Being married for over 7 years now, I find myself in an uncomfortable position. Someone really wants me yet the feeling is, of course, not mutual. I've been trying to resist their advances, but the party in question is VERY persistent. I've been trying to cut all ties but the persistence stays. For those of you who may be in the same situation, let me warn you, it is hell.
What? Oh no! No no no, I'm not talking about another woman. The last time I thought another woman was looking longingly at me was just a ruse to get my parking space after I backed out. This situation is much more serious, possibly dangerous. Yes, you guessed it, DirecTV will not let me leave them.
We were seduced by the dark cable provider almost 2 years ago in a deep dark corner of Sam's Club. They wanted to sway us to the Direct side and succeeded with a low rate for a year. Being the tightwad I am, it was an easy lure. However, I soon learned that my new provider was not endowed with 2 big, sumptuous classic TV show channels (AntennaTV and MeTV). My new provider refused to get an enlargement... and then began costing me more money after a year. It began to think it owned me. Well, finally I had enough and decided to return to my ever-forgiving old provider Cox, who was well-endowed but cost just a bit more for the big package. It's ok, they know how to satisfy me. Sometimes bigger IS better.
Well, DirecTV was not going to let me go without a fight. They pleaded, begged, even stalked my wife on the phone. When that didn't work, they started following me around in a not-so-subtle van. When I got to the store, they pulled me inside by force, where I talked to their head "agent" who tried to make me a better offer. They soon tied me up and began forcing me to watch one of their 24/7 informercial channels, breaking down my resolve. Luckily, a Cox van pulled up and their team eliminated the Direct team judicously. From then on, until Cox got fully reconnected with us, they provided us with 24/7 protection. DirecTV, realizing they'd lost us, smiled seductively and said we were welcome back anytime.
If only it were that fun! No, unfortunately, we consumers are left to our own wits when trying to change from one thing to another. However, it does seem that the TV provider industry is like women with low self-esteem fighting for the same man. Imagine if this transferred to grocery shopping.
Picture yourself walking down the spaghetti aisle and trying to get some sauce. You've been using Ragu for years faithfully, and there's a Ragu rep standing by his cans. However, you look at the Prego sauce and realize that the ingredients are simpler and not filled with a bunch of useless and maybe dangerous ingredients. Soon, the Prego and Ragu reps begin pulling you in 2 different directions. When you wrench free, they begin a fistfight right in the aisle, sauce flying everywhere when jars begin to be hurled.
Sound ridiculous? Well, if the cable/satellite industry is any indication, I think the competition for loyal subscribers/users/junkies in ANY consumer realm will reach this point. The fast food wars ought to be a riot on streets where every franchise is within a mile of each other. Anyhow, I have to go now in my Volkswagen....before the Chevy dealership starts to follow us!
