Rhapsody Slimmed

   Have you ever noticed that there is a time at the end of the school year, like a week before summer is due to commence, there is always a student who is not going to make it out. This is generally not an elementary school problem, more of middle and high school. I have seen memes of this scenario where the parent or student is appealing to the teacher to create a quick and miraculous cure to that failing grade at the 11th and a half hour. It likely goes something like this.

Hello? 

Yes, Mrs. Parker, I got your message later on last evening but it was a bit late to call back.

Well, I got it at 10:30p.m. Anyway, I saw that you're concerned about Karr's grade.

Oh yes, I'm concerned, too. Right now he's holding at a 23%.

No, we don't do the 50% minimum F here.

No, Mrs. Parker, and I can guarantee my principal will back me on this. Karr has not completed any of the class assignments and projects I gave. In fact, I might be giving him too much credit to say he did not complete them, he likely did not begin them, either. In fact, the only reason he is holding a grade as high as he has is because he deigned to come to class and attempt to pass a few tests.

Well, sure he got a couple questions right here and there, but those were review questions from last year's material.

Mrs. Parker, I know he is trying out for every sport there is, but our coaches check their grades before the kids even try out. It's school policy.

No, no, I am not trying to deny him greatness on the athletic field, but he has to earn that greatness in the classroom first. A 70% mimimum is required to try out, even for cheerleaders.

Mrs. Parker, I'm not suggesting that your son tries out for the cheerleading team, my point was-

Yes, thank you for understanding.

You want him to pass. Well, I want him to pass, too. This is his second year of basic algebra and he should have been in geometry.

Mrs. Parker, Karr has a 23% as of today and even if he passes his final exam next week, he won't have a passing grade for the year.

That's right, even if he scores a 100%. I have to give it to you, Mrs. Parker, your optimism is inspiring.

Extra credit? Well, Mrs. Parker, I usually assign that to students who are on the cusp of getting a B or an A and they just need a little booster.

Well, of course everyone deserves an opportunity, I don't deny that. The problem is that extra credit involves a project that demonstrates their understanding of what I've been teaching them all year. Karr has not shown that understanding.

(sigh) Look, this is high school, not elementary. I don't give word searches at this stage, and we're talking basic algebra here. 

How basic? Mrs. Parker, I spent the first two weeks reviewing order of operations and several of the kids, Karr included, couldn't even multiply without a times table in front of them.

Mrs. Parker, there were several opportunities for him to get tutoring and attend summer school, none of which were taken advantage of for his whole time in this district, which would be seven years.

I like my summers, too, and I am about to embark on mine. That said, I do offer tutoring during the month of June, as do other teachers trying to make an extra buck or two.

(sigh) Mrs. Parker, I worry about Karr graduating on time, which would be in two years. Now, how is he doing in his other classes, if I may ask?

He's doing about the same? 

Mrs. Parker, I will confess to you that I was held back in kindergarten, back in the days when the system believed in that. 

If you want to say I flunked, fine. My point is, that extra year of skills reinforcement helped me to grasp new concepts later as they came. Otherwise I might have struggled as Karr has obviously been.

No, it's not a bad mark on his record if he's held back. If the system held more kids back when needed instead of pushing them through, we'd have more genuine graduates with genuine diplomas as opposed to 12th grade exit certificates...which don't even buy a free Big Mac..

All right, Mrs. Parker, you can talk to the principal if you like, but he won't give him a fake pass on this class, either. He'll just push him up like the district tells him to.

Same to you, Mrs. Parker. Bye now.

Can anyone relate to the teacher? Maybe the parent?

End of year Rhapsody

    Actually, my school year ended over 3 weeks ago. Opposed to years past, this school year ended well for me stress-wise, making the beginning of the next school year better anticipated.

   My first year at a new school, my 4th school in fact, could have gone either way. I had made a decision to do whatever it took to make the year positive. Were there a few bumps? Sure, but minor ones, and I worked with a grade level team where communal growth was the theme, a more Kumbaya vibe than I have ever felt in 23 years.

   It was also my first year working for a male principal, a male assistant principal and a female assistant principal. Now, I might rub someone the wrong way here, but I'm used to that. I've found that working for 2 males, at least in this case, was more direct and I was observed many times with constructive feedback. It kept me on my game.

   My class size was never above 18, and the 18 was due to an unruly kid placed in my room as babysitting the last two weeks.

   All right, enough of review. Time for a little of my Bob Newhart-style interplay. 

   Have you ever noticed that there is a time at the end of the school year, like a week before summer is due to commence, there is always a student who is not going to make it out. This is generally not an elementary school problem, more of middle and high school. I have seen memes of this scenario where the parent or student is appealing to the teacher to create a quick and miraculous cure to that failing grade at the 11th and a half hour. It likely goes something like this.

Hello? 

Yes, Mrs. Parker, I got your message later on last evening but it was a bit late to call back.

Well, I got it at 10:30p.m. Anyway, I saw that you're concerned about Karr's grade.

Oh yes, I'm concerned, too. Right now he's holding at a 23%.

No, we don't do the 50% minimum F here.

No, Mrs. Parker, and I can guarantee my principal will back me on this. Karr has not completed any of the class assignments and projects I gave. In fact, I might be giving him too much credit to say he did not complete them, he likely did not begin them, either. In fact, the only reason he is holding a grade as high as he has is because he deigned to come to class and attempt to pass a few tests.

Well, sure he got a couple questions right here and there, but those were review questions from last year's material.

Mrs. Parker, I know he is trying out for every sport there is, but our coaches check their grades before the kids even try out. It's school policy.

No, no, I am not trying to deny him greatness on the athletic field, but he has to earn that greatness in the classroom first. A 70% mimimum is required to try out, even for cheerleaders.

Mrs. Parker, I'm not suggesting that your son tries out for the cheerleading team, my point was-

Yes, thank you for understanding.

You want him to pass. Well, I want him to pass, too. This is his second year of basic algebra and he should have been in geometry.

Mrs. Parker, Karr has a 23% as of today and even if he passes his final exam next week, he won't have a passing grade for the year.

That's right, even if he scores a 100%. I have to give it to you, Mrs. Parker, your optimism is inspiring.

Extra credit? Well, Mrs. Parker, I usually assign that to students who are on the cusp of getting a B or an A and they just need a little booster.

Well, of course everyone deserves an opportunity, I don't deny that. The problem is that extra credit involves a project that demonstrates their understanding of what I've been teaching them all year. Karr has not shown that understanding.

(sigh) Look, this is high school, not elementary. I don't give word searches at this stage, and we're talking basic algebra here. 

How basic? Mrs. Parker, I spent the first two weeks reviewing order of operations and several of the kids, Karr included, couldn't even multiply without a times table in front of them.

Mrs. Parker, there were several opportunities for him to get tutoring and attend summer school, none of which were taken advantage of for his whole time in this district, which would be seven years.

I like my summers, too, and I am about to embark on mine. That said, I do offer tutoring during the month of June, as do other teachers trying to make an extra buck or two.

(sigh) Mrs. Parker, I worry about Karr graduating on time, which would be in two years. Now, how is he doing in his other classes, if I may ask?

He's doing about the same? 

Mrs. Parker, I will confess to you that I was held back in kindergarten, back in the days when the system believed in that. 

If you want to say I flunked, fine. My point is, that extra year of skills reinforcement helped me to grasp new concepts later as they came. Otherwise I might have struggled as Karr has obviously been.

No, it's not a bad mark on his record if he's held back. If the system held more kids back when needed instead of pushing them through, we'd have more genuine graduates with genuine diplomas as opposed to 12th grade exit certificates...which don't even buy a free Big Mac..

All right, Mrs. Parker, you can talk to the principal if you like, but he won't give him a fake pass on this class, either. He'll just push him up like the district tells him to.

Same to you, Mrs. Parker. Bye now.

Can anyone relate to the teacher? Maybe the parent?

Dads

    Well, today I celebrate my 15th true Father's Day....16 if you include the one just a month and a half before we were introduced to Natalie. Nobody ever really counts that one, but the excitement was there. I couldn't wait to meet her!

   So what has fatherhood been like?

   Hell? Sure!

   Heaven? Absolutely!

   There are times when it has been both simultaneously.

   The bad times were usually a direct result of how I was doing with myself. I'm not one who fakes it well. If I'm doing badly with myself, I'm not projecting a convinving mirage to others, especially my own family.

   I look at some of the best TV dads (or at least the ones who TV Guide rated as the best)...some I agree with, others not.

   The one I wished I could be like was Ward Cleaver. That guy had it all: stories of when he was a boy, sound advice, and a pretty good temperament even when he was pissed off...which was often with Beaver, not so often with Wally.

   Jim Anderson was kind of up there with Ward, but way too well scripted for any real dad...you could almost see Robert Young's desire for a few drinks behind that gentle smile.

   Mike Brady was kind of another too-well-scripted dad, never really lost his cool.

   To me, Al Bundy was more well rounded. So was Howard Cunningham. 

   Cliff Huxtable, despite his faults, was also just a bit too perfect for me. And the later scandals involving Cosby explained that facade nicely...or darkly.

   If you want to go frontier, there's always Charles Ingalls or John Walton. 

   So what makes a good dad? 

   Quite frankly, it's about being there emotionally and physically, plus and letting things come naturally. I think it's important to have both, because if one is lacking, there will be a missing element. 

   On one of my favorite shows The Edge of Night, the Whitney's manservant Gunther Wagner seemed to just naturally know how to get along with Raven Whitney's recently returned boy. When Raven's husband Sky asked what the secret was, Gunther told him it wasn't what you do, it's how you do it.

   I couldn't agree more. I think back to all the times when Natalie was an infant and we played on the floor, or when she was a bit older and we played horsey...or even when she climbed into my lap and fell asleep. Or all the times we rode in the car to school. Most of our car chats were good, some of them were not so good. But the not so good chats led to better ones later. 

   There was a time a couple of years ago when our relationship wasn't as good as it should have been. It wasn't until some sessions on a shrink's couch and me watching Inside Out 2 that I understood that my bad times were really affecting her, so I made damn sure I was going to do better.

   Sometimes I think of all those baby daddies who never get a chance to meet their kids, either by their fault or mom's fault. As a teacher, I can see usually who has had the benefit of having moms and dads on board with their upbringing. It makes the teaching a ton easier.

   Maybe it's nerdy me, or maybe it's just coming into the marriage/family era of life a bit later (my 30s), but I cannot picture making a child and not wanting to be part of its life in a personal one on one way. I kinow there are a ton of guys out there who are merely seed planters, and I wish they'd plant trees or tomatoes, but not their own seed, because in many cases they have helped spawn unbalanced kids...not always, but in many cases.

   I'm proud to be a dad and I will feel that way right up until my last breath.

   I love you, Natalie!

Fletch Revisited

 Recently, I was rereading one of my favorite novels, the 1974 mystery Fletch...that's right, the one that inspired the 1985 movie with Chevy Chase...although I have long felt the role was miscast. I actually bought this copy at the Weis Market in Wyomissing back in 1985, it even has Chevy Chase on the front with a wallet full of fake IDs.

As with most source material, there are subtle and not so subtle differences with the movie adaptation, such as names and events, though the overall plot is the same.

What many people DON'T know is that there were 9 Fletch novels written, with some sequel books featuring his son published in the 90s. The author Gregory McDonald was an inspiration to me when it came to writing dialogue.

So the question is, who is Irwin Maurice Fletcher, known to most as Fletch...as a character?

Aside from being a regular wiseass...

He fought in the marines and earned a Bronze Star in his younger days...which he refuses to collect, even when threatened with unemployment.

He loves the idea of marriage and is in fact married twice, both ending with divorce through infidelity (wife 1) and throwing a cat out the window (wife 2). He later comments to his son that with a marriage also comes two attorneys and beds aren't made that big. He maintains a civil, even friendly to the exes he owes alimony to (never pays), and his exes still adore him.

As a reporter, he believes in the stories he writes and does a thorough job. However, many of his pieces have made him subject to anger and even possible libel due to the hack editing job done by an incompetent editor who earned her job by sleeping with the boss.

Aside from that, Fletch will do ANYTHING for a story, some things which would make a self-pious soul cringe...for example sleeping with a female teen drug addict who needed a place to shack. When she dies from an overdose, Fletch is horrified and more determined to break his story about drugs on the beach, which he does over the head of the incompetent editor. Earlier in his career he also broke a story about an embezzling IRS head by bedding the man's wife and convincing her to get a divorce so she can be free to testify. She leaves the country to wait for him but Fletch only wants the story.

As I said, a lot of moral ambiguity in Fletch, but no more than elected officials in D.C. In fact, he has a strong sense of honor.

A rich man named Stanwyk sees Fletch on the beach and assumes he is a drifter, and asks Fletch to kill him for $50,000 so that he won't suffer from the pain of bone cancer. After a long subtle investigation of Stanwyk, which involves a one-time affair with Stanwyk's wife, Fletch pieces together that Stanwyk wants out of rich society (though with $3 million embezzled) so that he can be with his childhood sweetheart. This plan involves bleaching his hair to look like Fletch, murder and then burn Fletch's body, and escape to Rio with his true love....Stanwyk's moral reasoning being that he has the right to kill anyone who has agreed to kill him.

Fletch is about to do the right thing and walk away...that is until the chief of police (who Fletch had named as the source of drugs on the beach) kills Stanwyk thinking it is Fletch.

This is where Fletch's second life takes effect.

The following morning, he is due in two courtooms for contempt of court regarding alimony, as well as the Marine commandant's office to pick up his Bronze Star. Instead, he takes the money and goes to Rio, where he spends some time learning just how life should be lived...with quality as opposed to quantity.

He later befriends an Italian retired count and helps him learn who stole his vast art collection...by getting engaged to the count's daughter and faking the count's kidnapping and death to draw out the thief who is the daughter. Along the way, he himself is framed for murder by the daughter's accomplice, works with and against a wily Irish detective to get him off the hook, and even returns to reporting at a Boston newspaper for one night as a favor to an old boss.

Occasionally, Fletch's ego blinds him, and he learns that he is not as clever as he thought.

In one book, Fletch is fired for quoting a dead man as being alive (which is revealed later to be the case).

In investigating Stanwyk, he doesn't know that his wife took his picture to find out who he really was.

When trying to solve the murder for which he is accused, he logically lays out his theory to the Irish detective about his landlord's lesbian ex wife, not knowing the detective already had warrants ready to arrest the count's daughter's accomplice in the art theft.

In casting for the movies, I probably would have chosen someone younger than Chase, but that's me.

Overall, Fletch is one of the most engaging literary characters I have ever had the pleasure of reading and rereading.

An Honest Political Aside

 I had a thought. What if something happens to Trump? I am SURE many have been hoping something would happen, that something would have happened last year in his legal proceedings to prevent him from becoming President again.

It didn't happen. In case you may have forgotten, he was running the GOP actively since early 2021, his face and words plastered across online and on-air outlets to make sure we did not forget his existence.

Let's face it: he was going to get back in no matter what, the machinery had locked it in place whether it was Biden or Harris. Harris tried her damnedest in those 4 months but fell short in a lot of areas. Those courtoom scenes and his Hannibal Lecter tangents actually increased his appeal somewhat. He called those little moments "The Weave" even though most of us with a working brain saw he was doing it BECAUSE HE KNEW HE WAS GOING TO WIN, SO WHY NOT FUCK WITH PEOPLE'S HEADS?

ALL THAT SAID...back to the starting question, the big what if?

I have a confession to make: I really have to hand it to Trump because he has created this power of personality cult in a way that nobody can come close and probably will never come close to creating. Not even the biggest social media influencers will have that charisma. Granted, his charisma has attracted the praise and loyalty of white supremacists and other extreme right-wing pockets of American society, but hey, they do cast their ballots

The power is DIABOLICAL to be sure, but it's there nonetheless, and you can whine about his not using his influence for the good of America and humanity in general...because he doesn't care about any of that, he cares about him...and when he goes, there is no more Trump.

And that's my point: if he goes, it's over. Do you think the weasels that we see stand behind Trump during Oval Office media events will be able to prop up JD Vance? No, he has the image and charisma of a grapefruit rind. There might be a movement to put Donald Jr in (or here's a horrifying thought: ERIC!) but neither "heir to the throne" is their dad and NONE of those possibilities would look good on the world stage, not that we're looking too hot right now.

If you look back 24 years ago, when W came in, he had not a friend in Washington, so in came daddy's war/oil buddies to prop him up. I almost felt bad for him at times...almost. Those same war/oil buddies are the same ilk that did a ton of profiteering off of Reagan and are the EXACT SAME TYPES that stand by Trump in the Oval Office, because they are looking good next to him and are likely lining their own pockets as I write this.

If Trump goes, they'll scramble to tell Vance or other heir apparent to maintain the status quo...and then we'll see likely the biggest crash of country one could imagine.

OK...I do believe in equal time...

On the flip side, The Dems aren't doing so hot, either and despite their complaints and all, I do not see anyone rising successfully out of the 2024 ashes as of now. Lots of protesting for sure, but no solid superman or superwoman or Capra-esque caricature is making grand orations to combat the Trump force. It's still a time of wound-licking, and having been in that place personally before, it's pitiful and nobody wants to be around it.

No American who is worrying about the coming future of higher costs and economic recession/depression wants to hear self-pity either. They want a leader who can take them out of whatever hell they feel they are living in, real or imagined.

The Church Life

 "The church is not merely a thermometer that recorded the ideas and principles of popular opinion; it was the thermostat that transformed the mores of society,"-Martin Luther King, Jr.

   I guess one can take that in the positive or the negative. Personally, I do not think it should be one or the other, for I take church in a way that I suppose does not fit in with many people’s perceptions. When I think of church, I think of a place where I can learn more about God’s word, or rather what people have recorded God’s word to be...and yes I do know there is an ocean of difference when it comes to people's ideas. 

   It’s been a while since I entered a church of my own volition. Recently, my daughter asked if I would be willing to attend a local church with her and I said yes, but inside I had some reservations. This is because in my time in Las Vegas, I have attended a total of 2 churches. One was a large facility called Central Christian (that name alone has always bothered me) that I have attended with my in-laws on special occasions. 

   The other was a Mormon church that I attended for a regular service (with a work friend) and a baptism (again work friend-related). The regular service was interesting only in that it was pretty much like any other Christian church I have been to, except there was no offering. In other words, there was no evidence of the polygamy that the LDS culture has been depicted in the media. I know there are “colonies” where that happens but I don’t care to know any more about that than need be.

   This place where I am finding myself drawn to on a weekly basis now isn’t in what I’d consider to be a traditional church building of brick and stone...more like an office building. But the welcoming of any newcomer is felt, almost an exaggerated exuberance if I did not know better. But the pastor is active, loud, and engaging. No way I could fall asleep in that room with his energy!

   All that said, I still have my doubts. There is a strange history of churches I am quite familiar with that does not resonate well with me and never has. Yes, the church, no matter what church it is, wants more in terms of pew-filling, as well as funds to build or fix something or other, along with community service and outreach. I get both of those factors, people and money. 

   What I do not get or approve of is the social pressure and occasional outcasting. Almost every church I have attended has their resident “church lady”, and if you watched Saturday Night Live during the Dana Carvey era, you know who I mean. It is a judgment that is SUPPOSED to be left to the Man upstairs, but instead is taken upon those who feel they KNOW what is right and wrong all by themselves, from what is worn at church to someone’s gossip about who they saw with someone and where they were, to something so petty as how much pepper was put in the pot on soup night in the fellowship hall.

    Then there is the sense of power some churches get. I know I will likely get flak (if anyone actually reads all this, which is rare) for saying this, but the history of sexual abuse in the Catholic Church is disturbing. When a priest has been discovered to be fooling around with an innocent minor and then threatening said minor to stay quiet, said priest is often merely sent somewhere far away where they can begin their dastardly actions once more. Catch the movie Spotlight sometime, it sheds light on this practice.

   I have some vague memories of going to Sunday school at Hain Church in Wernersville when I was little, but I really did not go regularly to church again until I was 16. I don’t remember what it was, but I felt some urge to get to know God. I was always told we were a Christian family but I didn’t see it except on Christmas and even then the connection was vague. Not sure where to go, I got a lead on a church very close by that many people I knew went to, including a girl I really liked at the time (coincidence? You decide!). So I began attending, and also began attending confirmation class once a week. Later on I also got involved in the youth choir. It was a good two years where I got a better sense of Jesus.

   I also attended a church somewhat regularly when I went to school in West Virginia and also later on at Sonoma State, both leaving me feel more than a bit unfulfilled...but then at that point of life I was feeling unfulfilled in a lot of ways.

   I tried church a couple of times in Las Vegas at Central in my early days here before I met Vickie and then again at the same place when her family began attending. I had nothing against that church in itself, though I sometimes felt I was attending a variety show instead of connecting with God. Later on I got wind of some hierarchical doings and opinions there that once more soured me on the church experience.

   And here I am again, this time on my daughter’s lead, attending church. I went without her today, as she wanted to sleep in. As I said, I like the pastor and his speaking charisma. However, I hear much urging to become a member and immerse myself as a total Christian.

   I am not ready for either.

   The past year and some change has been a time of straightening myself out on several fronts. I’m still straightening myself out and probably will until I’m buried or burned, whichever ends up being cheapest.

   There have been many times when I felt God’s presence in my life and other times I did not. He has a huge world to tend to, I am just one of his black sheep in that world, wanting redemption but not sure how to go about it. Until then I will keep listening, and if this church continues to appear positive, I will listen to Pastor Nathan more and see if I fit in anywhere in that place.

Highway Centennial part 1

 I'll bet none of you can imagine what is turning 100 next year. No, not Abe Vigoda, I think he left us some time ago. I am talking about the original "interstate" highway system in America.

(insert Ogre yelling NERD!!!) Yeah I know, I'm not changing my stripes anytime soon.

That aside, this system of highways is still among us. I can name at least one U.S. highway in pretty much any place I have lived. In Berks County, U.S. 22, 222, and 422; In Detroit metro, U.S. 12 and 24; in Wilmington N.C., U.S. 17, 74, 76, 421, and 117; in Sonoma County,CA, U.S. 101; and in good ol Las Vegas, we have U.S. 93 and 95!

And in that system, we have some classics, most notably U.S. 66. It is not formally with us anymore, but we road enthisiasts know where to find it when we need it and want it.

Now, I have a particular fondness for this old system, which has seen many changes over time, had old numbers (like 66) retired, or certain road stretches renumbered. The system deserves a celebration.

With all that said, I must take a little side trip to the more modern interstate system, the one that is red, white, and blue in its shielding deisgn and created by President Eisenhower in 1956. The original design of that system has also undergone changes and expansions...and it keeps expanding!

I have to wonder why. I can see where cases of congestion on 2-lane highways might demand a freeway bypass in some places, but I am seeing expansions where none are really necessary, North Carolina in particular. That state has been trying to create I 73, an eastern leg of I 74, and a southern leg of I 87 that will never connect to its New York parent. Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on how you view it), I 73 will likely stay in NC due to Virginia having no desire to build it on their turf. Perhaps it will just go to Myrtle Beach if South Carolina gets funding.

That's ok, though, there are eastern and western legs of I 76, 84, and 86. But it does go to show that there are periods where some states go freeway crazy. Illinois has probably the most even though one or two seem unnecessary when you look back. Texas is getting into it now with I 2 and 14.

To me, the dumbest Interstate was 99 in Pennsylvania, an obvious case of freeway building just to leave a personal legacy for better or worse.

The reason I bring up the newer system is that I wonder why it is necessary to expand on that one when the older system still gets freeway upgrades here and there. For instance, U.S. 220 could have been upgraded instead of 99 being created.

At any rate, I will be visiting some of these old classics here and there in the next year and a half...or longer, and see what each one brings to the national culture.

Why Me?

    I caught a small snippet of a scene near the end of The Breakfast Club the other day, a movie that could not possibly work unless kids' phones are confiscated, and that would likely end up with the school being sued for violating some form of snowflake right or other...better kept to the 80s!

   Anyway, there is a scene where Anthony Michael Hall's character is asked to write the paper that all five punks were assigned to write. Now, while his character Brian is a good guy who likely did it because there was a temporary thaw of hostilities between the represented student social classes in the movie's second half, it seems to me that there is always some schmuck in almost every group who is essentially the elected one to carry out a task nobody really wants to do.

   I look back to the 1700s, a time of unrest in the then-English Colonies, when there were open hostilities between British forces and colonists who no longer wanted any part of British rule. After about 10 years of cool to heated war, an intelligent and thoughtful man named Thomas Jefferson was ASKED to write what would essentially become the most famous petition for divorce in history, The Declaration of Independence. While we have assumed for a while that Jefferson did this out of a sense of nobility and bravery, you have to admit those heroic moments are more often than not reluctant and done out of some form of guilt trip. I can imagine the conversation between Jefferson and John Adams, the one who requested him to write it, went something like this...

Hello? Oh, hi, John! What's up?

A great honor has been bestowed on me? (sigh)...what the hell do you want me to do?

Write a declaration? Ok, sounds like something you could do yourself, you're so smart. What kind of declaration?

A declaration of independence...from England.

Yeah yeah yeah, I am fully aware of the crap going on up in Boston with the tea and all a few years ago. As far as I'm concerned, Boston Harbor got the worst of the deal. 

You think I'm a good writer. Well, you're no slouch yourself, I saw the pieces you wrote for the Boston Gazette. I mean, they weren't precisely page turners but you can put words together.

Wait wait wait...I get it! You beat me at darts last month and this is my debt because I couldn't pay up that night, right?

Oh, not that. (sigh). Ok well you need to give me some idea of what you want me to say. I mean I know I can write but I'm not about to write to His Majesty half cocked.

Yeah I KNOW I'm requesting independence. So you want me to say what..."Dear King, we want out"?

See? I need something to get this so-called declaration going, for all the good it's likely to do.

No, I don't think something this serious should start with a joke. It's a document, not a pub improv routine!

Hey, this was YOUR idea to have me write this, so unless you give me something to go on, I'm packing for Paris.

Yes, I KNOW I'm good with words, but give me a break. Give me some talking points, if you will.

All men created equal...yeah that might sound hypocritical given I have some unpaid African domestics in my house, but it's a start. What else?

Life, liberty, pursuit of happiness....well, I guess that beats my brainstorm of seven score and fifteen years ago, but it was a bad idea anyway. Good idea!

A list of grievances against the king? I might not have enough paper for the whole list! How about saying his mom wore redcoat boots?

No, you're right. See, YOU should be writing this, you have the best ideas!

(sigh) Why do I feel I drew a short straw without being there? 

Ok, fine, I think I have an idea of what to write...just to be on the safe side, I think I won't be the first to sign it...maybe second or third. Hey, let's get that clown Hancock to sign it, he signs anything just to say he was there, even though he's a bit of a third wheel.

Deal! Now, one more thing...if we're asking for this divorce if you will, we're obviously going to want to be a new country, right?

I thought so...what should I call our new digs?

The United Colonies of Adams? Very funny! Want to be king, too?

No, I don't think we want any more kings. Tell you what, I think I saw a good name in an aticle in the Virginia Gazette recently, something involving states and not colonies.

Right, I'll get to work on it soon. I'd give me until at least late June if you can, the list of crap the King's done is likely to be long. Oh, and one more thing.

If this independence thing is pulled off, and on the off chance one of us gets asked to lead it, I'll bet double or nothing on our next darts match.

Why double? If I win, I get a double term as leader! Bye!

It Was Me, Most Definitely Me

 A bit of an old and painful topic came up a couple nights ago at a New Year's Eve gathering at a friend's house.

For those who don't know, the 2010-11 school year was the worst year of my (so far) 23 years in the CCSD. I was at a new school after an 8-year stretch at my first school. I was excited about the new adventure, but a few factors led to it being the worst. In fact, it was so bad that I took FML for the final month of the year and went through a tough time afterward before I felt good at being a teacher again. I even went back to this school (but put in a different position) for the first month of the next year before voluntarily transferring after count day.

At this gathering the other night was the mom of one of my kids during that torturous year. I vaguely remembered her daughter, especially after seeing her picture. The mom told me her daughter (and other students in the class) thought I left because "they were so bad".

Folks, that one hit me hard. If there is anyone responsible for a year being bad, it is most certainly me. Granted there were factors in my life outside the classroom along with lingering crap form my first school that helped to shape that year into what it was. That said, the buck definitely stopped with me.

I had another bad year that almost matched that one 20 years ago. Once again, it wasn't the kids, it was me and how I approached things. Funny thing about that year...about 5 years ago I ran into one of the 'bad' kids from that year at a store. I shook his hand and gave him a bear hug and admitted my shortcomings that year. Truly, if I'd been more ready for the year (and had working AC in that portable), I would have had a better time with them as a whole. Same with the 2010-11 year.

Back to the gathering...the mom texted her daughter that I was there and the daughter's reply was that "oh no, he probably never wants to see me again". I asked for the mom's phone and texted that it was me and that the person responsible for that year was me, not her or her classmates. As I recall they were a decent group and if the teacher I am now was with them then, the year would have been a lot better all around.

The mom (who is very friendly and good-humored) also told me that the principal that year put me in that different position in hopes that I would quit and told everybody that.

Well, I did not quit and have held on for quite some time.

I have known other teachers who the boss, especially a new one, did not mesh well with and suffered at work and at home, often quitting just to end the torture they were going through.

There are just some people who should not be put in charge of other adults, at least not long-term. When they scheme with others working for them to isolate and alientate the ones they want to get rid of, that's a power trip, not leadership.

Being a teacher, especially nowadays, is a difficult endeavor when there is not sufficient support from administration and parents. Definitely not like when I went to school. Granted, I grew up in a pretty homogenous group, not nearly as diverse culturally and ethnically as where I teach now, but even those homogenous groups are in a different time in history where electronic devices tend to dominate their social interactions and outlooks, even with adequate parental support.

2024 celebrity losses

 Looking back to last year, we once again had so many celebrity deaths of those we have fond memories of, those 20th century gems who faded from our view for the most part as the 21st century dawned.

I'm not celebrity obsessed, but rather someone who enjoyed seeing certain performers on TV and in the cinema. When these people were on, you had the feeling it was going to be a fun watch...or at least they'd probably be the best thing in what we were watching. If not on TV or in a movie, then they helped to define at least part of the times we have lived through. Here goes.

David Soul - A household name thanks to Starsky and Hutch. He was also the leader of a group of rogue cops in Magnum Force. Like David Hasselhoff and other acotrs, tried (thankfuly a brief try) to be a singer.

Joyce Randolph- best known as Trixie Norton in The Honeymooners.

Carl Weathers- that charismatic actor who brought the character Appollo Creed to life. He was also the cool cop Action Jackson, which I alwas thought was deserving of a sequel. I think Weathers could have even played Lando Calrissian convincingly.

Toby Keith- an awesome country singer. He will always occupy at least one of our playlists in this house.

Richard Lewis- a popular stand up comic of the 1980s who brought meaning to the word 'neurotic'.

Brian Mulroney- a former Canadian prime minister...I remember him being in charge when we studies Canada in 6th grade social studies.

Eric Carmen- a decent singer of the 1970s and 80s;

M. Emmet Walsh- a good character actor of many movies, particularly Fletch, Blade Runner, and The Jerk, among many others.

Louis Gossett Jr.- the famous drill sergeant in An Officer and a Gentleman. He played other cool characters in Iron Eagle and Diggstown.

O.J. Simpson- ok, I know his name was mud for his last 30 years, but at one time he protrayed cool and fun on screen, even if his personal life was nefarious.

Roger Corman- he gave us the original Little Shop of Horrors and other B-movie classics of the 60s and 70s.

Dabney Coleman- a classic actor of the 60s all the way into this century! I will always remember him playing obnoxious and snide characters whenever I saw him. 9 to 5, Tootsie, WarGames, and The Man With One Red Shoe made playing bad look fun.

Morgan Spurlock- the man who revealed what a fast food only diet could do to us by adhering to one himself in a grotesque experiment.

Willie Mays (not Willie Mays Hays)- damn cool baseball player!

Donald Sutherland- father of Kiefer, he was a fun presence in several films spanning from the late 60s into recent history. The original Hawkeye Pierce!

Martin Mull- a popular face on TV and some movies. Often obnoxious roles he had, but he made them memorable.

Shelley Duvall- The silver screen's Olive Oyl as well as the terrorized wife in The Shining, both in 1980.

Dr. Ruth Westheimer- her mainstream sex advice and widespread media appearances were a huge part of the 1980s!

Shannen Doherty- the breakout star of 90210 who became tabloid fodder...like many stars.

Richard Simmons- another 80s icon, who made the idea of aerobic exercise fun and flamboyant...just like life should always be!

James B. Sikking- "Judas H Priest, Frank!" was his TV-toned down exclamation on Hill Street Blues for 7 years. He also played Doogie Howser's dad and the humiliated captain of the USS Excelsior in Star Trek 3...among many roles.

Bob Newhart- along with George Carlin, my favorite comedian. He influenced a few of my blog posts with his one side of the conversation style. He was also a talented actor with his low-key self. He once told a producer who questioned his famous stammer that his stammer built him a home in Beverly Hills.

Wally Amos- cookies, 'nuff said!

Peter Marshall- actor, singer, and somewhat reluctant (at first) game show host who made playing the straight man to 9 wise-cracking panelists on The Hollywood Squares look almost effortless.

Phil Donahue- the man who made talk shows with a huge audience popular way before anyone heard the name Oprah. He tackled the funny, the serious, and the controversial with equal commitment. A class act.

John Amos- known as Kunta Kinte and James Evans Sr. on TV, often playing a force to be reckoned with...even when being defeated by John McClain in Die Hard 2.

James Earl Jones- probably will always be remembered for the cyborg voice of Darth Vader but his talents spanned decades.

John Ashton- probably best known for playing Taggart in the Beverly Hills Cop movies, he also had a minor but recurring role on Dallas in its second season and as rival bounty hunter Marvin in Midnight Run.

Maggie Smith- although being a household image to fantasy lovers in the Harry Potter films as Professor McGonagall, she achieved fame by 1969 in The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie.

Kris Kristofferson- he was one of my mom's favorite singers when I was little...every time the 1976 version of A Star is Born was on, she was watching. He also made himself a decent actor.

Pete Rose-a damn great ballplayer, brought down by his own gambling addictions. A personal aside here: other athletes did way worse things than his gambling. I thought the powers-that-be's refusal to let him into the baseball Hall of Fame was too hard-assed.

Teri Garr- I loved seeing this woman on film. She was funny, classy, and damn sexy in whatever role she played, which were many!

Quincy Jones- he composed some of the best TV and film scores of all time!

Chuck Woolery- one of the best game show hosts out there. He never played it wild, but just cool. He got Wheel of Fortune off to a good 6 year start and made blind dates look fun on Love Connection.

Jimmy Carter- I already mentioned him in a previous post, but he proved that being a one term President doesn't define the soul inside. On the contrary, his humanitarian efforts proved what a real man he was.

Linda Lavin- a good actress and singer, immortalizing the TV version of a role created on film.