A year ago I had quite a different feeling, a feeling of YOW, WHY THE HELL IS IT HURTING SO MUCH TO TAKE A LEAK? Granted, that is not a yearly feeling, either. To tell the truth, if I had a choice between this year's and last year's ending, I'd take this year's hands down, because when you have a regular body function go apeshit on you, it can get scary.
I didn't know at this point last year what the pain was all about. I also had no clue what grade I'd be teaching in 3 months. Those 2 elements made for a very sad...and MAD...ending for me. I distinctly recall the morning that I was cleaning my portable for inspection. I was so pissed off about the lack of clarity of things that I went outside and smashed a coffee mug on the pavement to get some frustration out. You know I'm not to be bothered or touched if you see me sacrificing a caffeine vessel to the anger spirits, but that's where I was.
Skip ahead about a month, and I have now learned 2 things. One, I had a kidney stone the size of Lake Tahoe, the second...I was going to teach second grade again. While it was not my first choice (especially since I had done seconds grade for a while previously), I was fond of that age group and was generally ok with it.
Skip ahead another month, and I found out that one of the new people tapped for teaching 5th grade had resigned, so I was sliding into that spot. At first I was leaping for joy...then I was told that the 3 of us would be doing a rotation schedule in which I would be the writing teacher. This one sounded odd. Surely, I know how to write fairly well. Teaching that skill all day long to 3 classes is something else. However, I was excited to do something new.
Another factor in all of this was that I had not done 5th grade for 9 years, which is an eternity when you have a certain muscle memory for grade levels that ebbs severely when you haven't had that workout or routine for such a long time!
In another lifetime, I had done 5th grade for 6 years straight at a different school. Before that, I had done 1st grade, and the transition to 5th was comparable to blocking a tidal wave with a Kleenex. That first year of 5th was hell to be sure, yet it taught me a lot about myself in terms of change and adapting...I'm not that quick at it, ESPECIALLY when making that transition in mentality in a 2-3 week period due to working in a year-round school! Coupled with being in a portable that had the Ford Pinto of air conditioning systems installed and you have grounds for a straight jacket!
However, I got better in time, and later years were smoother. Well, mostly. The last 2 after moving into the new school building had a few problems, apparently, though it wasn't apparent at the time. The last 6 months there came down on me like Thor's hammer seemingly out of nowhere and I found myself opting to leave instead of taking on kindergarten the next year. The exit from that school after 8 years was quiet and cold.
I mention this because those memories came back to me last summer, wondering if I would fare well or say farewell again when the year was over. Those thoughts were interrupted when the kids came in and I had to scramble to introduce the year.
It actually went well overall except for a few snags, which I cough up to experience. One tihng I had to do was take a Google class so I could get Chromebooks in my room, and I did much of this class during my healing week after getting the kidney stone shocked to smithereens. I embraced what I learned well...too well. It grew to my 3 c\lasses doing a lot of work and research on their computers. That is ok and all, but it also put a kink into my connection with the students.
It improved somewhat as the year went on and we moved into the building to improve the class rotations, probably the best move of the year! I had some more class rewards going as well as a grade-wide behavior plan, which helped a lot with a few behavior problems. Then the quarantine began!
It might be too soon to reflect on that objectively, especially since we might be in that situation come August. I will say that working from home creates a lack of balance. When I am at school, I am in work mode and I know generally what I am supposed to be doing. When at home, I am not sure exactly what to do all day besides stay available to kids and parents. Getting up from the computer chair to make myself breakfast almost feels like I am leaving my class to take a walk around the school to get my steps in. Not being able to grade assignments took the accountability away from the kids and parents, though we as teachers were held accountable for maintaining contact with them for attendance purposes. Google Meets with the class members who showed up were awakward.
There really is no substitute for face to face, folks.
In terms of the kids, hey, I enjoyed all three classes!In every class I have ever taught, there are cool kids, smartass kids, argumentative kids, class clowns, sweathogs, and mobile comatose wards! This year was no different except that I had 3 sets of them daily. I have missed our daily adventures and moments these past two months, and the lack of proper sendoff celebrations before middle school are still making me feel ill at ease, particularly since my own daughter Natalie is a victim since she is also finishing 5th grade.
Next year? Like I said, we may be starting at home, maybe not. I am hoping to teach myself how to better teach at home just in case. If we do return to a more normal situation, the tech use will be more balanced to facilitate better teacher-student communication. That is one way I have grown over time, self reflection and taking that in a positive direction instead of mental torture. Been there, done that, won the t-shirt, used it as a stove-cleaning rag.
So here's to a restful summer, here's to an even better next year...and here's to an omelette for breakfast!
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