.

But wait, there's more!

The second most fascinating character is Sue Ellen. At the start, she is a very proper wife doing all of the wifely duties along with serving on many social committees and acting superior. This of course all a charade to mask her frustration at J.R. not making love to her anymore and therefore not being able to bear a Ewing child. She has a 1 night stand with ranch foreman Ray Krebbs and then a slightly longer affair with Cliff and gets pregnant. Shunned by Cliff eventually and even more so by J.R. , she takes more and more to the bottle and J.R. forces her into a sanitarium where she gives birth to John Ross.

But who was the father? It was J.R.'s after all after several months assuming he was Cliff's. Sue Ellen in the meantime...

1. Found new love in Dusty Farlow before he was thought to be killed in a plane crash

2. Felt new loyalty to J.R. after he was shot, but that lasted only a bit over a month once he bedded Afton Cooper at Lucy's wedding.

3. Reunited with Dusty even though he was crippled and impotent, and took John Ross to the Farlow estate Southern Cross with Pamela's help.

4. Left Dusty and after a controlled (by J.R.s mom Ellie) divorce found her way BACK to J.R...she wasn't quite ready for the single life.

5. After discovering J.R. cheating on her again, she drank again, but got off the bottle not long after, and had an affair with much younger Peter Richards, who was John Ross's camp counselor...even getting pregnant by him but suffered a miscarriage.

6. Reunited with J.R. in bed for a short time before he found Mandy Winger.

7. Drank out of guilt when John Ross was sick (aided by J.R.'s bullying)

8. Got off the bottle and bought Valentine Lingerie at first to embarrass J.R. and mess with Mandy's head, but it turned into a successful business and showed just how much Sue Ellen had grown in confidence. This period (1986-87) marked a permanent change in her. Instead of J.R. getting her goat, the tables were turned.

9. Found new love with investment banker Nicholas Pearce, but he later died after a high balcony struggle with J.R. over a gun.

10. Made a movie about her life with J.R. and used it to blackmail J.R. into never messing with her or hurting John Ross. This was her exit.

I find Sue Ellen so fascinating in those later seasons because she is no longer a woman who was "trained" by her mother into marrying the perfect man...she found independence and happiness...and more importantly self control.

My least favorite character? Lucy Ewing! Always a spoiled brat, she started as a school skipping nympho who regularly bedded Ray Krebbs, had 2 ruined engagements, found out that Ray was her uncle (though nobody mentioned this in season 4, this pretty much beats Luke and Leia's more than sibling level kiss in terms of EWWWWW factor!) She eventually found love and marriage with medical student Mitch Cooper, but her spoiled ways killed that. She was later raped by obsessive modeling photographer Roger and got pregnant and then aborted the baby, found new love with Mickey Trotter before he was paralyzed, then tried for Peter Richards but J.R. had him run out of town. She eventually reunited with Mitch and left, then came back for 2 years with nothing stories and left again. In many ways she was a bigger loser than Cliff.

All right, that is quite enough before I write an entire book, though my next bit is about the cliffhangers!