Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Taking a Cruise But Didn't Care To Ask, Part 3

Cruise

Exciting and steep
Come aboard
We're fleecing you
Yeah, cruise
Life's expensive reward
Let it sail, it rocks back and forth for you

Yes, my apologies to Jack Jones, but it seemed fitting!

In three days time, we had launched on our cruise ship, the Carnival Firenze, took an excursion to Catalina Island, and took a shorter trip (for me and Vickie anyway) to Ensenada.

And now we were on Day 4, which they call Sea Day, essentially dropping anchor (no I don't mean their pants...at least not that I saw) and sitting  for several hours.

For many, this was probably just another day of fun on the ship since several people did not explore Catalina or Ensenada, and that is ok. There are many things to do on board, not the least of which is eating and drinking. The leisure decks have pools, a ropes course, mini golf, an arcade, and basketball. If one wants to, they can just sit and look at the Pacific Ocean. If you're a desert rat like me, that last one is quite enjoyable.

For us, we partook in our final breakfast in the Michelangelo Dining Room, which was actually a brunch on Sea Day. We then went to see about a trivia game in one of the lounges. WOW WAS IT PACKED! The problem was not the excitement of the activity, but rather a lack of off-ship opportunities...all the rats were stuck on the floating ship. It seemed quite disorganized, so Vickie and I watched for a bit then went elsewhere.

Later on, we hit another trivia game which was better prepared, but as we were a team of 2, we got 4 out of 20. Not our best or worst.

After that was our final dinner on the ship, where I had an appetizer of frog legs (yum!) and seafood penne.

And then we went to see the ship's comedian perform. Vickie and I always love a good stand-up act and this guy was no disappointment. The material was definitely for 18+ of age. Later in the night, we went to the Lido Deck for a little late night snack.

And then came debarkation day.

It's funny how for several days, you're treated like a valued guest, but when it's time to go, THEY WANT YOU TO GO! All passengers were to be out of their rooms by 8:30 a.m. and off the ship no later than 10 a.m. No wonder, they were getting ready for the next voyage, which I believe was the weekend 3-day trip to Ensenada and back.

So, once again, we stood in long lines to get back into the USA officially. It was then a tale of 2 Uber trips to find the right bus depot in Long Beach to find the bus I reserved to take us to San Diego and the ANOTHER Uber to take us to my Dad's place. Natalie was anxious to get home, so after some pizza and telling our cruise tales, and getting a battery jump from AAA, we coffee'd and gassed uo and headed for home, arriving at 2a.m.

Some thoughts...

I know this is a world of long lines when there is food or fun involved, I need to stop be a curmudgeon on that stuff.

It's always a fun mystery to come back in the stateroom to see what towel origami was created by the staff and put on our freshly made bed.

The ship's layout was so intricate that even I was still a bit lost at times near the end. But that was ok, it created a daily sense of adventure.

It was expensive for sure, and took a whole year to pay off...but well worth it if you go only once in your life...we want to go again!

There was no drama...everyone was happy to be there and got along fine. The cruise was definitely a multi-cultural gathering. The United Nations could take notes and learn from this.

And finally there was a definite sadness upon returning. Our stateroom was practically home away from home and our time together was wonderful.

Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Taking a Cruise But Didn't Care To Ask, Part 2

 With no coffee in my body yet, I somehow feel inspired to talk about the next part of our 20 years together cruise.

To recap, with so much going on the day we embarked on the Carnival Firenze, Vickie and I just came back to our stateroom and slept after dinner, with me probably sleeping a bit more since I'd been up most of the previous day in excited anticipation of this adventure we'd been waiting for.

And then I awakened, feeling quite refreshed and ready for what our adventure had to offer. I got up, looked outside and got this sight!

Indeed, we were getting ready to dock at Santa Catalina Island! Now, I must confess, this is what I was most excited about in terms of excursions. I had heard of the island but never set sight on it other than photos. I got Vickie up, and we got dressed and went to the dining room for breakfast. 

Then we began our day's adventure with...ANOTHER LONG LINE!! Yes, as I said previously, The Love Boat's 9 seasons never delved into the hell of lines...just like game shows never talk about the taxes on cash and prizes. Luckily, this line moved fast. The ship does not actually dock at the island, but rather sits offshore and uses a local ferry company to take the ship's passengers to and from the island.

Also, anyone who knows me knows that I get just a little disoriented in a new place, particularly when I am not sure where north is. I was also slightly mistaken about where the island was. I had assumed that it lay just south of Santa Barbara when it actually lies about 30 miles south of Long Beach where we had embarked from, so we had not traveled far. 

The area we ferried to was called Avalon, on the northeastern part of Catalina, and wow, is it ever set up for cruise folk! All sorts of souvenir and clothing shops with fairly elevated prices awaited us. Of course, we had one huge advantage: we did not have much to spend for anything. Just paying for this cruise alone took a lot. However, we were not that poor and had enough for a gift for Natalie plus a nice fried seafood lunch along the pier. A sea pigeon absconded with one of my tartar sauce cups quite aggressively, just to keep the sense of adventure alive!

Afterward, we hit one or two more shops and then headed back to the Firenze. A little rest was needed before we got dressed up and attended the photo shoot we were scheduled to have. Now, I kind of knew where this was headed: a pricy sales pitch. We've been through them before when we used to do either family or just Natalie shoots at a Henderson studio for years. I will say the photographer was quite friendly and knew the poses she wanted us to do both inside and outside. 

Soon after, we headed to the dining room for a "formal dress" dinner. Not everyone was dressed in swank, but most were. Vickie opted for a glass of wine. Unlike the rum punches that were foisted on us the first day, this was decided upon by her so I had no objections. My dinner choice was salmon with a delicious asparagus cream sauce. We were even treated to a beautiful sunset over Catalina Island!

Afterward, it was back to the room for rest, it had been quite an exciting day...and I must say this was the best day of the whole trip. 

Of course, with any great day there sometimes follows the antithesis to that greatness, and in this case it was a day docked in Ensenada. Perhaps it was foreshadowed by the less than stellar sight outside our room that morning:

Yeah, shipping docks are not exactly a sight to behold, that is unless you ship things regularly and are excited to see a port.

Unlike the Catalina excursion, the Firenze docked right at the island, so we were able to just get off.

Oh, one thing I forgot to mention is the Sail and Ship cards we were given when our rooms were ready. These cards were our survival to access our rooms, purchase items on board, and get on and off the ship.

Okay...Ensenada, Mexico. If you have any knowledge of Mexico itself when it comes to American tourists, you know that there are NUMEROUS shops and citizens on the streets trying to peddle what they have to offer. I do remember in early 1997 when my dad was getting remarried, my the-borther in law and my dad's 2 brothers and I went to Tijuana and had a bachelor party without the bachelor in attendance. Back then, too, there were a lot of people selling candy on the streeets, Chiclets in particular. 

Helpful tip #5: Saying No or No, gracias is appropriate. Saying No, motherfucker! might get the point across stronger but could also get the hell beaten out of you.

Another thing is that Ensenada, like other Mexican tourist spots, has American businesses there. We saw Carl's Jr, McDonald's, and Starbucks. We stopped in Starbucks for a restroom visit and a chance to tap into some free wifi for a few.

Plus, Mexico is known to be cheaper for a lot of things that are expensive in America, particularly meds, no prescription needed. I've also heard dental work is cheaper.

I think we bought one magnet for my classroom, but that was it. We grabbed the bus back to our ship and got right on. Days later, I do wonder if any people who ate and drank in Ensenada had any issues.

After some lunch on the Lido deck, we just chilled for a while before heading to the top and getting in a round of miniature golf. It was only 9 holes, but still pretty fun. No scorecards. Above us was a ropes course, below was a basketball court, plus an arcade and set of waterslides. Fun for everybody, really!

Later on, we were subjected to the photo session's sales pitch. Most packages were over a thousand, but we decided on one photo of us for about $80. I felt bad for spending so little for all that hard work, but then again, I did not create the prices.

Overall, I think Ensenada day was not the best in terms of experience. Taking photos from the ship made it look much prettier by comparison, and for sure there are a lot of gorgeous parts of Mexico, lots of mountains and beaches near the coast. If you're in Sonora just south of Arizona, well, desert is desert. I know people often associate Mexico with drug cartels and human trafficking...and to just make a small political note that has no business being in this article...no more or less crime than in this country, I am sure.

Up next, part 3: day at sea and debarkation.

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Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Taking a Cruise But Didn't Care To Ask, Part 1

 So, you want to take a cruise on the sea for a few days?

No? Ok, sorry, I'll stop here.

Yeah right! As if any of you will get me to shut up about anything just short of chloroform...though I am sure that method has crossed a mind or two.

Indeed, my wife and I took a long-awaited cruise this past week. It was actually 8 years overdue. We were all set up in spring of 2018 to do this but we forgot some vital documents such as birth certificates. Needless to say, we were crushed. This time, however, we were prepared, especially since this year is our 20th year together and just going to get a 20 piece McNuggets meal was not going to cut it, not even with tossing in an extra hot mustard sauce!

The anticipation was growing in the final weeks, even when I was sick froma virus in the alst 2 weeks of school. Granted, part of that was from not going 8 years ago,mthe mystery of it all. Now, no more mystery and I am quite happy to say if we can pull off a bank robbery or two, I'd love to do it again, though with the sense of a seasoned veteran I did not have this time around.

So, along with my tale, I will include some tips on cruising right and frugally.

We began our true journey at the cruise port in Long Beach, California. It is a giant dome that makes you think you're at Epcot in Florida. As we had driven to San Diego late the night before to drop our daughter at my dad's place, then took a bus to Long Beach and an Uber to the port, we were quite tired.

Now, here is what those episodes of The Love Boat did not depict. There is a helluva long line of people like us waiting to get checked in. The smart and seasoned ones have passports, others like us have government IDs and birth certificates and hope there is no problem.My stuff was ok but Vickie's docs got a couple of raised eyebrows due to the lack of a raised state seal. Luckilly she also brought her social security card so all was good. Next, you go through a TSA like scanner and strip search (wait, that last part was in a nightmare, sorry). After that, it is a climb up a few ramps in that dome, constantly showing all who request it your boarding pass. Photographers are also there to seize the opportunity to make money before you're even on the ship!

Before we knew it, we were finally on the gangway to the Carnival Firenze! It was quite impressive, 14 total decks, though the top 2 were definitely smaller. Once on, we had to orient ourselves quite fast. The first order of business was to find deck 5, section C, which was our muster station.

What is mustering? Apparently whenever you're on a cruiise ship, there is a safety location in case of disaster, and you are to muster (or gather) in a certain place to hear further instructions (often involing loud and desperate prayer).

Once we "self-mustered" ("Bryan Timothy Moore, are you self mustering in there? You'll go blind!") at our assigned location, it was off to deck 10, known as the Lido deck on that particular ship. The Lido deck was where most of the informal dining options were, including a couple of buffets. 

Helpful hint 1: If you desire access to soda or beer, there is a fee for the whole voyage for it. Otherwise, it is water, juice, coffee, or hot cocoa. We opted not to do this.

Helpful hint 2: If you decide you want Internet access, there is a hefty fee for that as well. We just chose the ship wi fi for access to activity choices and meal check in. I can surf at home.

As we sat for our refreshment, a jolly man with a Caribbean accent strongly suggested we try his rum punch. 

Helpful hint 3: Nothing offered except bread is complimentary and this rule applies most definitely to alcoholic beverages.

The moment we grabbed the drinks, we were asked to sign our names...and before we knew it, $35 was charged to our account.

And then, finally around 1:30, we were told that we could go to our rooms. We were on deck 2, which is most definitely on the low part of the ship. That said, Vickie had upgraded us there, otherwise we would not have had a balcony to get good sea air and hear the sounds of the sea. Sadly, our luggage was not yet there. No matter. After checking out the balcony, both of us took a nap.

Helpful hint 4: The toilet paper provided is school-grade. It might be good to leave a little room in the luggage for a home roll or two.

After a little snooze, our luggage finally arrived. We unpacked a few things and then went exploring a bit. What we soon found out was that aside from the photographs, there are other sales rackets (sorry, OPPORTUNITIES) going on. To sum up a wasted hour, we decided not to pursue their little games. Besides, it was time for dinner.

We headed to the Michelangelo Dining Room, where we learned you're supposed to check in on the app. Luckily it was not crowded yet since the sales pitches were still holding other passengers hostage. 

Now, anyone who knows me gets that I love a good meal and this dining room did not disapppint at any time. The service was great, every guest was treated on a first name basis, and the food was delicious! Of course, there were some menu items was were a little or a lot extra, but we generally stuck to the regular items. On the first night, I had a steak and it was as good as a regular restaurant.  What helped was the general ambience and, if you were lucky (which we were often), a seat with a great view of the sea.

We were planning to see a comedy show that night but we were still tired and just went to bed.

Up Next: part 2: Catalina and Ensenada

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