Northern California Where the Girls Are Warm(er)

    Of my 10 years spent in California, I have to say by far that the eight spent in Northern California were pretty much better than the two in San Diego. I can attribute this to several factors.

    The biggest factor to me really is the scenery. Right from my first visit on Labor Day weekend in 1993, I knew there was something special about Sonoma State University. I believe it was the small-town atmosphere that surrounded it. The urban/suburban sprawl of San Diego had not served me well, I was used to a little town here, a little town there kind of thing in Pennsylvania, so Rohnert Park did it for me. As I was into taking walks, the town had a perfect set-up. It was also bike friendly. Close by was an equal sized and smaller town called Cotati. I liked the feel of that town as well. 8 miles to the north was the bigger burg of Santa Rosa where I would move after graduation. About 30-40 miles to the west was the Pacific Ocean, depending on where you were headed. To the north and east were local highways and byways containing many a winery. I am not too much into wine itself, but there were a few varieties I came to enjoy now and then, especially Gewurtztraminer, a German that became my favorite.

   And then there was San Francisco itself, a convenient big city to explore when there was time...just 48 miles away. It was almost like the convenience of having Philly so close when living in the Reading area, only the drive to and from San Fran/The City/don't call it Frisco was more pleasant. Then there was Oakland, a less pleasant city, but always good for an A's game. Further south was San Jose. I never had much use for that place because it lacked a lot for me besides congested freeways.

   North of Santa Rosa were picturesque valleys, lots of forests, some hilly terrain...and an odd town called Eureka...and 100 miles beyond that, Oregon. Between my buddy Scott and I, we saw it all.

   In 1994, my folks drove me to Sonoma State for my first semester of classes. I had my mullet at that point. I immediately liked my new dorm and most of the people I was living with...hey in an 8-person suite you can't like EVERYONE, but I got into the environment much better than I did in West Virginia. Plus, on day one I met my almost-common-law-marriage buddy Scott Catania. We stayed pretty good friends and roommates for the next 8 years. We are still friends, but distance and individual family lives lessen the communication.

   I met a lot of other people I still maintain contact with via phone or social media at Sonoma State. Many of our dormmates ate together in the Zinfandel dining hall or got together in our little common area outside for talk or games or both. Several drank fairly often and a few did some pot. Scott and I weren't really into that s o often we just drove around in his car at night, listening to rock and maybe grabbing a drink. In the next semester, a few people moved out and we got some new blood. This second semester I definitely felt better adjusted to my newer surroundings and was quite happy to be there.

   In the fall 1995 semester, Scott, our friend Rob, and I moved into the on-campus apartments. The difference between dorm and on-campus apartment was that you got your own food and a kitchen, but no dining hall access. Down the hall from us were our friends Karen and Kimberly from the previous year. We had a 4th roommate in our apartment in the form of a guy suffering from Tourette's. I probably could have been nicer or at least civil to the guy, but I had anger issues regarding my parents' divorce and he lit my fuse more than he should have. All of us shared a nice 2 semesters together. In that second semester in the apartment, we made a camcorder movie, which ended up being fun but I no longer have the tape sad to say.

   In the summer of 1996, Scott and I got an OFF-campus apartment, one we actually had to pay rent for. It was pretty convenient to school via bike or car (on nice days I biked there), and close to Rohnert Park and Cotati stores for convenience sake. Also that summer, I had a job as a painter (or REpainter) of the dorm interiors. That was a cool gig. Rob joined us for the fall as he still had 2 classes to take but by Christmas he was back to southern Cal.

   In May of 1997, Scott and I graduated. It was sort of a sad time as I was closing a chapter of a positive period in life. The next month, we moved to a family(Scott's family that is)owned apartment in Santa Rosa in the Rincon Valley area. I liked that location a lot, but we got an even better gig 8 months later when we moved to another family-owned place close-by for RENT FREE...in exchange for us taking Scott's grandma June wherever she needed to go. As I was more sporadically employed with either temp jobs or substitute teaching during this period, I was the one who more often did this, and it was a pleasure. June and I had already become good friends in all the times Scott and I went to her house to do laundry the past 3 years.

   In early 2000, I went back to Sonoma State for the classes to get a teaching credential and graduated in mid 2001. Once again I met some good people, but most good people tend to be fleeting when the time is up. This was no exception. I did maintain a friendship with my classmate Jacqueline up until I moved to Las Vegas.

   In the realm of social (dating) life, I was still not what many would consider in the stud category and this was evident when trying to get a dating life going in AND out of college. During my bachelor degree-seeking years, I was interested in Kimberly and a frequent classmate named Sarah, but alas no romantic sparks with either (though my friendship with Kimberly has been renewed in recent years when she moved to Las Vegas). Out of college, it took a while but I had an on again/off again relationship with another Sarah, a Chinese girl, for about 2 years, as well as with a girl named Jody for 2 brief spells in 2000 and 2002. The dating waters had definitely gotten warmer, but it wasn't hot until Las Vegas...well at least a more constant SIMMER there!

   Besides going on drives and trips with Scott, I took frequent drives by myself. My favorite drive was a nighttime jaunt to Goat Rock State Beach. On clear nights, you could see tons of stars in the sky...on cool nights that was a personally satisfying feeling. 

   Toward the end of my time in northern California, Scott's grandma June had a bad fall and she had to move to a sort of nursing residence. Scott and I moved into her house to keep an eye on things. That year between graduating from the teaching program and moving to Las Vegas was probably my most restless time, and it was certainly a period of depression. After getting a swift kick in the ass from my own grandma, I proceeded to get on finding teaching jobs and interviews and what not. It was a long frustrating period...one trip even involved a car accident...until I interviewed in Fresno for the Vegas job. Once I got the YOU'RE HIRED packet in the mail, my whole demeanor changed and I had a light at the end of the proverbial tunnel.

   All in all, I could live these 8 years over again in a heartbeat, maybe change one or two things...but then again, life's direction has a purpose, so one must have some faith in the course of nature...or say FUCK IT. One's choice.

Southern California Here I Come...and Long Gone! (California Time Part 1)

    As I drove my new Corolla down Cajon Pass last week, I wondered if I'd reach San Diego alive! It was only Tuesday and things were backing up already! Not that I'd expect any less, the Cajon pass is a mess of cars and trucks either braking down a long decline or trying to race through the maze of vehicles at all times! However, as I continued into Rancho Cucamonga and northern Riverside County past several major freeway interchanges, I was almost frozen with panic as cars weaved irresponsibly without signal through the lanes to get to...wherever...my guess would be the theme compounds in Orange County, since after Corona, the stress level eased considerably, and the drive into San Diego County was relatively stressless.

   It wasn't always this bad, at least traffic-wise.

   In 1992, my parents moved from Reading, Pennsylvania to San Diego, California. I was still in college at the time, pushing somewhat weakly through my classes at West Virginia University. I was definitely a small fish in a big pond then, and was realizing that maybe I'd made a mistake in my college selection. I was about to find out that the small fish feeling was to remain for a bit longer.

   During Spring Break, I took a plane trip to spend time in my future new surroundings. I had never been to San Diego before then, but I'd seen San Francisco, Los Angeles, and Yosemite, so I was excited for something new. When I arrived in the evening, I noticed that the airport was very close to downtown. That downtown twinkled pleasantly at night and made me feel welcome.

   At that point, my parents had not yet moved to the house on Carmel Ridge Road, they were renting an apartment on El Cajon Blvd near the La Mesa city limit. I was really glad to see our old Scottish terrier Mac waiting for us, though he had to have a muzzle in the apartment while we were gone. During that week, we went to see a show at the Improv with my Aunt Terry, saw the new house, drove all around the area, and saw a movie or two. My dad was working on the regular days, so my mom and I hung out most of that time, though we were all together for dinners. 

   My initial impression of San Diego was positive for the most part, and since I wasn't really enjoying college life (and my GPA reflected that more or less), I opened my mind to it. My one big sadness was not seeing any of my old buddies in Pennsylvania anymore. Apart from my aunt, cousin, and parents, I had nobody else in San Diego...at least not yet.

   In early May, I took off permanently for San Diego. My dad picked me up at the airport, and my mom had my favorite dinner (chicken, mashed potatoes, corn, and cranberry sauce) ready at the new house. All my stuff was set up in my new room. The only thing I had to do was adjust. That weekend we went out to celebrate Mother's Day at a nice restaurant, and in that month, my dad and I enjoyed the final Johnny Carson show together. Well, that was May.

   The summer was spent somewhat well, with my mom and I taking extension courses at UCSD...she went for paralegal and I went for screenwriting. Nothing ever came of either, but I did get to practice a new craft and it got me writing a bit more. Apart from that, I had no wheels, so my mom or dad had to cart me around. It wasn't all that fun and mostly I was staying up late and sleeping in late.

   In the fall I took some really dis-spiriting jobs as a vacuum salesperson, product demonstrater at Price Club (later Costco), and advertising flyer deliverer in Rancho Bernardo. The vacuum gig, failed as it was, got me more oriented with the San Diego area, but that was about it. My cousin giving me her old Nintendo didn't really help me much. In fact, it isolated me more and it wasn't healthy.

   My Aunt Terry had gotten married (or rather remarried) to a nice Finnish guy and he and I got along great. In fact, I'd say Pekkah Taipale was probably the best friend I made in my time in San Diego. With him in town were his two sisters, a brother in law, and some other remote family members we got to know. 

   In early 1993, my mom finally found employment at a college library and my sister got married up in Ridgecrest where she was stationed in the Navy. Apart from another extension course (in Spanish) and a short term job putting together a dollar store that lasted a couple weeks, I wasn't making much social progress...or financial or anything else.

   Then came May and I had established residency...that meant getting me back to school! A new era had begun. I didn't really make permanent alliances while at Miramar College, but I was focused for the first time in a while, and I did meet some good classmates in all the semesters I was there (4 semesters total). College also meant being around females more often. That was definitely healthy!

   On school days, I would drive to campus listening to The Doors, attend a class or two, maybe head home for lunch and a nap, then go back for more. I also found a really good Chinese place for lunch in that time...the Quik Wok. It was there that I found a scrumptious garlic chicken dish that was to become my staple for a year.

   Besides a tour of college campuses in northern California and a soul-refreshing visit to Pennsylvania for New Year's, school was dominant focus and as I had chosen Sonoma State, my pursuit of good to great grades increased.  In the summer 1994 semester, I even made the dean's list!

   I seem to deviate from the San Diego topic here, but aside from school in that second year, I didn't really see much aside from our house where I did school work, wrote a bit here and there, and ate and slept, and the Miramar College campus, I didn't have much else...until I found the beach!

   It does sound strange that it took me nearly 2 years to find the jewel that San Diego really was! I don't even remember how it happened or exactly when, but one day I drove around and came upon a parking lot for Torrey Pines State Beach. It was free, so I parked, walked all the way up to Del Mar, then back. The next time, I did the same but had a beer or 2 at a local pub, then walked back. Aside form Quik Wok, I had a new pastime. Actually, I came to the beach more than I was downing garlic chicken after a while. 

   As Sonoma State approached, I did the beach a lot more. I hadn't made any permanent alliances at school, though I was sort of becoming a groupie/friend of sorts with a local metal band (one of its members was a classmate). Female pursuits hadn't really materialized, and when you're 21 and living with parents and unemployed, there's not much of a draw.

   My departure for Sonoma State pretty much ended my 2 year experience in San Diego. I did go back for holidays and visits and still do occasionally. In those ensuing years, my parents divorced and found new loves and eventual marriages...and my mom lost her second husband. 

   Our most recent visit was brief due to budget, but we stayed in Encinitas and did some beach time while visiting with my dad and stepmom in La Jolla for a few hours. I loved the time actually there, but not the travel. The new generation of drivers scares the shit out of me.

   My overall opinion of San Diego itself is positive. It's a beautiful area geographically and it has several microclimates. If you want beach, there's plenty of that. If you want mountains, visit Julian sometime and enjoy some apple pie and coffee while there. If you want desert without casinos, check out Borrego Springs. Inland San Diego where we lived is mostly residential with the necessary retail accommodations, with towns like Lemon Grove, El Cajon, La Mesa, Poway, Santee, and Escondido. My sister and her first husband lived in Escondido for a short time with their first child, and North County Fair was a half decent mall. 

   In terms of traffic, it wasn't bad 30 years ago, but since then, I 5 and I 15 are hell in a handbasket!

   As to my personal memories, they are of loneliness and depression in those 2 years, though less so in year two. Having a variety of connections is key.

Las Vegas: The Land of New Beginnings...Over and Over!

    In the summer of 1988, our family was on a southern California vacation, and my dad decided to take us to Las Vegas in the middle of it. What I remember of that desert drive is the lonely long stretches on Interstate 15 after we left the Victorville area. There were Barstow, Yermo, and Baker of course, but in between were vast stretches of gold and brown loneliness. Las Vegas, of course, was a true desert jewel! Lots of dazzling lights, not many skyscrapers then, many restaurants, and the promise of entertainment at every facility. There were NO promises of riches, only fun and food...which a 15 year old like me enjoyed, even if it was just at the Sahara Hotel pool. One place I remember looking for was the Riviera Hotel as the final season of The Hollywood Squares (1980-81) had been produced there(that's where my mind was then, TV land and roads!).

   We didn't stay long. The next day, we took a drive to Hoover Dam so my dad could see all the engineering marvel of it. I wasn't all that interested in that part, though the view from the bottom was pretty neat.  After the tour, we headed back to the the megalopolis that was Los Angeles.

   Who knew or could have even guessed that I would be living there in 14 years?

   Before Las Vegas, I had been living in Sonoma County, California, mostly in Santa Rosa, for 8 years. When I learned that the Clark County School District had hired me, I was thrilled, but also had a LOT of preparing to do, mostly mental preparation....getting ready to live in a new place in a new town alone was going to take some doing. I was 29 and hadn't really lived alone at that point. My somewhat strange psych-up was watching the 2001 remake of Ocean's 11 many many times. CSI didn't really excite me for the move as well, but there were fun stories on it. 

   In July of 2002, my mom and I traveled to Las Vegas to see my new workplace, Tom Williams Elementary School, and got myself an apartment near Nellis AFB, which wasn't too far from the school at all. It was a hot, humid July weekend, and we had driven in on a stormy Friday night. We stayed at Circus Circus, a pretty decent place actually, for 2 nights. My overall impression was...undecided. I got living quarters taken care of for sure, but a weekend in Vegas with my mom didn't give a reality hint at all...but that was soon to come.

   Three weeks later, my dad and I arrived at the Nellis Oasis Apartments in the early afternoon of August 2, 2002. We had left Santa Rosa at about 2:30 a.m. and were already zonked from the 11 hour drive. After some time in a nice air-conditioned office signing papers and giving the Oasis people money, we spent a hot few hours unloading my car and his rental truck.

   Unlike the trip with my mom, I had a much different feeling about this one. This was permanent. I had said farewell to my just-one-year-short-of-a-common-law-marriage roommate Scott the previous night. All my stuff was packed up. Apart from Scott, I hadn't really made any firm connections in Sonoma County. temp jobs and substitute teaching made daily money but were lonely jobs in nature. Dating had been pretty slim and unfulfilling, too. 

   After we finished unpacking, my dad and I went in search of some good food and perhaps a beer. Las Vegas Boulevard in North Las Vegas did not have attractive selections, most looked seedy or just plain fast food. We went further down and finally saw an attractive sign: Tony Roma's at the Stardust! We were there, dude! A couple beers and some ribs and we were ourselves again. Back at my new apartment, Dad just sacked out on the floor as I slept in my bed. The next morning he was up before dawn, wrote me a check to get some basic supplies, and he was gone. I never saw or heard him go.

   I think that's important to note because when I did wake up, I was truly on my own for the first time in my life! It was an exciting feeling...a scary one at that! It was just me and my stuff and there was some organizing to do for sure, but the first order of business was breakfast and a plan for the day.

   After filling up at a nearby Chevron for $1.43 (yay 2002 prices!) I asked the clerk for a tip on good breakfast. He recommended the Blueberry Hill on Las Vegas Blvd. across form the base. I went there, loved it, and ended up eating there every Saturday for the next 4 years. After that, I found the Wal Mart close by and did a little stocking up of food and cleaning supplies. That Nellis Wal Mart would be a main store for me for the next few years. Sadly it closed a few years after moving to a new neighborhood. The crime had gotten pretty bad around there.

   The rest of that day was spent organizing the living room and dining room areas, mostly my videos. It was all VHS at that point, I had not yet acquired a DVD player at that point. The next day, I wanted to explore a bit more. A movie sounded good. After looking at the newspaper listings, I decided on Austin Powers:Goldmember, playing at the Regal Theatres at Texas Station. In Vegas terms (as I would soon learn), it wasn't that far away.  

   Texas Station itself would be a main movie venue for me in the years to come. They had a good food court, the theatre itself was pretty big, I occasionally enjoyed some slot play, and there was a good basement level bowling alley. The buffet also was enjoyable. Overall, there was a basic hominess, aside from the constant cigarette smoke, in the place. Until COVID hit, it was a pretty regular place for me and Vickie.

   As time went on, I saw many changes to the Strip. The Riviera, Sahara, and Stardust all eventually went away, as did the "family-friendly" theme that Vegas was dabbling with before I arrived. Seriously, when people on the main drag are giving out hooker flyers near a family-themed venue, the reality sets in, and the fantasy fades away in a blink.

  As I got comfy in my new workplace, I continued to explore my new city and the surrounding desert. I took a drive one weekend around the Lake Mead area, winding up at Logandale and Overton before meeting I 15 and heading back. Another day I went to Mt Charleston and had a drink and snack at the Lodge, which would become a regular destination to get relief from the summer heat as well as an eventual Christmas Eve mecca for me and Vickie. Sadly the lodge burned down last year...that sadness remains with me to this day and I remain hopeful for a new place to premiere before I die.

   I also took a drive to Pahrump one day. I had heard about it from a few people. Pahrump is in neighboring Nye County, and has been known as a legal brothel town. Of course, as time has passed, more families have moved there for more economical living conditions and the brothel life has taken more of a back seat, though they still do exist. I wasn't particularly impressed by the town, but state highway 160 had some scenery as it looped back to U.S. 95 30 miles to the northwest.

   On Friday nights when I was unaccompanied (which were several in the early months), I would sometimes go to the Red Lobster on Decatur, enjoy a meal at the bar, then maybe cruise to the Stratosphere and ride to the top to enjoy Vegas from high up.

   One of my favorite nerdy activities was going to Best Buy at Best of the West on Lake Mead and stocking up on music, movies, and TV show full series on DVD...once I bought the DVD player, I went disc-wild! Probably a bit too much at times, but that's where I was in life.

   In the course of three years, I had many dates though most were one-shots. There were some regulars, some semi-regulars, but I didn't find happiness until I found Vickie in early 2006. At 5'5 and somewhat round in the middle, I was not Captain Stud and did not get to enjoy the empty high-life of constant 1-night stands, clubbing, and buying expensive meals and drinks in hopes of achieving those brief carnal experiences. Somehow, though, I think being me helped to avoid trouble and disease.

   As with any new experience and location, like a penny, time does a lot to dull the shine. New casino hotels replaced the old, new ugly residence towers shot up quickly, and although the Las Vegas Strip is a beautiful gem in the night, in the daytime it is an ugly-looking city. Now, I say that as a RESIDENT WHO DOES NOT LIVE ON THE STRIP! Most residents live nowhere NEAR the Strip, in fact. Most of us live in residential neighborhoods consisting of houses or apartment complexes, with local retail venues supplying our daily needs. Yet on the Strip, especially on weekends (though weekdays are getting just as bad), people come from all over, mostly southern California, on Fridays, get in all their jollies at night, sleep hung over in the daytime, and resume their vampire status later in the day, then go home on either Sunday or Monday if they called in sick. I learned early on to NEVER go to visit my California family on a Sunday, I-15 doesn't handle it well.

   Despite the healthy distance from The Strip, The Strip itself dominates the landscape from almost all angles, almost a reminder of why we as residents get to enjoy BEING residents in the first place.

   As for teaching, I will begin my 21st year in the CCSD soon. I am at my third and favorite school and still enjoy what I do...I just don't always enjoy who I do it for and I don't mean the kids.

   It is not a city for everyone. Early in my teaching career, my school district would hire a few thousand new teachers every year...and often within months, those new hires would run away for their own reasons. Sometimes they realized who they were working for and escaped with their souls, but I suspect most left because Las Vegas is not a place that supports weak constitutions. If you want your green lawn and well-landscaped parks, it's not for you. If you like only occasionally hot summer days, then Vegas is definitely not for you! All that said, I have met many a Las Vegas native and they couldn't live anywhere else, it is home to them. They have a particular angle on Vegas living, and like newbie residents they know where to go to get what they need and want. 

   Las Vegas, like other cities, is what you make of it for yourself. While many are gambling or enjoying the Forum Shops at Caesar's Palace, there are many also getting hardware at Home Depot or Lowe's, or eating at their favorite fast food joint, or bowling, or eating, or just stating home to enjoy the AC. I have been here for 20 years now, and while I can happily say I am a 4-year homeowner, I cannot see myself living here at 70 years old. The water emergency is real, and idiots keep building more and more and don't see the big picture. I see more new beginnings for me down the road, but for the time being, I remain.

   Happy 20 years to me living here!