All right, that's it! I have decided once and for all that I am going to get off the current timeline that is 2014. After all, what is the point? The economy continues to tumble, various terrorist groups have the U.S.A. in their sights, and health care is a huge mess. My career is ok right now, but I don't wish to anticipate the strange changes coming down the pike before mandatory retirement (wearing Hanes briefs on my head during the Pledge of Allegiance as a professional responsibility doesn't seem so far-fetched anymore). No, it is time to leave.
What, you weasel-faced scavenger? No, no, no, I am unwilling to give my life so that the government can recycle my social security number, it's been mine for 30 years! I have a much better plan, although it will take some planning, money, consultation from Christopher Lloyd, and an absurd belief in the impossible...I am going back to my birth year of 1972.
What was that you asked, you simple-minded twit? Once again, no! I am not on some self-reflective panty-waisted journey to my childhood to make sure I don't get circumsized! This journey makes complete sense!
Ah, you see it now? No? OK, for one thing I have no intention of meeting any of my family members or talking sense into my child form, it would probably kill me or at the very least get Howard Cosell appointed as CIA director! I completely comprehend the risks of personal interactions. I figure if I take 2 months salary with me to 1972 to build on, I can spend the rest of my life in paradise! I know, a lot say you can't go back. Well, yes I can, because I never truly experienced the 1970s in a cognizant manner. I was 7 when the 80s dawned, so I can experience something completely new. The advantages here to my man-cave mentality are almost endless.
1. Music. Having seen the decline of pop and rock to a demonic, industry-neutered lame form for 20 years, 1972 is a good year to start from. I can get a decent hi-fi stereo set and get all of the rock/ pop I truly enjoy and cut out the crap. Plus, 1972 radio has no "oldies" stations, it is music of the time in its different genres. I can experience Wolfman Jack, The Midnight Special, contemporary concerts with more reasonable ticket prices. And as time moves on, I can re-experience the 80s (in my 50s) music all over again and retire in 1992 with all of my likes and leave the dislikes behind.
2. Teaching. I truly love my job in terms of teaching young minds through my unique comedy style. I can still do this in 1972, but without the current pressures. I can show films, filmstrips, crank out dittoes, supervise my kids during morning recess, and just teach what their minds can handle. Plus, field trips were more frequent. Yes I know, the pay is lower then, but if I already brought 2 months salary back with me, it was already enough to live on then. Also, I know that report cards and lesson plans are still handwritten, but it is a small price to pay.
3. Television: Anyone who knows me understands that I am a lover of old TV shows, 60s and 70s particularly. The cool thing is, in 1972, I already get a mix of the old and new. My favorite games shows are still in vogue, especially "The Hollywood Squares". Also, "The Bob Newhart Show", "All in the Family", "MASH", and "The Mary Tyler Moore Show" are already in their weekly prime. My nights for TV favorites would be set as I corrected papers. Saturday Night Live in 1975 would be another fun weekly treat. AND, I can catch The Edge of Night daily from the CBS run!
4. Movies. Like TV, I know what's coming down the pike already and can plan accordingly. It'd be nice to see "The Godfather", "Dirty Harry" series (most Clint Eastwood movies for that matter) on the silver screen.Reliving the magic of Star Wars in 1977 would be something all over again.
5. Consumer prices. I've done the research. I know which cars were good for gas consumption, I know what the gas prices were. I know what food went for. Historical knowledge comes in handy here and I can just chuckle at people's complaints, knowing that it only got worse as time went on.
6. Travel. Since gas was so low, airfare was cheaper then. Plus, driving around the country would be fun. The Interstate Highway system was not quite complete, so I could enjoy 2-lane roads better (trust me, seeing America this way shows you more). I can see some of my old towns of residence in a 1972 view: Reading PA, Wilmington NC, San Diego CA, Santa Rosa CA, and my current home of Las Vegas! What an education that would be!
Now, there are other issues to consider. I am a male in his early 40s experiencing the joys of high blood pressure, cholesterol, triglycerides, and now gout. I still have to watch my food and beverage consumption in 1972, but there are old, now bygone eateries I can try and, more importantly, the diet craze hasn't brainwashed America beyond Tab cola yet. I would have to make new friends as well.
Plus, as I am a technophile, I would have to give up my computer and take up my other loves of books, crossword puzzles, and bike-riding. Small loss. Besides, I would have my family with me, so they could experience the different world with me.
So as you can see, there are lots of advantages to living the "old" life. By the time I got to 2014, I'd be 84, if I was lucky to live that long. I could plan the future better knowing what I already know, by investing in companies I knew to have great growth. Yes, there are other disadvantages I am sure, but they sure have to be better than our current government, health care, and soon-to-come required cotton headgear!
Sunday, October 26, 2014
Saturday, October 4, 2014
Food inglorious food
I will say it right out front: I love food! I love the different succulent flavors that a good meal can bestow upon my palate. I love the aftertaste, too...most of the time. I remember when I could order a HUGE prime rib dinner with all the fixins and have dessert, too. I remember my favorite meal of baked chicken, mashed potatoes, corn, and cranberry sauce could be enjoyed regularly and without punishment. A special treat at Red Lobster of crab legs, salad and veggies would be well-enjoyed. Oh, do I remember the crabfest in 1999 when Scott Catania and I participated in an all-you-can-eat crab leg dinner!
I look upon those days with fondness...and now a little sadness, because it is now a thing of the past for me. :(
As my late 30s came, I was faced with high blood pressure, high cholesterol, high triglycerides, weight gain, and, more recently, a bout of gout. On top of that, the foods I once enjoyed are not enjoying me apparently, at least not all of them. Corn and peas do not really agree with me anymore. Too much beef causes nausea. And other foods cause, well, aromas not sold by Glade!
I will do an Adam Sandler and look fondly back at 1985. I was 13 and could eat anything and everything...which I generally did! Lots of people did! Why? Because there was no stigma about anything really. Well, soda was extremely limited in our house because of the sugar, but then I was someone who worked off the calories on my bike so it wasn't really a problem. My 2 favorite sweets were crumb buns and Tastykake Jelly Krimpets! Coming back to almost 30 years later, I wonder if those Tastykakes are fully exited from my body!
Why was all of this excess happening in me and the rest of the nation? Simple: WE DIDN'T KNOW WHAT WAS GOING INTO THOSE GOODS!! It was not until 1990 (from my readings anyway) that food labels began listing nutrition facts and ingredients. That didn't really faze me at first, because nobody really knew what half the crap was that they listed.
The big thing in the early 90s was how many calories were ingested from fat. This became significant for me in 1993 when I weighed in at a pretty high pound count. It was time to do something and that was...EAT LESS FAT! Really, this was the 1990s healthy eating caveat. And lots of food companies, PACKAGED food companies in particular, came out with more and more LOW FAT and FAT FREE snacking and meal options. I even bought a fat free margarine once and it tasted like disinfectant smells! I also was under the belief that diet soda was healthy.
I lost some weight at this time just from the change in eating habits alone. However, as we have all seen, plateaus will come eventually. I still believed in the low or no fat philosophy. There is still something to this now in me, just from a completely new angle.
I actually lost some decent weight in 1995, not exactly from eating low fat packaged goodies, but from eating a lot of cucumbers in the college dining hall. My parents were splitting and somehow cukes were my comfort food. I ate other things, of course, but cukes and bike riding brought my weight to a healthy level. It stayed that way for a while. In 1997, when I graduated from college, I found myself at a standstill...what now? I didn't feel like finding a job yet and I was eating a lot of crap like M&M's and cookies. In other words, change-in-life depression was hitting me. I've had that at other times since.
Eating and drinking habits went up and down, I occasionally dropped one food and tried another, this went on for a while. In 2003 I was not looking good so I joined a gym and got a trainer. I was feeling better and looking better as well. Well, that was getting old after a year and a half so I left that lifestyle. I know it works for some and I'm proud of them for staying committed, but I am out-of-place there.
I think my current attitudes and philosophies actually began in 2007 when my wife and I bought You on a Diet by Dr. Oz. Within a day, we were tossing anything with high fructose corn syrup or hydrogenated oils away. We both lost 25 pounds within a few months of eating and drinking better and taking walks. A health setback for Vickie (brain tumor) kind of put a halt on those habits for a little while. We also still ate crap when we ate at a restaurant.
And then we come to now. It was all triggered by seeing a pic of myself taken 3 months after starting at the gym and looking at my current self. Something had to be done. I began doing research and was finding disturbing things beyond the hydrogenated and corn syruped evils.
Canola oil is apparently a highly manufactured product that contains petroleum. I had long believed that canola oil was healthy and we even switched from I Can't Believe It's Not Food (er Butter) to actual butter with canola oil 2 years ago. We now just eat whipped butter in a tub...er, we buy it in tub not stick form, get your mind out of my gutter!
Before the Canola crisis, we discovered that the "wonderful" Splenda could be dangerous. Since then, I've read a few articles that down the danger, but I still don't want it.
Farm-raised vs wild caught fish: no more farm raised, too much crap in them.
And then there's soybean oil. I once believed that soy was the vegetarian's glory. Not so sure now. Having read a lot of about GMO and a certain company that rhymes with Tonto, I use it sparingly, which means if my wife makes egg salad or tuna salad with regular mayo, I'll eat it. Other than that I use my own spread. Seriously! I have actually made a palatable (to me anyway) mayo with grapeseed oil and eggs. I have not yet read anything credible disowing grapeseed oil, but I will keep a lookout.
Apart from all that, I have come to highly distrust the FDA. They serve whomever's pockets they reside in and do not represent the People. At the same time, I do not trust every little article I read because they have their biases and I certainly have mine. I therefore trust my own instincts and judgments on whether I will eat a certain food or not. I still believe in moderation but to mainly keep a good healthy regiment of protein, fruits, and vegetables.
Have to go now: the Force has told me of a crabfest! (at Red Lobster, you pervs!)
I look upon those days with fondness...and now a little sadness, because it is now a thing of the past for me. :(
As my late 30s came, I was faced with high blood pressure, high cholesterol, high triglycerides, weight gain, and, more recently, a bout of gout. On top of that, the foods I once enjoyed are not enjoying me apparently, at least not all of them. Corn and peas do not really agree with me anymore. Too much beef causes nausea. And other foods cause, well, aromas not sold by Glade!
I will do an Adam Sandler and look fondly back at 1985. I was 13 and could eat anything and everything...which I generally did! Lots of people did! Why? Because there was no stigma about anything really. Well, soda was extremely limited in our house because of the sugar, but then I was someone who worked off the calories on my bike so it wasn't really a problem. My 2 favorite sweets were crumb buns and Tastykake Jelly Krimpets! Coming back to almost 30 years later, I wonder if those Tastykakes are fully exited from my body!
Why was all of this excess happening in me and the rest of the nation? Simple: WE DIDN'T KNOW WHAT WAS GOING INTO THOSE GOODS!! It was not until 1990 (from my readings anyway) that food labels began listing nutrition facts and ingredients. That didn't really faze me at first, because nobody really knew what half the crap was that they listed.
The big thing in the early 90s was how many calories were ingested from fat. This became significant for me in 1993 when I weighed in at a pretty high pound count. It was time to do something and that was...EAT LESS FAT! Really, this was the 1990s healthy eating caveat. And lots of food companies, PACKAGED food companies in particular, came out with more and more LOW FAT and FAT FREE snacking and meal options. I even bought a fat free margarine once and it tasted like disinfectant smells! I also was under the belief that diet soda was healthy.
I lost some weight at this time just from the change in eating habits alone. However, as we have all seen, plateaus will come eventually. I still believed in the low or no fat philosophy. There is still something to this now in me, just from a completely new angle.
I actually lost some decent weight in 1995, not exactly from eating low fat packaged goodies, but from eating a lot of cucumbers in the college dining hall. My parents were splitting and somehow cukes were my comfort food. I ate other things, of course, but cukes and bike riding brought my weight to a healthy level. It stayed that way for a while. In 1997, when I graduated from college, I found myself at a standstill...what now? I didn't feel like finding a job yet and I was eating a lot of crap like M&M's and cookies. In other words, change-in-life depression was hitting me. I've had that at other times since.
Eating and drinking habits went up and down, I occasionally dropped one food and tried another, this went on for a while. In 2003 I was not looking good so I joined a gym and got a trainer. I was feeling better and looking better as well. Well, that was getting old after a year and a half so I left that lifestyle. I know it works for some and I'm proud of them for staying committed, but I am out-of-place there.
I think my current attitudes and philosophies actually began in 2007 when my wife and I bought You on a Diet by Dr. Oz. Within a day, we were tossing anything with high fructose corn syrup or hydrogenated oils away. We both lost 25 pounds within a few months of eating and drinking better and taking walks. A health setback for Vickie (brain tumor) kind of put a halt on those habits for a little while. We also still ate crap when we ate at a restaurant.
And then we come to now. It was all triggered by seeing a pic of myself taken 3 months after starting at the gym and looking at my current self. Something had to be done. I began doing research and was finding disturbing things beyond the hydrogenated and corn syruped evils.
Canola oil is apparently a highly manufactured product that contains petroleum. I had long believed that canola oil was healthy and we even switched from I Can't Believe It's Not Food (er Butter) to actual butter with canola oil 2 years ago. We now just eat whipped butter in a tub...er, we buy it in tub not stick form, get your mind out of my gutter!
Before the Canola crisis, we discovered that the "wonderful" Splenda could be dangerous. Since then, I've read a few articles that down the danger, but I still don't want it.
Farm-raised vs wild caught fish: no more farm raised, too much crap in them.
And then there's soybean oil. I once believed that soy was the vegetarian's glory. Not so sure now. Having read a lot of about GMO and a certain company that rhymes with Tonto, I use it sparingly, which means if my wife makes egg salad or tuna salad with regular mayo, I'll eat it. Other than that I use my own spread. Seriously! I have actually made a palatable (to me anyway) mayo with grapeseed oil and eggs. I have not yet read anything credible disowing grapeseed oil, but I will keep a lookout.
Apart from all that, I have come to highly distrust the FDA. They serve whomever's pockets they reside in and do not represent the People. At the same time, I do not trust every little article I read because they have their biases and I certainly have mine. I therefore trust my own instincts and judgments on whether I will eat a certain food or not. I still believe in moderation but to mainly keep a good healthy regiment of protein, fruits, and vegetables.
Have to go now: the Force has told me of a crabfest! (at Red Lobster, you pervs!)
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