Desert, anyone?

   Having lived in southern Nevada for a while now, I would guess that a lot of people I know/knew in Pennsylvania don't really get what desert driving is like, especially on a long drive. It does take planning. Unlike Pennsylvania (and I guess California to a good extent), where you can gas up and get food every few miles, Nevada is a different story.

   There was a movement about 20 years ago to boost tourism in Nevada, labeling U.S. 50 as the "Loneliest Road in America", and it was for good reason. U.S. 50 is not heavily traveled, since it does not connect any major cities in the majority of its trek across the barren desert. It does hit Carson City and southern Lake Tahoe, but those areas also have nearby connections to bigger roads like U.S. 395 and Interstate 80 (which IS heavily traveled). 50's last major town heading east is Fallon (not far from 80) before it goes into the barren landscape of valleys and mountain summits in Nevada and Utah. Well, U.S. 95 is similar, although it does provide the ONLY direct route between Las Vegas and Reno.

   My wife and I like cooler temperatures in the fall and winter. It's how we grew up, and a cold winter, in my opinion, wakes up the soul a bit. Other people in Las Vegas do not feel that way. People who were born in Vegas cannot imagine living anywhere else (we can all dig that home spirit, can't we?) and people who moved here to escape any real winter ( like my mother-in-law) avoid any scrapes with winter unless Vegas is hit with it once in a blue moon. Well, not too long ago, Vickie and I took a road trip to Reno. One reason was a couple's getaway and the other was for a short foray into cooler climes.

   Like I said, planning is essential, so we got road food and a gas fill-up in NW Vegas before escaping into the desert. It doesn't take long. After the turnoff for Mt. Charleston (many Vegasans' will go there for 15 minutes of real winter), U.S. 95 goes into the empty desert. A mileage sign after the mountain turnoff says it all: "Indian Springs: 26, Beatty: 99, Tonopah: 193". This is how desert driving is: you plan for a hundred miles at a time, then reassess your needs. Indian Springs isn't a real stop for anything but a quick snack if you didn't eat before...and the gas prices are atrocious there!

   OK, back to the wilderness, not that Indian Springs was a respite. About 20 miles later, we enter the LARGEST county by land size in Nevada:Nye. Nye County is not only huge, but it plays into the national legend of Las Vegas and legalized prostitution. For the record, nowhere in Clark County (where Vegas is located) is prostitution legal. One must venture into Nye or another rural county to find that luxury. Spread out in Nye are a collection of brothels where one may shell out $200+ for a cheap thrill. Having never the eagerness or spare money for it, I'll leave it at that.

   U.S. 95 turns into a 2-lane road shortly after entering Nye County, and will stay that way for most of our voyage. We pass by a junction for NV 160 which heads to Pahrump (brothel center), then 17 miles down the road is the Amargosa Valley oasis, providing a link to Death Valley, and good for gas at a decent rate, a diner, convenience store and the Bunny Ranch (all owned by the same guy). We don't stop yet, and continue to Beatty, which provides another junction to Death Valley. Beatty is also one of many 25mph speed traps on 95 (the first was Indian Springs). Moving along, we see more desert, encounter another access to Death Valley, and then enter Esmeralda County. It's nothing special, just another desert county. However, its county seat, which we pass through, is Goldfield (where we hit some snow flurries)...a fascinating collection of old buildings with a small population. We figure if someone wanted to truly restore this town to prior glory, tourism may build. However, since 95 is in the middle of nowhere at this point, it's an iffy proposition. Thirty miles later, we hit Tonopah (speed trap), 94 miles from Beatty, where we re-enter Nye County briefly. Here, we do our first pit stop, grab some snack food, then move on.  Tonopah is like Goldfield, but with more business to support it, since 95 and U.S. 6 meet up here for a 41-mile fling.

   Once Tonopah is past, we re-enter Esmeralda County where 6 and 95 are a series of long straightaways. The sunset is beautiful on this stretch with a small bit of sunlight hitting the many clouds with a kaleidoscope of pinks, purples, and reds. 95 turns north later and after a bit, enters Mineral County, even though we didn't feel quite fortified. Nighttime truly hits us here, and far down the road is Hawthorne (speed trap), roughly 100 miles from Tonopah. Here, we need to touch up on gas, and it comes at a cost. The cheapest was $3.93/gallon, and the most expensive was a Shell at $4.37/gallon. No major junctions here, that's why, just an Army depot. Moving on, we traverse Walker Lake, invisible to us in the dark.

   After the lake-hugging is done, we hit a major junction for U.S. 95 Alt(ernate), which heads west to Yerington, then north to meet I-80 in Fernley. This is actually considered a link to Reno and Carson City, albeit a longer one, since it also provides access to U.S. 395 WAY down the road in the Sierras via other highways. We continue on 95 for 39 miles more, hitting Lyon County briefly, then Churchill County where we reach Fallon (about 70 miles from Hawthorne) and U.S. 50.  We hit more snow flurries approaching Fallon, which in the dark makes it look like you're in hyperdrive in space (pretty cool if you think of it that way)! We take 50 west to Alt 50, taking us to Fernley and I-80, which we take for the last 33 miles to Reno, hitting industrial and older-looking Sparks on the way.

Let's review: we drove almost 450 miles hitting just a few towns: Beatty, Tonopah, Hawthorne, Fallon, Fernley, Sparks, Reno). If you live in the East, 450 miles could mean several states passing MANY towns. Even a turnpike would provide gas and food on an average of every 20-30 miles there. The desert is a land of planning to survive or get stranded a long ways from any people.

Coming back, we stopped at Jerry's cafe in Fallon for breakfast, a true locals' diner NOT IN A CASINO with decent food, something Vegas lacks. I decided I could live in a town like that...if I really want the desert, I can just go east a few miles. If I want to see the Sierras, they're a mere hour away, as is Lake Tahoe (superior in every way to Lake Mead). Also coming back, we saw Walker Lake, which is pretty in its remote setting. We stopped in Hawthorne again for gas, Tonopah for bathroom and coffee, and then in Amargosa Valley for a bite to eat at that diner next to a brothel.

The places we see and stop at have never ceased to amaze me. We're not a Denny's family if we can help it, we want to see the living and the beautiful...and sometimes they come together but not often. If you come to Nevada and really want to see the state, leave Vegas for a bit and head north. Otherwise, stay, spend your money, wear your goofy touristy t-shirt and oversized drink and go home. As for me, I'll take true desert life for a bit. I've lived in Vegas for over 10 years and it's easy to weary of the fakeness here. A slice of desert ala mode with coffee, please!

The dark side...or a hemmerhoidal werewolf?

Again we enter the climax of another election season. And, yet again, I stay entirely apolitical about it. I have to. There's no way I can take sides in it...partially because I have no belief in either of them and partially because, well, I DON'T KNOW EXACTLY WHAT THEY STAND FOR!

Let's think back to 1984...the last election I vividly remember (well, I vaguely remember 1980, but all I remember is Reagan delivering a beating most men couldn't withstand, and Carter withstood nothing). No, 1984 was easy: Reagan stood for Republican American commie-fighting goodness while Mondale stood for evil taxation...and Reagan delivered another solid beating.

1988: Reagan's quiet veep vs. a tank-riding weenie. I think we all foresaw 4 great years of Saturday Night Live with Dana Carvey as Bush...nuff said.

1992: Bush vs. Clinton vs (at times) Perot. Frankly, I was prepared to vote for Perot until he dropped out unexpectedly. Carvey was leaving SNL soon, and by 1992 the comedy was long over.

1996: Clinton vs. well, a major Republican jackhole. Clinton was doing well, it was a solid decision.

2000: I'm still troubled by this one. I feel that we'd be in a different place if Gore (who I voted for) had been declared winner. It'd be nice to imagine no 9/11, but that's no certainty It'd be nice to imagine the economic prosperity would have continued a bit longer. OK...I'll move on before sounding too much like John Lennon.

2004: OK, I'll admit it, I voted for Kerry, and that may have been a mistake. I just knew I didn't want 4 more years of Cliff Barnes in office, but that's what we got anyway. I thinik this is when I felt things were murky: evil or a lesser evil. I thought I chose a lesser evil and I'm not sure that was the case (and we never will)

2008: Murkier now: in many ways a repeat of 1988, but now it was a choice of a continuation of politics we didn't like or the tank-driving weenie. For some reason I chose the guy in the tank (Otis the Drunk from Andy Griffith would have been the better tank guy choice, though).

And now we come to 2012 and I don't know what to think. Today I went to get the mail and we were bombarded with political ads, and they often canceled each other out. Example: we have Shelley Berekely running for dog catcher...that or Senator from Nevada, there's not much difference. One ad shows her in a positive, take-charge stance and the anti-Berkeley ad makes her look like a werewolf with hemmerhoids! It's the bad marketing that clouds what these people are REALLY about.

 I mean, I could see myself running for office, say, Galactic Overlord in charge of Velcro distribution. All of the positive ads would have me standing proud, looking straight at the camera with a smile and Burger King Whopper juice dripping down my chin to show my patriotism, and the negative ad would be some shot of me that my daughter Natalie took of me while I was sitting on the crapper, making me out to be an agent of the Dark Side...with hemmerhoids! I could have shown the universe that Velcro is the glue that binds us and the galaxy together, but the shot of me "concentrating" would cloud my whole campaign.

So, tomorrow (or today which is the most likely), when you vote, try to look past all the ads, marketing and other gimmicks that cloud the issues...and get me and Berkeley some Preparation H if you're at the store!