Ok, it's time to clean out the trash. There comes a time every so often when my head needs to get all the bad ideas cleared out and by golly writing them down is the best I know how to do it. So, here goes.
If anyone has ever seen a Star Wars movie, particularly the evil prequel trilogy that is so full of CGI you have trouble believing Obi Wan is played by a real actor, you might notice the term "Republic credits" being bandied about. Now, your average Star Wars character probably has this currency in some part of their clothing. However, it is noticeable that our mighty and "pure" Jedi have these credits, too.
Jedi? Money? Is it possible that our heroes (if you like the good guys) get paid? Qui Gonn had money to wager for Anakin's freedom and Obi Wan always seemed to have space saloon funds.
My question is, how exactly does the pay thing work? The only way I can see it is through the eyes of a Nevada teacher. Try to imagine a meeting of Jedi, call it a grievance meeting, with the head of payroll led by Master Jedi Jamuel M. Saxon (hey I don't want to get sued here!)
Master Saxon: All right you mother&*%$ing Jedi, this meeting-
Master Note-taker, 2nd degree: Master, this is Star Wars, not Pulp Fiction
Master Saxon: Oh, right. Sorry. All right you weasly Jedi, this meeting is called to order.
Master Yoda: Mmmmmm, get this crap over with we should. Fight separatists we should, mmmmm.
Master Note-taker: Must I write every single mmmm? This transcript will be the length of War & Peace if I do.
Master Saxon: Don't mess with the Yoda. Write everything. Who's up first?
Jedi Fred: I don't know, who's up first?
Master Saxon: You f#$%in with me?
Master Notetaker: Master-
Master Saxon: Sorry, I forgot. Get on with it, Fred
Jedi Fred: That's my issue. All of us regular Jedi never get called by our title, just our first names. We're no longer padawans.
Master Yoda: A bug up your ass you have,mmmmm.
Master Saxon: You have a motion, JEDI Fred?
Jedi Fred: Yes, I move that us working stiffs get called Jedi before our official names.
Master Saxon: Noted. Do we have a second for that motion?
Jedi Sylvester: I second.
Master Saxon (waving his hand): You don't need to second, you're fine with how things are.
Jedi Sylvester: I don't need to second, I'm fine with how things are!
Jedi Fred: Hey! I saw that hand-waving bit!
Master Saxon: What? I was swatting a fly, mother fu-oops, strike that. Fine, from now on, all Jedi will be called Jedi before their names.
Master Yoda: Boring this is, mmmm.
Master Saxon: Anything else before we get to the matter of pay? No? Good. The working stiff Jedi union rep is complaining about the pay scale. He's been complaining for 14 parsecs.
Master Note-taker: Master, a parsec is a unit of distance.
Master Saxon: Yeah and he was griping for that distance on a shuttle flight! There were no Master-class seats left so I had to sit with him in coach.
Jedi Working Stiff Rep: I have legitimate issues!
Master Saxon: No longer! Master Yoda and I drafted a new contract.
Jedi Working Stiff Rep: Really? I can't wait to just sign it without getting all working stiffs' input and approval.
Master Saxon: Let me describe it anyway. This contract maps out the pay and requirements for pay raises according to Jedi development. The current pay for Master Jedi will be raised from 400 to 500 credits per month, as provided by Republic graft and bribery and Trade Federation heists. Working stiff Jedi will receive 300 credits instead of 200 per month. Your pay is guaranteed by fixed pod races on Tatooine.
Jedi Working Stiff Rep: How can we bring that up?
Master Saxon: You follow our script well. Working stiff pay can be brought up within 2 years by participating in any of the following: lectures in broken English by Yoda, assisting in missions led by Master Jedi but not receiving the glory, being duel dummies for the younglings, trying to outdrink Master Kenobi twice a day for a month, and listening to Jedi Skywalker whine. Actually, I'll double the credit on that one because I don't want to listen to him anymore.
Jedi Fred: In addition to this so-called raise, do we get a cost-of-living increase as well?
Master Yoda: Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, barrel of laughs you are!
Jedi Fred: I don't think so. On the last two missions, I had to run like a wuss because I couldn't afford new power cells for my 12-inch saber.
Master Jedi Butthead: Yeah, he said 12-inch saber!
Master Jedi Beavis: Heh-heh-heh-heh-heh!
Jedi Fred: Yeah, you laugh when it goes limp....oh forget it! Speaking of which, how did these 2 become masters?
Master Saxon: Palpatine seems to like them, so you know, whatever he says goes.
Jedi Fred: So what about the cost-of-living?
Master Saxon: Comes out of your tunic.
Jedi Working Stiff Rep: Ready to sign!
Jedi Fred: Don't we get a say in this?
Jedi Working Stiff Rep: You just said something. 'Nuff said (signs document)
Master Yoda: Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, adjourned this meeting is.
Jedi Fred: Now wait a minute!
Master Saxon: You read the Jedi manual, JEDI Fred?
Jedi Fred: Not regularly.
Master Saxon: There's a quote I have memorized from the Qui Gonn section: "The path of the Jedi is surrounded by the evil of the Sith. Strong with the Force is the one who in the name of the Light Side kicks the Dark Side's ass for he is truly the boss. And I will strike upon any with my lightsaber those who attempt to poison and destroy the Jedi Order. And you know my name is Qui Gonn when I lay my vengeance-er, Force upon you!"
Jedi Fred: You going to quote from Snakes on a Plane now?
I truly feel better now. I can't come up with a "Basement Generation" post every time, after all!
Monday, April 17, 2017
Saturday, April 15, 2017
Ely
There comes a time for everyone when, if on vacation, cabin fever sets in. Spring Break always sounds really great, and the first few days are mostly delightful and restful bliss. Soon after, you look around to see the family, furniture, even neighbors have grown vampire fangs the length of a Slim Jim jerky-wannabe. That's when it is time for a getaway.
For us, the getaway was Ely, a pleasant Old West town just 300 miles from home and 60 miles from the Utah state line. The drive itself is quite pleasant although long. After leaving town on I-15 north in late morning, we took U.S. 93 north, but first grabbed a little needed Subway grub since we'd neglected breakfast (common for us on vacay). 93 goes through miles of desert valley surrounded by various mountain ranges. After a while we crossed into Lincoln County. One thing people should know about Nevada counties is that they are HUGE! As the state is so sparsely populated, there is no need for much regional government. 93 is in Lincoln County for 172 miles.
After 38 of those miles, we stopped in Alamo for, you guessed it, a rental car! No, just a bathroom break. After Alamo and later on Ash Springs, there is a decision making point: the long way or short way to Ely, a difference of 45 miles. We chose the long way, meaning we stayed on 93, which veered east for over 40 miles before heading north through Caliente (bathroom and snack stop), Panaca, and Pioche. There is a warning in Pioche: LAST SERVICES FOR 113 MILES! They aren't kidding. While there is now more greenery among the mountain peaks and valleys, there is a definite shortage of people...and traffic. We were lucky to have the road to ourselves for the most part. The one bit of excitement was the crossing into White Pine County. 26 miles later, we hit a cool place. Well, it's cool for a road nerd like myself, anyone else is saying, "ARE WE THERE YET?!" This cool place is where 93 meets the duplex of U.S. 6 and U.S. 50, making a highway triplex for the last 26 miles to Ely. I love these shared roads because eventually they split for their own destinations.
Ely is the place for that split. The first to abandon the trio is 6, which heads southwest toward Tonopah and eventually ending in Bishop, California. 50 and 93 share another mile before splitting. 93 heads north to cross I 80 in Wells and continue to Idaho, Montana, and the Canadian border. I want to explore 93 further one day north of Twin Falls, Idaho.
We'd made reservations at the White Pine Motel. This means that we made sure we had a place to sleep in a pleasant yet aging motel. Nothing special, but not bad, either. Dinner was at the Silver State Restaurant across the street. Once again, not great but not bad, they just need to season the food more. After that it was time to retire for the evening. A nice end to the night was occasional snow flurries. Ely can get this all year!
The next morning, we got up (no kidding), dressed, packed, and headed back to the restaurant for breakfast. They did slightly better at this. Afterward, we went to our reason for the trip: the Railroad Museum. This place is quite a marvel, a wonderful blend of railroad nerd artifacts and history nerd artifacts. The engine house is the jewel of the place, and anyone who is not impressed by the engine collection just has no soul. The smell of oily maintenance just adds to the charm...as well as lung gunk buildup.
We had a special treat there. When we paid for our admission, we were asked if we wanted to be on the train to act as extras in a movie. With nothing else to do, we agreed and boarded the train. The seats were a bit cramped, but it was fun sitting there. After a little while of nothing, the crew started to get things going, and we figured out that the movie was a Bollywood production. The train got hooked up to the engine and we began heading west for 7 miles. The track runs pretty much along 50 into the canyons west of Ely. After a point near a bridge, the train went back to Ely. All along the way, we were listening to the same scene in Hindi being shot over and over again. Some of the actors were amused at the repetitiveness of it all. As for me, the thrill of a train ride and going through 2 tunnels made my day!
After getting back to the station, a lot of nothing happened so we got off. We could have reboarded as they were doing another run, but I was tired of the entertainment biz by then and wanted to see more of the museum. The extras had been promised lunch, but we weren't in the mood for Indian food. We checked everything in the museum out, bought some baubles, and left.
Hungry, we went to the Jailhouse Café downtown. Nothing fancy. You walked up, ordered, paid, and waited for food and drink. Quite the amateur effort. After the lackluster lunch, we drove on U.S. 50 along where the train had run for 6 miles.
Let me diverge a bit here for U.S. 50. It was once a transcontinental highway, running from Ocean Beach, Maryland to San Francisco. As the Interstate system grew, the new routes and pavement negated the need for the old roads and their route numbers. 50 suffered a few casualties, the biggest one in California where it was cut back to end in West Sacramento. It also had a big route change in Utah after I 70 was completed. Instead of following 6 from Green River to Ely, it followed 70 to Salina, where it traversed north to Scipio, then west to meet 6 near Delta. 50 was also duplexed with other Interstate highways in other states and was, occasionally, poorly signed.
U.S. 50 in Nevada is a treasure I want to explore one day. It is nicknamed "The Loneliest Road in America" in this state and rightly so. Interstate 80 made life a whole lot easier for traffic, particularly trucks, when it was completed in the 1980s, making 50 a deserted piece of pavement from Carson City to Ely. A tourism-boosting group devised a challenge for travelers to drive across Nevada on 50, with a book to be stamped in each town. There aren't many. After Carson City there is Fallon, Austin, Eureka, and finally Ely. I don't count the potion of 50 between Lake Tahoe and Carson City as it is heavily traveled and is a divided highway.
As I wipe a wistful tear away, let's return to our trip. Returning to Ely, we refueled (interesting to note that gas stations in Ely use the 85 octane as their "regular" fuel as the area is of higher elevation), then headed to U.S. 6 west...I never go back the exact same way unless necessary. 6 ascends a summit, then heads into a desert valley. It continues this pattern of summits and valleys all the way to California, and could be considered the true loneliest road west of Lund Junction. At Lund Junction, we headed south on Nevada Route 318. This is the short route to Ely. It is more of a straight shot and goes through White Pine, Nye, and Lincoln Counties. It passes through pleasant Lund, then 90 miles later Hiko, along with beautiful mountain scenery and a few passes before rejoining with 93 just north of Ash Springs. After that it was backtracking home.
I love 2 day jaunts like this! Truly the highlight of Spring Break!
For us, the getaway was Ely, a pleasant Old West town just 300 miles from home and 60 miles from the Utah state line. The drive itself is quite pleasant although long. After leaving town on I-15 north in late morning, we took U.S. 93 north, but first grabbed a little needed Subway grub since we'd neglected breakfast (common for us on vacay). 93 goes through miles of desert valley surrounded by various mountain ranges. After a while we crossed into Lincoln County. One thing people should know about Nevada counties is that they are HUGE! As the state is so sparsely populated, there is no need for much regional government. 93 is in Lincoln County for 172 miles.
After 38 of those miles, we stopped in Alamo for, you guessed it, a rental car! No, just a bathroom break. After Alamo and later on Ash Springs, there is a decision making point: the long way or short way to Ely, a difference of 45 miles. We chose the long way, meaning we stayed on 93, which veered east for over 40 miles before heading north through Caliente (bathroom and snack stop), Panaca, and Pioche. There is a warning in Pioche: LAST SERVICES FOR 113 MILES! They aren't kidding. While there is now more greenery among the mountain peaks and valleys, there is a definite shortage of people...and traffic. We were lucky to have the road to ourselves for the most part. The one bit of excitement was the crossing into White Pine County. 26 miles later, we hit a cool place. Well, it's cool for a road nerd like myself, anyone else is saying, "ARE WE THERE YET?!" This cool place is where 93 meets the duplex of U.S. 6 and U.S. 50, making a highway triplex for the last 26 miles to Ely. I love these shared roads because eventually they split for their own destinations.
Ely is the place for that split. The first to abandon the trio is 6, which heads southwest toward Tonopah and eventually ending in Bishop, California. 50 and 93 share another mile before splitting. 93 heads north to cross I 80 in Wells and continue to Idaho, Montana, and the Canadian border. I want to explore 93 further one day north of Twin Falls, Idaho.
We'd made reservations at the White Pine Motel. This means that we made sure we had a place to sleep in a pleasant yet aging motel. Nothing special, but not bad, either. Dinner was at the Silver State Restaurant across the street. Once again, not great but not bad, they just need to season the food more. After that it was time to retire for the evening. A nice end to the night was occasional snow flurries. Ely can get this all year!
The next morning, we got up (no kidding), dressed, packed, and headed back to the restaurant for breakfast. They did slightly better at this. Afterward, we went to our reason for the trip: the Railroad Museum. This place is quite a marvel, a wonderful blend of railroad nerd artifacts and history nerd artifacts. The engine house is the jewel of the place, and anyone who is not impressed by the engine collection just has no soul. The smell of oily maintenance just adds to the charm...as well as lung gunk buildup.
We had a special treat there. When we paid for our admission, we were asked if we wanted to be on the train to act as extras in a movie. With nothing else to do, we agreed and boarded the train. The seats were a bit cramped, but it was fun sitting there. After a little while of nothing, the crew started to get things going, and we figured out that the movie was a Bollywood production. The train got hooked up to the engine and we began heading west for 7 miles. The track runs pretty much along 50 into the canyons west of Ely. After a point near a bridge, the train went back to Ely. All along the way, we were listening to the same scene in Hindi being shot over and over again. Some of the actors were amused at the repetitiveness of it all. As for me, the thrill of a train ride and going through 2 tunnels made my day!
After getting back to the station, a lot of nothing happened so we got off. We could have reboarded as they were doing another run, but I was tired of the entertainment biz by then and wanted to see more of the museum. The extras had been promised lunch, but we weren't in the mood for Indian food. We checked everything in the museum out, bought some baubles, and left.
Hungry, we went to the Jailhouse Café downtown. Nothing fancy. You walked up, ordered, paid, and waited for food and drink. Quite the amateur effort. After the lackluster lunch, we drove on U.S. 50 along where the train had run for 6 miles.
Let me diverge a bit here for U.S. 50. It was once a transcontinental highway, running from Ocean Beach, Maryland to San Francisco. As the Interstate system grew, the new routes and pavement negated the need for the old roads and their route numbers. 50 suffered a few casualties, the biggest one in California where it was cut back to end in West Sacramento. It also had a big route change in Utah after I 70 was completed. Instead of following 6 from Green River to Ely, it followed 70 to Salina, where it traversed north to Scipio, then west to meet 6 near Delta. 50 was also duplexed with other Interstate highways in other states and was, occasionally, poorly signed.
U.S. 50 in Nevada is a treasure I want to explore one day. It is nicknamed "The Loneliest Road in America" in this state and rightly so. Interstate 80 made life a whole lot easier for traffic, particularly trucks, when it was completed in the 1980s, making 50 a deserted piece of pavement from Carson City to Ely. A tourism-boosting group devised a challenge for travelers to drive across Nevada on 50, with a book to be stamped in each town. There aren't many. After Carson City there is Fallon, Austin, Eureka, and finally Ely. I don't count the potion of 50 between Lake Tahoe and Carson City as it is heavily traveled and is a divided highway.
As I wipe a wistful tear away, let's return to our trip. Returning to Ely, we refueled (interesting to note that gas stations in Ely use the 85 octane as their "regular" fuel as the area is of higher elevation), then headed to U.S. 6 west...I never go back the exact same way unless necessary. 6 ascends a summit, then heads into a desert valley. It continues this pattern of summits and valleys all the way to California, and could be considered the true loneliest road west of Lund Junction. At Lund Junction, we headed south on Nevada Route 318. This is the short route to Ely. It is more of a straight shot and goes through White Pine, Nye, and Lincoln Counties. It passes through pleasant Lund, then 90 miles later Hiko, along with beautiful mountain scenery and a few passes before rejoining with 93 just north of Ash Springs. After that it was backtracking home.
I love 2 day jaunts like this! Truly the highlight of Spring Break!
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