Now that the southeastern United States has been inundated with 2 major hurricanes, and could potentially get more, I have decided to take it upon myself to prepare our nation for the "big one"...yes, we in Vegas and the rest of the nation need to be prepared for Hurricane Wynn!
Yes, I know that the name Wynn gives the destructive imagery of a newly neutered mutt, but this one will be HUGE.
For those not in the know, a guy named Steve Wynn came to Las Vegas in the 1980s and had a dream: he'd change the image of Las Vegas from a badass gangster-run gambling mecca to tightass yuppie-run gambling mecca and raise prices on everything from shrimp cocktails to 1 bedroom apartments by 10k percent!
I hope we all know what to do in a hurricane! Hahahaha, yeah right! People in the desert and southern California panic when a single errant drop from the sky, often just bird shit, lands on the windshield. They spin out of control and cause traffic jams going from San Diego to Fresno. Then we have the mighty Floridians, who know full well (yet sometimes do not act) how to prepare, so let me put aside my smartassed plot for a moment to remind of basic tips.
1. Grab supplies that will help you should the power go out for a lengthy time. This includes batteries, drinking water, canned and bagged goods, a first aid kit, and a crank radio to listen to emergency updates.
2. Keep your vital documents like deeds and insurance papers handy so you're not footing the entire repair bill.
3. Get some plywood IN THE SPRING to cover those windows when the season actually comes upon you, don't wait until August when everyone is panicking. Also make sure the house is as safe as can be so the waters don't look for trouble at your corner.
4. Back up electronics like computers and phones, preferably on a cloud device FAR AWAY from water central!
5. Above all, have a plan to GET THE HELL OUT!! If you live in an eastern state, you have the luxury of numerous highways and freeways to take you to safer ground. The same goes for Texas, though many did not take Harvey seriously enough. I admire Texas toughness, but often tough and stupid are synonymous with each other in certain gene pools.
OK, back to being a smartass!
Monday, October 2, 2017
The Moore family is ready to get through their final week of stretching a long paycheck, thanks to a stupid credit union's deposit schedule! The fridge and pantry are stocked with enough food to get us through that week, thanks to skillful planning. As I sit to watch Jeopardy with my wife, an Emergency Alert comes on. Hurricane Wynn, a category 7 monster, has pummeled through Texas and it making its way to northern Mexico and the American southwest. Las Vegas is expected to be right in its path within two days.
There are not many options for us, as the Vegas Valley is essentially a 600 square mile flood plain with no drainage systems for a huge storm. The structural quality of the homes and numerous condo and apartment buildings is weaker than many Lego creations I have seen. As the Vegasans were not expecting to ever get hit with this type of storm, a mass panic ensues around town. All Lowes and Home Depots are pretty much looted of their lumber that night BEFORE the storm is even close.
Tuesday, October 3, 2017
I go into work that day, but it is a futile gesture. The classrooms are sparsely populated as parents have essentially taken the doomsday panic option. In fact, we are allowed to leave at 10 after making sure our remaining students are picked up.
Reports of mass traffic jams heading south abound on the radio. We know we're not staying, but heading west or south would just be a disaster. Further reports tell that the casinos will not act as emergency shelters. While it seems cruel, it is also moot. Anyone who stays is an idiot.
As Natalie and I get home, we see three suitcases and Vickie standing outside the door. Packed are our clothes and body cleansing items, as well as some sandwiches and drinks she made quickly. Also sitting there is the pet cage. We are ready.
With just $250 and whatever our other cards can handle, we set out for north as far as we can get. A few drops of rain in Mesquite make us tense a bit, but nothing major. Traffic is mildly heavy, but moving at speed limit. By night we have arrived in northern Utah. The reports are good. We are safe from the storm. If we stay in our car for just one more day, we can make it to family in South Dakota who can put us up until we figure out what to do next.
Wednesday October 4, 2017
The Moores head to South Dakota, to sanctuary. The news reports are grim. The hurricane hit Las Vegas at 4a.m., earlier than expected. Devastation is rampant throughout the valley. The Stratosphere toppled as well as The Trump and The Palms. The Hoover Dam has sustained severe damage. What is worse, however, is the casualty rate among those who fled at the last minute. Interstate 15, U.S. 95, and U.S. 93 southbound are all disaster areas. Many overpasses crumble under the force of Wynn.
Wednesday October 10, 2017
The Moores return to Las Vegas, but only for a short time. The apartment complex is relatively fine, but water damage is everywhere. What we left behind is beyond repair. Luckily, our neighbors made it to safe haven beforehand. Vickie's mom and brother and his family all toughed it out together and made it. However, the mass exodus out of town has made things uncertain for the valley. Many stores have been looted for what people could get. The damage sustained on buildings, highways, and the dam will take long to assess and repair. The CCSD has not made plans to reopen as yet due to school damage and low student populations. Fear is in the air. Renowned media religion hacks are calling it the time of reckoning for the City of Sin.
Ironically it is the most pleasant day in quite some time weather-wise.
We head back to South Dakota for an uncertain future. One thing is sure, we are leaving nothing behind of great value. They were just things, and we have each other always.
OK OK this is unlikely to happen, though I enjoy the parallels between the hurricane name and the damage it brought to Vegas. My point is that when a disaster is impending, don't wait until the last minute to make sure you and the family are safe. It doesn't take much in terms of time and money, and you will be better off in the long run!
