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Saturday, February 25, 2012

My own theme song

Gilligan's Island had a good ballad, both in opening AND end credits. Barney Miller had the best bass. Now, we don't really have theme songs anymore...that is, unless you watch classic channels like MeTV or Antenna TV. TVLand used to be good until the early 2000s then they decided to get hip and, well, suck.

   To me, a theme song truly sets up a show, much like the Star Wars music sets up any of those mvoies (except for Attack of the Clones!). CSI still does it, as does NCIS, even though both are short. With all the ad time anymore, these shows need as much plot time time as they can get!

To start, here's a list of 10 shows with great LYRICAL themes. These are not in any particular order, just as they come to mind. Write to me if you have any to add.

1. Gilligan's Island
2. Green Acres  (corny but fun)
3. Alice (they changed the lyrics after season 2 but it still set the show's tone nicely)
4. Addams Family
5. Scooby Doo Where Are You AND Scooby Doo Movies
6. Inspector Gadget
7. Greatest American Hero
8. Welcome Back, Kotter
9. The Jeffersons
10. Good Times

Now for a list of 10 shows without lyrics. Once again, stream of consciousness. Write if you have additional themse to suggest.

1. Barney Miller
2. The Wild Wild West
3. The Twilight Zone
4. Dragnet
5. Hawaii 5-O
6. Alfred Hitchcock
7. Perry Mason
8. Knight Rider
9. The A-Team
10. Law & Order

Of course, I left out many that a lot of people would deem classics. For instance, the theme to "Friends" is a classic among its fans, but a source of a need for butt itch cream for me! Growing Pains, Family Ties, and Who's the Boss? were also popular for some fans, but not yours truly! For me, the theme should be as fun to hear/watch as the main show.

Therefore, I have created my theme song. Well, I have the lyrics, and I could probably sing it to the tune of "Davy Crockett" but not just yet. Any ideas, write to A-Treat soda in Pennsylvania and have them send me some stuff, then tell me your theme idea (Las Vegas has no local brand...OF ANYTHING, so I look to Pennsylvania for good memories of food).

Here are my lyrics:

There once was a man named Mr. Moore.


As a child he was a real big bore.

At eighteen when his folks kicked him out the door.

He decided he'd be a bore no more.



Mr. Moore, Mr. Moore

Not too rich and not too poor

Mr. Moore, Mr. Moore

Crazy and sarcastic to the core



Over the years he went to school

Never again in his sleep would he drool

He always loved to swim in a pool

Yet everyone still called him a fool



Mr. Moore, Mr. Moore

Not too rich and not too poor

Mr. Moore, Mr. Moore

Crazy and sarcastic to the core



Later on he started to teach

In his spare time he dreamed of the beach

Yet a married life seemed out of reach

All the ladies wanted Stacy Keach!



Mr. Moore, Mr. Moore

Not too rich and not too poor

Mr. Moore, Mr. Moore

Crazy and sarcastic to the core



Then at last he found Mrs. Right

His heart told him she was out of sight!

Even when as a teacher money was tight,

They had a happy wedding one night



Mr. Moore, Mr. Moore

Not too rich and not too poor

Mr. Moore, Mr. Moore

Crazy and sarcastic to the core



The Moore's love was very rife

He loved being with his wife.

After some time there was some strife

Because what they needed was to bring in a new life



Mr. Moore, Mr. Moore

Not too rich and not too poor

Mr. Moore, Mr. Moore

Crazy and sarcastic to the core



Then one early August they had Natalie Jo

Oh, how they loved her so

She was beautiful from head to toe

But now their life was constantly on the go



Mr. Moore, Mr. Moore

Not too rich and not too poor

Mr. Moore, Mr. Moore

Crazy and sarcastic to the core




If it seems a bit self-deprecating, well, that's me and I like myself just fine anyway. Time to go..."The Courtship of Eddie's Father" is ringing in my head.

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Coming Soon...Look Out!!!! Part 4: The Golden Age

Over the past month or so, I've been reviewing movies that I waited to see at the theater. That means two things: 1, my parents didn't drag me to see them, and 2, they did not star Katherine Sieg Heil...er Heigl oops. I do seem to keep picking on her, but after catching apreview of her latest movie recently, I just can't understand why she's shoved at us.

   Now we enter what I consider to be the "Golden Age" of my movie-going, the years 1996 to 2002. This covers the time of my prime college years to when I left northern California for Las Vegas (a little of there also).

1996
 Beavis and Butthead Do America- OK, yes, we (my buddy Scott and I) were heavily influenced by the TV show. We did enjoy this film; unfortunately, the show started to get bad after this. (some would argue it always had been)

Broken Arrow- another new birth of John Travolta era film, this time he's a bad guy. Christian Slater was just along for the ride. This film was the only one that I, Scott, and Rob saw together. I can still watch this from time to time.

Escape from L.A.- a pretty good action film. I hadn't seen Escape from New York before this. What makes this movie even more memorable is that the film broke at a crucial moment (free movie pass for us!)

Independence Day- begin the "Will Smith can't lose" era of film. Quite enjoyable to this day! Imagine: Will Smith and Jeff Goldblum save the world! Unlikely in real life.

Mars Attacks- I enjoy this less now than I did when it came out, but it's still funny to think that the world was saved by Slim Whitman

Mystery Science Theater 300 The Movie- ok, I didn't exactly wait with baited breath for this one, but it's notable because Scott and I went to see this on our first night in the off-campus apartment. It was like watching an episode of the show on a big screen...which was sometimes good and often bad.

The People vs Larry Flynt- not a bad film, except one feels they've rooted for a sleazeball for 2 hours. I could take or leave this one now.

The Rock- Sean Connery and Nicolas Cage...one of many interesting pairings of the time, but it worked! This suffers from TV overplay, though.

Rumble in the Bronx- Our intro to Jackie Chan...pretty good! The only thing is, you've seen one of these, you've seen all of them.

Spy Hard- Yeah, Leslie Nielsen...one gag after another...been there done that. Next!

Star Trek First Contact- Now they got it right. This was the first reall all-NG cast with no Shatner influence. Throw in the Borg and you have a winner!

A Time to Kill- another good Grisham offering. Well done!

Tin Cup- tell the truth, I like this one better now than I did then. Painful to watch the end at first, but now it's all good.

 Yeah, a bountiful year! On to...

1997

Absolute Power- great Eastwood movie! I still love this one.

Air Force One- good Harrison Ford movie, but one gets tired of terrorists hijacking a plane, even if it does hold Han Solo!

Boogie Nights: Cheering for fictional porn stars....afternoon well-spent!

Con Air- This movie still rocks! Once again, John Malkovich shines as the bad guy.

The Devil's Advocate- hmmm, Keanu Reeves as a lawyer and Al Pacino as Satan! I think the best part was Connie Nielsen baring it all, but otherwise cheese with lots of ham

Face/Off- John Travolta again in bad (with some good) guy mode vs Nicolas Cage in good (sometimes bad) guy role...confusing? Maybe, but it's still watchable!

Grosse Pointe Blank- still a favorite! I can't help feel sorry for a guy whose childhood home is now a mini-mart.

The Ice Storm- a strange movie about mid-70s morality...depressing, actually!

The Jackal- for some reason I still like this one. Richard Gere with an Irish accent was fun to watch

Jackie Brown- this film is actually good due to the music. Otherwise, it's a yawner even with the soundtrack halfway through

L.A. Confidentail- a great detective story set in the 50s! I can watch this anytime.

Liar Liar- fun Jim Carrey without getting too dumb!

Leave it to Beaver- uh...saw this out of curiosity, and saw it ONCE!

Men in Black- fun fun fun! Really! Next!

The Peacemaker- cheesy George Clooney...next!

Private Parts- funny, but gets stale after 2 viewings

Rainmaker- great John Grisham flick...next!

Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion-okay film, hard to watch twice...so I didn't. Mostly a chick flick.

The Saint- interesting. I like it, but it has slow moments...don't watch after a long hard day

Yes, 1997 was a PEAK year. One would think I did nothing but see movies. Apart form classes and jobs, yeah, that was pretty much it!

1998

Armageddon- okay but overlong. Couldn't see it twice!

The Avengers- horrible! next!

The Big Hit- looked good in previews, but it sucked. Next!  ( hmm, detecting a pattern here!)

The Big Lebowski- that's more like it! Jeff Bridges as an aging hippie, say no more!

Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas- a bit confusing at times (as Hunter Thompson was often confused and confusing!)...Johnny Depp shines here. Good movie to see every 5 years.

Lethal Weapon 4- good movie, and a good end to a series!

Lost in Space- tough to like...and I didn't!

The Mask of Zorro- Antonio Banderas as Zorro...it worked! I can always watch this.

The Negotiator- ok, but it was a bit dark. Can't like this one anymore, the ending wasn't satisfying

Out of Sight- better George Clooney, and paired with J. Lo (who was hot at the time) this was a good Elmore Leonard adaptation

Psycho remake- word of advice...ALWAYS stick with Tony Perkins!

Star Trek:Insurrection- good, but forgettable

The Truman Show- good and insightful..are we all in a glass dome?

U.S. Marshalls- a sequel to The Fugitve...it had lost its charm after 1 viewing

The Wedding Singer- great, always enjoyable!

Overall, an ok year, but not nearly as much gold as 1997.

1999

8mm- dark Nicolas Cage film, and quite disturbing...one view was enough

American Beauty- enjoyable drama, but again, a not-so-happy ending and those don't sit well with me

Analyze This- funny still

Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me- pretty funny sequel, still funny!

Dogma- great, funny movie, and it still does well at poking fun at Catholicism

Mystery Men- funny sttill even if I was the only one who loved it.

Payback- rooting for a bad guy was pretty fun! Still is!

Star Wars I: The Phantom Menace- What I'd looked forward to for years.....just no pod races!!!!!!!!!

The Thomas Crown Afair- pretty good thriller with a good cast! Always watchable.

This seemed to be a tough year! Granted I saw a few others, but not always with previous anticipation.

2000

Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle- funny at first...dumb on 2nd viewing.

Charlie's Angels- pretty good still...another chhese with lots of ham

The Contender- great political drama! Always watchable.

High Fidelity- good on first viewing, tough afterwards

Keeping the Faith- wonderful flim about a girl, a priest, and a rabbi...one of the best of the year

Space Cowboys- Eastwood back in top form with a great cast! A favorite.

O Brother Where Art Thou?- pretty good. Unusual, but well done. Next!

Road Trip- fun and goofy! Still fun to watch!

Scary Movie- the only good one of the series, still fun!

Shaft 2000- good, but Samuel L. Jackson is no Richard Roundtree!

A bit better than 1999, but lacking still. Oh well, I was in ed school so I was busy! The Golen Age is slowly dimming.

2001

Ali- good, but not immortal. Only the man himself is!

Bandits- for some reason, this is a favorite. Bruce Willis and Billy Bob Thornton jsut worked here

Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back- still funny...if you know what to expect.

Ocean's 11- I still love this one! Yet, I also love the original 1960 classic even more.

Rat Race- a fun movie for everyone!

The Royal Tenenbaums- a major disappointment, and disturbing at times.

Vanilla Sky- weird, bad, never again!

A pretty bad year overall, not only for films, but a lot of people in general as well.

2002

The Count of Monte Cristo- great adventure! Still a favorite

Big Trouble- a good and funny film, but the book was better

Spider-Man- great live-action adaptation of the comic book! Still fun to watch.

Star Wars II: Attack of the Clones- uh, what? I like it, but it's the worst of the series. I had to see ti twice to realize I didn't like it all that much. The obligatory lightsaber duel was even disappointing!

The Sum of All Fears-I like this one, but I liked the book better. The adapation was poor but the story was good

The Bourne Identity- I still love this one. It introduced Matt Damon as an action star, not just goofy independent drama

Men in Back II- not nearly as good as the 1st one...haven't seen it twice.

Road to Perdition- interesting Tom Hanks film, but it showed me Jude Law has range.

Well, 2002 was slightly better, but there were many so-so films. And with that, the golden age ends. Sure, there have been some good films over the years, but the movies get so expensive and, well, there's a lot of CRAP!!!!!!!!!!!!  I still blame Heigle!





U-571- great World War II submarine flick! I love this one.














Friday, February 3, 2012

Coming soon....look out! Part 3

Without much more ado...we enter the 90s, which for the first couple of years were comparatively less watchable on-screen than 1989. Was Katherine Heigl in movies then, too? Let's start with 1990:

1990
Air America- a disappointment to this day. My wife and I watched this on Encore somewhat recently. It goes to show that putting two popular "hunky" actors toegether in a movie is not guaranteed success.

Another 48 Hours- another disappointment...of course it was a sequel, so there is that factor. However, I remember laughing a bit as a teenager, but did not bother seeing it again after that.

Bird on a Wire- Mel Gibson apparently let Lethal Weapon 2's success go to his head. If Air America wasn't bad enough, then this was.

Back to the Future 3- now we have a suitable end to a series! Watchable all the way through, I can still watch this and enjoy it to this day.

Die Hard 2- great action, wish they'd made a video game for it!

The Godfather Part 3- Granted, I'd never seen the first or second movies. That fact in itself made me want to see them. This one, however, was bad on a 2nd viewing.

Taking Care of Business- Ordinarily Jim Belushi isn't a box office draw, but this one was and still is funny.

1991
Addams Family- Didn't actually see this until it was 2nd run while I was in college. OK movie, but let's face it: Raul Julia was a great actor, but John Asin WAS Gomez Addams.

City Slickers- Funny then, funny now. I look at it a bit differently now, though, because I'm the age the main characters were at then.

The Doors- I still love Val Kilmer as Jim Morrison! However, it is a 1-sided story that shows the singer going from good to bad to worse. Later readings showed Morrison on more of a rollercoaster ride throughout the years. As a new Doors fan, I loved the soundtrack, then found the original albums to have more value.

Hook- Ummm, another 2nd run viewing in early 92...it was ok, just ran long. This was Dustin Hoffman's movie, not Robin Williams's.

Naked Gun 2 1/2- All right, it's a guilty pleasure to this day, this and its original! Fine, I said it! Let's move on...

Point Break- Looked good on previews, looked bad on actual viewing. Patrick Swayze is never believable as a bad guy and Keanu Reeves is rarely if ever believable as an actor.

Star Trek 6- Antoher 2nd run viewing in a lackluster theater during college. That being said, this was the right movie for the original crew to go out on, and Christopher Plummer IS and always will be a believable villain, especially as a Klingon!
 
Overall, 1991 was lacking in quality, at least according to this list. Let's see what 1992 has to offer.

1992
Batman Returns- I'm ashamed, deeply ashamed to have looked forward to this.

A Few Good Men- Still good! Tom Cruise should look at this from time to time and realize what a purely cheap thrill can do for an audience without all the FX!

Lethal Weapon 3- Ok, but a dud really. Joe Pesci's scenes just killed it.

Patriot Games- Good action. I wondered, though, what it would have been like with Alec Baldwin instead of an older Harrison Ford as Jack Ryan.

My Cousin Vinny- Saw this on Spring Break in San Diego. It is and was funny. A timeless classic!

Under Siege- Maybe the best Steven Seagal ever, because they actually hired a good director and writer. Gary Busey and Tommy Lee Jones as the bad guys are the scene-stealers.

Hmm, now that I look at it, 1992 is worse than 1990 or 91! Will 1993 improve? Let's find out.

1993
The Firm- great legal thriller! I can always see this.

The Fugitive- this may be my favorite film to this day! Once again Tommy Lee Jones steals the show and he earned his Oscar here!

Groundhog Day- always a feel-good movie, and makes one wonder what other small American towns celebrate. always a feel-good movie, and makes one wonder what other small American towns celebrate. always a feel-good movie, and makes one wonder what other small American towns celebrate.

In the Line of Fire- great Eastwood movie, but once again the villain John Malkovich steals the show.

Tombstone- One of my favorite westerns! Val Kilmer AND Kurt Russell shine in this.

OK...not much of an improvement for a year. I'm almost afraid to see 1994. OK, here goes-

1994
 Clear and Present Danger- A good Jack Ryan film...but as usual the plot got convoluted in trying to be true to the novel or being independent form the novel. I have a hard time staying awake thorugh this one.

The Client- I'd read the book already, and I was pleasantly surprised at the film. This was one of many Tommy Lee Jones flicks that capitalized on his Fugitive success...not all were good, but this was!

Exit to Eden- saw this in college with my new friends. It was ok, and I have trouble seeing how funny it seemed then. But...if you're a fan of Dana Delany, it's worth it.

Forrest Gump- A favorite then, a favorite now! Saw it 4 times at the theater and proud of it.

Maverick- I still like this one. Mel Gibson was starting to get funnier in his own right, and James Garner is always a treat.

Pulp Fiction- Ezekiel 25:17...classic quote by a 'Fro-wigged Samuel L. Jackson. I love this one even if others do not.

The Santa Clause- A great Christmas film that we as a family still enjoy every year.

The Ref- I was a Denis Leary newbie fan at the time, but this is a Christmas classic of its own right, about the darker dysfunctional family holidays that besmirch many households each year. It is still a classic!

Speed- a rare classic Keanu Reeves flick, but Dennis Hopper is the winner here, as is new star Sandra Bullock. I can still watch this over and over...as long as Keanu's short righeous speeches are muted now and then.

Star Trek Generations- Yawn! Next!

So yes, that was a fuller year! College really helped me to get out and enojy life at the movies more. It would in the next year as well...

1995
 Apollo 13- OK, but too many crises on that mission made it a tense movie...not a favorite.

Batman Forever- Tommy Lee Jones Strikes Again...yawn...next!

The Brady Bunch Movie- now this is the way to honor and lampoon an American classic. Once every 2 years is a good viewing schedule at best.

Casino- long, violent, and too much Joe Pesci...next!

Crimson Tide- good submarine suspense film. Denzel vs Hackman.

Desperado- Antonio Banderas at his best, which isn't saying much, I guess...but a good action flick nonetheless!

Die Hard with a Vengeance- yawn, next!

Get Shorty- when a film is made for John Travolta, you have to know what to expect...not so good anymore.

Goldeneye- my first Bond movie in a theater...good, but it made for a better video game.

Heat- Pacino vs DeNiro, long but I still like it!

Jerky Boys- dumb, dumber and dumbest all at once...even Alan Arkin can't save this

Money Train- fun then, dumb now, even with a young J Lo

The Net- great Sandra Bullock suspense movie. Dated computer-wise but still relevant in the Big Brother sense

The Usual Suspects- Kaiser Sose...apart from that, can't watch this anymore

While You Were Sleeping- another good Bullock film...now SHE was one who capitalized well on a previous hit film...not all of hers were winners, but she's still going strong!


Ah yes, film-going in college was a regular thing and there was a lot to see (but not always enjoy)....next, 1996 to 2002, the Golden Age